Just Girls Talking About Sunset Shimmer's Sexual Preferences
"UUUAAAAAAAAGHHHH!" Sunset Shimmer screamed, throwing her hands up in the air in disgust. "I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HORSES!!"
The sudden outburst shocked everybody at Sugar Cube Corner into stunned, awkward silence. Every head in the cheerful little coffee shop jerked around to stare at her.
After a long, tense moment, Mrs. Cake cleared her throat. "That's nice, dearie, but seeing as this is a family establishment, I'd appreciate if you keep such, ah...information...to yourself. I'd rather not have to throw you out."
Sunset Shimmer's eyes went wide. "Oh my gosh," she said shakily. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cake!" She looked around at all the people staring at her. Her face turned a shade of red that rivaled her hair. Slowly, she sank low into the booth, planting her face against the table in front of her.
Rarity coughed. "Ahem. I'm almost afraid to ask, but...what brought that on?" Wordlessly, Sunset pushed her phone across the table. Rarity picked it up, took a look, and blanched. "Gaaaah."
"Let me see!" Rainbow Dash snatched the phone away. Her eyes widened. "Oh, gross!"
Pinkie grabbed it, took a look, and let out a gasp. "WHOA! Who the heck—"
"Now that jes' ain't right," Applejack said. She offered the phone to Fluttershy, but Fluttershy shook her head and warded it off, eyes wide and frightened. Fluttershy slid closer to Sunset and gently patted her on the shoulder.
"It's okay, Sunset," she said. "I know people think you, umm...that, but the whole time we were at that ranch together that one weekend taking care of the horses, I never even saw you look at one that way."
Sunset raised her eyes up and gave Fluttershy a half-lidded stare. "Those were all mares," she said.
"Oh. Well. Yes. But still!"
Sunset's phone landed back in front of her, still displaying a rather painful-looking bit of bestiality porn some jerk had e-mailed her. She deleted the mail, then slipped her phone back in her pocket. "It's just like...at least once a week, some idiot pulls this stupid stunt," she said.
The others looked around at each other. "W-well," Rarity said, "it's just some juvenile pranks, right? I mean, even though your reputation has improved dramatically, there will always be those who just want to be mean for no reason."
"Gotta be honest," Rainbow said, looking Sunset right in the eyes, "I've always kinda wondered if you, y'know..." She shrugged. "I mean..."
Sunset lifted her head from the table and penetrated Rainbow with an intense stare. "You thought I had sex with farm animals?"
"Well it's just...you're a horse, right?" Rainbow flailed her hands about. "I mean, if it was anybody else, it'd be totally sick, but for you, wouldn't that be like...y'know...normal?"
"You know, that's a good point," Pinkie said. "I mean, that magic portal thingie gave you the body of a totally hot human babe, but inside you're still a pony. It's not like the portal just changed your whole sexual preference and all that stuff we learn about in biology, right?"
"Ah don't think Twilight got that memo," Applejack pointed out. She frowned. "Unless she's some kinda queer or somethin'." She scratched her head. "Is that even th' right word for it?"
"Absolutely not," Rarity said firmly. She patted Sunset's hand reassuringly. "Don't let it bother you."
"But it does bother me!" Sunset said. "I get that I deserve some of what I still get from the kids at school, and most of it I can put up with, but this whole horsefucker thing is just gross and I'm fed up with it!"
"Aww," Pinkie cooed, sliding a cookie in front of Sunset. "Don't get crabby, Sunny!"
"You know though," Rainbow said, "that does bring up a good question. Can human guys even satisfy you? I mean, like, take Flash. I know for a fact he's got a tiny pecker. I bet he was a real disappointment when you're used to horse cock. I mean, I've seen how huge those things get." Everybody stared at her. She blinked. "What?"
Sunset lifted her head from the table, giving Rainbow another flat stare. "Okay first of all, I never did anything with Flash Sentry. Second of all, I'm still a virgin, I don't care what you've heard about me." She frowned. "And just when the hell did you ever see Flash naked?"
Rainbow flinched and glanced at Fluttershy, who recoiled and hid behind her hair.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Okay, whut'd Ah miss?"
"Whatever it is, I missed it too," Rarity said, quirking an eyebrow of her own.
"U-umm, w-well..." Fluttershy stammered.
Sunset blinked. "Wait. You and Flash?"
Fluttershy meeped and ducked low. "I-it's not, I mean—"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "I caught Fluttershy givin' him head one day," she said.
The others gasped. "No way," Pinkie said, eyes wide.
Fluttershy squeaked in fright, her face glowing like a fireplace.
"Seriously?" Sunset asked, staring in disbelief at Fluttershy.
"W-well," Fluttershy stammered, "h-he was, I mean..." She sighed. "It was a few days after the Battle of the Bands. Flash was really depressed about Twilight leaving, it was his birthday and not even Pinkie Pie remembered..." She played with her hair. "I thought he could use some cheering up, so—"
"So you went down on him?" Sunset asked. "Just...out of the blue?"
Fluttershy smiled sheepishly. "I always wanted to...to try it. Just once. Umm...I was curious. And I knew he wouldn't...say anything..." she ducked low again. "A-anyway, we went out a couple of times, but we don't really have anything in common. I—I guess I should've told you I went out with your ex. I'm sorry!"
"No, it's okay," Sunset said. "I'm just a little...surprised." She frowned. "And kinda grossed out."
"What was it like?" Pinkie asked.
Fluttershy blushed even harder. "Not really worth it," she said.
"But anyway, back to the main point," Rainbow said, turning back to Sunset, "even if you never did it with any, umm, pony back home, you still gotta know what horse cock is like, right? So human dudes can't possibly measure up in your eyes, right?"
Sunset groaned. "Rainbow Dash, didn't it ever occur to you there's a reason humans and horses aren't meant to have sex?"
"Because it's wrong an' against th' law?" Applejack suggested.
"Besides that," Sunset said.
"Horse penis is sized for mares," Fluttershy said. "Human penis is sized for human girls. Mostly. Umm, I've heard of guys whose...are too big, and it hurts the girls they..." She trailed off, playing with her hair.
"Exactly," Sunset said. She folded her arms. "Look. This world is my home now. I may have been born a pony, but I'm human now. I have a human body, my human body does human body things." She grimaced. "Some of which I could live without, but anyway. If—IF—I ever start having sex, it'll be with a human. The horses in this world are mindless farm animals. You can't have a relationship with a dog, and you can't have one with a horse."
"They're not mindless," Fluttershy said with a mild scowl. "Horses are very intelligent and emotional creatures."
"But they can't buy you dinner or understand when you tell them how your day went," Sunset said. "Kind of a deal breaker. That and the whole they're farm animals thing." She shuddered. "It'd be like one of you girls having a relationship with a gorilla."
The girls reacted to this comparison with varying degrees of disgust and disdain.
Sunset glanced at the counter and winced at the look Mrs. Cake was giving them. She hurriedly drained the rest of her frappucino. "I think we've worn out our welcome," she said. She stood up, walked over to the counter, and laid a few extra bills in front of Mrs. Cake. "I'm really sorry about all that," she said. "I'm just...dealing with some stuff."
Mrs. Cake frowned, but gave her a sympathetic look. "I think I understand," she said. "But dearie? Please, the next time you and your friends want to talk about your sex lives, do it at home or at school, okay?"
"Got it," Sunset said. Her friends finished gathering up their things, and the girls left Sugar Cube Corner together.
Some of the patrons were still giving Sunset odd looks—she could feel it—but she decided not to let it bother her. As long as her friends knew she wasn't like that, and as long as she knew she wasn't like that, what did it matter what Snips and Snails were telling people about her?
*Besides,* she thought to herself, *they're just mad they never even had a shot at me.*
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That ending
That was actually a rather clever way to address and answer the issue. And that ending was funny.
Makes you wonder if any fics that actually have Sunset attracted to human world horses are in the suggested links next to this thread, for a dose of irony?
That ending though...
Perhaps those pics should've gone to Rainbow instead. She seemed... oddly interested.
7000316
I count at least one.
Edit: You know...that was rather inventive way to counter the...issue, here, and one I personally agree with. I know every character on gets a sex fic or comic or image written/drawn about them eventually, but this is...ah to hell with it. This is one hell of a fucked up subject.
Regardless, you worked in a funny ending which is no mean feat considering the material covered here. What really surprised me with this chapter is how well executed it is: I can't spot anything that feels spectacularly out of place. Hell, even the bit between Fluttershy and Flash sounds surprisingly normal and natural.
7000331
Your phrasing makes me a little sad. I don't know why.
7000339 I wouldn't focus on it too much. Find something heartwarming and true to the series to read or watch one of the episodes or the movies, even if it's just something you you've already read/seen. Always helps me, at least.
I feel I am figuring you out better. This was a funny chapter though
7000350 I meant the "every character on this site" part. That wasn't very good phrasing on your part. Kinda reads like FiM/EG don't exist outside of this website.
You know, I think only one of these SunsetXHorse fics has had it where she can understand the horse, Lonestar´s, mouth noises, as speech.
You did that on purpose!
7000409 Yes. Yes I did.
Honestly, I'm just glad someone actually said something. I mean I know this site has stories of all kinds, some of which involve human characters having a relationship with one of the Mane 6 who is a pony, though at the very least you could technically argue that the Mane 6 or any Equestrian pony atleast has the same level of intelligence and personality of a human, with the only diference being species. Sure it still raises eyebrows but still.
However, Sunset with an actual horse, that's just messed up because there is no loophole regarding intelligence or anything like that. It's litterally Sunset doing it with an horse, an animal with none of the higher brain function or anything. It's not funny, it's not cute, it's just wrong and pretty damn disturbing and the fact that stories like that actually end up popular, well it's kind of unnerving to an extent.
Not trying to criticize people who read or maybe even like it, your choice I guess. Really the only thing I find myself wondering is just...Why?
Anyway good story overall, funny and the Fluttershy thing was unexpected. Kudos on addressing this.
7000405 You're referring to a series of prompts from the collab "Cheating The Cycle of Life", aren't you?
I see what you did there. xD
i do like this bit as an explanation. It is canonically supported by Twilight's inexplicable attraction to Flash while at Canterlot High.
7000404 Ah. That makes a bit more sense. I suppose I could have phrased that a bit better- after all, this fandom is far greater and larger than just one site full of (Mostly) awesome stories. Soon, with our untold legions, we shall take over the world with ponies and friendship.
Insert evil emperor laugh here.
Oh wait, that joke's been run into the ground.
...
...
Screw it. It's practically cliche at this point, but I still love it. I'll just cut off the comment mid-sentence like
Is the 'Sunset Shimmer has Crabs' reference subconscious, really clever, or am I connecting dots I scribbled myself?
7000442 It was inspired slightly by a story, the aspect of her being able to understand horses
7000469 Nope, the refs to my other two recent Sunset Shimmer fics are intentional. (They're artifacts from when I intended this to be a standalone story, but then I just left them in when I decided to make it a chapter of this.)
I've seen a bunch of Sunset-on-horse sex, but I'm glad that this chapter addresses the issue. I draw the line with bestiality, rape, incest and any sexual act involving minors. ESPECIALLY BABIES. I'm not sure why the hell someone would write that sorta thing, since that last one is waaay worse than the other three I mentioned. Also, that scene with Flash and Fluttershy? Random, but fitting. Finally, am I the only one that thinks that RD might be a prude?
You know, when I read stories where Fluttershy does somewhat slutty things in secret, but is still herself, I don't know why, but it just feels... right to me. Maybe its just that you REALLY know how to write Equestria Girls in a realistic manner.
There was on interesting little series about this, Back in the Saddle. Basically, while there is clop, with Sunset, AJ, and Thunder, the horse, with Sunset producing a half Unicorn, half Human, as in human with a horn, child, there is still lots of drama, and heartwarming moments. Like, when Sunset is going into labor, AJ actually gets in jail for attacking a cop so Twilight and Thunder could get to Sunset in time to save her life. Still, there are worse trends, like most Displaced fics
7000505
Incest is a much more complicated subject than the others you listed. For example, cousins or second cousins are far enough apart genetically to not be at any particularly increased risk for genetic defects breeding true. Non-procreative incest carries none of that particular risk. Some people think relations between step-siblings is squicky, even if they're not actually related. I recall one story of a brother and sister who were separated by the System as infants, met each other as adults not knowing who the other was, got married, had perfectly healthy kids... then the state discovered the parents were siblings, put the father in jail and took the kids away.
Parent/child incest (other some other similar relation like aunt/uncle and niece/nephew) is problematic due to issues with asserting power more than biology.
This, is why I added this to my Tracking library
Every time I see a Sunset/Horse Story I have to think about this 1000 ways to die episode.
I found only a link to the german one.
There's a reason humans and horses are not compatible.
7000521 Well, you know what they say. It's ALWAYS the quiet ones.
7000558 Yes, I'm aware of it. It's kind of what started the trend.
7000655 At least that one kind of makes it slightly less weird. Still, at least it isn´t a Displaced fic
7000616 Plus, Eleanor Roosevelt was, I believe, distantly related to Franklin and Theodore. And one of Einstein´s wives was some cousin or whatever
7000505 I honestly wish that stuff never made it though the approval process.
7000376
Agh! I'm hit! I'm hit!
Well, this was a nice morning read. *Raises coffeemug*
There's something about Deadpan Snarker Sunset's that's very amusing.
If you want to get technical, she was a magical talking PONY. The horses in this world do not have the intelligence of Equestrians. Also, quit while you're behind, Dash.
Same here.
Seriously??
This, feels natural, apart from it's always the quiet ones, Fluttershy IS Kindness and well, what's kinder than cheering up someone? It honestly feels realistic.
Oof! Poor Flash! Right in the pride!
Yeah. Said it better than I could, 'Shy.
True as that may be, there's a difference between intelligent, and sapient.
Good idea.
To be fair, can you blame them for wanting to have a shot at you? You may not ooze sex appeal like say, Adagio, who's had ages to practice her craft, but you're not exactly unattractive. Besides, I don't mind EQG Snips and Snails. While the pony ones are dense dunces and I'm being nice, what with the Ursa stunt, Snips and Snails never did something that bad. And they seem more intelligent. Not that that's very hard.
Oh gosh. I'm gonna upvote you just for this chapter.
*Reads the rest*
And all the others too.
7000316
Not in the "Also Liked" section, but there are in the "Similar" section. At least for me. Then again, I'm a deviant who likes that stuff so
Nice work, especially the ending,
Bravo author.
On the flip side, all the human males with pony clop... Would a mare even notice being mounted by a human?
I've got nothing against erotica, but human/pony relationships just seem doomed to failure to me.
Okay, I have to say something. In addition to what I said in your blog post. See, initially I was mad because of this chapter, I even went as far as to downvote. But that's unfair, and I went back to upvote, because this is a good story, and I genuinely like it, and you're completely entitled to your opinion and to express that opinion.
I get that bestiality is gross to most people, it makes sense, it's a weird fetish. And I get that people don't like bandwagons, they can be annoying. But please, for the love of god, please! Not just the author, but anyone who agrees with him. PLEASE, don't start bullying people on this site because of that. If this evolves in to a similar situation as that Cards Against Equinity fiasco, with people being pressured to delete their stories, and others being scared off writing, I'm never coming back to this site again.
Horses in this world don't look any more like an Equestria pony than a monkey looks like a human. Sunset could have no more attraction to them than the average human would to a chimpanzee.
7000994
I have never, and WILL never, participate in anything of that nature, and most of my followers are too mature to partake in that sort of behavior. This is just me venting at something I'm sick of seeing in the feature box in a creative way. And for the record, I was directly involved in the Cards Against Equinity fiasco--as a victim. When my Cards Against Equestria Girls hit the feature box, after I admitted to jumping on the CAH bandwagon, I took a massive beating for several straight days from this site's more obnoxious and immature residents.
I'm sick of seeing the horsefucker fics, and I have a right to complain about it, but the people writing them also have the right to write and post them, so there it is.
7001042
There is like one or two of those fics I like, but yeah they aren't everyone's cup of tea. Though this is the first time I heard about the CAH thing that really does make me disappointed in a lot of people of this site.
It would have been better if you hadn't included the bit about Flash, his tiny penis, and a promiscuous Fluttershy. It adds nothing to the story and frankly made me enjoy it less. And no version of Pinkie Pie would ever forget anyone's birthday.
That said, this had to be your best work yet! Seriously, the very first line had me laughing out loud. Keep it up.
7001042
Well said.
I could've done without the bit between Flash and Fluttershy myself, but yeah, generally agreeing with what this 'fic says.
7000967 yes they would, it'd be a little thinner than a normal ponys, but due to a size comparison picture floating around this site and the Internet in general, I now have the knowledge that the average pony length is only 8 inches, while the average humans is 6, and it's not *that* much thicker than a humans, so its entirely possible for a human to be able to satisfy a pony *edit* also, if I remember right, a human lasts longer too, but I have no clue wheye that tidbit came from
Thank you; it's about some time someone had Sunset deliver a rebuttal of all that HorseSet clop that's been cluttering up FIMFiction of late!
Fluttershy was a bit... OOC there. It would have been more plausible if her character had an established tendency to view sexual activity as being just a part of sharing positive aura or had been reacting to Treehugger telling her that it was the case.
FWIW, no, I can't see an Alpha like Sunset just sleeping with a guy (or girl) on the off-chance. She's too sensible of emotional vulnerability and would only want to give someone that sort of gift if she was absolutely convinced that they were worthy. That said, I would be very, very interested to learn what a transmogrified uncorn pony defines 'attractive' in terms of human looks.
7003599
Not necessarily. How do we KNOW she doesn't have a little bit of a wild side? It IS always the quiet ones.
mythrilmoth.net/misc/Go-On%20Gold.jpg
Finally someone points that out.