• Member Since 4th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

thewaffler


E

Spike, Snips and Snails are hanging out with the CMC's on the farm. As Spike leaves to go home he takes a shortcut through the back 40 of Sweet Apple Acres he finds Scootaloo alone in the CMC tree house feeling miserable. The story focuses on a tale of two different types of orphan and how they find solace in each other.

That's right it's Scoots x Spike. If people complain that it's not their version of fanon or canon, then let's say it takes place on Equestria-789 in the multiverse.

The fics's pic will definitely change as make my own picture for the story.


Oh and special thanks goes to my good friend WinterTwister for helping me write this fic.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 196 )

Very interesting idea you have here. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this. I wish you the best of luck in the writing process!

Is the Alternate Universe tag for later on in the story or did I miss something?

So, im guessing spikaloo?

'If people complain that it's not their version of fanon or canon, then let's say it takes place on Equestria-789 in the multiverse. '

Well I generally assume anyone's fanfic is going to diverge from my head canon, even if it's a shipping pair I normally like.

But Spike and Scoots? This gets points for originality alone. You are clearly thinking outside the box, and inside the chimney.

104515
Best comment on the site.

But yes, I like to see where this is heading.

104501
To be honest I didn't know if i was gonna change things that radically, but now that i think about an AU tag seems a bit excessive. So in short I was unsure so out it goes. I thought an Alternate Universe tag would give me more leeway with canon and excepted fanon. I removed it b/c all fan fics are AU plus i didn't change character personalities or the setting.

Peace Out.

An interesting concept to be sure, looking forward to how this plays out. Tracking, will rate after the second chapter drops :twilightsmile:

104515
Dude, i know people that are so obsessed with certain fanons and canons that they complain about everything, so as a joke I put down that line about it taking place on Equestria-789. Thanks for the comment,

Peace Out.

Shall wait for more, good sir.

I actually like this. Spike-shipping fics tend to turn me off, but I actually like this one for whatever reason. Tracking! :yay:

Yay:yay: And D'awww:pinkiesad2:

How soon can we expect the next chapter? Can we have it tomorrow? I promise I'll be really good if we can have it tomorrow!

Spike x Scootaloo? yes please!

It's always good to see Spike n Scootaloo get some love, pretty rare bro!:heart:

104552

As a comic geek, I know exactly how bad fans can get about those sorts of things.

So likewise I appreciate the silly 'Equestria-789' crack. Glad to see that my comments helped someone's mood.

104552

As a comic geek, I know exactly how bad fans can get about those sorts of things.

So likewise I appreciate the silly 'Equestria-789' crack. Glad to see that my comments helped someone's mood.

This is awesome, I can't wait for the next chapter. Also fpr Drago P.I anyway great work.

Scoots gets so little shipping love. I'm looking foward to updates on this. Submit it to EqD, you may score a front page.

interesting idea! cant wait to see what else happens in it :twilightsmile:

:scootangel::heart::moustache:

I'll be tracking this, but I'm not sure about the writing. I'm tired, but I didn't notice many spelling mistakes or major grammatical errors to point out. It feels like there's a great idea to be had but the pacing for it is rushed.

Either way, I look forward to more. I used to be a SpikeXApplebloom fan but accidentally ran into a SpikeXScootaloo, and ended up loving the pairing. This is the second one I've seen, so I can't wait to see how you expand on it.

I like the idea of shipping Spike with any of the CMC and this one in particular has a huge amout of d'aaaaaaaw. Tracking! :pinkiehappy:

Interesting idea, rare to see this kind of pairing. I'm keeping an eye on this one :derpytongue2:

104515 Think about it
Scoots looks up to rainbow dash, spike IS rainbow dash!

106817

...

"Twilight! This 'New Rainbow Dash' gig is getting awkward! I can't keep up these constant arguments with Applejack and now I'm in a romantic entanglement with Scootaloo!"

'Sp--Rainbow Dash! I do not want to hear another word. We decided you were the new Rainbow Dash during that Discord mess and neither you, nor I, nor Princess Celestia can change it!'

*Suddenly Rainbow Dash flies down from stocking the library*

"I think he has a point Twi. I mean this library organizing work is sooooo boring and I can't crush on Rarity! She's just not my type!"

NEXT UP: Will Rainbow Dash sort out his issues with Scootaloo! Can Spike crush on Rarity like she's supposed to? Will Princess Celestia put a stop to this mess once and for all?

106923 And the answer is!!!!! No.....

I suppose I should comment on the story itself.

You actually have a solid premise here, and unlike some readers I don't see the pace as rushed. Spike's discovery of Scootaloo's plight seems to flow naturally enough out of the events in the first chapter. His offer to stay with her is mostly out of compassion, and it seems to set the basis for a romance, but you haven't gone in there yet. Too many writers just plow straight in, so I like seeing a relationship gradually build.

However, I find that the story has problems with punctuation and formatting (namely the double spaces between paragraphs which really break up the flow of readings). It's main Achilles' heel though is the prose. It's breezy and easily readable which I think is a better side to err on than dense and overwritten. However, it's also dry and feels a bit clumsy, lacking a certain 'omph' that draws the reader in. As an amateur writer myself, I can sympathize because good prose style is really the toughest nut to crack in writing fiction.

I'll still be following this as I'm interested in seeing where it's going. Plus, your grasp of character and plotting are good. Though the above points are matters you may want to consider in writing future chapters. If you want me to go into more detail on these matters I can do so.

106923
First off hahahahahahahaha. That comment made my day.
Second, i don't really care for Sparity shipping. There i said it, get your pitchforks ready. I think Spike would be better off with someone closer to his own age.
Oh and ch. 2 will be roughly twice the length and be out hopefully by late Friday/Saturday.

Peace Out. and thanks for reading.

I do warn you nothing is perfect and that phrase is nothing more than a perception. If you want perfection go listen to some Queen.

Love IT! First Applebloom had a crush on Spike from the fic "Love's a Bloom", now it's Scootaloo's turn to feel the love of Spike:scootangel: :moustache: This is a great beginning! Can't wait to find out what happen next.

While I approve of mushy romance scenes, I feel the development of Scootaloo and Spike's feelings for each other was a little rushed.

I would tend to agree with Cloudhammer, the pacing was extremely fast, which would be just fine if this were a one-shot. It all depends on how you wanted to flesh it out, it just seemed a bit like the feelings were forced and spontaneous just to reach a romantic scene. It's not necessarily bad, especially since this is your first story. I still enjoyed it, it just seemed a bit rushed.

I agree with Cloudhammer. Also, was the Alladin reference really necessary?

I agree with Cloudhammer. Also, was the Alladin reference really necessary?

Looking good, depending on how long you want this to be it may or may not have been rushed. Personally because there was a time lapse which I estimate to be approximately a month since Scoots moved in I think it was well paced. Looking forward to the next chapter.

113127 It's not his first story...
113104
Also to both of you, it kinda happened over two weeks. Rushed when read, but time wise it seemed right considering that if you looked at how they act in the actual show, they really are just like each other.

113161 It was about as necessary as your comment, Scootaloo wants to fly, and Spike gave her the gift of flight.

113104
It wasn't that rushed. Well, maybe a little. This chapter is 5k and it's longer than most fics put in three chapters. Thanks for the comments though. I was always a little impatient when i read stories and could never take a slow build up. Me and my buddy Winter had a lot of fun writing this and I hope it translates into the fic.

Peace Out.

D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
SPIKEALOO FTW!

113180 Yea, and I didn't mean to sound super critical either, trying to fight my way through a bit of writer's block at the moment so i've been a little wound up :rainbowlaugh:

I didn't think the Aladdin reference was necessary, but it was the first thing in my mind the moment I saw the magic carpet.

... TOO MUCH CUTE... D'aaawww...

113223 Think about what Scootaloo really wanted to do, fly, Spike gave that to her - it was a good gift and I hate it how you people are misinterpreting that.

This chapter was awesome, but I only saw ONE problem.

"He thought about her pale pink hair flowing..."


Scootaloo has pale purple hair. At least, it looks that way to me.

113263 Pale Pink hair is what that color is, for a check look at MLP FIM wiki - it says it on there too

113275

Huh. Meh, that must just be my eyes messing with me.

Spikaloo??? This has been floating in head for weeks! Now to actually read it...

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