Scootaloo's life has always been shrouded in mystery. She lives in her house in Ponyville alone. She often disappears with no explanation. And no one's ever seen her parents.
She keeps it that way deliberately. She likes her normal life in Ponyville, and has held on to it as much as she can.
However, a personal tragedy brings family responsibility down on her shoulders, and her life is about to spiral out of control.
Thankfully, she has quite a bit of help keeping both her lives stable - and separate - as much as possible...
...a dragon chef who can't make a salad without making it flambe...
...a cripplingly far-sighted ex-assassin hippogryph maid...
...a slim built minotaur gardener who is as innocent as he is unexpectedly strong...
...a mechanical golem head servant whose brain runs - badly - on hot tea...
...and one devil of a butler.

Edit: New Cover Art by ProfessorCatPro
Edit 2: New fan art by slyfoxcub.

Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Ruler of the Shivering Isles. Crafter of dangerously unstable magical artifacts. Cheese aficionado. A lonely old man.

Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. Once Ruler of Equestria. Master of unraveling reality. Maker of cotton candy clouds filled with chocolate rain. For some reason an infant.

Now read of this pair as Father and Son.

...abandon Logic, all ye who enter here.

Part of the PWNY-verse.
New cover image by ProfessorCatPro

Whether they're pony or human, girls have one thing in common:

They talk.

They talk about life, they talk about love, they talk about each other. They talk about the weather, they talk about movies and music, they talk about the enormous magical disasters that threaten their world.

Whether they're pony or human, girls get together and they talk. And this is what they say.

A collection of short stories that may take place either in the Equestria Girls universe or the main Friendship is Magic universe.

This story is a sequel to Changeling Courtship Rituals

Queen Chrysalis attacked Canterlot, brainwashed Twilight Sparkle's brother, kidnapped her former foalsitter, defeated her mentor in combat, and conquered her kingdom. She kidnapped the sisters of Twilight's friends, turned them against one another, and tried to drain all of Twilight's magic. Queen Chrysalis has, at every opportunity, done her very best to utterly destroy Twilight Sparkle's life.

For some reason, this has not caused the pony to fall in love with her.

However, due to Twilight's misunderstanding of changeling customs, it does mean they are now married. Twilight eventually managed to tell the Queen the truth, but she forgot that whether it's a kingdom or a heart, changelings conquer.

And since the changeling way of conquest didn't work, Chrysalis is determined to try the pony way. The only problem is, of course, she has no idea what that is. But she knows someone who does: Princess Cadance.

Now, with the absolutely sincere help of her mortal enemy, the pony she once locked in the caves beneath Canterlot while trying to steal her husband on their very wedding day, Queen Chrysalis is going to woo the sister-in-law of that very pony.

Surely this is the most perfect plan ever devised.

***

Proofread by ShutterflyYay.

Takes place roughly after season five (so Starlight Glimmer is running around occasionally)

Queen Chrysalis likes it when I boop her on the nose. It helps her relax. However, one day, Princess Twilight Sparkle bursts in, thinking that Queen Chrysalis has put a spell on me.

Surely, when I explain to her that I boop her, she'll understand. Right?

Right?

Inspired by a delightful flash game that can be found here.

Featured on August 28th, 2016. This is as unexpected as it is amazing.

Nightmare Moon won. She defeated Celestia, broke the Elements, banished the sun. This all happened a very long time ago. So long ago, that she has had plenty of time to change her mind.

Of course, fixing our mistakes is never so simple, and never without consequences. Even with particularly potent help.

"If you came to conquer, you'll be king for a day. / But you too will deteriorate and quickly fade away."
— "No Control" by Bad Religion

A big thanks to Craine, Sorren, and Idylia for prereading and editing. If you enjoyed the story, don't forget to check out their pages.

Equestria Daily
Royal Canterlot Library (FIMfic version)
Russian translation by Doof
Chinese translation by Dreams Set Free

Kitsune Heart has done a dramatic reading of this story! Find it over here.
ObabScribbler has done a dramatic reading of this story! It includes a full cast of voice actors. Find it over here.

Comments contain spoilers.

Every week, Equestria's princesses take a break from ruling their kingdom and discuss life. Usually over coffee.

Here are their assorted conversations.

Cover art by Grennadder. The story is marked complete because it's not a writing priority of mine, more a palette cleanser I come back to between harder projects

Celestia and Scootaloo are homeless in a Ponyville alleyway together. They like to talk about things.

These are the things they talk about.

Note: The crayon scribbles of a plot is done, but the ride never ends story still updates.

Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is famous across Equestria as a center of academic excellence. Only the best and brightest unicorns are offered places, selected by their academic merit, magical ability and passion for study. To make the admissions process as fair and reliable as possible, all candidates are given three exams by different teams of examiners, who then meet in private to decide which students are most deserving of a place.

Winner of the December 2014 Writeoff competition: Behind Closed Doors.

One month, they said. One month completely to themselves. One month of talking to one another, cuddling with one another, going on walks with one another, and living together. One month of sharing breakfast, sharing beds, sharing stories, and sharing sweet talk.

One month, they agreed on, and after the thirty days had gone by... if they were still as madly in love with each other as the day they first kissed... then they would share the joy of their relationship with their friends.