• Published 5th Mar 2014
  • 2,583 Views, 82 Comments

Brony in Black - Gray Compass

Rescuing stupid humans from Equestria, and saving ponies from psychopaths. That's part of our job.

  • ...

The Twicanelyzer

Author's Note:

Hey, new chapter is out!

Good Reading.

- Pedro Hander

Brony in Black

Do you remember 9/11?

What a stupid question - Yes, I'm pretty sure everyone remembers that fateful day, when the World Trade Center collapsed after being struck by two hijacked planes. A couple of years later, the Freedom Tower was built over the same site.

I must admit, it was a great example of overcoming. The tower (and the whole new world trade center complex) is there for almost a decade, and it still the largest building in America.

However, what people weren't allowed to know, was that besides the WTC complex, another complex was built - or better - dug, right under the tower foundations.

Deep below Manhattan busy streets, lies the Pony Mesa compound. Built around the first decade of 21st century, it was originally projected to serve as an appendix for MIB facility, but after the LHC incident the whole place was changed in order to house a new branch of Men in Black.

Yeah... And that would explain why I've found myself locked inside a janitor closet, at Freedom Tower basement.

"Ouch!" I cringed, as a sightly large bucket fell over my head.

"Dammit Jay! Did you had to use the emergency ejection system?" I threw the bucket on the ground. I probably shouldn't be complaining though, it was this or the flush.

"Well S, this is an emergency isn't it?" Light filled the small dusty room, as J2 turned on the flashlight. "Now, if you excuse me..." With a single kick, the agent knocked down the door, some brooms and squeegees fell around us as we made our way out of that place.

And I felt like Harry Potter...

For our own luck the basement was empty, otherwise, this would be hard to explain. Well, maybe not that hard... In fact, I really doubt someone would notice our presence.

Since we made contact, a bunch of benefits were given to us of the Equestrian Security. To the envy of MIB agents, we received plenty of magical augments to our equipment, as well many other mystical objects to ease our job with Equestrian creatures.

Whereas earth doesn't appears to have any magic, it does exist and can be used; our world is capable of produce magic, but almost no human is able to utilize it properly. And that's where our special stuff come into play; a good example of it was my suit.

No, it wasn't invisible if you're wondering - the enchantment wouldn't make us look like a ghost, but it would certainly make our bodies almost unnoticeable.

'How the hell can you be unnoticeable, without being invisible?' You may ask me.

Well, that's quite simple; people were still able to see us - but wouldn't pay any attention to the strange looking guys, on weird clothes and bizarre weapons over their backs.

Unless we spoke, or touched them.

But we're not here to talk about magical suits, are we? I guess not.

After I found a way out of that basement, we crossed the bustling courtyard of the building and as expected, no one gave a damn about our presence. If the instructions were right, the car should be awaiting for us.

"Here it is!" I spotted the vehicle. Oh, the old 1987 Crown Victoria; surely more than the eye can see. I went on the passenger seat as my partner handed me that weird weapon.

"Put this on the backseat, I've brought it just in case. You never know when a situation will need a bigger gun - in special when we're talking about Lyra Heartstrings"

"Who's this pony you're talking about?" I asked "And for God's sake man, can you tell me what's happening here?"

He started the car and left. "Well, she's a unicorn..." His voice sounded irritated. "A very problematic one."

"You said she's on earth again... How- I mean, seriously J2, you're making it sound as if Lyra is some kind of devilish unicorn, with fangs and stuff like that." I sarcastically said "She's not a changeling... Is she?"

My partner just sighed. "No, she's not a changeling.Don't you dare to mention that probability again! please." He frowned " This is the third time I'm dealing with her - I was forced to erase the memory of an entire city once, and also prevented her from harassing a senator. Two times."

"Lyra is not a joke agent S. When we finally captured her, the damage was already done." The agent shook his head disappointedly. "Her own memory was erased two times, and you know what they say out there-"

"Every time the memory is modified, the subject becomes 25% crazier" We spoke in unison.

"Gee, that's terrible J2..." What a great mission for your first day - find a mentally ill unicorn. Mommy would be so proud.

As we approached Central Park, its surroundings seemed unusually crowded, not by common visitors and their cameras, but by dozens of police officers and the anti-bomb squad.

Not a good sign - I thought.

"I'm starting to guess this agglomeration has something to do with Heartstrings' presence... Am I mistaken?" Several of those live news trucks were parked at the entrances, obscuring most of the view.

"Yes, and no. MIB agents have disclosed a false bomb threat, and now the police is investigating. It keeps them busy while we do our work."

We parked the car on a less crowded road, I got my equipment and left. Dodging from a group of hurried pedestrians, we headed to the area in which some Men in Black agents should be waiting for us.

Two peculiar men dressed exactly as us, waved from a nearby part of the park. There was a small group of ladies talking to them - which from the look stamped in their faces, were probably affected by Lyra...

"Agent J... 2." An old, grizzled men shook his hand. "Long time since we met huh? And It looks like you've finally got a new partner- You know, I still remember what happened to that guy... God rest his soul."


"Erm... It's a g-great honor to meet you agent K, I'm S." I managed to say, after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

"Oh, the honor is all mine, son." He smiled. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll last longer than poor agent L."

"Yeah... That's what I'm planning."

Agent K was a practically living legend of the MIB, he's been working with them for like... forever? This way, in the meantime, K witnessed most of the weirdest cases that have ever come to our attention.

"And you must be J!" I greeted the agent by his side.

"Yeah, that's me! Nice to meet you, man, welcome to hell- to the corporation." He chuckled

"So, greetings aside- what do we've got here today, J?" J2 asked.

"Oh yeah- of course; the control center just informed us that those gentle ladies over there witnessed some weird stuff, but as we got here to check the situation, and listened to their testimony- I couldn't help but notice that it was your jurisdiction thing. If ya' know what I mean."

"Yes, we believe that it is." I scratched my neck.

"Very well then, if you don't mind gentlemen, we have some important matters to deal with - So... They're all yours." Agent K patted my shoulder.

"I would highly recommend using it." He whispered, pointing to the lump under my coat. I nodded. "It was nice to see you again J2, you too S. Until next time." With that, they just left us with four women to talk and a unicorn to find.

"Okay... Why don't you ladies come with us over here, so we can talk, and maybe solve this problem?" J2 led them to a nearby bench.

"Now, who wants to explain what really happened here?" They just stared at us with blank expressions.

"G-green." A mid-forties woman muttered.

"I- I'm sorry, but what?"

"It was a green... Thing- It j-just - dear god, I was just having a picnic with my friends, and it jumped over our table... Screaming and-" She burst into tears, her friend placed an arm around her shoulder.

"Don't worry ma'am, we're here to help. But we need as much information as possible."

She sobbed " I- I don't know w-what was that! I have never - in my entire life seen s-such a monstrosity! It looked like a small- Jesus Christ... I don't even know how to describe it, maybe a dog, o-or some kind of horse." She wiped her eyes.

"It was talking about... Our fingers- I was so scared." Said another woman, this one seemed to be in some kind of post traumatic stage.

"Did the creature tried to hurt you?" J2 inquired.

"N-no, but it tried to put its repulsive muzzle on my fingers! I tried to escape, but she- I suppose it was a she, held my body in place with some kind of- s-some kind of energy field."

"I thought I would die!" She collapsed into tears again.

I looked to J2 - J2 looked at me, and we both nodded; those poor ladies were terrified, and we simply couldn't let them leave in such deplorable conditions.

We put on our sunglasses, as I searched for 'it' in my jacket pocket.

All hail the Twicanelyzer! Such a masterpiece of technology and magic inside a single object. Unlike MIB Neuralyzers, this one is way much better - as an enchanted equipment, the Twicanelyzer can perform far more than memory wiping sections.

"Ladies, this is very important. I'll need all of your attention for a bit. Won't be long, I promise." I lifted the cane and pointed Princess Twilight's head at them.

Only a rainbow flash of light later, and I had a small group of completely stunned people, staring at my face.

"Good..." I placed the cane back on my suit. "Now listen to me: You was having a picnic with your friends, when a policeman approached, and said there was a bomb alert and unfortunately, you all had to leave Central Park- Oh, and a K-9 tried to lick your fingers, but it was nothing really disturbing."

"Good job." J2 whispered.

Well, that was easier than I thought...

I should have kept my mouth shut.

The picnic girls finally left, but now there was a magical pony hiding somewhere into the Central Park. And to make things worse, we couldn't get any help from the police.

You know; fugitive alien horses and etc... It was one o'clock, my stomach rumbled - and my day was just beginning.