//------------------------------// // Explanations // Story: But you can't be interested in HIM! // by Flowey the Flower //------------------------------// It was the birds again. Twilight decided that she'd have to take care of the problem soon, or her mornings would continue to begin like this. "Ugh, just shut up!" The ruffled princess yelled aimlessly through the open window. But, being birds, and not being able to understand Twilight's shout, they continued on. Twilight slammed the window shut with an indignant huff. She could probably ask Fluttershy to politely ask them to cease their insufferable singing so early in the morning, but it was one of those things that always seemed to slip her mind. There was a planner open on the nightstand next to her bed, and Twilight decided that she'd better write it down. She'd get rid of these annoying birds yet. After scribbling down a quick note, she made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She'd never been one for the culinary arts, but with the glamorous and expensive looking room the castle had gifted her upon creation, she had felt that it was only natural that she cook at home a little more. She was still no chef—far from it, in fact—but with Pinkie Pie's help she'd learned to make simple pancakes. As she walked through the halls, she wondered briefly if she had any rubies still for Spike. He loved ruby pancakes, almost more than she herself loved chocolate chip pancakes. She chuckled a bit upon remembering the first time they'd gotten the idea to put gems in pancakes; Spike couldn't get enough of them. "Good morning, Twilight!" Spike greeted her cheerily as she entered the kitchen. Adorned in his apron, the little dragon stood atop a stool at the stove. The griddle pan was sizzling with butter, and a bowl and ladle were in his claws. "I'm making pancakes. Want anything in them?" "I was going to-" Twilight broke into laughter. "What?" Spike asked confusedly. "Nothing, we just think a lot alike," she answered, amused. "If you say so," he said with a shrug. "So you want anything in them or not?" "Plain is fine. Why don't you sit down and let me finish them?" She walked toward the stove, a smile on her face. "I think we still got some rubies left for your pancakes, if you want." "Well somepony is sure in a good mood this morning." Spike flashed her a knowing grin. "And nah, it's okay, this is my favorite part of making them! And plain is fine for me too." "What was that for?" Twilight asked, leaning on the counter. "What was what for?" Spike poured some batter on the pan. "That face!" Twilight said in both playfulness and curiosity. Did he know something she didn't? "I don't know what you're talking about," he replied. He grinned again, not taking his eyes off the griddle, spatula in claw. "See, there it is again!" She pointed an accusatory hoof in his direction. "What?" Spike continued to smile as he flipped a pancake. "That! Come on, what aren't you telling me?" "Well, like I said, you're in a pretty good mood this morning." He flipped another pancake. "Not even the birds got you down today, huh?" "Ugh, don't remind me about the birds," Twilight groaned, putting her hooves to her temples. "Heh, right." Spike plopped three pancakes onto a nearby plate and poured more batter on the griddle. "So it went well? Like, really well?" "What went well?" Twilight let her hooves drop and gave her assistant a confused look. "You know, last night," Spike answered. "I have to admit I was pretty nervous. I tried to stay up until you got home, but I fell asleep, sorry." He flipped two more pancakes. "Hey, what time did you get home, anyway?" "I... I don't know," Twilight murmured. Suddenly, everything seemed to be moving exponentially slower. It all came back to her at once: The Hayburger, the date, and then... "I guess it was pretty late, ha ha," she laughed nervously. "Aw, don't worry about it, Twilight. You were probably having a lot of fun; you just lost track of time is all," he reassured her. "I'm actually not sure how I got home," she realized aloud. "What?" Spike set three more pancakes onto the plate next to the stove, giving Twilight a slightly worried look. "Celestia," she muttered. "Celestia was there. After that, I can't remember..." "Oh no, it's not my fault, is it?" Spike's eyes filled with worried guilt. He switched the stove off, and hopped down from the stool. "I sent a letter to Princess Celestia because I was a little nervous about your date." He looked at the ground and clasped his claws behind his back. "You asked her to come get me?" Twilight's voice was not angry, but curious. "No, not at all!" He looked up at her suddenly, tone urgent. He let out a sigh and turned his gaze back to the ground. "I just asked her a few questions, is all. She never answered." A few moments of silence passed. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault then, Spike," she smiled warmly and placed a hoof gently on his shoulder. "Really? Then why do you think she showed up? What happened?" He looked back up. "It's a little fuzzy, but I think she may have put me to sleep and then teleported me home," she answered. Her expression grew darker and she returned her hoof back to the floor. She looked away and furrowed her brow. "And I think I do know why she was there." "Why?" Spike, sensing he was in the clear, went and grabbed the plate of pancakes. "He did it." Twilight followed Spike to the kitchen table, levitating syrup and butter out of the fridge as she did so. "He's trying to throw me off the trail, build credibility for himself." Spike didn't answer. Instead, he set the pancakes on the table, and went to grab two plates and silverware. "He's setting me up for something big, I know it. He was so nice and pleasant... everything seemed perfect. I didn't let my guard down though." She sat down at the table and scratched her chin as she thought. Spike set the two plates, forks, and knives at their spots before sitting down. He picked out two pancakes for himself, and began to douse them in syrup. "I bet he's feeling pretty good about himself right now. He probably thinks I've fallen for him," she laughed smugly. "But when he goes to spring his trap, I'll get him. I'll have the last laugh." She jammed a fork into her stack of pancakes and chuckled. "Um, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'm just gonna go with that your date didn't go as well as I thought," Spike said, sighing through bites of pancake. "So I take it you're done with him?" "No, it's far from over," Twilight responded in a serious tone. She took a quick bite and swallowed. "In fact, how's our Friday looking this week?" "I think you're clear, but I'm going to the game with Shining Armor, remember? Why?" "That's when Discord and I will be going on our second date," Twilight stated with finality. She got up from her seat and began to walk to the fridge. "Want any orange juice?" "Uh, yeah, sure," Spike answered. Had he heard her right? A second date? "But I thought you didn't like him?" "I don't." She walked back to the kitchen table, a jug of orange juice and two cups floating in her magic. She slammed the glasses down with a loud CLINK and filled them up. "And I never will." "Okay, so let's start from the beginning," Luna spoke firmly to the draconequus before her, the creature who was trying as hard as he could to not squirm beneath her gaze. "You found the curse where?" "What does it matter? It was in a book. A lot of places have books. You already seem to know all there is to know about the thing; why would where I found it matter in the slightest?" Discord huffed and crossed his arms, much like a foal, and looked away. He hated Canterlot, and he hated the capital's castle. He especially hated virtually being held captive within the chambers of one of the Alicorn Sisters, but was also thankful that he was not trapped within the room of the other sister. "Because I asked you," Luna answered simply. Her glare hardened. "Do you forget what you've done? It would be to everyone's benefit if you'd answer my questions without any resistance." "Ah, but then what fun would that be?" He stretched out on his back with a catlike posture upon Luna's bed, ignoring her annoyed scowl. He let out a short yawn. "But I suppose, in this case, fun isn't at the top of the list of importance, is it?" "I'd think not," she muttered with a snort. "Now, really, where in the world did you find such a vile tome? Before last night, I had believed that my sister and I had gotten rid of all records of that curse." "Well, obviously not. Somepony didn't do their job right then, hmm? I think it's safe to say that this is just as much as your fault as it is mine," said Discord. He flipped over and propped his head atop his paw and claws. "While I'll admit that letting such a thing remain for someone to find it was a grave error on our part, it doesn't take away from your blunder in the least." Luna's voice dripped with steady agitation. "I know, I'm sorry," he murmured dejectedly with a sigh. "Please forgive my facetiousness; I understand how grave the situation is, I really do. I want to correct what I've done." He looked away. "I'm just not completely sure how to react to this kind of situation," he grumbled. It didn't happen very often that Discord didn't know something, or at least he believed it didn't happen very often. He didn't enjoy not understanding what he was feeling in the slightest. "Discord." Luna shut her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "I imagine, no I hope, you're feeling guilt. Now can we please get back on topic?" "No compassion for this draconequus, huh?" A playful smirk replaced his uncomfortable look. "I wouldn't say that. I've just learned to not indulge in your little pity parties over the centuries." She rolled her eyes. She was certainly not falling for his sympathy attacks today. "So a 'no', then. At least I'm not the only one with problems," he mused aloud. "And what do you mean by that?" Luna asked incredulously. "Oh, it's just that a certain moon princess isn't quite consistent with her speech," Discord said smugly. "I- Why I don't- What doth thee mean?" "Ah ha, there it is!" He burst out in laughter. "Doth thee not see what I mean?" He mimicked her in a sing-song voice with crossed eyes. "Well... Well it isn't my fault the Equestrian dialect changed while I was gone," she sniffed indignantly. "Sometimes I fall back onto my old way of talking. So what?" "Like the entirety of last night?" "I- yes. Now can we please-" "Get back on topic?" Discord offered, cutting her off. "Yes." Luna shook her head, clearing her mind. "Now where did you find the book?" "You'll be angry with me," he protested, putting on his best pouty face. "I don't think it's possible for me to get any angrier, Discord," she deadpanned. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you." He tried his best to look as innocent as possible. "I may or may not have trespassed on the Grounds of Forgotten Knowledge." He braced for impact. "Grounds of Forgotten Knowledge? Pray tell, what might that be?" Luna's eyes were filled with confusion. "You aren't making this up, are you?" "Perish the thought!" Discord exclaimed dramatically. This earned another glare from Luna. "No, seriously, I'm telling the truth. I may be a trickster, but I'm not a liar. I can't believe that you of all ponies don't know about it though, considering who created it." "And that would be?" A frown was plastered across her face. "Why, your sister, Luna," he answered. He let his statement sink in for a few moments before a dastardly smile appeared on his face. "She didn't tell you? How dreadful." "Cease this at once! I trust Celestia; either she has her reasons for not telling me of this place, or she simply forgot." Unfazed by his emotional prodding, she continued. "Now, how did you come across the accursed tome?" "I don't know," Discord said with a shrug. "You don't know," Luna couldn't help but deadpan again. "How could you not know?" "I don't know!" He repeated with a raised voice. He sighed. "I'm sorry. Look, the place is literally just an endless hallway filled with books. I have no idea how the organization system works, or if there even is one. I just had a feeling that I'd find what I was looking for if I went there, is all." "So you just by chance found the last copy—for all we know—of the book which contains the curse that fell my mother within an infinite space? That doesn't make any sense!" Her eyes widened at her last words. "Wait, don't you dare-" "And what fun is there in making sense?" He stuck out his tongue and smirked. "I guess I walked right into that," she groaned. "I suppose your chaotic abilities would allow for this kind of situation. It doesn't really matter. Anyway, you found the book. Then what?" "Well I went home and thought about how to implement what I thought was a temporary enchantment. Since it called for digestion-" "That didn't strike you as the least bit creepy?" Luna interjected, cutting him off. "Well I don't know, I assumed that since ponies created it, it would be fine to use on one," he muttered, shrugging defensively. "Discord." Luna gave him skeptical glare. "What? I get it, I messed up! I enchanted, er, cursed her hay fries, alright? Can we just get to the fixing part?" He sat up and crossed his arms. He already knew what he'd done was wrong; why did she have to keep bringing it up? "Well, like I said last night, there is no known cure." She paused, seemingly studying his face for a reaction. Discord suppressed a gulp. "But, that doesn't mean there isn't one at all," she finished. "I'm sure if we look at every detail, we can find some way to reverse the curse." Reverse the curse. Discord giggled under his breath. "You said you laid the curse upon her hayfries? What time of day was that?" Luna walked closer to the end of the bed, so as to be face to face with him. "And before you ask, yes, it does matter." "Well, it was lunch time. I'd say it was about one o'clock or so." He refused to wither under her glare. He remained sitting upright atop her bed, not looking away from the eyes locked onto his. "Does that help?" "When our mo-" She cleared her throat. "In the only recorded instance of the curse, it only took a few hours for it to take effect. Did Twilight seem... any different on your," Luna gagged, "date?" "No need to be rude," Discord sniffed. "But to answer your question, no, not really. I mean, she seemed to be enjoying herself, but it didn't seem unnatural." "So she was reacting positively?" She mulled over this a moment. "So she's probably taken the path of obsessive possession over you." "So...?" Discord felt his heart sink. "So yes, she didn't have any feelings for you whatsoever. Honestly, you don't exactly deserve a mare like her." "You don't need to remind me," he growled, arms re-crossed. "Well, at least you yourself will be safe, for the most part." Luna finally moved from her position at the end of the bed, and began pacing about her chambers. "She'll be dangerous, increasingly so as time progresses, toward anyone she deems a threat to you. Or to herself, concerning her chances with you." Discord shot her a confused look. What? "In other words, don't express any positive feelings toward others around her," she revised. "Alright, then," he grumbled. He supposed he shouldn't cause more harm than he already had. "The thing is, she wasn't just all 'cheery goody gumdrops' or anything." "What?" It looked as if Luna wasn't sure how much more she could take. "Well, you said if she was reacting positively, she would be ObsPos," he explained. "Ahbz Pahz?" "'Obsessive Possession'," he clarified with a roll of his eyes. "Anyway, she was being playful, teasing me, using her wits. She didn't really feel extremely positive to me." "Discord, I know you'd rather believe that she did have feelings for you, but-" "And I don't think she was 'out to get me', either. It seemed like... she was having fun." He said the last part quieter, as if he didn't quite believe it himself. "Look—what if she'd immune to it?" "I don't think anypony can be immune to a curse." Luna looked at him with stern eyes. "But she is the Princess of Magic... what if that-" "That's highly unlikely." Luna cut him off abruptly. "Our mother wasn't able to overcome the insidious thing. What makes you think a newly ascended alicorn could do any better?" Discord cringed. Obviously he had struck a cord. "Just spit-balling here," he said, paw and claw raised in surrender. "Look, what I'm saying is that she seemed like her same-old book loving self, is all. Perhaps I didn't cast it correctly, or it isn't even the same curse that you're thinking of." "You're not 'spit-balling', you're grasping at straws." Luna sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Celestia is quite adept at sensing spells and the like. She wouldn't let herself crumble like that for nothing, I assure you. Twilight Sparkle has been cursed, Discord, and you're the one who cursed her." "I-" He broke off into a sigh of his own. He still couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. Luna's gaze softened. "But," she began in a warmer tone, "it does sound as if she has kept some of her own will. We might be able to use this to our advantage." "How so?" Discord's ears perked up in hope of some sort of silver lining to the whole fiasco. "While reasoning with one who is cursed is futile, we may be able to stall the effects by stimulating complex thought-processes," Luna explained gently. "Now I don't want to get your hopes up, but if we give her something other than you to think about - perhaps an assignment or quest of some sort - we may be able to buy some time to find a way to dispel the curse." "I think I can do that," he said in a more serious tone. "I'd rather ask Celestia." Luna cringed. "But... I don't think she's in the right mind to be giving out any orders at the moment." She thought for a few moments. "I can contact her. I think it'd be best for you to stay away for a while, until I've properly assessed the situation." "What? How am I supposed to help if I can't even see her?" His voice rose a few octaves as he spoke. "Discord, you must understand. Seeing you could hasten the effects. In fact, we would be right to assume it will." Luna gave him a pitying look. "You know, I didn't believe you at first." "Believe what, exactly?" Discord raised an eyebrow. "When you came and asked for my help two days ago," she answered. "I thought it was a joke, or maybe a fleeting infatuation. But it seems like you really care about her..." she trailed off. Her stern gaze returned. "Or maybe you just feel guilty." "Well," he began with a huff. Now it was his turn to frown. "I can't say that I don't feel guilty. Only a heartless, wicked fool wouldn't feel guilty. Now I may be a fool, but I've changed, Luna. I... I really do want her to be alright." "Then do as I say without any questions." Every word rung with a certain finality. Luna's eyes were looking right into his, searching, calculating. "We will save Twilight, but only if we both put forth our full efforts." Discord nodded determinedly. "So you'll stay away from her until I say otherwise?" "I suppose so, if you really think that's best," he grumbled dejectedly. "Good. Now, go get some rest. It's been a long night, and it's already well into the morning. Come back in two days." Luna turned away and walked toward the door. "If you say so," he conceded. As soon as she was out of sight, Discord let his face fall into his folded arms. He'd really messed up this time. First with the beavers, then Tirek, then Tree Hugger, and now this... would he ever learn? "Maybe it really is best if I stay away," he thought aloud. "She never even liked me to begin with." He'd help cure her, and then he'd leave her alone, forever. It'd be better this way, he thought. He sat up suddenly, and let out a drawn-out sigh. And with a snap of his fingers, he was gone. Twilight Sparkle sat alone in her room, furiously jotting her plans down on paper. She knew she'd win in the end. She'd taste the sweet, sweet flavor of victory at last. She couldn't wait to grind her adversary into the ground. So why couldn't she get him out of her head?