//------------------------------// // Poisoning Pigeons in the Park // Story: Order and Chaos // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Sheogorath frowned to himself as he once more went looking for his wayward son. One thing that somehow irritated him was that - despite how chaotic Discord was - his arrival had given Sheogorath the closest thing to a routine as he'd had in eras. Each day-equivalent, he would awaken and see that Discord wasn't where he was supposed to be. A quick thought message to the Daedra who'd befriended would tell Sheogorath that Discord was either visiting friends or not. If he was, he would trek out to make sure Discord was getting enough energy to grow well and give him a lecture on irresponsibility that either made whatever Prince Discord was visiting laugh if it stuck to the point, or would make Discord laugh if it wandered. If he wasn't visiting friends, Sheogorath would then be left scouring the Isles or the other realms for any sign of him...only to find him nine times out of ten under the Throne of Madness after endless searches, giggling like a loon. The tenth time Discord actually would be where he was supposed to be, but experimenting with the Ring of Khajit after convincing Meridia to not let on about his location to prank Sheogorath. Once all this was done, it was feeding, talking about what he did, doing crazy things together until Discord collapsed in exhaustion, tucking him in, and casting a powerful silence on the whole Isles so nothing would disturb his sleep. Sheogorath absolutely detested the fact he had a routine now...and yet deep inside, he also found the routine - and his own frustration with it - wonderfully entertaining, making him love his son all the more. Whenever he found that thought in his head, he would send curses Jyggalag's way for 'corrupting him early', before continuing with the routine. Today, however, he'd felt Discord within the Shivering Isles...specifically because he felt a Prince there that he didn't recall extending an official invitation to visit to but wasn't an invader. He found it entertainingly disturbing that Discord apparently had enough metaphysical authority within the Isles already to extend his own invitations. It made him wonder if perhaps he should have given Discord a different staff artifact for his birthday... He quickly dashed those thoughts from his mind. He'd made a decision about that. He only hoped he'd have time to find the right one when the time was right, and that the other Princes Discord had befriended could keep him far away. There were only two options, after all. For all his power, neither Jyggalag nor Sheogorath could make a third one, even if they did somehow work together. Eventually, he found Discord tinkering away with some oddly bright blue flowers alongside a wyrm his size. Sheogorath immediately recognized the Daedra. "Peryite? Didn't expect to see you here. What brings you?" "Failing to give this guy even as much as a sniffle," Peryite grumbled irritably. "Seriously, he came traipsing into my Pits like he owned the place and brushed every plague I sent his way off like he wasn't even biological!" "I'm not," Discord pointed out teasingly. "I'm materialized magic." "Well I know that now," Peryite grumbled ruefully, only for Discord to blow him a boysenberry. Peryite rubbed his head as he tossed the fruit away. "After that, he showed interest in some of my work...and he had an idea that was truly fiendish, and we're trying to get it to work." "Gotta be very careful with it," Discord observed as he opened the blue flower up and lifted tweezers and a soldering iron up to work with. "Don't want it strong enough that people try to exterminate it, but not so weak that immunity is possible." "Careful tweaking there," Peryite whispered. "That's the reproductive code. Mess with it too much and it either won't reproduce or will push out all other plant life. Not only would that mean eventual adaption as creatures learn to feed on it, but it won't be nearly as much fun if everything is affected." "Got it," Discord mumbled in response as he made a few very slight adjustments. "Well, it's good to see you getting to know the other Princes," Sheogorath offered softly as he knelt to watch. He could feel the potential for humorous chaos within the bloom, and was curious as to what would come of it. He glanced disparagingly towards Peryite. "But...him? Really?" "Be nice, Daddy," Discord pouted as Peryite sighed. "He's my friend. Besides, the others are all plotheads." "I feel I should either find that hilarious or chide you for language, for some reason," Sheogorath observed. "And while I can agree with most..." "Boethiah's not so bad, I guess," Discord grumbled as he worked. "But he's deceit. How can I trust anything he says? I mean, I can lie with the best of them - he doesn't like I can match him there, by the way - but I can't even count on him to be lying!" "Understandable, I suppose," Sheogorath allowed. "But what about Vaermina? You seemed to wrap the girls around your talon rather easily-" "She's terrified of me for some reason," Discord growled. "Runs the minute she lays eyes on me. And Namira and Meridia hate each other with a passion, so Namira hates me because Meridia likes me." He chuckled darkly. "I fixed her though. Form-locked her with cursed itchy-panties that only Meridia could take off her...and told her so to her face!" Sheogorath and Peryite burst into laughter. "Bravo son! Bravo!" Sheogorath proclaimed as he clapped. "That's one I can get behind!" Peryite agreed, holding out one claw for a low-four. Discord set his tools floating to meet the gesture, then got back to work. "As for the other three...maybe asking Uncle Saggy to introduce me wasn't the best idea if I wanted to be friends...not that I really wanted to be. They're dumb-dumbs." "Uncle Saggy-" Sheogorath began, only to facepalm. "By Anu and Padomay, you thought Sanguine was a good idea to have introduce you to Hermaeus Mora and Molag Bal?" "And Mehrunes Dagon," Discord added. "He didn't like that I could warp Mundus so easily. Claims it should be his realm, not mine. I stuck him in an indestructible tutu. Uncle Saggy pulled us out really fast." "I can imagine why," Sheogorath mumbled softly. "Dagon has quite the temper." "Ah, that's nothing compared to Hermaeus Mora's temper tantrum when I randomized his library and stole his card catalogue," Discord pointed out. "The faces he made were priceless!" "Sucks to be him!" Peryite insisted grumpily. "He keeps treating me like an errand boy or something. I don't care if I'm the weakest Prince, I'm still a Prince..." "And how did things go with Molag Bal?" Sheogorath asked nervously. "Said he was uncreative as far as the souls he was tormenting," Discord grumbled irritably. "Made a bet for my soul against all the souls he had in his realm that I could come up with a torment that would make the worst of his worst break faster than he could. He hates me now because I won the bet." Sheogorath blinked, stunned. "What sort of torment did you come up with?" "Immortality, Immobility, and Insomnia," Discord offered easily. "The guy was crying and begging to go back to the rack within an hour when he realized that was all he'd have for all eternity." Sheogorath shuddered. "You cruel, wicked lad!" he praised fearfully. "What did you do with all the souls?" "I'm thinking I'll make my own chaos creatures," Discord mumbled softly. "I don't really get along with the Golden Saints, and spending time with the Dark Seducers makes me feel funny. I was thinking wolves made of wood that would reassemble themselves. ...timberwolves, I like the sound of that. Figure I'll let them loose somewhere in reality till I need them. Akatosh said he knew a good place-" "You met Akatosh?" Sheogorath gasped in surprise. "Last time I was in Mundus," Discord waved it off offhandedly. "He was wondering why a 'Daedra' was wandering around that realm on multiple days. Said I wasn't quite a Daedra, and that I'd be a 'wonderful headache'. I get the feeling he likes me despite himself." "I'm going to need to think about all this," Sheogorath grumbled as he sat on the ground. "How about this plant you're making? What is it?" "It's based off Poison Oak," Peryite explained. "But...hey, Discord! Why not demonstrate on your Dad?" "Wait, what-" Discord promptly sprayed pollen from the flower into Sheogorath's face...transforming him into a pale-skinned human woman in a green and black body suit with a pale green tint to her skin, green eyes, long black hair, and green-and-black energy surrounding her hands. She also seemed surrounded by an odd red tint. The Prince stared down at himself. "I feel like there's a joke I'm not getting, but for some reason I'm too angry to care." Discord promptly pulled out four coconut halves, handing two to Peryite. "We'll need these."