Nopony yawned and peeked out of the box, it was raining. Next to him was Scootaloo shivering. He pulled her in close with his wing.
"What were you doing out in the rain?" He asked.
"I wasn't, I'm sick." Scootaloo sniffed.
"Oh, that's unfortunate."
Nopony got up, and started trotting out into the rain.
"Hey, where are you going?!" Scootaloo yelled.
She watched as he walked out of the alleyway, 5 minutes later, he was still gone.
"Stupid garbage swan..." Scootaloo muttered.
Scootaloo turned over and tried to go back to sleep. Ten minutes later, she felt something lift her up. Nopony laid her head against a pillow and draped a blanket over her.
"So I was going to get you chicken soup." Nopony ruffled through a bag.
Scootaloo glared at him.
"So I did," Nopony said as he put down a can of soup.
Scootaloo stared at the can of chicken soup.
"I hate you."
"That's just the illness talking, I would say it's the hunger talking, but you're always hungry. Anyway, I also got you lentil soup and some cold medicine."
"Is that the kind you dissolve in a glass of water?"
"Yeah."
"Where are you going to get a glass, let alone water right now?"
Nopony looked around him, his eyes stopping on the can of chicken soup, he opened and dumped it out in the alleyway and left it in the rain to fill full of water.
"You're giving me cold medicine in a can of chicken soup?" Scootaloo whined.
"Hey, whatever works."
"Ugh, fine... Alright wise guy, what are you gonna do to heat up the lentil?"
Nopony stared at the lentil soup, and then back at Scootaloo. Without saying a word he grabbed the soup and walked out of the alleyway. Taking his time, he slowly trotted over to Twilight's castle and walked in without knocking. Nopony made his way into the library.
"What the- who are you?" Twilight frowned as a dirty stallion walked past her.
"Hey, I'm gonna borrow these real quick." Nopony started grabbing Twilight's favorite romance novels off her personal shelf.
"What? No! Who are you, why are you here?!"
Nopony set them down on the floor in front of her. He stood up on his hind legs, grabbed his member, and started peeing on her books.
Twilight watched in horror.
"There we go." Nopony shook out what was left. "You can have em back now."
"Wh... ah... aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"
Nopony watched as Twilight's mane and tail caught on fire. Quickly, he stuck the lentil soup in her mane for a second.
"YOU," She screamed, "HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING YOU MONSTER! I'LL- HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! COME BACK! YOU CAN'T JUST..."
Nopony passed by Spike on his way to the kitchen.
"Hey Spike, Twilight needs you to clean up some books that got peed on in her private library."
"Again?!" Spike threw his arms up in defeat.
Nopony walked into the kitchen and grabbed one of Twilight's bowls, he dumped the piping hot soup into it. When he turned around Twilight stood in the doorway, with her mane still on fire.
"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" She screamed.
Nopony trotted over to Twilight, swept her off her hooves, and kissed her.
"Twilight... Will you marry me?" Nopony stared deep into her eyes.
"I... buh... wuh..." Twilight stuttered.
Nopony dropped her on the floor, picked up the bowl of lentil with his wings, and trotted out of the kitchen.
Holding the soup close so it wouldn't get rained on, he trotted out of the castle and back to his alleyway. He gave a slight nod of approval when he saw that Scootaloo drank her medicine.
Scootaloo frowned when she saw the bowl of warm soup.
"How did you do that," she asked, "and why is your hoof all burnt up?"
"I took a piss."
...
"Did you pee into this bowl of soup?" Scootaloo accused.
"Maybe." Nopony shrugged.
...
"Just gimme the stupid soup." Scootaloo sighed.
Scootaloo woke up feeling a lot better. She turned her body sideways and snuggled in closer to Nopony. Absentmindedly, she glanced at her pillow.
It had a pillow sheet decorated with chickens.
"Oh come on!"
66.media.tumblr.com/7bfdcf26c059a8b40f7e8096ed6a2d45/tumblr_inline_mmtm7f3Mf51qz4rgp.gif
THE END.
There's something wrong with you, in all the right ways.
inb4 Twilight puts up a bounty.
She is ignored.
Best chapter!
This was amazing. Absolutely amazing.
Wow.
There was no chocolate pudding. I demand my money back. Every single penny back to me.
You know how the internet gets about it's chocolate
Poor Twilight. She must be so confused.
Inb4 someone writes a side story where Twilight traces Nopony back to Celestia and this happens.
So about that marriage proposal...
In that case, come say hello to your soon to be step daughter.
Bwha!?
Hah, wonder how badly Twilight would break if she found out Nopony was Celestia. Or if Celestia ever did it again without the disguise.
Twilight has encountered a fatal error.
7221595
7221622
Yes! This is still going-ish!
.... You've been running lines of scratch-n-sniff pony pictures again haven't you.
This may be, the greatest thing, ever, of all time.
7221697 JUST DO IT! DO IIIIITTTTTT!!!!!
Poor Scootaloo she still gets trolled with the pillow but Twilight got trolled harder by Nopony who knew her so well.
I Can't Stop Laughing.
Just.....
Give.....
Me....
A... Second
HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE
7221588 I concur.
Even while on vacation, Trollestia never stops working
..
I don't even...
...
I'm out of words...
...
(Are you happy now?)
It ain't over yet.
The fact Nopony is Celestia makes it funnier.
It was a more than unexpected but adorable surprise to see this having apparently updated during my absence. I'm glad, been wanting to read so much more of these two again. <3
The Amusement Park and Garbage Dump:
Scootaloo once again proves to be a most wise and practical pony. #Selfraised #Unfiltered
We're all half Centuar:
Rolls for comment initiative (1)
The joints in your fingers snap out of place as bones shatter on contact in poor attempt to express one's feelings through textual means.
You try face-rolling on your keyboard and roll for dexterity, (1), but fall unconscious from the repetitive slamming of face onto desk. The Author was unable to process your feelings on this chapter.
Pop Quiz:
And they said multiple choice was easy. Though now all I can imagine is a certain starry maned pony sneaking into ponies' fridges and cabinets for sweet treats. Guessing somepony took that one holiday to mean she now has free range of all sweets in Equestria I suppose. There was going to be a cross reference with Slavery and being trapped on the moon for a thousand years thus is why they put up with her antics and or just not willing to tell her she can't do those things, but I'll avoid such implications that I in no way tossed out in this comment whatsoever.
Mother's Day:
And thus they spent the rest of the day staring through the new sunroof together.
THE END
Parental Authority:
Go ask your Father
Making Chocolate Pudding:
Sad part is I can see an ocd freak like Twilight falling for a dirty stallion if you ask me. The primal side of her would kick in and overwhelm her senses if they had an alluring enough musky smell to them. The kind that overrides a mare's basic common senses which could leave her pondering the meaning of life. After all it's not every day someone whips it out and asks you to marry them.
Story feels more filling now. So very glad you choose to add more to this. I feel satisfied enough now should it no longer continue from here. <3
Wat...
7223069 That hinges on Luna being powerful enough to take down Celestia. And on Luna being capable of moving the sun, it's a significantly bigger celestial body to move. In the former they can't do jack shit to Celestia, and in the later they're fucked without her.
alicorn piss with chicken soup and cold medicine, the great remedy.
I did NOT expect THAT to happen, but it was funny alright!
7223540
7221697
I'm getting a vibe here that a lot of people secretly want a NoxLight ship.
7231384
Maayyybe.
7231384 Sounds like a spin-off series to me but given the story stylin I would have to say it'd be a natural fit for a
n egomaniac/control freaklovingly nerdy princesswith as much social grace as a potato in a bowl of oatmeal. Maybe she can find answers in how to deal with her new found libido in a book and why of all ponies would she psychologically ever feel wracked with sexually confusing thoughts over a dirty stallion in a book.. after all, books never lie!I'm blathering on to myself again, but yes, I do love a good serving of any piece of fiction that mentally breaks Twilight Sparkle, in good jest of course. I'm not sadistic at all... nope. Totally don't have an addiction to reading Twilight being mentally bucked with. Nope!
derpicdn.net/img/2012/9/11/94923/full.gif
7208240
Also, preformed is past tense for performed.
Edit: DISREGARD THIS, JUST CHOKING ON MY OWN SPIT OVER HERE-
Do you really want Celestia to be in a relationship that involves her constantly coming up with justifications for why not to break it up?
7233157
?
7233159 Worst
friendlover.my vocabulary is not large enough to give me the words to express just how funny this was to read
7233317
Oh, if I were to ship Nopony, it'd be a one shot joke thing or another story.
Even through I was expecting something odd, this chapter was even more odd.
1) It's odd to imagine Princess Celestia with something like that. 2) I didn't expect this to come out of a rated T story. 3) This is rated T?
Wut.
So much Wut.
I can even begin to describe this much Wut.
7246817 Does it matter? I haven't laughed this hard in ages!
Which also sucks, as I'm currently sick. Bleck.
Without a doubt Spike's greatest and only line in this story is the greatest line in this story.
for some reason this came to mind;
I'm starting to think Celestia has some serious issues repressed. That garbage swan needs a therapist.
This... this version of Celestia is fuckin amazing I love it so much.
Good show!
she done this more than once...
WHAT SORT OF WITCHCRAFT DO YOU ENCHANT YOUR STORIES WITH TO GET ME TO LITERALLY LOL SO MUCH?! O.O
Again?
This was a pleasant chapter.
7407257
Ok, so the sound was broken. I looked it up and found another video of it elsewhere. Worlds cannot express how much it fits! xD
Trollestia turns it up to 11.
9439058
Last two times Trixie broke in.