"But why are we going to Ponyville?" Luna moaned, swirling a forkful of crepe in her syrup. "I don't wanna!"
"Luna, stop whining!" Celestia nearly barked. "You're a princess, for heavens sake."
"Which is why I should have a say in my affairs! If I don't wish to go to Ponyville, I will not be going to Ponyville."
"Trust me on this one, Luna. The Ponyville Pie Contest needs a judge and I'll be damned if I'm not going to be the one. And I need you to come along because I will be too busy elegantly gorging myself to accurately judge the pies to find the best tasting one."
"Geez Auntie." Cadance looked down from her magazine and whistled in admiration. "Even your gluttonous outbursts are organized and dignified."
"Of course." Celestia waved a hoof. "Again, trust me, Luna. Their pies are of a holy level of quality."
"Fine," Luna grumbled, finally pushing her unfinished plate of crepes away from her. "But I'm flying myself."
"Oh?" Celestia cocked her head. "But I was going to take the chariot. The poor harness guards have been repeatedly pestering me as to when I plan on travelling far. I think they are anxious to stretch their wings."
"I don't like the chariot," Luna muttered. "Excessive affair. Always moving too slow for my liking, guards always waving union contracts at me when I overuse the whip. Heck, Cadance is on my side, right? She ditched her own chariot!"
"I did not!" Cadance protested.
"I've never seen you use it," Luna said, frowning.
"I have.. uh, reasons. But I definitely have one."
"She definitely does," Celestia confirmed. "It was a birthday present from me. Painted oak trim, polished azure velvet seats... it's one hell of a chariot."
"It was," Cadance agreed.
"Wait," Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Was?"
"Is!" Cadance screeched. "It is a hell of a chariot!"
Celestia narrowed her eyes further, setting down her tea slowly.
"It's... uh, getting repairs right now. But I assure you it still exists in one piece."
"Getting repairs."
"Yes! The transmission, I believe."
"Transmission." Celestia repeated, frowning. "Cadance. It's a chariot."
"Alright, fine!" Cadance threw her hooves up. "It was a DUI! I got a DUI! Nopony was hurt, but... well, that's why you never see me with my chariot."
Silence.
"A DUI," Celestia repeated. "In your chariot."
"You're awfully repetitive today, sister," Luna said. "Do you need to get your hearing checked? Frankly, I'm surprised Cadance didn't mention it sooner. It was quite the impressive explosion!"
More silence.
"Please stop talking, Luna," Cadance moaned, bringing a hoof to the bridge of her snout.
"No, start talking, Cadance," Celestia said. "I wish to hear how you managed to improperly pilot an unpiloted vehicle."
Always keep your answers short and to the point; the longer you keep your mouth open the more likely something you don't want to come out will.
It makes me wonder about Twilight's, if she has one. I mean all she has is a balloon something not fit for somepony like her.
Nope, I'm not reading any more fanfiction tonight. Something this hilarious doesn't deserve to be buried beneath other quality work.
You should do a chapter with them debating wether or not coffee (which is made from a berry) can be classified as a tea.
Yes please start talking Cadance I want to hear this story.
lol
I too would like to hear how you can drunk drive a chariot pulled by guard ponies.
I want this. This needs to be a story.
Other than that, yet another funny chapter.
please, I want to hear how Cadance improperly pilot an unpiloted vehicle
CADENCE!! head and eyes straight forward quick yes and no responses until you figure out what your being accused of!!!
i feel like that would make for an interesting chapter.
Can you make the chariot story a chapter or a seprate one-off story.
*
Yes someone should write a short story about this. Just a one shot maybe even a two shot. I have been assured by reliable sources** that this idea is approved by the Lord of Chaos himself, Discord
*I really wish you would have gone into detail with this.
**I don't really have any I just be trollin' like
Have a good one.
-BFBL
totally because of the chapter title
ALSO: "Would you buck me? l'd buck me....
Hmm... I look forward to exploring this further...
i kind of wish this chapter was longer... cadance got some 'splainin to do (and possibly some guards to bribe)
I want to know, too--though honestly, it's probably a lot funnier in speculation than it actually was. Cadence is digging her own grave with this one.
7428568
They were flying over you.... and now they're diving ...
...
That's an impressive explosion.
BAHAHAHA now that's funny.
I definitely want to read that story!
Cadence? Methinks you got some 'splaining to do.
THIS IS FUCKING GREAT
Gluttony! Why did I never think of making a chapter about her gluttony?!
Well another almost perfect (because there is no perfection) chapter. You are becoming quite impressive
this story is a bloody inspiration GOLD MINE!
I'm just going to echo the crowd here and ask if we're going to hear Cadance's explanation. I am certainly confused...
Oh ho ho! THAT is a story I'd LOVE to hear, Princess....
When Cadance was getting all shifty about her chariot, I was so sure that it was because she and Shining had previously performed some very, uh, strenuous exercises together on it.
Guess that must've been from a different story.
And I bet it started with the traditional statement
Cadence: "Guards, hold my beer I'm gonna do something awesome."
I'm very disappointed in you, Cadence. I'm going to have to punish you. I'm exiling you to the frozen north to rule over a bunch of ponies recovering from PTSD in a city made of crystal which is really cold in already cold temperature.
Cadence: Auntie, that's not a punishment. That's my life.
a pony lawyer walks over and sets a pile of papers in front of cadence * miss cadenza im the repersenitive of a mr no pony hes suing your for hes hospital bill ( somepony had to do this gag)
HOW!?
She is a barbe princess. She can get another chariot. And Luna, she just needs to find the right stallions to whip. The ones who like it...
Hehehehehe XD This is one hell of a place to leave off, hahahaha
Nicely done man!
Can't wait to see more!
Hehehehehe XD This is one hell of a place to leave off, hahahaha
Nicely done man!
Can't wait to see more!
7428357 Twilight got a chariot at the end of Magical Mystery Cure.
7429858 There should definitely be a chapter in which a lawyer shows up in the middle of their conversation.
7428426 She was drunk and was showing the guards how to pull it better and faster Alicorn style.
7434657
very
7428426 When the Princess drinks, everypony drinks!
7448270
Hey, if they're paying then why not? Let the booze flow!
Hilarious!
Why don't you want to go to Ponyville exactly? Twilight and all her friends live there. plus, they havethe best pastries. Also, give me the crepe.
Really Luna? Just...just really? *sigh*
...You've got to be kidding me. This is why you're dragging your sister down here? She clearly doesn't want to go, and it's not even that important! Plus, you're hogging the opportunity from a ton of other ponies.
...why? How?! WHAT!? CADANCE YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT!!!!
"It went down hill after I first saw Flurry Heart."
...what?!
This side joke here cracked me up. The image of an out-of-touch Luna literally using a whip on the guards pulling her chariot instead of just saying "go" is hilarious.
i too would be interested in how one gets a DUI in a chariot. not to mention the strangeness of horse-powered craft in a world of sapient horses.
Lmao
Leave it to Cadance to some how get a DUI in a chariot