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In retrospect, Cream Heart thought as she wrestled her son Button Mash away from the arcade cabinets for the umpteenth time, it might have been a better idea for Pinkie Pie to hold her Pinkie's Pals Playdate Party somewhere other than the Funcade.
Not that there was anything wrong with the Funcade, per se. It certainly beat Greasy Pizza's shithole of a party place—in addition to a broader variety of better, tastier food, it boasted a much nicer ball pit, a trampoline zone, a laser tag maze, a mini basketball court, and of course, an arcade full of modern and classic video games, pinball tables, and skee ball.
With all the fun, healthy activities available for kids to enjoy, her Button had found the one thing that would keep him from having to talk to the other kids—which was the entire point of this party.
Cream Heart had been surprised when Pinkie Pie approached her one day when she was having a coffee and a tart at the snack shop. "I'm throwing a special party!" the exuberant girl had said. "It's for kids who maybe don't have the best luck making friends or are kind of shy and withdrawn. I heard your kid's always by himself playing video games, would you like to bring him to the party?"
And she had, because she very much felt that Button needed friends.
Most of the kids present were a couple of years younger than Button—the oldest present, a girl named Twist, looked to be on the cusp of leaving junior high. Button, himself a sixth grader, stood out as the lone member of the middle age range. The rest of the kids were third and fourth graders—a quiet girl named Lily Pad, a scrawny, mousy boy from Trottingham named Pipsqueak, the energetic Cake twins, Pound and Pumpkin, and lastly, Zipoorwhill, an excitable girl with big black plastic-rimmed glasses and a little toy tiara. Cream Heart was the only parent on the scene; Pinkie Pie was there to help out, and divided her time between entertaining all the kids and trying to nudge specific kids together to bond. The staff was a bit short-handed; apart from the cooks in the kitchen, floor duty was divided between the manager, a kind, fatherly man named Coleco, a girl around Pinkie's age named Juniper Montage who looked supremely bored, and a slightly younger high-schooler named Scootaloo, who kept trying to challenge everybody to mini hoops. Try as she might, Cream Heart honestly could not figure out if Scootaloo was a boy or a girl.
"But Moooooom," Button wailed as Cream Heart led him back over to the party table, "they have Zombie Hunter DX!"
"You have that at home, Button," Cream Heart said with a sigh.
"Nuh-uh! I have Zombie Hunter EX, that got rid of Splatter Combos and took out the secret bonus boss battle with Zombie Tirek!"
"I thought Zombie Tirek was in the DLC I bought you for getting an A on your math test."
"No, that was the fanservice pack that gives you ten new outfits for Lollipop and makes her boobs bigger!"
Cream Heart paused, blinking. "Wait. You have zero interest in girls and you're not even old enough for that kind of thing. Why did you—"
"Because the Jailbait Maid costume is +15 to every stat and lets you dual-wield chainsaws," Button said flatly.
"Oh, right." Cream Heart shook her head. "Anyway, enough about that for now. Why don't you talk to some of these other kids? Maybe play some mini basketball or...hey! How about laser tag?" She put on her best 'Mommy has a good idea' smile. "It's like a real-life video game!"
Button tilted his head. "Weeeeelllll..."
"Come on, Button!" Pinkie Pie yelled from the entrance to the laser tag maze. "We're all gonna play laser tag! It'll be fun!"
"'Kay," Button chirped, scampering over to join the line of kids following Pinkie and Juniper into the laser maze. Cream Heart sighed and sat down heavily at the vacated, mess-strewn party table.
"Got yourself a handful there, huh?" Coleco said with a chuckle as he bustled over to start clearing the garbage and dirty plates.
"You have no idea," Cream Heart said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, there's nothing wrong with loving video games, I grew up on them and I still play them whenever I can, but Button never wants to do anything else."
"I know the type," Coleco said. "Heck, when I was a kid, I'd spend hours and my entire allowance playing Fruit Muncher and Monkey Pong." He sighed. "Of course, back then, arcades were a lot more popular."
"I grew up on Fight Fighter and Total Zombie Island," Cream Heart said. "And a few RPGs. And all the other PlotStation classics."
"Ugh, PlotStation," Coleco grunted. "My kids begged me and begged me for one and then when I finally caved getting them to do anything else was like pulling teeth. And nowadays, all the games are so edgy and hi-def and..." He shook his head. "Give me simple, classic arcade games any day."
Cream Heart giggled. "Your kids sound like me when I was a kid," she said. "I couldn't wait for the holidays, because Mom and Dad promised me a PlotStation, and then I spent the whole winter break playing." She shook her head. "I've still got my old PlotStation, but I sold most of the games online to buy our PlotStation 4. I have to really ride Button about his grades, though. And..." She bit her lip. "Well, he doesn't really have any friends. I mean, offline friends." She paused. "Actually, I'm not so sure he has that many online friends except for this one Neighponese girl..." Her eyes took on a faraway gaze. "The Neighponese girl is a problem."
"How so?"
"Ever since Button met her, she's been trying to get him to play this really horrible game called Lolicidal Tendencies," Cream Heart said. "It's...it's like everything bad about Neighponese games all rolled up into one package. There's no way in hell I'm letting him buy it, and if he manages to sneak it past me, I'm setting the parental controls on the PlotStation so high he won't be able to play anything but match-threes."
"I'm almost afraid to ask."
"It involves hunting and brutally killing half-naked underage girls," Cream Heart said. "Let's leave it there."
"Ugh! That's...who comes up with that?"
"Neighponese perverts." Cream Heart snorted, then chuckled ruefully. "You know, it's funny? Back when I was a kid, I had to argue with my mom and dad about Total Zombie Island and Killer Kombat because they thought those games were too gory and violent, and now I'm totally fine with my own son playing those but there's a game that's so much worse that I draw the line at."
"It does seem like every generation tries to outdo the last one," Coleco said. "Makes you shudder to think what kind of games your grandkids are going to be begging to play, doesn't it?"
* * * * *
"Here, Ma, have some hot cider."
"Thank you, dear." Cream Heart accepted the cider gratefully, rearranging the blankets in her lap. It was a bitterly cold December, and her arthritis bothered her something fierce. "What are the kids up to?"
Button Mash rolled his eyes. "You know kids," he said. "First thing they did after they cleared the table was run off to play." He tapped his phone a few times, and the living room TV turned on; the ultra-hyper definition display showed a candy forest soaked in blood and gore, with screaming half-naked young-looking girls running around in a panic, some of them missing limbs, some of them armed with various silly-looking weapons like squeaky hammers and paper fans.
"Oh my, is that Lolicidal Tendencies?" Cream Heart asked. "I thought that was banned years ago."
"It came back," Button said with a grimace. "I really wish the kids would play something else. This game is just as sick now as it was when I was a kid."
"But you let them play it?"
"Eh," Button shrugged. "I don't wanna be the mean parent, that's Lily's job. Besides, it's not as bad as Mass Shooter Kart or Streets of Rape."
They fell silent, watching as Button's kids' avatars chased after moe characters.
"Man, video games were so much better back in the day," Button said with a tired sigh.
There will probably be a chapter covering the kids talking about whatever kids talk about to go along with this chapter a little later.
"Cream Heart" is the official name of Button's Mom (better known as "Love Tap" on FiMF).
And yes, I just shipped Button Mash with Lily Pad. Come at me, bitches. 
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An excellent point.
Really? Sweet.
I don't know who that is.
So, essentially Button's life is a visual novel? He should have gone for the harem route then.
Apparently there is actually a "Streets of Rape" game... it's a romhack of some beat-em-up featuring Dolan. (I didn't look into it any further than a google search, and that was the video result.)
Why am I not surprised that the conversation got repeated.
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Who is to say he didn't try.
Ah, just what every parent wants to hear from their child.
This made me feel old and I am laughing (Why am I laughing).
When was that established? I assume there was kind of tweet or something?
Kid's got his priorities straight
Huh. At the risk of beating a dead horse, that news to me as well. Word of Jan?
In any case, an amusing look at EqG Button... and a disturbingly believable glimpse of a potential future. At least there's a cute, novel ship in there to mitigate that.
9137917
Looks like Lily Pad is the purple haired girl Pinkie was baby sitting in that one equestria girls short
How is it that I can find the conversations in this chapter completely believable and not in any way fictitious?
I'm sure I have no idea why the best costume is the most perverted.
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I was like "I just have see if anyone commented on this......Where can I get the Jailbait Costume? I need the +15 Stat boost for my Fire Emblem Lord Avatar"
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Because these kind of Games and conversations happen in reality all the time
9137975
Agreed, he does LoL
You can just tell they are a video game family.
I am kinda the same way. These days video games are just a hobby but they are one I wish I had a little more time for.
Button x Lilly, I have to admit that is good. Button is obsessed with games and she seemed attached to her own device. I still like Button x Sweetie Belle but this is another good one.
This was both funny, kind of sweet, and disturbing too. You do have to wonder just where in God's name video games will go in the future...
Also, Button Mash and Lily Pad? I think I can live with that.
I was wondering what was the meaning of the title. Now I understand it's the progression of the bit generation.
Although I don't mind the violence and sexualization in the video game industry. For me they were always there, the graphics just went better.
My real beef the video game industry nowadays is how much cheap and recycle the games feels and the video game creator pandering and censoring their games to people who don't play video games in the first place.
Fun fact: "Coleco" is short for Connecticut Leather Company.
The sad part is, I can see this happening in real life. A kid wanting a game because they heard it was cool, not realizing that it's pretty messed up.
True story, years ago I worked at a Wal-mart, and I was helping in the Electronics section because it was the holiday season, one of the usual guys needed to take his lunch, and I was pretty reliable and register-trained. Older woman walks in with a list from some wishing tree charity thing, and asks about one of the items, a video game called Dead Island. I of course ask her how old this kid is.
Apparently, eight or nine.
...
AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-NO
I told her point blank that Dead Island is a rated M for Mature, that it was a zombie game with blood and guts, and I wouldn't let a nine-year-old within five yards of it, I don't care what horror movies he's seen. I recommended one of the Lego games instead, those are solid.
Moral of the story, it's amazing what kids will try to get their hands on when they think no adults are looking, or when they think we can be tricked.
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I first saw it on Depibooru.
https://derpibooru.org/1785868
I'm still going to call her Love Tap. That's probably her Steam name or something.
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https://kotaku.com/5982586/warren-spector-doesnt-think-lollipop-chainsaw-should-have-been-made
Well that was interesting and I can understand where it's coming from as I grew up in the 80s so I started out with original Mario and I still game today, so I remember all the controversy when Mortal Kombat first showed up, now that's pretty tame compared to some games (even later mortal kombats)
Wow, Love Tap actually got a canon name?
I am surprising okay with Cream Heart.
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Are you okay with rampant microtransactions, crutches like controller aim-assist, Nuke Strikes and "heroes" to let the unskilled feel like they're doing well, constant autosaves, infinite lives and continues and no penalty for failure?
Blood and guts and T and A are among the least of many reasons why modern games suck and "gamer" kids these days are pathetic. Throw them in a real Quake 3 server and listen to them complain about "balance" or blame frame rate instead of recognizing they must practice and fail and learn from each fail to achieve mastery.
Don't get me started on those FBE kids streaming trying to play Mario 3. (I say "kids" but some of them are near voting age). Not knowing where secrets are hidden that everyone has known about forever is cringy, but understandable. On the other hand, jumping right into the same enemy or off a cliff half a dozen times in a row makes it's clear they aren't trying to learn from each mistake (assuming they aren't doing it on purpose).
Omg Coleco! the best name ever! (Really hope I'm not the only one who got the reference)
When did they make her name Cream Heart?
And yeah games do get kind of rediculous on the Gore stuff every now and then ... Although I dread the day when Streets of Rape becomes a thing.
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i feel like at some point I played one of those
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I'm definitely against micro-transactions outside of free to play mobile app and then again I think a lot those aren't worth spending a dime in it.
The aim-assist, I understand it's use for beginners, especially for those using a controller instead of a mouse, but it does make me laugh when so called pro highly depend on it.
As for the nuke strikes and "heroes", I assume you're talking about games like PUBG, Overwatch and other multiplayer games, I'm not into them. Well you must remember that video games is a business for game companies and the they want the most people buying and staying on their games. So they need to implant those kind of thing, but as long as doesn't break the game I can tolerate it. What I can't tolerate are those who use hacks to cheat and ruin the game for everyone. Personally, since I am from the early era of gaming, I am of the philosophy of Get Gud.
The autosaves, infinite lives and no penalty for failure, compare to the time of one life, no save at all and game stopping penalties, for me it's all a question of balance and what kind of game you're playing.
The blood and gore and T&A, this was mostly discuss in this fic, it's a generational thing. Every generation will think theirs is better and few will give a fair chance to other. Their's nothing more to say.
Finally for the FBE kids being bad at Super Mario Bros 3. Well duh their kids. Weren't you bad at first ? The difference between them and us it's this was our generation of game so we often play it to the point we got familiar with it. They are attract by their era of games that are advertised to them and they have vast more choice of games than we had.
Same thing for the all the little secrets in games, we didn't know them at first. We know them only either by finding by chance after playing for so long, had someone tell us or read it in a magazine. Nowadays everything can be find on the internet, as long as you give a minute to research it, you wouldn't imagine how many even grown men fail to do even a basic google search before asking something.
As for them constantly falling into holes and running into the same enemy, again they're kid. My nephew, when I introduce him to Super Mario Bros. at age 4, he did the same thing. He doesn't has the knowledge and most importantly the muscle memory we acquire all these year. Now today at 8 years old, he is doing well better.
I hope this satisfies your questions.
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With the OpenBOR engine and Streets of Rage Remake's creation mode, I have no doubt some pervs have made porno games with it, but I'm not about to go looking for them.
9138452
Ah. Cool, kind of sad they didn't stick with Love Tap. Love Tap was a pretty solid name. But not all pony names can be winners I guess.
I should point out that with maintenance and updates, "old" games still stand up to or are superior to new ones. The guys at id nicely released the source to their idtech engines every time a new version came out. A tradition that those Bethesda SOBs have abandoned.
As a result, original Doom with the right mods and user levels is at least the equal of Bethesda's overhyped NewDoom.
Modded Quake 1-3 are objectively vastly superior to Quake Live and "Champions."
9138513
Uhhh...dude? Love Tap is something Justice3442 came up with. On this site. In fanfiction. It was never a name Jan or anyone related to the YT stuff was using. That's like wishing they'd stuck with "Fertile Plot" for her name.
(But yeah, she'll always be Love Tap to me too.)
9138525
No need to even ask what genre of gaming YOU prefer.
9138569
You'd be wrong. I like almost every genre. Except maybe visual novels and dating sims.
My favorite game of all time is a sidescroller/platformer.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/95/Jill_of_the_Jungle_Trilogy_cover.jpg
9138564
Didn't you use the name Love Tap too? And I thought I saw that fanon name in a few fics ... Jan should've been a Justice fan. Justice makes best Love Tap.
Yeah! violent videos games are the worst!
(I say playing a violent video game.)
9138695
Yeah, I borrowed it from Justice. A lot of other writers did too. Writers crib off each other all the time around here.
Who's Lily Pad?
This picture was in the ad right below you saying come at me bitches.
s3.amazonaws.com/mfcdn/images/active_pk/illustration1200x627.jpg
9138564
Where the heck are you getting your definition of love tap that makes you say it's a dirty name like fertile plot? If I bap you on the back of the head or punch your shoulder all friendly like that is a love tap.
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Dude. You're missing some context here. I named her "Fertile Plot" in one of my older stories. Wanna dial that random aggro back a notch now?
9139354
What agression? I said "what the heck?" not "what the fuck?"
images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aLj9wmv_700b.jpg
Also yeah didn't know you used that name specifically. I thought you were saying Hasbro would never use Love Tap cause that'd be like using [insert sexual innuendo name here] in this case Fertile Plot.
9138874
I see it less as cribbing, and more of "spreading the awesome". After all, if something's great, it should be shared.
The irony of generational censorship
Always relaxing to kick back with the classics. I’m rather fond of Spyro, Half-Life, and Shadows of the Empire.
Streets of rape?....moth....what exactly goes on in that mind of yours?
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Japan, mostly.
ALL the Japan.