• Member Since 11th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 19th, 2020


Just a nice, polite Canadian.


The alternate timeline battle against King Sombra has finally come to an end, and now Pinkie Pie is entrusted with keeping the ex-King under lock and key for the rest of his days. But having seen her friends hurt and tormented by King Sombra personally, Pinkie Pie decides to punish the unicorn in the worst possible way she can think of.

By not telling him what his horn tastes like.

Spin-off of Unicorn Horns Are Made Of Candy.

Entry into ocalhoun's Big 250K Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

...Seriously?:ajbemused::facehoof: My brain can't even... process this info. And that's how Sombra was reformed...:applejackconfused: Still amazing though!:pinkiecrazy:Nononononononono! You are NOT licking my horn! (Even though my OC doesn't have one...)

It's good to know that Pinkie still performs madness-inducing antics even in disastrous alternate timelines. She's just less peppy while doing so.

Oh? You're entering ocalhoun's contest, too? That's interesting.

You should never go full Bendy.... Unless you're Bendy

Craaaaaap why're you entering that contest. Funny read though.

Oh man, I love this so much!

oh god. my sides.
great. great. GREAT good sir!
Sombras horn sounds delicious... fruity and juicy.

I was expecting something more or less a postwar effect on equestria:twilightblush:, but as soon as I saw what came before this story....I knew what I was getting into!:pinkiecrazy:

6918347 And here I was debating dedicating this story to you... :rainbowlaugh:

6917946 Thank you! :pinkiehappy:

6917468 What's wrong with entering a contest? :unsuresweetie: I've been meaning to write for more of them, but have never had an idea for one. I don't expect to win anything, but a lot of writers enter them. This was also the only story I've read of ocalhoun's.

6917270 Wish you told me sooner! :pinkiesick:

6917117 Why? :trixieshiftright: It basically gives me free license to write about horn licking...

6917102 :pinkiesad2: "Oh, right. Fun. I remember fun. Had it once, then the world ended. Never again."

6917097 Basically my facial expression while writing:

First draft: :ajbemused: This is a dumb story.
Second draft. :ajbemused: This is still a dumb story.
Final draft and submission. :ajbemused: You're the guy that wrote Anyone You Want Me To Be, right? What happened to you?

6920216 I'm just giving ya gump buddy don't worry, contests are actually really good ways to branch out and practice things you normally wouldn't do. Ignore the fact I'm trying to enter it as well. Has nothing to do with my silly outburst I swear.:ajsmug::twilightblush:

You’re evil—plain and simple. And that evilness has now infused itself onto your horn for all time.”

Sooooo........ Black licorice then?

...I feel like there's an innuendo in here somewhere. :rainbowlaugh:

This was hilarious, and probably the most comedic Sombraverse story I've seen in a long time.


The great King Sombra tasting liking raisins?


Can you possible imagine

No, but I can possibly imagine.

Damn you, now I cant get the image out of my mind of Zecoras Fruity Horn Bender Bar. :trollestia:

6924656 No! :twilightangry2: No! I don't want to ride that train! No -- Oh, that was short. :pinkiesmile: Never mind.

6924100 It's only a 2k word dick joke. What did you expect? :rainbowlaugh:

... Yes.

I like this story.

Mainly because of me imagining Sombra with a British accent due to how little we got of him in the canon.

I too knew Sombra was a little bit fruity...I mean, he was more interested in Spike than Cadance in the main timeline. :derpytongue2:

Cannot...get over this line: "“I knew it! I just knew that deep down the great King Sombra was a little bit fruity!”

6932194 Yes. Fruity... but delicious. :facehoof:

6929287 I always imagine him voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch (sp). So I guess that fits. :twilightsheepish:


So unicorn horns are like lucky charms . . . . they're MAGICALLY DELICIOUS :rainbowlaugh:

I want to read pinkie's book.

So let me guess, Rarity's horn tastes like vanilla ice cream, Twilight's tastes like blueberries, Cadance's is...also strawberries, I guess. What about Celestia? I need to know Celestia's horn flavor!

7032597 Wasn't it pina colada?

7110625 Sorry, I made that comment before reading the original story. :twilightblush:

6993376 I would read the F:yay:k out of that book.

My friend you have a looooong way to reaching Bendys level of insanity
also, ya need more butts, like lots more pony butts

Now this was a fun read! It gave me the sense of knowing exactly where it was going, and yet enjoying watching it go there ... and then it went in a different way entirely. I was definitely not expecting Pinkie to give in! But the story is just so damn cute-funny throughout. ^.^ I don't even know why it is, but the absurdity mixed with the darkness of that timeline just makes everything pretty wonderful. The only complaint I could have is that the ending got progressively more absurd and anticlimactic. I know the story needed some conclusion in order to make it feel complete, but it seems like the ending there wasn't earned ... that it didn't follow logically from the events that preceded it. A Deus Ex Machina, perhaps. Still, this is one of the most enjoyable stories I've found in the contest yet!

A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.

7140630 Glad you enjoyed it... for the most part. :twilightsmile:

Thanks for the review!

Author Interviewer

That was kind of amazing. XD

Did I just go full Bendy

One does not simply go full Bendy :rainbowwild:

Nice little story here man, it gave me a good belly laugh and made me smile, so nice job dude!


You sir, are a psychotic maniacal comedian. :rainbowwild:

ha i love the whole horn flavored idea. i wish there where more stories on it.
but seriously is strawberry Sombra's horn flavor?

—‘Horn Flavors Of The Rich And Famous’


Also, no, Bendy's work is a bit more subtly vulgar... just a bit though.

Jeez, this was..............I don't even know where to begin............


7032597 I'd say she tastes like mixed fruit


“Can you possibly imagine having a part of your body that might taste like anything in the world, but one that you couldn’t reach yourself? A limb of your own you’d love to just give a little lick, but have to rely on others to do it for you? Everyday I can’t help but think about it. Everyday I see my horn out of the corner of my eyes. Is it sweet? Salty? I don’t know. I can’t know.”

Ok, now i just KNOW there's a joke in there somewhere!

...... Well, this story seems so.. Uncomfortable.

This story made me so Horny. :trollestia:

2 Live Herd and their new hit song, "Me So Horny".

This is hilarious, and I'd loved to see more Alternate Universe Pinkie and Sombra.

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