Scootaloo looked around with a wary, glazed look in her eye.
Nopony sat down next to her. "Hey kid."
Scootaloo blinked.
"Kid?"
"...Where am I?" She slurred.
"You're at the dentist office." Nopony said quietly.
"Huh?"
"You got your wisdom teeth taken out."
"...What? No, I'm..." Scootaloo blinked, repeatedly.
"Thirsty?" Nopony held out a glass of water.
Scootaloo took the glass of water and stared at it.
"Kid?" Nopony cocked an eyebrow.
Scootaloo continued to mindlessly stare at the glass of water.
Nopony got up from his seat. "Okay, let's-"
Scootaloo poured the glass of water on Nopony.
"Just kidding dude!" Scootaloo grinned.
"What?!" Nopony laughed, "you can't just pour water-"
"Just kidding!"
"-on somepony and-"
"Dude, just kidding!" Scootaloo poured more water on Nopony.
"Okay, okay stop!" Nopony chuckled and took the glass away from her. "Here..."
Nopony held the glass to Scootaloo lips as she drank.
"Where am I?" Scootaloo frowned.
"The dentist office?"
"What?"
"You got your wisdom teeth pulled out."
"What? No, we need to..." Scootaloo trailed off.
Nopony gently picked her up, set her on his back, and started moving.
"Thank you, Doctor." Nopony said as they passed by him.
"You're welcome, and how is our little buddy doing?" The doctor smiled at Scootaloo.
Scootaloo blinked.
"Still out of it, huh? Did she just wake up?"
"Woah hey!" Scootaloo yelled.
"Yes?" The doctor took a half step back.
"Woah, hey, you dropped something!" Scootaloo pointed towards the ground.
The doctor raised a hoof to grab whatever he dropped, only to have Scootaloo grab and shake it.
"Your standards! Hey handsome, I'm..." Scootaloo trailed off.
"Scootaloo?" Nopony cocked a brow.
"No, I'm sexy! Wait..." She frowned.
"Thank you again, Doctor." Nopony started trotting away with Scootaloo.
"Make sure she drinks lots of water!" The doctor said as they turned the corner.
Nopony made his way outside and glanced back at Scootaloo, she stared at the sky in horror.
"You okay there?"
"Huh?" Scootaloo stared at Nopony. "Where am I?"
"Outside, you got your wisdom teeth pulled out."
"What?" Scootaloo blinked. "Nopony help!"
"What's wrong?"
"Nopony!"
"What?"
"Oh maker..." Scootaloo started to wiggle around.
"Scootaloo, what's wrong?"
"Nopony, there is so much food in the world..." Scootaloo sobbed.
"Yes, yes there is. Do you want a smoothie?" Nopony smiled.
"Do you want a hoof sandwich?" Scootaloo threatened.
"No, do you want a smoothie?"
"Yes."
"Alright then." Nopony started trotting towards Golden Harvest's smoothie stand.
A minute later, Nopony hoofed over a smoothie to Scootaloo. She stared at the smoothie in amazement.
"Take slow sips from the cup's lip Scootaloo, try not to use any force in drinking." Nopony gently said.
Scootaloo dumped the smoothie on her head.
Nopony slowly clapped.
Scootaloo moaned as she rubbed the smoothie all over her head.
"Does that feel good?" Nopony asked.
"Get the hell out."
"I'll take that as a yes, another smoothie please."
After handing over a couple of bits, Nopony gave Scootaloo the second smoothie.
"One more time, ignore the straw Scoots, drink from the lip."
Scootaloo stared at the smoothie.
Nopony sighed, "I swear kid-"
Scootaloo dumped the smoothie on Nopony.
"Dammit Scootaloo."
"Just kidding dude!"
"You got me kid."
"Just kidding!"
"Really got me. Once again, another smoothie please."
"This one's on the house." Golden chuckled.
"You're in a stand you dipdo." Scootaloo wobbled.
"Manners kid, you're getting a free smoothie." Nopony started cleaning her head with a napkin.
"Manners can wait, I have things to say!"
"Like what?"
"Why can't... Why can't you just, make the sun suck less..." Scootaloo muttered.
"Mmmhmm." Nopony hummed as he wiped her cheek.
"Derpy!" Scootaloo shouted.
Derpy stopped flying and looked around.
"Oh no Derpy!" Scootaloo reached out to her.
"Scootaloo, what's wrong?!" Derpy ran over to her.
"Derpy!"
"Yes Scootaloo?"
"Derpy!"
"Uh, Scootaloo?"
"Derpy, you look like shit!"
Everypony present stared at Scootaloo.
"Derpy what's wrong with you?!" Scootaloo cried.
"I'm sorry, she got her wisdom teeth pulled out." Nopony apologized.
"What?" Derpy blinked, looking confused.
"Derpy, where am I?!" Scootaloo looked around.
"She on some pretty powerful drugs right now." Nopony explained.
"Oh." Derpy frowned.
"Derpy, you look like shit!" Scootaloo accused again.
"Okay, we're heading home. Thanks for all the smoothies." Nopony saluted the two as picked up Scootaloo and put her on his back.
"Be careful Scootaloo and sexy stranger!" Derpy waved goodbye.
"Thanks Derpy!" Nopony replied.
"STAY AWAY FROM MY MOM!" Scootaloo shouted.
Derpy and Golden quietly watched Nopony turn the corner.
"Do mares have colt parts?" Derpy asked Golden.
"No Derpy, Scootaloo's just high."
"Are you sure?"
"Why do you ask?" Golden raised a brow.
"Cause that mare did."
"You know that's actually a stallion and not a mare right? Also why are you so sure about that?"
"I was staring at them." Derpy explained, looking deep in thought.
"Derpy that's not an appropriate... here, have a smoothie, on me." Golden sighed.
Nopony opened the front door.
"Be careful getting off my back." Nopony instructed.
Scootaloo jumped off Nopony's back and slammed her face against a wall.
"Nailed the landing there." Nopony helped her get on her hooves.
"Where am I?" Scootaloo looked around.
"Home."
"Are you going to vomit in my mouth?"
"No." Nopony opened her bedroom door.
"Only vomit candy!" Scootaloo scolded.
"I promise I will only vomit candy down your throat."
"Don't vomit down Derpy's throat."
"Okay." Nopony tucked Scootaloo into her bed.
"Where are you going?"
Nopony looked back to see Scootaloo give him the biggest puppy eyes. Sighing, he turned around and got in the bed with her.
"Why is your chest fluffy?" Scootaloo asked.
"Pegasi have chest fluff."
"Why?"
"To keep them warm when they're high up in the cold air."
"Mmm." Scootaloo absentmindedly chewed on Nopony's chest fluff.
"Please don't vomit on my chest." Nopony calmly said.
"Mmm..." Scootaloo's chewing slowed down as her eyes closed.
"Uuuuugh..."
Scootaloo woke up with her mouth hurting like crazy.
"Hey there, dry throat?" Nopony walked in with a glass of water.
"Uuuuuhhh!" Scootaloo moaned as she reached out for the glass of water.
Nopony poured the glass of water on her head.
Scootaloo stared at her soaked bed, and then at Nopony.
"Why?" She rasped.
"Just kidding dude." Nopony smiled, then held out a second glass of water he was hiding behind his back.
Scootaloo quickly downed the drink.
"So," Nopony sat down on the bed next to her, "what was being drugged out of your mind like?"
Scootaloo stopped to think for a second.
"...Unbelievable sights~" Scootaloo started singing.
"INDESCRIBABLE FEEEELINGS~" Nopony joined in with her.
...Huh... Well that's an interesting take on getting a child high on drugs.
Ahh, I remember haveing my wisdom teeth pulled *sigh* good times.....
Saw the air become water, became a dragon.......*sigh*
I don't even what?
This is a strange mix of cute and wat. I approve!
Oh, and derpy seeing beyond for Celly was cute, too.
Omg. Brilliant.
By the time that I had this happen to me, I was already adjusted to pain medications, because of the weird brain defect I had giving me constant migraines. I was on SO MUCH VICODIN...
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So, it was just more annoying than anything at that point.
Scootaloo has your mouth? Why aren't you trying to get it back?
7477785
Screaming internally.
Derpy eyes let her see past illusions. Derpy is a,truthseeker.
This was beyond hilarious and I love the part with Derpy and how she can see who Nopony was, and THST she is a but if a pervert it seems.
Also loved Scootaloo defrning Celestia and not wanting anyone near her, its such a cute kid thing...though withher planon how she would kill Celesta...he defending her parent from anyone dating her would be rather scary as all hell.
I’m confused.
7477917
They put you on some real strong stuff when they pull your wisdom teeth that leaves you real loony when you're coming off the end of it.
7477982
Thank you
This chapter was fully of win, and I laughed at practically every joke in this. Although, my favorite exchange had to be this:
Only one thing is appropriate.
WTF?
Meh. Worst chapter yet.
Just kidding dude!
7477982
7477987
Why are you using small text?
7478171
Shhhh~
May this story never die.
7478171 Blame Pickleless
I take it you just got your wisdoms yanked?
I really want to know what prompted the creation of this chapter....
So Derpy can see through illusions?
Am I the only one whose wisdom tooth operation did not involve such powerful drugs? Or is the stuff american dentists use different from what we have where I live?
I remember picking my sister up after wisdom tooth removal.
Most of what she said was Incoherent mumbling.
But I'm sure if I could have heard it, it would be fascinating.
Doubtless though, I fear that if I ever get drugged up enough to babble my thoughts,
Ima scar some grown-ass people for life.
7478367 I think it depends on how bad your wisdom teeth are. My brother didn't need the heavy drugs, just numbing it a little bit cause they were just in the way and not pushing the other teeth.
Ah phooey, when my wisdom teeth were pulled I didn't get the good drugs. Heck they had 3/4 out before I knew it. By the next day I was hanging out with my friends at the mall before a Pokémon release had was able to have some solid foods.
So the Aladin song at the end. Nice touch.
And the what with the wisdom tooth stuff?? When I had all 4 of mine pulled they injected novacane into my gums, waited 20 min, and pulled em all out in 5 min. What's making her high?
So, maybe you're not too concerned about horse biology, but horses don't really have wisdom teeth. A close parallel to wisdom teeth is their wolf teeth, which are often removed in real-life horses, but they aren't perfectly analogous to wolf teeth. I dunno, I suppose I'm just being nitpicky here. It's not the first time I've seen this, but the last time I saw a fic with wisdom teeth being removed it also mentioned a pony getting her appendix removed (which is an essential organ for horses, unlike in humans).
I have two wisdom teeth... or one. I'd have to check. He doesn't wanna come out though so no drugs for me.
7478844 they gave me some hard core drugs.
Don't know what it was. I was completely out of it. Just, crying for no reason. All I knew was "somethings wrong!"
7478899 Magical, talking ponies, dude.
What did I just read?
And why is there a mare (which mare anyway?) having colt parts?
Had they been in the wrong operation room?
I thought this story can't became weirder...
It seems I was wrong. Again.
Golden, absolutely golden
Derpy: Master Seductress.
Also, when I was twelve I had a fang pulled out. I don't know if this makes dentists in South America better or worse, but the dentist just grabbed the fang and pulled it straight out. No drugs, no nothing. Hurt like a motherfucker.
As someone born without Wisdom Teeth... is this accurate?
FOOL ME ONCE, IM MAD
FOOL ME TWICE, HOW COULD YOU
FOOL ME THREE TIMES, YOU'RE OFFICIALLY THAT GUY OKAY YOU KNOW THE ONE WALKS UP TO THE BAR AND GOES LIKE, "THE SUIT IS OFFICALLY GIORGIO ARMANI MY DAD KNOWS HIM." FUCK YOU! I AIIIIIIINT HAVIN THAT SHIT.
7480785
As someone who was born with wisdom teeth, kinda. Everyone reacts differently, but still dopey and confused when coming out of any form of anesthesia. Most just sorta act like a tired four-year-old, but every now and then you see something like this happen. There's a plethora of videos on the subject. Good for a laugh, too.
I really want to read the blog post behind this chapter.
7479678 Either this is the "slow" Derpy everyone types or the "secretly a genius" Derpy that can look through disguises. She didn't see Celestia but she saw a mare that looked like a dude... or something like that.
7482448 or, you know, Celestia just transformed into that
7477764 This is bullshit. Why does everyone get cool drugs and I only get the boring stuff that makes my face not work right.
I wanna be legally high as well!
Where am I?
7483792 If it makes you feel better; I was never legally high. My mouth was just numbed to the point that I strapped a napkin to my face so I could play Sonic Generations. Looking back drool dripped and I would get angry. If I saw Attack on Titan then my drool would be a titan... or the fact my mouth hung open would make me think of myself as a titan.
Question: Have you ever face planted against a wall? I did once, grabbing a fallen water bottle for some girl. It was weird. How was the wall so friggin' COLD?! The room was warm! And my shoes had no traction for some reason!
7484180 Yeah. I also drooled a lot.
And yes, I have faceplanted into a wall.
Because I was a dumb kid who thought running into walls would be funny. Surprise: it isn't.
7484160 You're on Fimfiction. You just got your pickle removed.
This instantly became my favorite chapter. This was hilarious as always.
7480972 GIT DAT JONTRON SHIIIAAAT OUTTA HEERE!! *Echs loudly*
Just kidding dude.
This chapter had me laughing almost the whole way through. Drugged Scootaloo is even more funny than regular Scootaloo!
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