"Scootaloo!" Nopony busted through Scootaloo's bedroom window wearing a Santa Claws outfit.
"Ah!" Scootaloo shot out of bed. "What the-"
"Someone's been a naughty filly this year." He growled.
"Not again Daddy!"
...
"Did you have to make it weird?" Nopony sighed.
"Did you have to break my window?"
"I can buy you another window."
"You can buy yourself therapy." Scootaloo climbed back in bed.
"Scootaloo, it's Hearth's Warming Eve." Nopony frowned. "Where's your holiday spirit?"
"Look, unless there's a giant Hearth's Warming tree surrounded by presents outside my window for no rea- oh great you moved our shed where I stored my scooter to who knows where, awesome..." Scootaloo grumbled as she climbed out the window.
"Scroogeloo, pull that candy cane out of your butt and grab a present box!"
Scootaloo harrumphed as she grabbed the biggest box with her name on it. Not being able to stay mad at Nopony, she smiled as she ripped open the box.
And found a solar panel in it.
"What the heck?" Scootaloo complained.
"It's a lot more economical than coal, also the sun is just better." Nopony replied.
"Jokes on you I have free electricity now."
"Jokes on you I supply your every need anywa..." Nopony trailed off.
Scootaloo chuckled as she grabbed the next present, it was coal shaped lump covered in wrapping. She promptly threw it over her shoulder and grabbed the next gift. Seeing it shaped like a box, Scootaloo tore into it.
Inside it was coal.
"Oh come on!"
"Now you won't be cold during Winter while you live in a box!" Nopony cheered.
"I don't live in a box anymore, you bought me a house!"
"Happy Hearth's Warming!" Nopony threw up his hooves.
"Uuuuuugh!" Scootaloo facehoofed. "How would I light this coal on fire anyway if I was still homeless?"
"Scootaloo, I have no doubt in mind that if you were left alone in a sealed empty room for five minutes you'd somehow find a way to set it on fire."
"Oh ye of too much faith." Scootaloo grabbed another present.
Inside it was a scooter made of coal.
Scootaloo blinked "Does this thing actually work?" Scootaloo scooted forward a bit. "Celestia's autism this actually works."
"Did you just call me disabled?"
"I'm gonna ride around inside the house for bit!" Scootaloo raced towards the house.
"You might break something!" Nopony yelled after her.
"That's what makes it fun!"
Nopony rolled his eyes and and looked back at the giant tree. Now that he finished teasing her, he teleported to the where the shed was, and pulled out a hidden stash of real presents. Imagining Scootaloo's face upon opening them, Nopony gently smiled as he teleported back.
The house was on fire.
7820004 SHIT
As expected.
Short but masterfully crafted. Filled with holiday spirit.
was he smiling BECAUSE the house was on fire, or UNTIL the house was on fire?
Scoots calling Celestia retarded was the best thing ever. I loved that part so much.
I really wish people would stop using autism as a byword for stupid. It's inaccurate, insulting, demeaning and infuriating. You can say it's just a phrase all you like, but what I hear when you say that is you have no respect for a significant portion of the population.
Why, yes, I am triggered, how could you tell?
Funny bit about solar panels, to produce it one needs a lot of energy which means a lot of, say, coal. So if the goal is not to just mess with Scoots, it may be better to just buy this much coal.
7820273 I could tell because you posted that on a shitposting story where nobody fucking cares.
7820273 I find your post funny because you got all up in arms about the autism but completely missed out on the mental retardation, then gabbed on about "significant portion"s of the population despite retardation being about twice as common as autism.
I mean, can't you at least be offended by all the offensive stuff?
Try harder next time, mate.
7820154
I'd go with until he saw the fire. He was smiling because he was imagining the look on Scootaloo's face after he comes back with the real presents. The story ends immediately once he teleports back and sees the fire. His initial smiling has nothing to do with the house being on fire.
Ok weird that this didn't pop up as having a new chapter but nice to see the humor is strong with this one.
That's what happens when you give a scooter made of coal to a pegasus and make the brakes out of flintstone.
This. This is beautiful. It captures perfectly the feeling of the date. I wish I could fave it again!
That ending
Everything I touch burns. Nice to know that I'm not the only one with this problem.
7820363
I think I'm allowed to be slightly annoyed when people start making negative connotations about a neurological condition which I happen to have.
7820329
They clearly don't, no. I wonder if this post will get downvoted too.
I actually have autism and that joke offended me.
...
Still funny tho.
Hehe.
7821458 Autism is a mental disorder. By definition, it is a condition that impairs your ability to function in society. Spoiler alert: Autism is a bad thing.
It's not good, it's not neutral. It's bad.
People aren't going to "start" making negative connotations, because the concept described is already negative.
7821674
How closely involved are you with people who have autism?
I'm going to guess not very, in which case you are very poorly educated on the subject.
We aren't stupid, we aren't disabled, we just have different competencies. The average person is better at social interaction, but autistic people are better suited to acquiring in-depth knowledge of any particular subject.
It's not good, it's not bad. It's different.
7821757
I have aspergers. It's a joke. I'm not offended by it because I know it's a joke.
You'll get over it.
7821895
Yes, I know.
The distinction between banter and bullying is a fine line. I suppose everybody has their own opinions on how much is too much.
I've just had enough is all.
Nothing ever changes if you sit quietly and take it.
7821932
Eh. It's a battle I don't find worth bothering with. I've got bigger things to worry about in my life. Work, family, and enjoying life are just a few of those things.
Pack up the Internet and cancel the show. The fandom has a winner and we can all go home now.
You had me at Celestia's autism.
I have autism and I found it funny.
oh I needed this hearty laugh . Thank you kind Sir . may I please have another
Still funny
R.I.P house.
7822468 I have it too, was offended at first, then just said 'whatever, it's not like it was meant to be offensive' and smiled about the rest of the chapter. Where's the fun in being offended anyway?
This is still the best thing ever
Still got it as this made me laugh my ass off as usual.
Happy New Years everyone
Funny as always!
7940865 35 weeks early, apparently.
can't believe I missed this chapter when it came out but this
is the hardest I've ever laughed at this story. Jesus Christ I'm totally stealing that.
What the hell?!? Why didn't this show up in my watched file weeks ago?? I call shenanigans!!
NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES OH MY GOD.
Dear Luna, I love Nopony. I'm so glad you wrote this alter ego.This is rich!
OMG! My sides hurt !
These sentences felt awkward to read as someone who has autism (aspergers)...
She didn't call you dumb... if she knows what that word means, since you clearly don't, Celestia.
She is calling you odd though.
Just... perfection, and gg Scoots, you set your new house on fire.
good lawdy
omg stappppp, wait no don't you ever sotp
I want to know how the fire started.
9445102
The coal scooter
9445102
Friction from the wheels. =P That's my bet anyway!
8075354
I like how this comment made the author edit it to go from retarded to disabled.