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This story is a sequel to Snails 1/2: Vol 1 Becoming Popular

This is a precursor to the story Snails 1/2: The art of the Dress

There are some that would view Escargot's life as perfect. There are some that think she's the luckiest pony alive. She has looks, she has status, she has the attention of the princesses. What more could a pony want. There are some that would give anything for what she has. Snails would give it all up to go back to being a normal colt and have the nightmare end.

Snails 1/2 a Perfect Stallion follows Snails and his alter ego Escargot, on a trip to the frozen north. Through danger, adventure, and through bad marriage proposals. The Ranma-esc style story continues.

Will Snails ever become the Perfect Stallion?

With artwork by Alkarasu and edited by Swyrl, this is a story made as a pure slice of life comedy in the style of anime.

Chapters (32)
Comments ( 892 )

........reading this!

Yup Snails just cannot catch a break here can he?

Crystal Empire here we come..
pore snails life is just plan out to get him / her.

Maybe I can meet up with snips and
It was heard, even though it was made for foals

1. Forgot to capitalise.
2. Hard.

Yep, the ever loving shenanigans are back. Can't imagine actually living like that though. Wait till he gets his first crush, then things will get even more chaotic.

“She’s waiting on me and scoots to bring her a wagon-load of crystals, but I can’t do it alone.”


It was heard, even though it was made for foals.

That's all the errors I found so far.

Oh well, at least he got hugs from most of the normal fillies in town.

He mind as well just completely go mare!

6163653 There are two problems with that.
1) He don't want to.
2) It's about as hard as another way around (without opening up to somepony).
So he's stuck in the middle and, to be strictly honest, don't even have anyone to blame for that, except himself. :trollestia:

6163949 well he could blame trolesstia but in her defense... :trollestia: It is better if he tells ponies himself, when he is ready.

6163957 Her Royal Highness Trollestia, the first of that name, prefers not to interfere in the matters of her subjects above absolutely necessary tweaks. Since it's not life-threatening (yet), she may have her fun in peace. :trollestia:

now just think:

How many here "like" Snails as a character?
How many respect Snails?

How many people would ever think they would support Snails?
How many people here think they would ever feel sorry for Snails?

6166780 Now, are we talking show Snails or your Snails? :trollestia:

I like the story, I like the pacing, the only problem I have with it is that the previous story is set as a sequel to this one in the description and that's kinda confusing.

I like this story but I'd watch the pronouns to keep it from being confusing.

She/Her/Hers/Herself as Escargot
He/Him/His/Himself as Snails

6170543 Snails thinks about himself as "he" no matter his current form (so "the narrator" uses the same pronoun when following him around). Everypony else thinks about Escargot as "she". At least, that was the idea. :twilightsmile:

6170543 since the story almost never "frame hops." it almost always follows snails around. showing only what snails can see or hear, except in very special cases it stays as he.

The catch being if its someone else perception. or someone else thoughts... and again usually snails is NOT "on the screen" at that time.

that was rather short, but I enjoyed it. I cannot wait to see the Crystal empire chapters. I also hope for longer chapters in the future. Keep up the great work!

6195723 i don't know, its about the same size as the chapter parts for snails 1/2 becoming popular

Bulk of fans seem to prefer shorter chapters

6195736 Eh I have always been the odd duck out on most things, liking games, shows, stories etc the majority of folks didn't like XD. So just curious how much longer till we see Escargot arrive in the Crystal Empire?

So just curious how much longer till we see Escargot arrive in the Crystal Empire?


“ So why in Celestia’s
or Silver Spoon.”Then, to himself, “ I should talk to
If I tell dad the truth
Snails snorted in exasperation. .
Turning Snails closed

1. Extra spacing.
2. Forgot your spacing after the last sentence and an extra spacing before the start of your second one.
3. Just your I that wasn't included as an italic.
4. Extra full stop.
5. Extra spacing.

Nope, he just can't win yet. And here I am just waiting for the meltdown he has while he's still Escargot. And then Chaos.

6195917 fixed.

poor dinky, she's sensitive about people calling mares and fillies stupid.

6195723 person! this is off topic but you have a truly wondrous avatar. it helped me prove a point to a couple of friends.said point being twilight's mane is dark blue but the purple streak causes most people to percieve it as purple. this happens with dark colours.

6195736 not if they update slowly

Balance length and update frequency you should

6197208 i know i was hoping to update sooner but... i'm working on chapter 8 right now for it. Hehe.

6197311 So you have five chapters ready to go?

Then publish them faster!

ok good chapter but dang I feel bade for snails and now snips likes Escargot.
life just sucks.

6197637 Its up to my editor, as well as which story i feel like writing that day :)

6198673 Who wouldn't? Snails would most probably like her himself (he seem to gravitate towards powerful unicorns), if his condition wouldn't prevent him. :pinkiecrazy:
After all, Escargot seems to be about as likable as Snails is repulsive. :trollestia:

This story continues to be interesting.

I can tell you have a good story planned out, but it seems to have ended up on paper a little blockier than you probably meant it to be. This is really amusing and fits the social hijinks that Ranma gets into with his curse quite well, and does it without crazy enemies trying to make him prepare to die. Keep it up!

Again I do apologize folks, this isn't a hiatus on my part or anything like that, I'm waiting on my editor. I'm currently working on chapter 10 of perfect stallion right now. so there is still lots to read.


I can certainly understand why one would want the advantage of an editor... But, if it takes more than a week per chapter then maybe they are overworked or overloaded with responsibilities.

Now that Snails knows his dark past, he can finally become Batmare! :pinkiecrazy:


Umm to be Batmare he'd have to accept and embrace the darkness that is... Escargot.

cuz everyone knows true superhero's are only females. Hence the name, Batmare. Not batstallion or batcolt.

6251443 He can be torn between his two identities as well, that works for a Batmare too. :derpytongue2:

ok the end of this chapter needs a warning Kleenex required.
a really good chapter KC good work.

I do hope Snails hug up your dress

1. Hung.

Hmm... If Snails is having slight trouble with phonetics this early on, I'm worried about later when he has to do things on the fly more often than not. I also wonder if he actually will have a sort of... 'Cursed companion' to be with. Or he could be forever alone. We shall see...

I really wanna see Snails aka Escargot's life improve due to his/her magical education. I also suddenly really dislike Snails dad, and wish to slap him with a Salmon.., REPEATEDLY. The fact is Snails will not be able to hide his curse from his/her parents forever, and eventually they will figure it out, and by then it will be to late for them do to jack about it, Snails AKA Escargot will be proficient in magic as a result of being in Celestia's school. Further he/she will have friends in high places, who will no allow Snails family to hurt him/her mentally or physically (not saying his family would mind you but just throwing that out there) I DO have to wonder though, how Snail's parents would react his he/she ascended to an Alicorn.

6253470 So you like Long Haul too? The perfect combination of Genma and Nodoka's worst possible qualities in a single easily hateable stallion. :pinkiecrazy:
Kitsy don't let me chainsaw him. :pinkiesad2:

I'm not sure Snails could handle the accession, though. Maybe there's a better way to improve him. :pinkiecrazy:

6254256 please refresh my memory, what is the long haul?

6254290 OH! I thought you were referencing a story title :rainbowlaugh:

As other readers have pointed out Snail's family is kinda out of line here. From how it sounds, because of his little magic they are raising him as an Earth pony but it sounds like they do not like magic in the family. (Ugh I just could not get that any less wordy) I hope Twilight finds out and will help Snails out here and get him out of what feels like a toxic home environment. They seem to prefer a daughter over their own son even!

Overall great chapter and looking forward to the next chapter!


but it sounds like they do not like magic in the family.

Well, we have Apple family (and, most prominently, Silly Pony) as a prime example how earth ponies can be about unicorn magic. So while it's not something good, it could be something traditional (and the reason why nopony else noticed that "Snails don't have interest in magic" is coming not from Snails himself, his encounters with Trixie tell us another story:trixieshiftright:).

They seem to prefer a daughter over their own son even!

It's a common thing, especially in traditional cultures, when a guest may expect better treatment than a family member, and Escargot is, in their eyes, a guest. :derpytongue2:


They seem to prefer a daughter over their own son even!

It's a common thing, especially in traditional cultures, when a guest may expect better treatment than a family member, and Escargot is, in their eyes, a guest. :derpytongue2:

Again, for that take the apple family and our resident silly pony. When they go on the road trip and pinky tags along. Apple Jack does everything she can to try and put a "fake face" on the family, of them never arguing, never fighting, never having disagreements... All for the benefit of pinky. They welcome her into the family then try and make themselves appear to be the ultimate family when she's there...

*skips off singing* you're more fun then the color pink or balloons flying over your favorite drink, the live I feel is swim not sink as we travel across this land...

So who thinks karma is catching up to Diamond Tiara? Every time she sticks up her nose it gets swatted down. I hope that Twilight will be brought into the secret soon as she is in a position to help Snail's with this interesting situation. Great chapter and looking forward to the next chapter!

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