Just Girls Tallking About Depression
Pinkie Pie knocked gently on the bedroom door farthest down the hall. The Pie Sisters' house was deathly quiet. "Marble?" she called.
No response.
Pinkie gently opened the door, pushing it quietly open. The acrid smell of body odor washed over her, making her nose wrinkle. The curtains were drawn; with the gloomy grey clouds outside, the only thing shedding any light in the dim room was the 32-inch smart TV in the corner, which was muted and had some decades-old sitcom playing on it.
Pinkie flicked the light switch by the door. Two LED lamps in beige wall sconces lit up, shedding a medium glow over the drably decorated room. The floor was littered with pieces of paper plates. A tangle of gnarled, gnawed blankets in a straw basket in the opposite corner shifted; a short-horned head emerged, sniffed the air, and let out a brief, high-pitched warbling yell before slurping up a mostly-eaten paper plate with a long tongue and retreating into its nest.
Pinkie sighed, shaking her head as she looked around at the mess. "Oy," she muttered. She gingerly picked her way across to the bed, where a slight figure was huddled under a drab grey blanket. The top drawer on the bedside table was half open, with the top of a box of cheese crackers peeking out. A tumble of boxes of animal crackers littered the bottom of the drawer. A half-empty water bottle and a half-empty soda bottle stood on the bedside table, amid a collection of pill bottles and a bottle of cold medicine which was almost completely empty.
Shaking her head, Pinkie pulled back the blanket, revealing a messy, greasy mane of straight grey hair. "Marble?" she asked. "Did you eat your supper or did you just give it to the goat again?"
"Ate a bite," Marble said. "It's cold, can you let me sleep?"
"Did you take your medicine?"
"Is it time?" Marble asked sleepily, shuffling around.
"It's seven thirty," Pinkie said.
"Oh." Marble shuffled around more, then sat up, curling in on herself. "My tummy hurts."
"That's because you're not eating right," Pinkie said. "Do you think you can come downstairs and eat breakfast?"
Marble thought about it for a minute, then shook her head.
"Do you think you can maybe take a shower?" Pinkie asked.
Marble huddled her blanket more firmly around herself. "Later," she said. "Too tired."
Pinkie sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "What do you want for breakfast?" she asked.
"Croissant sandwich?" Marble asked tentatively.
"Will you actually eat it yourself and not just take half a bite and dump it for the goat?"
"I'll eat it," Marble promised.
"Good, because those are expensive," Pinkie said. She sighed. "Alright, I'll go make you one and bring you some fresh OJ to take your meds with, okay?"
"Okay," Marble said. Before Pinkie was to the door, she had already completely disappeared into her blanket again. Pinkie sighed.
* * * * *
When lunchtime arrived at CHS, the Rainbooms gathered at their usual table. Pinkie Pie, her hair limp and lifeless, set down a tray with half as much food as usual on it, dropped into her chair, then rummaged through her bag, pulling out a number of pill bottles. She shook out a small handful of brightly-colored pills, packed away the bottles again, then uncapped her water and swallowed the lot.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. "That's an awful lot of medicine," she said. "Are you sick?"
Pinkie shook her head. "It's my stabilizers," she said. "I usually only need two and I take those at home, but right now I'm kind of in a bad place, so I'm taking the ones I usually don't need."
The others blinked at that. "Wait, you?!" Rainbow Dash cried. "I mean, you're always kind of a little cuckoo, but really?"
"Rainbow Dash! Honestly," Rarity chided harshly.
Pinkie smiled. "I know what she meant," she said. "Besides, Rainbow can be kind of a dum-dum, so it doesn't bother me."
"Hey!"
Fluttershy frowned. "So you really are bipolar? I've always kind of wondered."
Pinkie sighed. "Well, more or less. It's complicated. I don't really get depressive episodes so much myself, mostly just the hypomania."
"The hypomania's no surprise," Sunset said with a gentle smile. "To anybody that knows you."
"Heheh...yeah," Pinkie said with a self-deprecating grin. She started picking at her food with her fork. "Thing is..." She frowned. "Things aren't so good at home right now, and it's kind of getting to me."
"What's wrong?" Rainbow asked. "Anything we can help with?"
Pinkie bit her lip. "Can...we talk about it later?" she asked. "Maybe in the band room? Where nobody can listen in?"
The others looked around worriedly. "Sure," Sunset said soothingly, smiling gently. "Whatever you want."
"Thanks," Pinkie said. She ate her lunch with less than her usual enthusiasm. Her friends watched her with concern.
* * * * *
Marble Pie sat in a tub of cooling water, knees drawn up to her chest. She stared listlessly at the stainless steel faucet, at the rubber drain plug, at the drab gray washcloth she'd let sink to the bottom of the tub. Once the water had long since turned cold and her fingers had pruned up, Marble got out of the tub, dried herself off, and padded back to her bedroom, where she put on a clean set of pajamas and crawled back into bed. She picked up her phone and opened up a mobile game she didn't care much about, listlessly plodding away at it until her battery was low. Sighing, she turned it off and put the phone on the charger, then rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling.
"Baaaaaa." A white snout peeked over the edge of the bed and poked at her hand, a long, wet tongue licking her fingers insistently. Marble reached over and gave the goat's head a rub.
"Hi Beezie," she said. She sighed. "You need to go outside, huh?"
"Baaaaaaa."
"Oh, alright." Groaning, Marble got out of bed, shuffled into her slippers, and led Beezie downstairs and to the back door.
* * * * *
The Rainbooms gathered in their usual practice room. Once the girls were all inside, Twilight Sparkle carefully locked the door, then took a seat by the wall. Pinkie Pie sat behind the drum kit, but instead of drumsticks, she had her phone out and was texting. A mild frown creased her brow. Once the girls had all seated themselves, Pinkie put her phone away with a sigh. "Hey girls," she said tiredly.
"Goodness, darling! You look positively miserable," Rarity said.
"Alright, sugarcube, spill them beans," Applejack said. "Ah can't take no more'a you mopin' around like a fox that just watched th' chicken farmer move away."
Pinkie put her phone away and folded her hands in her lap. "It's...it's my sister," she said. "She's having a really bad episode."
"Maud?" Sunset asked.
"No, not Maud," Pinkie said.
"Oh, you mean the bitchy one?" Rainbow asked.
"No, not Limestone."
The other girls looked at each other in confusion. "Umm...aren't they like, your only sisters?" Sunset asked.
Pinkie sighed. "It's...my twin sister Marble."
The girls blinked in unison. "Wait, what?" Rainbow asked. "Your twin sister?"
"I had no idea you had a twin sister, darling!" Rarity said.
"Yeah..." Pinkie sighed. "She doesn't...really like meeting new people. I..." She bit her lip. "It's not like I've been trying to keep her secret or anything, it's just that she's, well...she's a touchy subject and talking about her makes me sad, so I just...kinda don't."
"Goodness," Fluttershy said. "What's wrong with her? Is she sick?" She wrung her hands. "Is she...is she dying?"
"It's nothing like that," Pinkie said softly. "It's just, she's suffered from severe depression for years. It's..." She absently drummed her fingers on the rim of her snare drum. "Well, she's a shut-in, basically." She sighed. "She has her good days and her bad days. On her good days, she'll feed herself, spend time with me and Maud and Limestone without us having to beg her, even do little chores around the house. Then..." Her hair deflated visibly. "Then there are her bad days, like basically this whole week."
"What...what are her bad days like?" Twilight asked, worrying fretfully at the hem of her skirt.
"On her bad days, she won't even get out of bed," Pinkie said. "She hurts all over and she's so tired and weak she can't even bathe herself. We bring her meals up to her but we can't trust her to actually eat them because she just doesn't feel like it, so we make sure she has boxes of snacks and drinks by the bed in case she gets really hungry. About the only thing that can get her out of bed when she's like this is if she needs the toilet." She grimaced. "Well, sometimes she lets Beezie out in the backyard, but that's about it."
"Beezie?" Sunset asked.
"Her pet goat," Pinkie said. "We got him as a therapy animal. I know, it's weird, a goat and not a dog or a cat or something, but it's what she wanted, and at least Beezie takes care of everything Marble doesn't eat." She shrugged.
"What kind of name is Beezie for a goat?" Rainbow wondered.
Twilight pushed her glasses up. "It's short for 'bezoar', right? It's both a species of goat and the word for a stone taken from a ruminant's stomach that was once thought to be an antidote for most poisons."
"Yeah," Pinkie said with a fond smile. "Maud came up with the name. Marble loves it."
"A pet goat sounds so adorable," Fluttershy said.
"Y'all do know goats shit all over everywhere, right?" Applejack asked. "An' goat shit's pretty dang ripe."
"Yyyyeah, that's why my room is downstairs now," Pinkie said. "Since I'm the only one who ever has company over and it's easier to keep Beezie's stinky-stink contained upstairs."
"So she's your twin sister, huh?" Rainbow asked. "Is she like, homeschooled then?"
Pinkie shook her head. "We tried that for a bit, but it wasn't really working. We just kinda leave her alone and let her do her own thing." She sighed. "Taking care of her is a real strain on all of us, especially ever since Mom and Dad left. Limestone works hard, Maud's got her part-time job, I've got mine..." She shrugged. "It's just easier to let her be. Especially since she's never left the house under her own power, not ever."
Twilight frowned, adjusting her glasses. "I'm sorry, but...it almost sounds as if your sister should be in an institution, with nurses and staff taking care of her? And not left alone at home all day with a goat?"
"We've...had a lot of fights about that at home," Pinkie said tiredly. "If we put her in a nursing home, it'd drain our finances. But if we had her committed..." She shook her head. "None of us want that. It'd be like admitting we give up on her, and none of us are...are ready for that." She bowed her head. "I mean, there's all kinds of medicine we haven't tried yet for her, and new stuff that comes out all the time...sooner or later something's gotta work, right? She can't just..." She sniffled. "She's my baby sister," she said, her voice thick and choked. "I can't just give her to some s-strangers and—and s-say she's—she's their problem..." Her voice dissolved into choked sobs as she buried her face in her hands.
Fluttershy rushed over to her and swept her up in a hug, tears gathering in her own eyes. "You poor thing," she said. "We had no idea..."
"Wait, so..." Sunset frowned. "Your mom and dad just went and left you girls all alone in Canterlot? With that going on? Left three teenage girls to take care of a shut-in who can't even feed herself?"
"Sunset!" Rarity hissed. "Have some sympathy!"
"I do, I do!" Sunset said. "It's just—it doesn't check, something's not right here."
Pinkie wiped her eyes and blew her nose. "They only moved to the city in the first place because of me and Marble," she said. "I mean, Limestone and Maud have their own mental health problems, but Mom and Dad didn't really understand that, but then Mom had a really rough pregnancy with me and Marble, and..." She wrung her hands. "W-well, by the time we were about five, our sisters realized we needed..." She hiccuped and sniffled. "Needed medicine and—and understanding, not Amish discipline."
"Ouch," Sunset said with a wince that was shared by the others.
"But they've never been comfortable in the city," Pinkie said, sniffling. "And Dad and Limestone have been fighting for years over Marble, because—because Dad never really understood how bad off she is, kept trying to make her do things. So when Limestone got graduated and started working, Dad decided it was time for him and Mom to go back and leave us to fend for ourselves."
"That's positively criminal!" Rarity gasped.
"Oh, they left plenty of money, they don't need it where they are now," Pinkie said. "And they never spent more than they had to in the first place. It's just..." She sighed. "They can't really handle city life, but I'm a city girl, Maud prefers it here, and Marble, well..." She shook her head and sniffled. "She'd never make it on the farm."
"B-but still—!"
"Maybe we should, umm, not talk about all of Pinkie's family drama right now?" Fluttershy suggested. "She's already upset and sad, and this isn't helping."
"No, it's—it's okay," Pinkie said with a sniffle and a sad smile. "Actually, it does kinda help to talk about this stuff with somebody other than my therapist."
"You have a therapist?" Rainbow asked in disbelief.
"Well of course I do, Dashie," Pinkie said with a roll of her eyes. "I mean, duh!"
"Well it's just—I mean—" Rainbow stammered. "No offense, but when I think of 'Pinkie Pie' and 'therapist', it's usually more like, 'I spent the day with Pinkie Pie and now I need a therapist'!"
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried indignantly.
"Oh my GOSH, Rainbow!" Twilight yelled.
Pinkie, however, giggled and doubled over, clutching her tummy. "Heeheehee, good one, Dashie!" she snorted. "Hahahaha...th-thanks..." She wiped tears from her eyes. "I needed that," she said sincerely, giving her friend a sad smile.
"But why didn't you talk to any of us about this stuff before?" Sunset asked. "We're your friends, you know we're always here for you, right?"
"I know," Pinkie said, calming down. "And it's not like—I mean, it's—" She took a moment to collect herself. "It's just that what's going on with my family is stuff nobody can really do anything about and I know you'd all want to try to help and you'd want to meet Marble, but that...really wouldn't help, and all it'd do is make you girls sad like me." She looked down at her drums. "I want to see my friends smile, and that...wouldn't make anybody smile."
A sober silence fell over the group.
"Hey," Rainbow said. "If you ever need to talk about this stuff again, we're all here for you. Right, girls?"
"Absolutely," Applejack said.
"Of course, darling."
"You know it," Sunset said. The others agreed.
Pinkie smiled. "Thanks, girls. Really." She wiped her eyes one last time. "Listen, I'm...I'm gonna head home early, okay? I wanna check on Marble."
"Sure thing," Sunset said. "Let us know if you need anything, okay?"
"Thanks, I will."
* * * * *
When Pinkie got home, she found all the curtains drawn and the kitchen and living room lights on. She walked into the kitchen and found Marble sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Marble looked up, blinked, and slunk down in her seat.
"Hi Marble! You decided to get up, huh?"
"M—mm-hmm," Marble murmured.
Pinkie walked over and bent down, wrapping her sister in a hug. Marble stiffened, but relaxed into her hug. "I'm glad to see you up," Pinkie said. "Mind if I join you?"
"Mm-hmm," Marble mumbled, pointing at the chair across from her with her spoon.
Pinkie made herself a sundae and sat down. "Feeling better today?"
"Mmm..." Marble shrugged, gesturing vaguely with her spoon.
"Did you eat breakfast?"
"Mm-hmm."
"I see you took a bath."
"Mm-hmm."
"Did you eat lunch?"
"Mm-mm."
"Did you take Beezie out?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Good." Pinkie ate ice cream in silence for a minute. "It's just gonna be us tonight," she said. "Limestone's gotta work late and Maud has a date."
"Okay." Marble bit her lip. "You're friends with Shimmercode, right?"
Pinkie blinked. "Shimmerco—oh, you mean Sunset Shimmer? Yeah, why?"
Marble poked her fingertips together. "Can—can you find out what game she's streaming tonight?" she asked meekly.
"Sure, I can text and ask," Pinkie said with a shrug. "Why?"
Marble blushed. "I was kind of hoping she'd be streaming something with online play," she said. "Maybe something I could—?"
Pinkie's eyes lit up, and a happy smile blossomed on her face.
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I've, personally never had depression. I've had times where I've not felt as good as I usually do, but not actual depression, but a friend of mine does have depression and they have confided in me what it's like. So, I do my absolute best to do my best to help them in any way I can. Even if it's just a shitty pun. That last part should surprise nobody that knows me well enough. Shitty puns are my raisin d’être.
I wish I could thumb up this chapter separate from the rest of the story. I really love it.
Hope things get easier for you.
This may seem weird coming from a stranger on the internet, but if you ever want to talk, or even just vent, just ask.
Thank you for writing this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VJMpkk_CsU
Acedia is murder, it feels like a weight draped over your shoulders that keeps getting heavier. People think depression is about feeling sad? No, depression is about not feeling anything at all.
Thank goodness my ADHD occupies a larger share of my mind, I'd rather be manic than an inert statue.
Sunset x Marble... i ship it
This... this was uncomfortably real, and I mean that in a very good way. The translation of the characters, the portrayal of the especially bad depressive episode, the resolution that shows that it does get better... I can see why this took you a while. It came out very well.
The goat was kind of weird, mind you, but it does work.
Well.....this.....might've hit close to home; unfortunately I've not quite gotten the nerve to check my own mental health.....but I do know my father's and.....it's similar to Marble (laying in bed all day, not picking up/cleaning after himself, etc). I could go on but I'll instead switch over to this.....it was a good.
This hit close to home.
9520397
Amen, it isn't that you feel down all the time, it is that if someone puts a gun to your head and threatens to pull the trigger the response would be a dull 'huh, whatever'.
When I was younger I had problems with my stepmother which led me to almost committing suicide twice but I was too scared to actually go through with it.
Welp now I have to ship Sunset and Marble.
A pox upon the NHK conspiracy.
https://www.befrienders.org/
This was a very somber chapter, with a lot of feels. I could tell it had that...personal touch that only someone who has experienced the topic in question could give. Still an enjoyable read, as always.
9520468
hehe gotta love "Star vs the forces of evil"
Is Marble gonna stream-snipe Sunset?
Sunset has another fan.
Marble has a crush on Sunset Shimmer
This...this hit home hard. And...that moment when Marble actually moved to reach out like that? It...I'm crying.
A thought - what would Marble's handle be?
Yeah, depression is a bitch and a half. I hope I never get that bad, though
This chapter is too real for me. My sister was in a bad place with depression a few years ago. It sucked. Thankfully, she’s found meds that work.
Depression hurts. Friendship can help.
9520431
In other words, the emotion isn't sadness, but apathy? Hmm... once again I have to wonder if I have a minor case or not, like my own sister. I don't THINK so, but...
Ok, well done chapter but... are you ok? I've read your recent chapter in "Gone Wild" as well as "Shadow Prey" also not too distantly passed, and then comes serious depression...
One of your best works Moth.
Okay, there needs to be a sequel chapter to this where Sunset finds out Marble watches her streams.
As a content creator, it would be amazing for Sunset to experience a fan showing how much their content has meant to them.
Thank you for explaining this so well.
Probably one of the most hard hitting, heartfelt depictions of depression I've ever seen in any work of fiction. And I hope that, whatever you're going through, you're doing okay.
This might be a long comment, but here goes...
I'm 49 years old, and turn 50 in November. I am straight up a Gen X'er. And when I was a kid, and a teen, we were only just acknowledging publically the issues and potentially genetic issues behind depression and other psychological disorders. Autism wasn't even a word I heard spoken until much later in life, and it was generally thought that medicine wouldn't help depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder (simply called manic depressive back then).
I honestly do not know how many of my friends were suffering. How many were severely depressed? How many fighting anxiety, or even dealing with being on the spectrum in a world where the term neurotypical had not even been invented?
My Junior/Senior year of High School, 1986, saw a suicide rate of 13.1 per 100,000 people between 15-24.
But 30 years later, in 2016, where there was medical help, understanding, and a growing awareness of the problems of depression... it was 20.1 per 100,000 of the same age group.
It's even worse for older people, especially my own current age group. In 1986, the rate was 16.7 per 100,000 aged 45 - 64. In 2016? 30. Nearly double.
Why, ***dammit, WHY is it rising? There's help, there's understanding, there's medical assistance, there is so much my generation didn't have as kids and young adults.
Please. If you need help, GET IT. If you have a friend who needs help, then try and convince them to get it. If a friend's behaviour changes, whether suddenly or slowly, ask. If you need medicine to keep self destructive behaviours at bay, take it. There are too many brilliant lights snuffing themselves out, and it's a devastating tragedy.
The poet Dylan Thomas wrote, "Do not go gentle into that good night / Rage, rage against the dying of the light." And I wish more people could find the strength to do so.
... Sorry, rant over. But this chapter in an otherwise slice of life story, drawing on a character we've met on the pony side, but not the human side, has far more impact than a similar story as a standalone. By drawing on a known character, it has more impact than any number of 1980's and 90's "very special episodes", which introduce a new character only for the problem of the week, with no impact on the show or the audience. And I think it really hit me in a very sensitive spot right now.
9520635
You'll know it's depression when you just stop caring about ANYTHING. We're talking you don't even care about eating when you're hungry. Your stomach can be growling and it's almost too much effort to grab a handful of Cheez-Its and then it's only because the box is right there in the bed with you. If they weren't right there, it'd be too much effort to bother.
That's the place I was in just a couple of weeks ago. I'm relieved I've crawled up out of there for now, and I hope I'm not there again for a long time.
9520639
When I'm having a depressive episode, I can't write at all and I have ZERO sex drive. The stuff you're "worried" about in my fics? That's just me doing me, I happen to like my porn a little on the rapey side.
Dude, I can only write stuff like that when I'm not having a depressive episode.
Depression is feeling numb, because (afaik) on those episodes where you do feel anything it's a just a downward spiral; so you sail past that, unknowingly, into a void. One that should be vast but is crushingly tiny. I'm not sure I'd actually arrived there way back.
Get up. Wash? No. I'm not meeting anyone. Nobody's coming over either. Raise the curtains? Oh. It's already way past noon. Screen gives off enough light for me. Missed every class today. Doesn't matter. Got no new game, though. Read a bit? Food is low, but I'd need to go to the ATM first. No.
Sit in the dark. Cry. Look at the metal thing. Would it hurt? Knife's kinda dull. Not today. Probably not ever. Too much of a coward, don't want to hurt too bad.
That wasn't... a pleasant time.
9520923
I'm shuddering at how familiar that all sounds.
That hit uncomfortably close to home - thankfully mine's not quite as bad as Marble's (my bad days are on par with her good days), but I definitely know how much of a toll it takes on a person.
I am suffering from a light depression myself, combined with autism it's a female dog. I used to be about as bad of a shut-in as Marble in this chapter up until about 6 months ago.
I do volunteer work in a second-hand store with other 'damaged' individuals as colleagues. I gotta tell you it helps to talk with others in the same boat as you, keep eachother grounded and moving forward and polish up your social skills.
Not sure if this helps for anyone else here, but it got me interested in life again.
That ending makes me happy.
makes sense that PP would be on an overdose of Antidepressants tbh, no one is that cheerful without something’s up,
9520916
Oki-doki-loki, guess I've just been around too many real-life horror stories. But we all have our kinks, and like I said, well written.
Well... I think I can pretty much agree with most of everyone here, I know that feel, more or less. Sometimes you just get so... out of it you don't want to do anything, and it sucks..
And friends do help.
This was a nicely done chapter, well written...
Good show, man, good show.
Am I the only one who wants to see Sunset Shimmer have some online game time with Marble?
Marble could definitely use another friend, and there's no more epic friend than Sunset Shimmer.
9520923
Sounds familiar.
Need to eat? Nah, don't feel eating. I'll just drink some gatorade, that's as good as food.
Stomach hurts because you're literally digesting yourself, and loosing weight at a dangerous level? Nah. I don't feel like getting out of bed, and I already feel fat (even when otherwise I know I'm nearing dangerously underweight.).
Have a lot of friends online that you hang out with on chat? I have no energy to talk to anyone and don't want to be a bother.
Have stories to write? Why bother, I'll just let everyone down and waste everybodies time. And I don't have the time anyways (sleeping, or finding the energy to care. With the thought in the back of the mind that "everything dies, and in the end, noone will remember me or anything I do. So why bother with anything? It's not important, and neither am I.")
Need to bathe? Why bother it's not I was being particularly active the last few days. Simply laying on a couch doesn't burn that many calories.
But yeah ... that calm nothingness is a familiar feeling. Never considered myself depressed though ... just have episodes where I just don't care about living (not suicidal), or about anything. There's just ... nothing. Thankfully I haven't felt like that all that often these last 9 mo.
____________
___________
Hope you and MM are feeling alright though, and things have been getting better for y'all.
This one feels more real and impactful honestly. Glad you got to a point where you could do it. You did a great job honestly.
9520923
Been there. I walked in the middle of the road of my neighborhood for a reason.
Glad I'm not there anymore, but there are days.
Yeah, it's a bitch. Some get better, other have to learn to live with it.
I'm in the latter catagory. You smile because you don't want others to feel bad or realize how bad you are; because then they'll spend time or money trying to help you, but you don't want to be a burden. They want you to talk about how your feeling, or express what's getting you down... but, you can't. It can be like the world is full of color and feelings, but your surrounded by a bubble of men and all you want is the world to pass you by until the next time you can experience that color again or it all ends.
I've been on suicide watch, been in an institution and seen a therepist. All of that before junior high. Stayed on meds till my freshman year, before I weaned myself off of them. Doctor did say I was too intelligent not to be able to lie my way out of the hospital. I'm still not alright, still feel like I'm broken in some way.
But I have responsibilities now. So I try to bury my anger and my meh, so I can get out of bed and try and hold a job. And I try and find things that will make me smile willingly, like a certain colorful kids show and some of the stories it's fans have made.
Thank you all.
9520864
It's hard to say. Is it that more people have it, or is it just recognized, and thus diagnosed, more? It's possible the answer is "both", but we may never know.
...this hit way too close for me to even consider laughing at it.
These feelings I feel....
I don't want them, but I need them. I need to feel sadness again, lest I lose myself.
This chapter made me feel something, something I haven't felt in so long I'm still in shock. Thank you.
9521724
I would hope you weren't laughing at this chapter, it wasn't the least bit funny.
9521228
9521196
9520929
I am very fortunate to have a very, very loving family who pulled me out of that. My sister and me both, as that one almost starved herself because she thought she had to choose between rent and food money. She didn't, she just never talked to anyone about it. She got better too. Recently had a baby, a real sunshine.