• Member Since 11th May, 2012
  • offline last seen July 9th


A guy with too much time on his hands. Enjoys writing and over-analyzing things.


Maud Pie has studied rocks. She has written poetry about rocks. She has played games with rocks. She has spent great amounts of time among rocks. But she has never been a rock, and now she intends to change that.

But will petrification be all it's cracked up to be?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 93 )

This... This is the greatest.

That was great. Surprisingly sweet, considering it was about rocks.

I love it. Very nice use of cockatrice.

Pyriel #4 · Apr 7th, 2014 · · 1 ·


This is exactly the reason I follow you, Teeth.

This is great.

Rock --> Maud
Hard Place -->Cocka--

Damn it. That was awesome. It rocked.

Character captured: Check!

I'm waiting for the crack ship maud x cockatrice

Now I want to see pet Cragadiles.:pinkiesad2:

To answer your question, I think that it could qualify as a comedy.
You really did a great job capturing Maud's essence.

Brilliant piece of SoL. You did capture Maud quite nicely, as well as her interactions with Pinkie. Props to you on that, Teeth.
And yes, I'd add a comedy tag. It's subtle, yet hilarious. My favorite kind.


This happened.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Bravo. Another awesome piece.:pinkiehappy:

4199788 Alright then. Comedy tag added.

Also, thanks everybody. :pinkiehappy:

(I knew that I'd get a bunch of rock puns...)

Headcanon aquired: you can bribe cockatrices with chickenfeed.

It was only a matter of time. :pinkiehappy:

"And then she was totally stoned."
What was she on?

This story rocked. :pinkiehappy:

Wow, that was very well done! I enjoy reading it alot!

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, Pinkie Pie's sister Maud turned into a rock. She achieved Rockvana. I guess.

Your Bewildered Student,
Twilight Sparkle

This may have rocked, but it's still best enjoyed stoned.


You already used those puns?

Goddamn it, JapaneseTeeth, I love you like any man loves an incredibly talented stranger, but you're starting something with me here.

It was a crock of rock schlock with a cockatrice jock who chocked it as a chance to sock and mock whilst Shy was shocked, Twi suggested a doc but Pie took stock and said "Don't knock it" and something, something wok, (darn writer's block) until they ran down the clock.


Maude was in aplite. The cockatrice bassault felt hawaiite. Twi didn't want this to be her enderbite the dust. Pinkie Pie was taconite for granite, though, that Maude was tuff enough to handle what it felsite*, as Fluttershy counted the minettes.

Works as feels like with an Australian drawl, your accent may vary.

It was pretty good. Only one thing ...

Unless Pinkie was kidding, "igneous" is one sort of rock she should be able to remember.

It's her father's name.


Also, do you guys think there's enough comedic content in this story to qualify it as a comedy?

I'm pretty sure all Maud stories have to have the comedy tag. It's practically a law.

Great to finally see this up! I will admit to not caring much for Maud initially on the show (we already knew Pinkie's family is a lot more low-key than she is so it felt redundant and one-note to me), but this really works. Deadpan + crazy plan = :rainbowlaugh:

4201816 True, thought it's never been mentioned in the show, proper. Also, I find the idea that Pinkie thinks her dad's name is "Ignatius" amusing. :pinkiecrazy:

4201752 The puns! :raritydespair:

inb4 erotic petrification :trollestia:

“Wolpertinger! That’s like the best name for a winged, horned, squirrel-tailed, fanged rabbit ever!”

I've only ever heard of Wolpertingers in "Rumo and his miraculous adventures" and "The thirteen and a half lives of Captain Bluebear", so this sentence ended very differently to how I imagined it would. Also, aww, for a minute I thought other people had heard of the books :(

4202266 Maud, while being petrified: It appears as though the intense eroticism I fantasized about has caused me to experience clim-... no, wait. My plot's petrified now. The sensation is gone.


Eh. It could be better. It wasn't as good as I thought it would be. :pinkiesad2:

Maud Pie totally dominates this one-shot. :3

4200093 You mean there are people who can't be bribed with chicken feed?

Loooved this at the beginning, then it kinda pettered out once Twi showed up. Still! Love the idea, and loved Maud.

Yet another one-shot written like an episode...fine by me! Great job!

this story rocked! *ba dum tss*:facehoof::ajbemused: no really i enjoyed it!:twilightblush:

This story rocked!:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy: Yay for Tom and Maud!:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:
Misty Berry

"The only natural response was to take her books and studying outside."

Take her books and "studying"?

I think you mean "take her books and study"

the veterinarian himself

Wasn't the vet a mare?

She wasn’t one for snark, but the thought, “You already are a rock”

You know it's bad when you are making Fluttershy want to resort to snarking.

“It won’t take too long. Geologically speaking, at least.


“I…” Fluttershy sighed. “I’ll get my hat.”

:rainbowhuh: Huh? Her hat?

“I’d never seen a manticore before,” Maud said as she trotted out of the forest. Her dress was rather tattered, and a mixture of twigs, leaves, and feathers protruded from her now-disheveled mane and tail. “Or an Ursa Major.”

.... oh you little story tease! making us miss those epic fights. :twilightsmile:

but I never saw a Chupacabra in there before! Or a Strix! Or a Chimera! Or a Wolpertinger.”

.... and it gets better. The most epic of awesome adventures, all off screen. I should hate you for the teasing but but... just can't. Nice job.

Things I Really Really Really Don’t Want To Do Right Now, sitting between taking Harry the Bear to see the dentist, and performing the halftime show at the next Best Young Flyers competition.

Now the question is, which of those two does she hate more?

“I’m just glad we managed to get away from that Tarasque. They can be a bit ornery when you wake them up from their naps.”

:pinkiegasp: Now it's getting absurd, but still hilarious.

“Yes, I’m very excited,” Maud said. “The last time I was so excited was when I got my license to own a cragadile.”

“Oh,” Fluttershy mumbled. Then she stopped. “Wait, you have a pet cragadile?!”

“Two of them, actually,” Maud said. “Their names are Jasper and Jade.”

“But… but how… how did you even—”

I'm with Fluttershy on this one.. and yet.. I can't say I'm really surprised.

The day was far too nice to spend cooped up inside studying all afternoon. The only natural response was to take her books and studying outside.

Was about to call shenanigans on Twilight deciding any day was to nice to study through. But.. yup that's Twilight.

That meant that Pinkie would almost certainly be too distracted to be a distraction.

Hmmm sound logic.

Twilight turned to Maud, and groaned. “Fluttershy, why is Maud made of stone?”

Well this should be interesting to explain... though at first thought it would go with Twilight, or anypony really, even realizing that Maud was stone now. Would have been rather hilarious.

“Have you met my sister?” Pinkie said through a mouthful of crumpets. “Why wouldn’t she be made of stone?”

..... well cant fault her logic on that one.

“Two hours, thirty six minutes, and forty-three sec… wait. It’s forty-two seconds now. Forty-one. Forty—”

Damnit need to learn not to eat while reading these things. Almost sprayed crumbs on my monitor.

“She’ll be crushed! I can’t let that happen. There’s only one thing I can do!”

“It’s a party, isn’t it?” Fluttershy said, half to herself.

“IT’S A P—” Pinkie grinned and nodded at Fluttershy. “Exactly!”

They know her to well.

“You would think that, but no!” Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “I have something much better planned.”

This cannot end well.

It’s just a pity that Petra couldn’t make it. Although she’s, you know, a mountain. So if we wanted her to be there we’d have to move the whole party.”

I kind of want to know.. but at the same time I'm to afraid to ask.

I used to, but then I moved to Ponyville and started working in a bakery, and all my rock knowledge got replaced with cake recipes!

Sounds legit.

And if rocks make my sister happy, then I’m going to throw rocks at… uh... wait a sec.” She stopped to reorganize her thoughts. Then she thrust her hoof in the air triumphantly. “I’m going to throw her a party with rocks!”


“I might be off-kilter, eccentric, odd, wacky, wonky, weird, bizarre, and quirky, but I’m not crazy! Well, maybe I’m a little crazy, but not that kind of crazy!”


“But why?” Maud asked. “Besides Pinkie being Pinkie.”

Even her sister knows that's the first response to pinkie's craziness.

Well hat was another great little stry. And yes more then enough to qualify as comedy.

What else to say but, yet another highly amusing and well done story. Characters all felt like, well themselves. tons of tony little things. Yeah great story once again.

That was rather fun.
Now excuse me, I'm going to write a clopfic between Maud and Tom.

4207485 This hat:


4207484 Funny story about that: the original draft actually said that, and one of my prereaders got confused, so I changed it to "studying" as in "the process of studying" (i.e. "she would take her studying outside). Either way, somebody was bound to get tripped up. :rainbowwild:

4207761 when the fuck did that happen

4208053 It's from the beginning of "Three's a Crowd."

I don't think we should take for granite how much this story rocks. It isn't all cobblestoned together at the last minute. Still, let's not get sedimental about it. :rainbowwild:


Ah. Well then, how about "Take her books and go study outside"?

A comma can fix such confusions. :rainbowwild:

"Take her x and y outside." = She takes both x and y outside

"Take her x, and y outside." = She takes her x, and does y outside.

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