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Writer, reviewer, creator of Filly Fantasy VI, occasional PMV maker, and uploader of mildly amusing image macros to Derpibooru. https://www.patreon.com/drakeyc


A reader's poll in Equestria's leading newspaper rates the Princesses by approval ratings.

OOC meta humor ensues as the four discuss the findings.

Pre-read by RT Stephens, MythrilMoth, and The Albinocorn.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 205 )

Yep, the description is so meta.:rainbowlaugh: Thank goodness the hate's dieing down now. Also, that ending...:rainbowlaugh:

Four (plus little Miss not appearing in this fic) princesses consumed with envy for the other.

The thousand year war has begun!

Albi #4 · May 4th, 2016 · · ·

7184680 Someone write that shit!

*coughs and covers mouth with hoof at the end* That's a very good ending.:ajbemused: (:rainbowlaugh:)

Here's a EQ front page exclusive: Romantic Conspiracy of the Dragon Lord and the Crystal Empire Savior.

“It was fifty-three percent. And I don’t care either way.”

Sure you don't Luna...

Cadance picked up the newspaper and read the article. “Well, Equestria sure seems to like you, Princess Luna.”

“Really?” Twilight leaned over. “What percentage of the vote did she win?”

“Fifty-three,” Luna replied instantly. “And it really isn’t a big deal. We princesses do our parts big and small to shepherd Equestria to harmony and the recognition we receive, or not, for our efforts is irrelevant.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “No, of course not! That was a mistake. I would probably be more around the twenty percent mark and then you and Luna at thirty and forty.”

Luna gaped. “Thirty-forty?”

“Well, you were absent from Equestria for a thousand years while Celestia ruled by herself.”

-Sure you don't.

7184924 :rainbowlaugh: I did see so many Ember/Spike fics after the episode aired...

Nuanced #10 · May 4th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Someday Celestia will get an episode. Someday...

(Or at the very least a comic that doesn't suck)

I just want to know one thing. The addresses of the ponies who voted for Flurry Heart.
I got some murdering to do.:pinkiecrazy:

Also here's how the poll should look like:
Luna - 50% (all hail the Lunar Republic!)
Celestia - 30% (trollestia is bestia)
Twilight -15% (she's adorkable)
Cadence - 5% (only for Sunshine Sunshine)
...and NO one else.

This is a really funny, really well-written story. Leave it to Twilight to forget tact and start calculating statistics in polite company ...
And the conflict of the story is the reason why I'm a little uncomfortable with naming a 'Best Princess', or even a 'Best Pony'. Sure, I have favourites. But if there's one called Best, that implies that one has to be Worst. More than that though, the point of the show is how ponies build each other up, how no one pony can be more important than any other because none of them would be as good as they are without the support of their friends. If one pony is elevated above the others, then that goes against that core philosophy. Whether it's a favourite Princess, a favourite Mane 6, a favourite Crusader: picking one ignores the importance of the whole group.
Put simply, I do think of Luna as Best Princess. But I temper that adoration by recognizing that Luna is one part of a larger structure, that she is no more or less important than the other princesses because they only form the whole leadership of Equestria if taken together.

I was really expecting them to ask just who WROTE that article in the first place. Naturally, it was Discord. It was ALWAYS Discord.

Oh Celestia don't think of it as your only 5% better than Flurry Heart, think of it as having 6 times the support she has.

On a side Note 53% + 26% + 13% + 6% + 1% comes out to 99% although the poll didn't show decimal points o that could easily be explained away (that or covered by all the other write ins).

Wonder what that write in tally looks like beyond Flurry Heart's victory.

7185371 In an earlier draft of the story, yes it was. :derpytongue2:

They don't need to argue. Ember is now best princess.

7185423 She's not a Princess anymore, she's the Dragon Lord. AGREE WITH ME!

The poll was CLEARLY unbiased as Luna is Best Princess.

Also, I think Luna should have talked to Celestia about how that's how she felt. Heck this entire thing could have easily turned into Celestia becoming the Tyrant Sun or whatever the Celestia version of Nightmare Moon would be!

Never sling horseapples at the princesses, you'll end up under a pile of you're own 'DOO'-ing

I wonder how many voted for "Prince Blueblood in drag"

This was great! Seriously, this was funny, insightful, and pretty true to the fandom. Excellent job! :pinkiehappy: :raritystarry: :twilightsmile:

7185653 He's got my vote!

Thi story - while hilarious - does sort of highlight something that the show shows glimpses of, but is very rarely seen in the fandom; the ACTUAL effect on a society of being led for a thousand years by an immortal benevolent dictatorship. The results of the newpaper poll, were, I'm extrapolating, were from one of EqD's polls - which comes from what should be a very different mindset to what Equestrians would feel, having not had a thousand year history fraught with rulers both good and bad (and often more the latter than the former).

Look at the way the Queen gets treated. How many of you reading automatically assume I'm talking about Elizabeth II (because she is, in popular culture, often THE Queen (no disrespect to other countries with existant monarchies, but they are not so captured in the public image outside their own countries - but the Queen has the advantage of both having reigned for a several-record-breaking period of time[1], and coming from a former empire with colonial holdings which have never replaced the UK monarchy with their own.

Now, the royal family does get a lot of critisim - but some of that is "they don't do anything" (which is not really true, but we're not here to debate that). Despite that, the Queen is still extremely popular and well-loved. She is practically an instituion, especially in the UK at this point.

Celestia should be in the same situation, only magnified by a factor of at LEAST fifteen times, combined with the fact she's very ACTUALLY the ruler, rather than the head-of-state.

In Equestria, after a rule of a thousand years, Celestia ought to be commanding the respect of the majority of the ponies in the manner in which humans treat - well, somewhere between hero-worship, celebrity-worship and actual worship. We've seen it hinted at in the show (e.g. the Cakes and the tea, the way the guards flew into a panic and immediately looked to Twlight for leadership in the season four opener). (Twilight's urge to have things be perfect for the Princess probably would have elements deper-seated than just the need to make teacher proud) Fandom, though, more often than not seems to instead have a council of nobles, usually as some form of politican opposition (which I always find a bit unlikely).

I think, of all stories, probably the one that shows what a thousand-year reign might have is, of all things, Skywriter's Princess Celestia Really Hates Tea. Though comedic, it's probably closer to what sort of reaction ponies would have to a monarch that has ruled for a period of time that is really beyond human comprehension in a day-to-day fashion.

(Look at it this way, a thousand years ago, the Norman Conquest of England was a long-way off, and none of the non-UK English-speaking world even existed yet. Heck, even the ENGLISH-speaking wolrd didn't exist yet, technically, since it would no be for fifty years that even MIDDLE English showed up...! A thousand years is a REALLY long time in real history and culture effects.)

That ended up being rather longer than I had intended! I'll go and be quiet in my corner, now...

[1]While not the longest-reigning monarch in history still she is the longest-reigning monarch in the UK and the world's longest reigning queen.


The editor for the Equestria Daily put down the copy of the Canterlot Herald in his hooves. “I must say, I can’t imagine what brought this on.”

You hear that? That's the sound of me slow clapping.


In Equestria, after a rule of a thousand years, Celestia ought to be commanding the respect of the majority of the ponies in the manner in which humans treat - well, somewhere between hero-worship, celebrity-worship and actual worship.

You would think that, but - the show has actually spoken on the matter. Remember that poll Sassy Saddles took among the citizens (of Canterlot?) - Twilight actually came out as the most popular princess on that one, in Celestia's home city no less :rainbowlaugh:

It's a shame we didn't get to see Celestia's reaction to that :rainbowlaugh:
Granted, It probably wouldn't have been anything nearly as amusing as this story, but still.

I call foul play. Cadence is clearly best princess. Cadenza's Free Love Empire represent!

I am totally trying to turn that into a catchphrase.


Because there are no other possible titles for a newspaper>? Also, the newspapers deserve exactly what they got. -- Also pretty hilarious.

Celestia should just start a new tradition of taking a nice long vacation, perhaps 3-4 months/year. If she's really the worst Princess, then Equestria can get along fine without her while she makes up for a thousand years of extra stress, right?

Funny meta humour.

I really didn't see a WHOLE lot of OOC to be honest. I think you did a fairly good job in that regard.

The princesses are all great because they rule well in tandem. Celestia's the long-term planner who fosters confidence and the abilities of others through her wisdom and teaching, Luna's a mare of action who teaches hard lessons with blunt honesty, Cadance is good at pony-on-pony relationships and making sure they are healthy, and Twilight...

Twilight is the kingdom's muscle.

That all being said Celestia apparently did that all for a thousand years herself, so...

7186033 Well, most "popular" is to be expected considering she's a brand new princess and there's probably a lot of buzz about it. It doesn't necessarily translate to "everybody's favourite."

Also in universe that seems strange considering everyone is perpetually surprised at discovering there's a fourth princess.

this smells of discord........

Huzzah! The Sun Tyrant is unmasked! No longer will we stand for your lies and cake absconderment! The citizens of Equestria have spoken, and in no way was the data focused, interpreted or presented in a misleading fashion.

You know, black PR is still PR.

Eh, I don't buy it. EQD's editor would never approve a poll that didn't include the Great and Powerful Trixie.

My list for best to wort princess is as follows. Starting from best.







7185898 Imagine what will happen if they feature this story. :pinkiecrazy:

7186248 It's been submitted. :derpytongue2:

My list for best princess:


7185167 We can all hope. Hey, if neither of those things happen there is always the movie right?

7186259 I would just love to see this on ED.:trollestia: Just imagine...

Nothing bad will come from this, I bet.

Imagine the public outcry if they shut down the entire publication just because they didn't like one article.

This was funny! Nice work! :rainbowlaugh:

~ Super-Brony12

Well , at least we can all agree that Chrysalis is best Queen. :trollestia:
As for myself , even is I tend to like Luna more , I recognise Celestia's worth. So don't worry Celly ,some still like you !

My list would look like this I guess...:
The Shrimp

My own personal list

Big Macintosh

Nice. :moustache: :rainbowlaugh:


The story up till the end was a barrel of laughs, but that punchline puts it over the top. :rainbowlaugh:


Actually, I think part of the reason for the Queen of England's popularity is that she's not actually involved in politics. If she was, then she would have political stances on issues that some people would disagree with. As it is, with the Queen basically acting as a figurehead, there's sparse reasons to dislike her.

Celestia is voted worst Princess... because raw majorities tend to be composed of idiots.

Just look at the IQ curve! *point to the left of his own position* 99% below me! :trollestia:

My guess is that Celestia is like Mario from Mario Kart. Not that many players dislike him, but given a choice, they will pick another character. Luigi is the lovable everyman, Yoshi is the cute mascot who made it big, Rosalina is the elegant one with backstory, and Mario... has his name on the box.

What I'm saying is that Celestia either should get a story arc or a more obvious personality. Embrace the Luigi.


I see no reason why she can't be both. Princess Leia was both a princess and a member of the Imperial Senate.

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