Celestia read and reread her latest letter from Twilight, and then let out a long and weary sigh as she set it down on the table.
"I am angry," she declared. "Angry about dragons."
Cadance cocked an eyebrow at Celestia's stoic expression, seemingly contradicting her claims. "That's... that's what you look like angry, Auntie? You look pretty calm to me."
"I assure you I am seething. Twilight just sent me a summary of her events in the Dragonlands."
"Oh?" Luna cocked her head with genuine curiosity. "Anything interesting?"
"It is a damn miracle they did not burn themselves to ash long ago," Celestia said. "Twilight says they had to compete for dominant right to rule in... in, barbarian games. So, our next door neighbours, the fire-breathing behemoths, must follow the will of a ruler selected merely by his physical capabilities. Oh, and those who aren't considered strong are discouraged from competing."
"Wow," Cadance said. "That is kinda troubling."
"I mean fortunately, the ruler who was victorious seems somewhat capable—as in, not willing to go to war for the purpose of going to war—but again this is only thanks to the intervention of Twilight and her friends. Had it not been for a moment's hesitation on the part of Spike, we'd be in the middle of a hostile invasion by the dragons performed on completely tactless grounds." Celestia gave another weary sigh. "It is somewhat troubling to know how frequently a thousand years worth of effort on my part to keep this place peaceful and content could be shattered by the will of such..."
"Degenerates?" Luna offered. "Barbarians? Buffoons?"
"Uh... not something I would say myself, but if you wish." Celestia rolled her eyes. "I mean, first of all, arbitrarily ditching good leaders 'just because' doesn't make a lot of sense, but even so I don't understand why creatures gravitate towards us with hostile intent. The Yaks, the Changelings, the Dragons. Why am I being punished by other nations for being a good leader?"
"They're probably jealous. Or maybe we live on a really big leyline." Cadance shrugged. "Historically, have you two ever ticked any of them off?"
"Not that I can recall," Celestia shook her head. "Luna?"
"Nope." Luna pursed her lips. "Well, actually, maybe Chrysalis."
Cadance and Celestia stared.
"It's a long story."
Luna fiddled with the basket of toast condiments.
"A long and boring story," she added. "Involving ladybugs."
Cadance and Celestia continued to stare.
"Let's just say I did some things during a formal meeting with them a few centuries ago and changelings are really easily offended," Luna said. "In my defense I thought it was customary."
Celestia facehoofed. "On second thought, I don't believe I wish to hear the details."
"I think the most troubling revelation of all of this..." Cadance mused. "...Is that the three of us are technically the most sane rulers this place has. Or at least the only non-warmongering ones."
"That... is a little troublesome," Celestia agreed. A glance across the table at Luna, building a castle out of jam and cream packages and sticking out her tongue in concentration, and sane was hardly the first word to click into Celestia's mind.
Luna's jam castle promptly fell, the blue alicorn cursed, and then rejoined their conversation as though nothing had happened.
"Y'know what I think is the most troublesome thing?" she asked. "How me and Celly took the throne."
"Wait... what?" Celestia cocked her head. "How is that troublesome?"
"'How could they possibly pick an adolescent ruler based solely on her physical capabilities?"' Luna poorly imitated Celestia's voice. "You tell me, Miss We-Defeated-Discord-When-We-Were-Young-And-Then-Became-Rulers."
"Huh." Celestia blinked. "I think I just accidentally discredited my own rule."
"Eh, don't beat yourself up," Cadance said. "You're doing fine, Auntie. A thousand-plus years of peace and happy ponies is kind of a bragging right. You've got a pretty stacked resume if Equestria ever decides to rebel against you and boot you off the throne."
"Gee. Thanks, Cadance," Celestia rolled her eyes again. Then, she gave Luna a faux-glare. "Y'know, if anypony deserves the blame, it's probably Luna. Tell me, sister, why the bulk of all conflict we faced occurred directly before and after your banishment?"
Luna snickered. "Maybe I'm a living leyline? Personally, I'm more curious why our attackers suddenly feel that their chances for successful invasions would be increased by the introduction of three other alicorns and a problem-solving-rainbow-friendship-nuke."
Celestia and Cadance nodded their agreement.
"So what are you going to do about the dragons, Auntie Celly?" Cadance asked.
"Nothing, hopefully. I'll meet with Princess Ember, do my best to put in place lasting relations between us, and perhaps out of this whole ordeal I can go back to not being punished for my failure to warmonger. I mean good heavens, a break from being under threat of invasion long enough to have lunch with Twilight would be nice."
Luna gave a snorting laugh and Cadance shook her head sadly.
"At the rate it's been happening recently? Not likely, Auntie."