• Member Since 30th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Saturday


A man is driving home, thinking about beating his wife. Along the way, he passes a turtle. I am that turtle.


Celestia and Scootaloo are homeless in a Ponyville alleyway together. They like to talk about things.

These are the things they talk about.

Note: The crayon scribbles of a plot is done, but the ride never ends story still updates.

Chapters (43)
Comments ( 2047 )

I'm still pretty sure that I taste like lemons.
Because you add sugar and happy thoughts and stuff and you get lemonade, or I'm just sour when I'm stewing in a corner on my lonesome.

… But mainly because of the yellow skin.

I taste like metal (and regret). Great story though keep it up :pinkiehappy:

You know, after reading all the crazy shit you've written about the adventures of Stupid Doll, you'd think I'd be used to the insanity that is your writing, Pickleless. My aching sides tell a different story. This was hilarious. I demand MORE!

My WTF-meter is going off the charts!

"Celestia is Oatmeal with Dinosaur shaped marshmallows in it."

"Why are all the princesses things that are bad for us?"

Oatmeal is very healthy for you, it just doesn't taste great unless you add something to it. Marshmallows don't count.

"...How do you know what beef jerky tastes like?"

She lives in a box in an alleyway, where in the world would you get the idea that she is picky on what she finds to eat? She probably wrestled it away from one of FS's critters...or Fluttershy is a bit sick and feeds it to Scootaloo when she comes around to eat with the rest of her animals.

Funny, charming, and a true piece of hilarious art! I can't wait for more!

I love this so far! :rainbowlaugh: I'm looking forward to more! :twilightsmile:

Also, I hope I would taste like something good...I guess I'm not that confident. :applejackunsure:

Scootaloo pities nobody.

Why is there a Displaced story in the "Also Liked" section? Famforkion, wat u doin.

Ch 1: Mildly curious.
Ch 2: Had to stop reading so my laughter would die down.
Ch 3: Almost had to stop reading again at Twilights flavor.
Ch 4: The almighty truth.

6556218 ............... I think that's jaundice.

Literally I've never read a story with such short chapters and still been satisfied
I love this story a bit too much for my own good

Cute murder is best.

what the F!? This was beautiful. :heart:

Okay, this story somehow manages to go from comedy to a crime drama in a short space of time.

And I love it! (Almost feel bad for Nopony, honestly.)

"Name me a fool who bit into a PB&J and didn't feel a warm glow on the inside." He whispered.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know someone! ..... Me.
Granted, I don't like peanut butter (or peanuts in general)

..........I don't know who to be more scared of, Scootaloo or the author. Seriously, Pickleless, you have issues...

Perfect. But there was a flaw

"Name me a fool who bit into a PB&J and didn't feel a warm glow on the inside." He whispered.

My cousin who has a peanut allergy.


and what flaw are you talking about?

I think Scoots is trolling Celestia here. This is a little dark for a kids mind to have come up without some adult help.

Can't spell slaughter without laughter~!

:rainbowderp: I wish I hadn't read this chapter...

Hitler, upon his throne inn hell, weeps into a tub of chocolate ice-cream.


Because his title of: "Most evil Mother-bucker EVER"

Is now challenged.

Ok Celestia you had better help Scootaloo with this when your year is up!

Yup, be careful what you are wishing for here Scootaloo. It usually means something important when you get something like this.

holy f-ing shit:S that just earned you a follow.

This chapter propelled this utterly idiotic wreck of a story right into my favourites.

It also made me wonder for several minutes what I would taste like, and that's something that doesn't happen all that often.

Nopony mentioned a sister in a previous chapter.

For some inexplicable reason, this was the funniest thing I read this week.

This is going to be fun read. . . *evil grin*

I feel like I taste like water or something

"I didn't know you had a sister!"

In the chapter about best/worst friends, Special mentions he has a sister (and Scoots tells him she doesn't count as a friend).

Unless these chapters aren't in chronological order, which is entirely possible although rather arbitrary and kinda unnecessary.

I'm going to come clean everypony. . . I've never felt the warm glow upon biting into a PB-N-J sandwich. . .

Because not once, not twice, had I ever had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

But how would she know where the breeding chamber is in the hive? And where could she raise the changeling? You know what, screw it - this chapter is fantastic enough already

Oh yeah, these were written out of order. I thought I got everything sorted out but this one slipped past me.


How is the ad in the bottom a sofa ad :pinkiegasp:

I find the parallels between this and what actually happened hilarious.

"What did he do?"

"More than you, kid."

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