When you think about it, we're all half Centuar.
"Hey Scootaloo."
"Yeah Sweetiebelle?"
"Where's Princess Celestia?"
"Dumpster diving."
"Why is Princess Celestia dumpster diving?" Sweetiebelle scrunched up her nose.
"The same reason she's living with me in a cardboard box." Scootaloo shrugged.
Sweetiebelle blinked.
"Oh hey! Here she comes!"
The two watched as Nopony trotted back with a spring in his step. He was completely covered in garbage.
"Yeah uh..." Sweetiebelle got up. "I'll see you later."
"Bye Sweets."
Sweetiebelle waved goodbye to Scootaloo as Nopony walked by.
"Hey Nopony."
"Hey Sweetie." He nodded towards her. "Yo kid, check out what I found!"
"What?" Scootaloo got up from her spot.
Nopony proudly presented a D20.
"What." Scootaloo frowned.
"Hey, don't give me that look!"
"You went dumpster diving for a stupid die?"
"One pony's trash is another's treasure~" Nopony sang, "besides, these things are really fun!"
"Nopony, it's a dumb little piece of plastic with numbers on it."
"Come on, gimme a chance here."
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Alright, whatever..."
Nopony sat down next to Scootaloo and stared at her very seriously.
"...What?" Scootaloo looked nervous.
Nopony rolled the die.
1
"You have the mental composure of bucket of fried oats put next to a 400 pound pony. Your try to force your eyes shut, but it cannot stop the visions. You realized that cats are a 4th dimensional creature that can move through space and time at will, and we can only see them in the third dimension. That's the reason they never really seem to care about anything ever. It doesn't really change your life, but you're still full of the heebie jeebies. "
Scootaloo stopped to process that.
She failed.
"What." she finally said.
"Rolling for sanity loss." Nopony responded.
1
"You are just absolutely losing it." Nopony said in a theatrical tone "You start running through the town in a panic, screaming about cats and fat ponies. Everypony assumes it's a monster attack and start to collectively soil themselves."
"What."
"Rainbow dashes up to you and asks what's wrong."
"Wait, what?!? U- uhhh, tell her everything's fine!"
20
"Time slows down as you brush your mane out of your face. An explosion goes off in the background behind you, blowing up at least three buildings. Your teeth literally sparkle so hard Twilight is feeling inadequate about her last name. You turn your head towards Rainbow and fix her a cool smile. Rainbow Dash is so blown away, she is literally blown away by the explosion, as is everypony else except you. A forcefield made of your suave looks surrounds you, keeping you completely safe."
"Woah." Scootaloo stared at Nopony in awe. "Roll to trot away like I just don't care."
1
"You land and impale yourself on a skateboard." Nopony said with a straight face.
"Ah! Roll for damage control!"
20
"You are completely unharmed."
"What is with this die?!?"
"In fact, you are at complete peace with the skateboard. You two have practically become one."
"I- I don't know how to feel about that." Scootaloo stuttered.
"Rolling to see how you feel about that!" Nopony grinned.
20
"You have formed a unbreakable bond with the skateboard, its name is Radical Rex."
"What."
"Radical Rex has joined your party!"
...
"What." Scootaloo repeated.
"Radical Rex begs you for help." Nopony continued, "Applebloom has been possessed by the spirit of Nightmare Moon. Only you can save her."
"Wha- ugh, screw it. Alright, go to find Applebloom."
"You find her sitting in a cardboard box with Princess Celestia."
Scootaloo glared at Nopony.
"What?" Nopony rolled around the dice in his hoof.
"Alright, whatever. What's Celestia doing?"
"Snoring in a box, you've never seen her in such a undignified manner."
"I see that crap every day."
"What?"
"Nothing, so what's Applebloom doing?"
"She yells 'You're bloomin' for a doomin' and makes rude gestures."
"Well I tell her she's scootin' for a bootin'!"
"Radical Rex high fives you."
"With... with wha-ahhh nevermind. Attempt to attack Appledoom."
1
"You go to sucker punch her in the stomach, but instead slowly caress it."
"Woah, what?!?"
"Appledoom attacks!"
1
"Appledoom tried to slam down on your back, but instead gently massages it. Both of you are getting incredibly uncomfortable. Radical Rex asks if he should leave."
"No, he can't leave! Tell him to attack!"
1
"Radical Rex shoots you in the back of the head."
...
"With what?!?" Scootaloo screams.
"With his bow, of course, he's multi classing archer and rogue."
"I- Bu- Uh- Ahhhhgh!" Scootaloo's eye started to twitch.
"That was a good session." Nopony smiled.
"What the heck just happened?" Sweetiebelle said.
Both of them looked outside the cardboard box to where Sweetiebelle was.
"How long have you been there?" Nopony frowned.
"The whole time. What was that?" Sweetiebelle frowned in concern. "That was weird, you guys are weird."
Scootaloo's eye was still twitching.
"Is this what you guys do all day?" Sweetie asked.
"Pretty much yeah." Nopony shrugged.
"Ooooookay then... I'm going home."
Nopony watched Sweetie leave as Scootaloo twitched in place for the next ten minutes.
"That was the stupidest game I have ever played," Scootaloo calmly spoke up. "Now hand me that die, I wanna play again."
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That made no sense... But I fell off the chair laughing so good job!
whaaaat
GG
Every DnD game I have every played
D&D game in a nutshell if you have a fun DM.
10 and lower, round down to one. 11 and higher, round up to 20.
Or just get a die with only 20s and 1s.
You have an incomplete map of the left side of the region you and your shipmates have landed on, you are being paid by several nobles to slay a dragon in the west and to complete the map of the surrounding area... The players go East.
I want that d20 so hard right now.
That is completely how D&D works.
No questions asked.
What the heck did this have to do with being half centaur?
I just finished reading a RPG fic, nice timing!
6764232 Nothing at all...because where's the fun in making sense.
6764160 or... Use a coin.
I'm so using that.
I do but don't care about the rest. THIS WAS THE BEST CHAPTER EVVVAAAAARRR!!!!??!!!!!!!!
Swear to god if this story ends w/out 365 chapters I'll...
I love this story so much
6764464
No way. then you wouldn't be able to use it on attack rolls and skill checks. You need a d20 for those.
Have you ever suppressed a laugh so hard that it hurts? That's me right now. I humbly request more chapters to dull the pain... Or make it worse.
What's that board made of; same meteorite as the arrow?
This whole story is a literary masterpiece and I need more of it
SALT. Just... SALT.
6764190 Loaded dice.
6777678
That... could work. Though for a d20, it'd need to be a very fine drill job (or a very large d20), and then you'd need, like, a little column for some metal bead or bar to slid up and down, otherwise you'd only get 1's or 20's, not both. Still, do-able.
6777680 The die can only land on one side at a time. As long as you load both the 1 and the 20, the odds of it landing on one or the other of the two are actually pretty good. It's not as surefire as loading a normal die, of course, but it'd certainly help stack the odds.
6777685
On most d20 (if not all) the 20 and the 1 are on opposite sides. I'd prolly drill in from the 0 of the 20 almost all the way through the die. Then load a tiny bead or other bit of metal into the hole before sealing it back up and painting over the seal. That way, while the 20 and the 1 are most likely to be rolled, I can't control which one it is. When I said 'both' I didn't mean both results at once.
6777757 Two sides of a D20 add up to 21 typically, I'm aware of that. What you don't seem to realize is that weighing a number increases the odds of the die settling on that number. You could quite literally load four or five of those numbers and it wouldn't matter on what part of the die they're at. Ultimately, all loading does is increase the odds of it landing on a particular number.
6777801 ... I feel like we're both agreeing with each other, but failing rather dramatically at expressing it.
6777801
6777757
How would you even load a die that way? Normal loaded dice (as far as I know at least) just contain weights on one side, so it's more likely that side faces down. This is due to the center of mass no longer being at the center of the dice, thus due to the lever effect, it makes it more likely for the die to land on the side towards which the center of mass is shifted. If you try to put weights on opposite sides of the die, the center of mass stays in the center and thus behaves just like a normal die.
In fact, even with Scruffy's idea, it wouldn't work ideally. With centrifugal force, the weight would likely stay where it was initially, thus the die almost always being loaded towards the side which you were holding it on at the start.
6781524
There is another way to do it, but it's trickier and I don't know how well it'd work on a D20.
The idea is to make the faces you don't want the die to land on slightly convex, those edges rounder and the one you want down either properly flat or slightly concave with slightly sharper edges. The die rolls more easily on the other faces and only 'hits' the table on the face you want. I think a D20 might be too round to start for that to work, but you could conceivably do it to two faces. And, as always, it'd only up the odds of it landing where you wanted.
This whole story has amused me greatly.
6799868
I'm a real big fan of Long Road to Friendship and Sunlight. Whenever I get a compliment from someone who wrote I story I really like, I feel tickled, so thank you!
I don't even know.
Ah, roleplaying.
6833236 moreso ive always just liked apple jelly, since i was like 4.
6877261
A house, as in the house she canonically lives in in the show. Which, judging from the decor and the way her room's set up, she lives in alone.
Well, this story was unexpectedly touching and frankly often quite hilarious.
Have a fave and a thank you for writing it
*Alondro eye-narrows and leans over to Mr. Lucky sitting in his lap* The author knows too much... you know what to do...
6766034 this is true
I've never played D&D, but I can tell this is how it's meant to be played
Oh god... if this is what D&D is supposed to be like, then I am missing out... badly.
.....This is somehow literary/comedy gold....Wat?
Dang, now I have to favorite.
I recently took to doing this with a 12 year old. In our various travels, we have slain several dragons and been slain many times by random old guys and the occasional ninja. And the best part is doing it completely off the cuff and without following any rules in particular, way simpler than full blown D&D.
???
"it's name is Radical Rex"
its
Best RPG ever. Roll to make sense of this.
1
I tried to reread this chapter, but I soon learn I was reading the comments section for a clopfic.
7210311
CAN'T
STOP
LAUGHING
Every D&D game ever! This chapter was just too funny.
Absurd, in a funny way.