• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago


* EQD Blogpony * Best Author nominee: 2013 Pony Awards * Thirteen time featured writer on Equestria Daily * Panelist: Ponycon AU 2014/2015, Salvagecon, and Alicon 2018/2019.


Featured on Equestria Daily
Audio Book Version by Mr. Kenyon
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Harvey Grimwold was a respected member of the Hell's Angels motorcycle gang. He rode a wicked hog, wore the best leather, and had an awesome beard. Then that same awesome beard turned into Pinkie Pie and his life turned upside down.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 382 )

Firstly, I would like to apologize in advance for this story. It formed as the result of staying up a little too late with perhaps a little too much caffeine.

At any rate, take your "serious" glasses off, and put on some clown shoes. Things are going to get weird.

EDIT: I'm also working on Chapter 2, which shall be titled: I Do Believe My Beard Just Bit Me. Stay tuned!

...Wat. Thats my reaction.

Wat. :pinkiegasp:

Pinkie as a beard... this is a new one.. :rainbowhuh:

Eh, I'll track, no harm done.

...:rainbowderp:Now I'm curious to see where this is going...

272196 Apropos of nothing, I think the fillies in older generations looked like something between cats and froggies. :twilightblush:
And I'll track so I can come back later and see where da hay this is going.

I just WHATed all over myself. Tracking. So totally tracking this.

OK. That is not what I was expecting to be on the front page, BUT THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING. DO EET. WRITE SUM MOAR. I WANT MOARR!

I can see this becoming ten different types of awesome, each in their own magical flavour.

Pinkie pie as a beard. Why has no one thought of this before?

Oh, this keeps on getting better. I haven't laughed this much in a while.

I love that pinkie pie in this is pinkie pie: being turned into a beard and attached to someone's face doesn't seem to have made her an ooc at all. Add onto that the fact that Harvey's dynamics with her and his characterisation are fantastic and you're dealing with comedy gold here. Keep it up, though you don't seem to be finding it hard so far.

I still have absolutely no idea how you came up with this, though Pinkie's explanation's amusing: how did she get there? A unicorn did it. :pinkiehappy:

I'm still trying to determine what, exactly, possessed me to write this.

Apparently, it was one of the rare good ideas that result from a lack of sleep and caffeine addiction. Thank you for the comments.

Spread the word! Pinkie the Beard demands it! :pinkiehappy:

I just barfed confusion all over my computer. :pinkiesick: One......more......chapter......

Dude, ponies are small, but they're not that small.
Nitpicking aside, this is great.

why is it that when you drink caffeine late at night you get this stuff and when I drink caffeine late at night I get shit so fucked up it makes Cupcakes look like heaven

also Pinky as a beard is best pony.

For the love of the Princesses this is awesome! How is it not featured yet?


272722 If people could kindly spread the word and link this, it just may get up there.

Then again, are we sure this should get featured? :facehoof:

I have to second him on this wonderfully useful gif.

:pinkiegasp:<A down vote?)

Yes Pinkie, a down vote.

:pinkiecrazy:<Oh ho ho, my pretties. Attack!)

272900 Burn the heretic! none shall stand before the wrath of Pinkie Beard!

To clarify something before the question is even asked, I had no intention of copying JasonTheHuman's scene from Anthropology concerning ponies reacting to humans eating meat.

Pizza just happened to be a theme right from the get-go, and then I realized "Pinkie's not going to appreciate pepperonis."

That's all there is to it.

Oh man , this is going to end poorly, you're going to be condemned to pony hell. And me with you for encouraging you to write this monstrosity.

Waking up to this>Great start to morning:pinkiehappy:

nice job!

The story is currently going through some minor editing for submission to Equestria Daily. The word is it just needs a little polish, but will almost certainly be accepted in "Round 2" of the submission process.

Here's hoping!:scootangel:

Ohmahgawd yes, finally, Featured!


273678 Don't worry about it! You didn't have her try the meat, and she didn't exactly have a heart attack, either.

Good sir, I dare say that this rollicking yarn has inspired me...

To have the entire surface area of my body waxed, so that I may never have to wake up and find that my hair has been replaced by a sentient creature from another dimension! :pinkiecrazy::trollestia::raritywink::eeyup:

Pinkie is best beard. LOL :rainbowlaugh:

NOpony bites the nipple of a--

This is wonderful! Oh my goodness... have you offered it to EqD? I dunno if they'd accept it, but it would give them a laugh!

273879 Just use the attempt wisely; they have recently instituted a "three strike" rule, where a submission gets completely ignored after the third rejection, as the pre-readers have too many to handle each day. They say their job isn't to help people improve in the first place; just determine the worthiness of a story. If you're close, though, you've got a good chance.


I was really impressed with it! It is the rare sort of comedy fic which is actually funny!

:derpyderp2: oop pinkie's not happy with pepperoni

:pinkiesmile: <(Please tell me that some of you understood the pepperoni joke.)

:raritydespair: Can't... stop... laughing! :rainbowwild: Story... too... good! :yay: Must... calm... okay, I think I'm done now.

:ajsmug: Dude, you'd better make sure nobody important finds out about this story. The government will kidnap you and perform experiments in an attempt to find out how you could possibly possess such genius ideas - and that would be a disaster, because then I'd never find out how the story ends! :pinkiecrazy:

Would you believe that I get that look all the time?

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