"Nopony! Nopony wake up!"
"Mmm?.. Scootaloo, it's 2:00 AM, what's wrong?"
"Nopony, I'm bleeding!"
"Bleeding? Where?"
"Here!"
"Oh, OH. Oh crap, I did NOT want to be here for when this started..."
"What's wrong with me?" Scootaloo sniffed.
"You're uh, you're... Ugh, let's get you cleaned up first..."
"Okay uh, Scootaloo."
"Y- yeah?"
"Your body is... well..."
Nopony closed his eyes.
"Okay, kid, I want you to imagine a town."
"Alright."
"And your body is that town."
"Uh..."
"Your head, is the library, and your mouth, is the radio tower."
"Oh! Okay, I'm getting it."
"And between your legs, is the garbage dump."
"Ew!"
"And for some reason, they decided to build the amusement park on top of the garbage dump."
Scootaloo blinked.
"What."
"Things are gonna get just a little bit confusing from here on out." Nopony gave a sheepish grin.
"Uhh-"
"So, little kids go near the amusement park, and they say 'this is dumb! Why would I go to a place covered in trash?' and all the teenager ponies think it's amazing and they take all their marefriends and coltfriends there with them."
"Why would they want to take their special someponies-"
"Shush, I'm uh, I'm getting there." Nopony averted his eyes. "Okay, so, uh, the pony who takes your money and hands out tickets says it's free to go on the rides as much as you want, and everypony loves it."
"I'm confused, why in the heck would Celestia ever make the body-"
"DON'T YOU BLAME THIS ON M- I mean uh, nopony knows why."
"You do?"
"No! I mean, ugh! Stop interrupting!"
"O- okay..."
"So all the teenagers laaaaugh and plaaaay all day long at the amusement park, and then as they're leaving, the ticket booth pony hands the couple a baby and says no refunds."
Scootaloo blinked, again.
"And that's why you don't go play on the amusement park until you're married! Any questions?"
Scootaloo frowned, deep in thought.
"So..." Scootaloo rubbed her chin with her hoof. "If the amusement park was built on top of the dump, couldn't I sneak in through the dump, play on the park, and sneak back out through the dump without a baby?"
Nopony slowly performed a double facehoof.
"Nopony, are you okay? Nopony?.."