Applejack stared blankly at her phone, at the cryptic two-character text which stared blandly back at her, taunting her with its lack of clarity. "An' this is why Ah hate emojis," she said flatly.
It was late Saturday night. After a long day of hanging out and doing girl stuff together, the Rainbooms had gone their separate ways. Applejack had just taken a nice hot shower and changed into her favorite pajamas and was about to hit the hay when she got the most baffling text message she'd ever received. It was from a number she didn't recognize, and consisted of only two emojis:
(eggplant, taco)
Scratching her head, Applejack thumbed over to her contacts and called Sunset Shimmer. She picked up after two rings.
//Hey AJ, what's up?//
"Sorry t' bother you so late, sugarcube, but Ah just got th' dangedest text..."
//The eggplant taco thing? Yeah, I got it too. So did Pinkie, she texted me about it.//
Applejack blinked. "Huh. Reckon we all got it?"
//Wouldn't surprise me.//
Applejack's forehead scrunched up. "Well, whuddya reckon it means?"
//Honestly? I have no idea. Pinkie had this really dumb, random interpretation of it that made less sense than the text, but, well, Pinkie Pie.//
Applejack chuckled. "Well, Ah reckon whuteverโdang it, hang on, got another call."
It was Rainbow Dash.
//Did you get that crazy text?//
"Eeyup. So did everyone, apparently." Just then, three text notifications came in, each from a different friend. Applejack sighed. "Guess there won't be any gettin' t' bed until we all jabber on about this. Hang on, Ah'm gonna git on th' chat." She texted everyone to log on, then sat down at her computer and logged into the school's chat server. Within seconds, all her friends were there except Twilight. She checked her phone; Twilight hadn't been in contact for hours.
Applejack: Reckon Twi went to bed early?
Sunset: Probably. That or she's so busy with something she's not checking her phone.
Pinkie Pie: Yeah, something like a certain Siren *giggle*
Sunset: Ugh, not this again...
Rainbow: Wait, what?
Fluttershy: The Sirens are back? Oh no...
Sunset: Calm down. Pinkie just has a dumb theory about the text.
Pinkie: It's not dumb! It makes perfect sense!
Rainbow: Oh, this ought to be good...
Pinkie: It means Twilight hooked up with Sonata Dusk! You know, the one that was basically me but evil?
Rainbow: ...
Applejack: ...
Rarity: ...
Sunset: See? Dumb.
Fluttershy: I wouldn't say dumb, just...really out there?
DJ-P0N3: Hey guys, you're on late! What's up?
Sunset: Oh, we're just trying to figure out this weird text we all got.
Rainbow: Eh, I know what the text itself meant, I'm just trying to figure out why we ALL got it & who the heck sent it.
Sunset: You do?
Applejack: How come you ain't said so before?
Rainbow: Uhh...because it's obvious?
Fluttershy: It is?
Rainbow: Uhh, DUH! Eggplant and taco? It's a dick and a pussy!
Sunset: ...
Applejack: ...
Fluttershy: ...
Rarity: REALLY, Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie: Wow, and you said MY theory was dumb.
Sunset: Yeah, I don't think so, Rainbow...
DJ-P0N3: Nope, she's right, that's what it means. Somebody's makin' a booty call.
Rarity: Oh my.
Fluttershy: Umm...that's...
Sunset: Yeah, but to all of us? I mean, we all got it.
DJ-P0N3: Well maybe somebody wants to bone all of you? Hell, I would.
DJ-P0N3: Crap, speaking of, I just got "taco taco" from Tavi. Gotta go. Later!
A long, awkward "silence" passed. After far too long, Applejack typed:
Applejack: That...that just happened, right?
Pinkie: Yep, that happened.
Rarity: It...definitely happened. Oh my...
Fluttershy: I don't think I can ever eat a taco again ;_;
Rainbow: It's okay Fluttershy, I'll eat your taco for you.
Sunset: ...
Pinkie: ...
Applejack: ...
Rarity: ...
Sunset: OH MY *GOD*, RAINBOW DASH
Fluttershy: Umm...I just...no. Umm...goodnight, everyone. I need to be up early...yeah...
Fluttershy logged off.
Pinkie: Aww, poor Dashie. Taco-blocked!
Rarity: You know, there's always the possibility this random text was simply a childish prank, just to toy with us. Or, perhaps had no, erm, sexual connotations whatsoever.
Sunset: What, you think they were maybe literally thinking 'eggplant taco'?
Rainbow: Ugh! That sounds nasty.
Applejack: It kinda does, yeah.
Sunset: I don't know about you guys, but I'm about ready to turn in. I'm already gonna have some pretty weird dreams thanks to Rainbow Dash, I don't want it to get any worse than it's already gonna be.
Rainbow: Heheheheh.
Rarity: I do need my beauty sleep. We can continue this..."discussion"...or NOT...tomorrow.
Applejack: Yeah, I'm tuckered out. Nite y'all.
Rainbow: Hey, Sunset, did you ever get hold of Twilight?
Sunset: Nope. I guess she really did go to bed early. Well, goodnight!
* * * * *
Across town...
Two girls, one with lavender skin, the other with pale blue skin, both with their hair done up in high ponytails, lay naked and sweaty in bed together. The blue-skinned girl giggled as she set her phone on the bedside table.
Twilight Sparkle glanced curiously at her. "You're not doing anything I'm gonna regret tomorrow, are you?"
Sonata Dusk smiled brightly. "Nope! Just catching up on some texts." She yawned and wrapped an arm around Twilight. "I dunno about you, but I'm super sleepy. Let's go out for breakfast tacos in the morning, okay?"
"Sure," Twilight said with a smile, settling in next to her.
As Sonata turned the light off, she giggled. "But really, who knew you could do that with beans?"
I feel you on that.
That was my impression of her from the trailer. Aria was Evil Rainbow Dash and Adagio was Evil Rarity.
... I do NOT want to know.
Wow. Just, wow.
This... just happened.
...Well, alright then. Something new every day.
Also, are we still on the beanis thing?
I... Don't wanna know what they did with beans....
THE RETURN OF THE BEANIS!!!
Edit:
8525746
Believe me, you do.
Dash had the most obvious explanation, but Pinkie was right. Hilarity all around, though!
Well.
We meet again, beanis.
The Beanis returns.
Well at least it wasn't ๐๐ฉ.
8525771
Both were technically correct...if that last line was anything to go by.
Hello beanis, my old friend.
Beanis mightier
Never doubt the wisdom of the Pink One. Except, you know, when you totally should. At least she wasn't ranting about Rainbow Dash going all she-demon on her pies... though that might have been thematically appropriate.
Oh, Lord. I think I'm gonna need a few gallons of brain bleach to be able to forget what was in THIS chapter.
Thanks a bunch for that, Moth.
*sighs shaking my head*
Why do you do these things, Moth? Just.... just why....?
I'm with Applejack here. I don't like emoji, because it just annoys me to waste a minute or two trying to understand the meaning behind a rebus.
And oh boy the beanis returns.
Okay, who let Qbert write the chapter title?
This should be in "Just girls talking dirty"
Eh... ๐๐ฎ is noob-tier emojing.
๐๐ฎโ๏ธ๐ฉ is better, and ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ is only for that special person.
ABAJ
Lol, Pinkie, silly as she is, she's always right
good show
That whole thing was amazing, also I suddenly want to see more of this pairing now.
8526006
I see somebody who didn't get the joke...
8525984
Why? It isn't any worse than anything already in this story. Also, that's my call to make.
I lost it at โtaco tacoโ and again at the Beanis reference.
The moment Pinkie opened her mouth, so to speak, I knew she was gonna be right.
Also for me this is the first of this pairing. Could somebody please confirm whether or not this ship is actually a thing?
I don't wanna know. Also, emojis are somewhat life another language.
whaleoil.co.nz/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/21906221_zps62139636.jpg
Is there something about the EQG Pinkie always being right? Does she manipulate the world around her to get whatever she says to happen?
I think Pinkie is some sort of horrific monster in disguise.
8526194
I get it, I just think that emoji sexting is funny
This is why I stay away from emojis 98% of the time. They're harder to read than the average teenager's text language.
Actually interpreted it correctly from the title. What does that say about me?
8526006
I think you got one of those backwards, shouldn't it be โ๏ธ๐ฎ๐๐ฉ?
Next thing you know a puppy will flipped off random people.
8526679
Depends
But yes, I got it backwards
Emoji are serious business.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xSuVrxxdAi0
8526427
Pinkie fhtagn.
8525739
Apparently we are.
8525984
I think the 12 and 17th chapters beat it. (Not that way.)
8527737
The rebus they add up to is code for "anal fisting". You're better off not knowing what emojis they actually are.
I laughed so damn hard at reading that part. Stay classy, Vinyl, stay classy!
Now I'm hungry dammit...
For tacos I mean.
Actual tacos.
8528830
She is a classy character isn't she. She definitely earns a few mustaches. .
8526006
8527737
8527843
Kinda feel a little awkward that I immediately understood "one in the pink, two in the stink". I don't use this language.
Guess I just have a dirty mind, that's just peachy.
That line between JGT and JGTD is getting fuzzier.
OMG! That was priceless and I loved Pinkie being right.๐
.....I....I don't quite know what to say. From Pinkie's theory and it being right to Vinyl....to.....to FlutterDash.... I only wonder what'll come next.
Dash did that on purpose, didn't she...
With beans....
BEANIS!!
8533794
No, that's "yellow".