Part 2
“I’ve had it up to here with Escargot and stupid fillies”
“I’m not stupid.”
“Oh come on!”
Snails 1/2: The Best Teacher
Escargot had to admit: Twilight Sparkle was a good teacher. She had tried teaching Escargot using a few different methods before settling on demonstration and practice. There was still reading- a lot of reading- but mostly, she simply showed Escargot how to do something, then sat with her while she practiced. It actually worked. If only the teachers did that with him as a colt.
Unfortunately, he had Escargot's trip to the Crystal Empire to worry over. 3 days! How was he going to explain being away from home for-
“Oh Escargot Darling!” Rarity trilled happily as Escargot stepped into the sunshine.
“You heard about my trip?” Escargot wasn’t sure if that was a question or a statement, but knowing Sweetie Belle, Rarity already knew everything.
“Of course! I have a special case packed for you already.” Smiling brightly, Rarity helped Escargot into a summery yellow and pink sundress, with a matching floral hat.
“Rarity, my trip isn’t till tomorrow.” Escargot sighed resignedly. He knew there was no fighting Rarity, but he made an effort nonetheless.
“I know, but you needed something special for today. You must tell your parents, after all.” Rarity said, then hummed to herself pensively, “Come to think of it, I don’t believe we’ve been introduced yet. Would it be too much trouble to arrange a meeting?”
“Is it ok if I bring them to the store so we can all talk?”
“Oh, most definitely.” Rarity beamed, then began the return to her boutique.
Hitching the saddle bag onto his back and picking up the suitcase, Escargot headed home. “Ok. Just walk in, dump the stuff off in the spare room mom has for Escargot, and have a hot shower. Then I can go play with Snips. I’ll think of something later.”
Pausing at the door, he reached up with a foreleg and grumbled, “I just want to know why nopony respects me as a colt.”
The next thing he heard was the cry of a pegasus from above. “Look out below!”
The large wash tub had gotten away from Flitter and Cloudchaser and slammed into the ground mere feet from Escargot. It bounced, then rolled down the street, eventually settling against a fence. Unfortunately, the hot water inside hit her with all it had.
Looking at his orange foreleg he sighed. Seeing his fate dead in the eye as his dad opened the door just hoofsteps away. “Hi dad.”
His father simply frowned at Snails in the cute dress and flowery hat, brow furrowed and eyes shadowed with disappointment. “Son, we need to talk.”
“Yes, father.”
“First, get out of those repulsive filly clothes. I can’t stand to see you dressed like that.”
Snails entered his room and extricated himself from the dress. Putting it on a hanger, he hung it in the bathroom to dry. As he watched his reflection, anger, frustration, welled up inside him and left him on the verge of tears. He took a deep, steadying breath, then turned and walked head low into his father’s study.
“Sit.”
Obediently Snails sat on the floor with his hind legs spread a bit, front legs between them.
“Snailsquirm, I expect you to be the perfect stallion.” His father looked sternly at Snails, with just a hint of concern. “You gain respect with hard work. You gain respect by proving you can work through any and ALL hardships: through ice or heat, through flood and drought, and endure it without complaint or reward. Look at Big Macintosh: he runs for hours on a treadmill apple press, once a year for three days straight. He plows the fields without rest, and expects nothing in return. Look at Filthy Rich: he worked so hard to build a huge business, slaved over bargains and built his fortune from the ground up. He still works there every day, and continues to push himself harder and harder. And ponies respect him for that.” His father glanced distastefully at the dress.
“They do not respect him for wearing dresses. I didn’t raise you to act like a filly, Snails. I raised you to be a real Earth Stallion, as tough as nails and as strong as boulders.” He paused, both perplexed and frustrated. “So why in Celestia’s sky were you wearing a dress?”
“I’m not an earth pony though.” Snails began, then flinched as the piercing glance of his father bore through him. “Sorry.”
“Ponyville was built on the backs of strong earth ponies, strong like us. Not with cheap unicorn tricks. Every winter, we clean up without magic. Why do you think that is? Why do you think we disallow magic in our home? When you are old enough and strong enough, I’m sure some nice filly will be there for you, maybe even Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon.” Then, to himself, “ I should talk to Filthy Rich about that.”
Oh, Celestia. Snails thought. She tried to Love Poison me, and he wants to set me up with her? What did I do to deserve this? He needed an excuse though, a way out of the dress incident.
Snails thought as hard as he could. If I tell dad the truth, he’ll kick me out for sure. I’ll be all alone on the street, fending for myself. But I can’t lie. He’ll know. He always knows.
Taking a deep breath, Snails kept his head low. “Rarity gave Escargot a new day dress, hat, and suitcase for a trip she’s taking tomorrow. I couldn’t carry everything back here, and there wasn’t room in the case for the dress. In the end it got put on me, so I left it on until I got home.”
If you told the truth, you never had to worry about keeping lies straight.
“Maybe Escargot is a bad influence. I’ll talk with your mother about this.”
“Dad, would it be ok if I went camping for a few days? School’s out, and some time away from the girls will do me good.”
“Well, it would do you some good to get away from all this filly nonsense, and a wild night in the woods might make you into more of a stallion.” After some brief consideration, his father agreed, “You’re free to go.”
Snails turned and trotted out. He tried to stick to the earth pony values, but it wasn’t easy. This town did a lot of things without magic -especially the different season wrap ups- but he was in no way able to push the bigger ploughs like his dad did.
It took him some time, but he finally found Snips at Sugarcube Corner. Best of all, there had been no water problems to speak of. He relaxed into a seat across from Snips and smiled.
“Hey Snips, wanna do anything?”
“I was thinking of going swimming, wanna join me?”
“Sur…. Umm. Actually, not for swimming, but maybe something else.”
“Well, there’s always Escargot.” Snips said.
“Pardon?”
“Escargot, the new unicorn in town. She’s so cute.” Snips said with a sigh.
“Oh no, I’ve had it up to here with Escargot and stupid filly stuff.” Snails said holding his hoof over his horn. He blinked and slowly looked beside him to see the CMC, Noi, and Dinky, all of whom had just stopped at the table beside him.
Dinky sniffled quietly, looking away from snails. “I’m not stupid. Neither is mom.”
“Oh come on!” Snails snorted in exasperation.
“Hey! That’s my line!” Sweetie Belle squeaked, jumping up and down to emphasize her point.
Apple Bloom stalked up to Snails. “Ah don’t know what yer problem is with her, but if you were half the pony she was...”
Turning Snails closed his eyes and headed for the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Apple Bloom asked angrily.
“To find an Ursa Minor to play with.” Snails said bitterly, sagging towards the door. He was stopped by a wall of purple fur. He slowly looked up to see Twilight Sparkle’s critical gaze. Yep. He just couldn’t win.
As he sat outside of the store, Twilight Sparkle circled Snails like a shark, chastising him. “Do you know how much damage the Ursa Minor caused last time?”
“Yes ma’am. I wasn’t really going to play with one, I was just so frustrated. I just want to play.” Snails said. “Dad’s mad at me, the girls hate me. All I want is to be a colt and play.” Snails stomped his hoof in frustration. Twilight’s expression softened.
“Play what?” Twilight asked gently.
“I don’t know. I just want to run free, to play. I want to be a colt without having to worry, to be me without having to care, or have responsibilities, or be afraid.”
Twilight blinked, curled her wing around Snails. “I’m going to the Crystal Empire for 3 days, but after that, why don’t you come by the castle? I can teach you how to play chess.”
“I- I think I’d like that.” Snails said blinking. She really was the best teacher he could hope for.
“Good, now why don’t you and Snips go swimming or something?”
Snails drooped. He used to love swimming.