"Hey fave sis!" Zephyr Breeze said, flashing his most winning grin as he stood in the open door of Fluttershy's bedroom. The door had been closed a moment earlier, as Fluttershy was doing her homework, listening to music, playing with her animals, watching cat videos, and texting with her friends—all of which required a degree of privacy—but Zephyr rarely paid attention to anyone's personal space or boundaries.
Fluttershy took a deep, bracing breath, turned, and tried to smile. "Yes?" she asked a bit tightly.
Zephyr sauntered in; Fluttershy noticed he'd abandoned his shimmery silk scarf and fedora, although he still cultivated what little stubble growth he could manage at the tender age of fifteen. He pushed Fluttershy's Angora cat, Fuzzle Wuzzles, off the bed and flopped down in a gross, spread-eagled relaxed pose. "So the chicks ain't goin' for the hipster thang," he said. "I'm lookin' for the next angle, thought I'd ask my wonderful big sis who is a totally hot chick what other hot chicks go for."
Fluttershy's lips thinned disapprovingly. "Uh-huh," she said.
"Yeah, I'm thinkin' of goin' vegan," Zephyr said airily. "Whaddya think? Think the whole vegan thing'll get me some pussy?"
Fluttershy's thin-lipped stare turned into a frown of disgust. "Get out of my room," she said.
"Aww, c'mon, sis!" Zephyr said, raising his hands placatingly. "I'm just tryin' to get laid here!" he whined. "There's so many hot chicks at school, there's gotta be at least what, a dozen who need a little Breeze between the knees?"
A red haze filled Fluttershy's vision. Her animals, sensing her mood, began glaring and hissing at Zephyr. She stood, clenching and flexing her hands into claws. "Get out!" she snapped.
Zephyr shot to his feet. "Okay, okay!" he said. "Damn, Sis! Can't your favorite little brother ask his favorite big sis for a little advice?" He picked up Fuzzle Wuzzles and gave her a light little toss across the room; Fluttershy deftly caught the startled, unhappy little cat, whose claws came out and dug into her arms.
*Oh no he didn't!*
As Zephyr turned to leave, a nasty thought entered Fluttershy's head, and a cold sneer graced her lovely face. "Zephyr Breeze? You're right. I should help you."
Zephyr turned around, smiling and rocking on his heels. "Knew you'd see it my way, sis!"
Fluttershy smiled placidly. "If you'll go wait in your room, I promise in just a few minutes, I'll make sure you get all the pussy you can handle."
Zephyr blinked. "Well alright!" he said. "That's what I'm talkin' about." With a jaunty wave, he headed to his room; she heard his door open, heard him jump onto his bed, heard the springs squeak.
She looked down at Fuzzle Wuzzles. "I need a huge favor," she said softly, scatching the cat behind one ear.
"Myaa?" Fuzzle Wuzzles mewed inquisitively.
"A whole can of salmon. Promise." Fluttershy headed to the bathroom, the cat in her arms relaxing and purring...
Three minutes later, Zephyr Breeze was screaming his head off as a hissing, spitting, soaking wet Angora cat was clawing his everything. Fluttershy didn't linger, choosing to leave her door open just enough so she could listen to the carnage.
* * * * *
Six girls stared, slack-jawed, at Fluttershy. "Shut up," Sunset Shimmer said in wonder.
Fluttershy favored her with a smug smile over the top of her bottle of milk tea.
"Well," Rarity said, coughing daintily, "I...I suppose he got what he deserved, after asking you such a horribly uncouth thing."
"I don't think I've ever wanted to pound that creep more in my life," Rainbow growled, punching a fist into an open palm.
Applejack scratched her head. "Shy? Your brother's an asshole," she said.
"He really is," Fluttershy said with a sigh. "And since Mom and Dad don't seem to know how to do any real parenting, I don't think he'll ever really change."
"You seem to have turned out alright," Twilight observed. "Well, apart from throwing a soaking wet cat at your brother. He could've lost an eye, you know!"
They all looked across the cafeteria. Zephyr Breeze was regaling the unamused-looking Crusaders with some fabricated tale of derring-do; much of his visible skin was covered in gauze and bandages.
"If he did he'd just try to pick up girls with the pirate look," Fluttershy said sourly.
"What even made him think it was okay to ask you something like that?" Sunset wondered.
"He doesn't think," Fluttershy said, blowing on her bangs in frustration. "He just says whatever he wants and does whatever he wants."
"Ugh," Rainbow muttered.
"Still, it could be worse," Sunset said. "Snips and Snails used to literally drool at my boobs."
"It took forever for those panty shots of me from the Friendship Games to go away," Twilight said softly, playing with her napkin.
"What IS it with boys?" Pinkie complained, throwing her hands up in the air. "I mean, is that really all they ever think about?"
Rarity gave her a flat stare. "We are talking about boys," she pointed out.
"Ah found one'a them Ogres an' Oubliettes books in mah brother's room th' other day," Applejack said. "Right on th' front there was this chick in a metal bikini an' her tits were bigger'n watermelons."
"Gah," Twilight said, pulling a face. "That sounds like those comic books my brother has boxes of in the attic."
"You know, I don't get why guys want girls whose boobs are bigger than their heads," Pinkie said. "I mean, that's just..." She gestured wildly. "Ridiculous!"
"Insulting," Rarity added. "It insinuates a girl's entire worth is in her chest."
"It shows how ignorant boys really are about girls," Fluttershy added with a mild frown.
"No kiddin'," Rainbow said, waving a hand at Sunset. "That right there's about as big as they ever need to be!"
Sunset's cheeks flushed slightly. "Hey!"
"Oh, come on, you're pretty much the queen of tits here," Rainbow said dismissively.
"Really though," Twilight said, "if these boys even found a girl whose breasts were that big, and, you know..." Her cheeks turned red. "Got to do things like that..."
Applejack snorted. "They'd probably hafta pay for it," she said, crossing her arms.
"...Well, yes, but that aside," Twilight said, "what then? I mean, you look at those grotesquely huge, fake-looking breasts, and it's like, what do you even do with that? Use both hands just on one?"
The other girls stared at her. Eyebrows went up. "You seem to have put a lot of thought into this, darling," Rarity commented with a small smile.
Twilight's cheeks flushed even more. "I...! It's just, I see things like that and I can't help but overthink it! Like the logistics, and the...well...back pain!"
Every girl at the table grimaced.
"Yeah," Pinkie said. "I don't get why women even want big titties like that. I mean, the ones who actually go out and get those things. Don't they know what they're getting themselves into?"
"That's pretty much one of the two things I hate most about this body," Sunset groused. "I can see wanting smaller boobs, but bigger ones?"
"Oh! You know what else bothers me?" Pinkie said suddenly. "That guys either want a girl to be bald down there or have a crotch 'fro!"
Rainbow frowned. "Uhh, Pinkie? You wax."
Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, for me, not because it's what some boy wants."
Rarity grimaced. "Are we seriously talking about that now?"
"Ah agree," Applejack said. "This whole thing's gettin' way off track."
"Really? Because I'm pretty sure this whole thing started with pussy," Pinkie said.
"Then let's end it with pussy," Sunset said, pulling out her phone. Five seconds later, every phone at the table beeped.
"Is that...a cat...in a banana?" Rainbow asked, staring.
Seconds ticked by.
"This is ridiculously cute," Twilight said.
"Yes. Yes it is," Fluttershy agreed dreamily.