Many have opposed Celestia and all of them have fallen, one way or another. Some she has slain. Others she redeemed. Her servants and friends have done great deeds in her name and her fame has spread throughout all of creation. She is the Sun in all of its glory.

And yet she finds that she cannot get a single child to believe she is even real.

Part of the Monophysite Quartet.
Ageless, Or Celestia Plays Dice With the Universe, Have You Considered My Servant, Twilight?, and The Esoteric Rites of Darkness (NSFW), all coming from a single story idea called "Monophysite" and exploring some perception/idea/theory about who or what Celestia is and how that effects her friends and loved ones.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 282 )

I liked it. Goofy and fun. Good job!

Red Paste sounds like a great name for a kick-able filly.

7013006 I know right?

I want to take a moment to express my appreciation for the chapter title. That is some A+ chapter titling, right there.

ummm So when is this set.. Cause you say she's going to Twilight's New Castle and then the Golden Oak, The Library is specifically destroyed before the Castle was created.
Also Celestia isn't pink, now If you meant to say her alias Sunrise was pink ok, just incongruities.

That out of the way Yea Diamond Tiara has SOME points but doesn't get what they really mean. Celestia is "fake" in many ways as their is "Public Celestia" and "Real Celestia", in public she wears a mask of serenity and has practiced her "motherly tone" for centuries. I'm pretty sure inside Celly wants to strangle at least half the royal court, and just call ponies with bad ideas idiots. The more intimate castle staff have by now learned to read her REAL moods and when Celetia's smile indicates she really needs her sweet tooth indulged or heads will roll. I can also see and obsession with sweets as part of Celestia's coping mechanism.
The story also shows that Diamond doesn't yet understand her REAL talent. Yes she can see flaws but she can also see the strong aspects of a pony. Like the un-named super strong filly, as a bully she can point out how "freakish" that strength is, but put aside the bullying and she can she how such physical strength can be an asset.

7013022 I try.

7013023 I'm embarrassed to say that by the fifth word you had put more thought into this then I did.

Also, she is pink! Barely. It's such a light pink that it almost appears white. I used to think she was white (and have often written describing her as such for convienence) but after encountering the idea that she was in fact pink, I studied the character model until I was shown this truth in a vision. It was sort of like Paul on the Damascus Road

I'm going to skip the silliness and say that at least early on her model was lightest pinkish or appeared so. I would show you what I mean but I am on a phone. Phones are useful but limited.

7012988 it was incredibly stupid. Just as planned........

You know, I was trying to model a little bit of the silliness of a friend of mine who stopped writing on here a few weeks ago. I was going to dedicate it to him with some stupid jokes but my heart wasn't in it. I miss Risu. I admire him greatly.


Speaking as an eminent authority on Celestia by dint of oh wow that's a lot of Celestias around your desk um I just remembered I had a thing bye, Cyne is absolutely right--she is very, very, very light pink in the show.

7013062 see this is obviously untrustworthy

There can be only one Celestia and Twilight is her prophet

OK then. I just read that. Whelp I'm gonna go cry in a corner now.

.............. this was AMAZING!!!!! so funny!!!!

7013078 shh there are no tears now there are only the alots

Joking aside its kind of depressing that you could easily paint Celestia as being basically this totally fake persona. Yet I don't think she is. I have met many serene people. And sometimes we smile falsely not because we are lying but because we're polite and it's mean to make people uncomfortable.

That being said Celestia is 100% the sun toying with Ponykind. DT is right. The sun is evil

Quite amusing. I suppose Pinkie's ability to eat a cake whole doesn't prove anything about Celestia's ponyness, one way or another. :pinkiecrazy:

This, alas, should have an alternate universe tag, since the show has covered what Diamond Tiara's special ability is, and it's just what it looks like: bossing people around.

7013096 funny?? This was very serious. Heresy is not funny. >:c


What is Team Authority? Does it HAVE authority or is it a team of authorities already established? How is this authority legitimized?

7013103 also a very useful ability, slightly below lying to children and slightly above working knowledge of blood magic

If I weren't on a phone I probs would add it but eh.

7013103 also literally my only head cannon is that Pinkie is an Eldritch abomination

Yes, I meant to spell it that way. Do other people not have cannons on their heads

7013114 oh that im trying to find someone to give access on my account because i need help because my computer was stolen and im now running my account on a Wii U. so that's a bummer. top secret tho!! if you or someone else is interested PM me!

Well if Celestia isn't real, then launching an irritating filly into, say, the next universe over – where she belongs but by universal constants also isn't wanted – isn't real, either.

Celestia is very slightly pink, though - I'll give her that. Even if she isn't real. Still pink.

7013114 and the Authority part is because im going to take over fimfiction and make it better! and whoever stays my loyal follower's il give them a job here! then we will be called The authority!


*Gestures significantly at avatar, eyebrows raised* As you can see, I take Her Holiness The Divine Prophetess Princess Doctor Quadruple Professor Sparkle as my role model--nay, my inspiration when it comes to being obsessed with all thing Celestia.

7013137 hm

Sounds suspiciously like heresy, but I'll allow it

Celestia is actually the only thing that is real. Besides cake. The rest is simply her whimsy in a featureless void. How else could Twilight be so adorkable? Because she's not real. She is simply a dream of divinity

7013146 joking aside this is bizarre because I'm working on a FOE fic where there is a faction called the authority.

7013148 your piety has shamed me

I bow to your knowledge of the Suns holy face and also pinkish hue

7013165 whoa nice!
also here's our theme song!

7013153 Oh I'm a believer. Team Pink all the way. But seeing Diamond Tiara spiked like a volley ball into another dimension would provide un-needed confirmation of my belief (only heathens need proof). It would also provide laughter, tinged with pinkness as hypercapnia sets in.

7013179 fideistic acceptance of the irreconcilable ambiguity of the material world is wisdom

They say the now football shaped pinkish unfortunate heretic still is punted across the multiverse where she collects shards of Twilight Sparkle hoping for eventual absolution

Except some jerk keeps getting them first UGH

7013127 Personally, I think she's at least part Eldritch Abomination [1], but she has forgotten she is one, which is why she sometimes thinks she might be injured by hurtling boulders and other inconsequential things.

[1] It's hard to argue with stuff like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daFSJ8GIxok )

Excellent. And, if I may say, equivalent to Device Heretic's brand of Celestia-level genius.

7013214 a Miaphysite view of Pinkie's essential Eldritchness, then.

I accept this

7013220 Device Heretic witnesses all things

7013190 I imagine Pinkie Pie came into her eldritch form as a result of a conversation similar to Tiara and Celestia's. Pinkie is now, always was, and ever shall be punting through the multiverse collecting pieces of her redemption... and friends, because she really gets around. Pinkie knows everyone. :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Andy Soshal deleted Mar 9th, 2016

“Wait. How would you fit a whole cake in your…”

Well you see Twilight, sometimes when you get to be very old, and very, very bored...

Comedy from Cynewulf ?
I like that!

*tips tiara* m'lady.

Cy, are you sure there wasn't any hidden text in that last blog post about your favorite pipeweeds, perhaps recommending something Country Squire doesn't sell (at least, not over the counter)? Or maybe have you checked your pouch lately to be certain your stash of Choctaw hasn't been replaced by, oh, say... kudzu?

I think I opened the door and I may punted her into the street.

I think I opened the door and I may have punted her into the street.


She had also erased Twilight Sparkle’s name at least twice and removed it to other lists which were less severe but also nice to stroke when late night frustrations took their toll.

I'll bet.

Of course Celestia is not real.

I'm pretty sure an animated character who exists only in an animated TV show to sell toys is not real:trollestia:

7013670 nothing moves me but piety, hunger, and the claws of feline boredom

7013686 I don't see Celestia selling too many toys.
The newest Princess, on the other hoof...

When you said Celestia was pink, I thought you meant her mane when it doesn't have four colors in it.

7013744 ooooh colors

The four in four colors is inexplicably satisfying

7013749 Based off of Celestia's Mane.

Nah, Celestia doesn't have enough pink in her to actually be called pink. If even nearly-unnoticeable taints of other colors prevented things from being white, the color would never actually exist outside of idealized scenarios.

She told me that no real pony could eat a whole cake in one bite, and then I think I opened the door and I may punted her into the street.”

Nearly lost my crackers at that.

Great story and funny. I miss this version of Diamond Tiara. There is a little problem with some word repeating though. In the second paragraph you use enjoy three times and quiet twice in the same sentence. Other than that it was very funny.

Good God this was hilarious. The concept is funny enough in its own right, but the way it manages to hit all of Celestia's weak spots for all the wrong reasons is just hilarious. I would totally read more "Diamond Tiara bullies Celestia" stories.

I don't personally think that necessarily makes it less dishonest, just an accepted sort of dishonesty... I said that too strongly perhaps but I think society would be better if people would move away from that sort of thing... I am certainly trying.

Also here is a very different take on the idea of one of the princess's existence being questioned There Is No Luna. I like cross indexing stuff and it is a pretty good story.

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