• Member Since 22nd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 10th, 2014

Scarlett


T

Comments and reviews very welcome.

A secret revealed tears apart Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
Can old enemies and rivals learn to forgive?
Will new friends fill the void left behind?
Will the Troublesome Twosome find a way to repair their bond, or will it be some other pony that will fill the holes in their hearts, with friendship, or even love?

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 166 )

This much? At chapter two? If I was you I'd be hinting at it rather than having full-blown character changes. It's well executed, and it doesn't feel rushed, but it does feel early. Know what I mean?

Then again, I'm going off the assumption that this isn't a 5-chapter deal.

Chapter 1 revised and I believe finished, thank you again for the input.


For those wondering, when finished this should be about 10 chapters and 20-25000 words, a short novella. Chapter 1 went to 4k words though so maybe even longer, lol. I hope it is just the first of many pony fics, and maybe will give me the impetus to start that original modern fantasy novel that's been floating in my head for years.

Can't wait to read more of this awesome story!

I'm on page four of chapter two, things have been going a bit slower for me of late as I am trying to prepare for a long trip out of the country for work as I am writing this. After chapter two there may be a bit of a wait for the next update, as I will be out of the states for awhile and I'm not sure where I'll be able to get internet where I am going yet.

This is great! I'm a big fan of those two, and I love what you've done with them. The descriptions of Silver's family were especially powerful--The Way It's Done. I'll be watching with great interest.

I'd like to see more of Diamond's parents, and maybe some background for how she got so spoiled--so far her mom seems pretty cool! But with how in-depth these chapters have been, I'm sure we'll get there. Great work, and thanks for writing!

Planning to add a bit more to - Twists and Rumors - to feature Twist, but it isn't ready yet.

Cool. Love to see somepony write good things about Tiara and Spoon, they're nice ponies, just a little non-emphatic and uncaring, but they're just foals.

This is a really good story. Great characterizations of Spoon & Tiara, as well as their familes, plus there's hints that the two of them might be undergoing a slow & steady character change. I look forward to more. :pinkiehappy:

I try not to abuse ellipses, especially in places where I technically should Use an Em dash, but for long pauses inside quotations, to me and ellipses just looks better.

Anyhow, chapter 3 is up, and while it may seem I'm changing a few things to quickly, keep in mind that we can all put on a mask for a little while, but how long can we keep it up?

its apparently late enough that I've forgotten all rules of capitalization, hopefully the story escaped that foible, though my previous comment did not.

dawww lovin the repentfull tiara but i gotta wonder where the whole scarlet going to the library thing is gonna end up but i can be patiant thanks for a great story so far :twilightblush::heart::trixieshiftright:

Went back and read the scenes you added, then read this chapter. Story is still excellent! Tiara's changes are really coming along, and you also added in a whole bunch of delightful implications! (AJ/Rarity, Snips bisexual & crushing on Trixie, Scoots crushing on Belle) I'm also loving the troll Bonnie there near the end.

I'm eager to see how these various romance threads might turn out, and also eager to see Silver Spoon get some more development time. I'm sure her and Scarlett will feature prominently next.

Also, sidenote: Fun to see I'm not the only person who thought to make Twist into Bon's employee/apprentice! I guess it IS a pretty obvious character direction, though.

Heh, honestly I probably borrowed the idea from you, you awesome dragon you *throws flowers*. I'd like to think most of my character designs are fairly original, but I knew I'd read somepony's story with that little detail, couldn't remember which, and it provides so much depth to Twist. I knew I wanted her to be poor and hardworking, and I loved that simple solution to illustrating both those traits, but couldn't remember what story I'd read it in. I'll make sure to credit you in the final author's note. Now if only I could remember what brony had connected Snail's snail cutie mark to escargot (they had made him a gourmand, I'm liking chef more and more, especially when I add in the savant element). That was the only other thing I intentionally used that hadn't been my idea alone or already established fanon- though sometimes it is hard to keep track of what is which, so correct me if I'm wrong. After all this community has a little bit of everything, up to and including pony on rock loving, "Oh Tom!"

Also, troll Bon Bon is canon, or at least head canon. :applecry: filled her bag with apples, and she trolled her way into 4 times as many, It was awesome.

12451
Hehe, yep, as far as I know I was the first one to make Twist into Bonnie's apprentice and/or worker. I thought it was a great idea. I named Bon's candy store, too. I figured it wasn't Sugarcube Corner because that's a bakery. I'm glad to see I inspired at least one person with my neat little headcanon. :)

Twist, a gourmand? I freaking love that. I may need to use that in the future. I had no real idea what to link his cutie mark to, other than his mental condition, which is just mean.

Such a nice story :3 I know it is not much of a proper review, but I do not have much more to say, not because it is not a good story but because I am not sure if I could describe it nicely :3 I would, however, like to read more whenever you have the time to put another chapter together ^^

14223 Thank you, if its hash criticism or something, I can take it. If its language, hablo espanol, aun que no soy nativo, hablo bastante. I enjoyed the depth involved in your story, thank you for commenting on mine.

I leave the country on saturday, I'll be able to write, eventually, but for the next while I will be packing, then travelling, so I'm not sure when.

Could have sworn I commented on this on though? Huh...
Regardless, five star work so far. Keep up the good work.

Minor edits, grammar and phrasing, no plot changes, no need to reread anything. Writing on chapter 4 has begun.

Found the fic in which Snails is a gourmand (eater of fine foods), its an uncharacteristically non-cloppy work by RagingSemi, "The stuff that colts are made of."
A good read, but Snails is far too normal for my tastes.

Coming slower than expected, sorry, working on it.

Not dead, just trying to get it to come out right.

CONFOUND YOU FOR MAKING ME CARE FOR THESE CUNTS!! (Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara are the cunts, not Twist and the CMC)
That and some occasional grammer and spelling errors, I think that this is a great fic and notable for a rarely travelled path using the cunts as the central chars.
I'll be keeping an eye out for more updates on this.

If you make an actual account I'd be happy to send you the google docs link. I'd love to have additional eyes to comment on any misspellings or grammar mistakes that you believe were not intentional. I don't have an editor.

Hey, 2 scenes into chapter 4. Finally the muse is flowing.

HAHA found out how to make an EMDASH on google docs, so I can go back and fix all my ellipses abuses, with copy and paste, take that bad grammar demons! Also, chapter four.

For those wondering, no character in this story in and of themselves is a true self-insert here, not even Scarlett. I took my pony pen name from the character I created, rather than the other way around.

While she shares my tendency towards indecision, shyness and my love of reading, she is much kinder than I am, and she does not have my abilities with either the written word or needle and thread.

Diamond received some of my insecurities, and other characters have various bits and pieces of myself, or people I know in them.

Just wondering if the gender dysphoria involves Scarlett or not.

Other than that question, This story is progressing nicely and I can't wait for the next chapter

Spoilers and comments do not mix, if you absolutely must know, create an account and send a PM. I can tell you that events in the next full chapter should muddy that issue a bit *evil laughter* :trixieshiftleft:

Nice story, really selling everypony and their *problems* look foward to moar.:twilightsmile::rainbowderp::yay:

Surprisingly the relationship between Tiara and Twist is a favorite of mine in this story. What a forgiving girl that Twist! I eagerly await more.

personally, im craving for silver spoon and diamond tiara to en together

If you are going to rate me down from where I'm at at least leave a comment with some constructive criticism please, arbitrary ratings either way don't improve the story. I still have no editor, so its quite possible I've missed some glaring errors. Or it could be that you have a problem with the characterization or plot, if so, let me know what bothers you, I may not change things, but you might just have a point. Early criticism did help me get the story on track, either way I want to hear from you all, the good, the bad, the wierd. . . still want to see that movie. :pinkiehappy:

I'm trying to catch up on episodes before continuing, youtube is very very very very slow here.

you could try to download the episodes at http://ponyarchive.org/
its really comfortable to just watch them anytime you want

I'm really loving this so far, and I don't know whom to feel more sorry for! The development you're giving everypony, especially the bullies but everypony else too, is amazing. I hope somepony gets a happy ending out of all of this. Very good work with the gender dysphoria characters, too - I certainly didn't see them coming. Eager to read more!

Thanks, 8 Dec- fixed some grammar, a "there" is now a "they're," a period is now a question mark. Minor stuff. I'm afraid the monthly update will be more the norm for now- trying to write more regularly, but time and inspiration are both in short supply lately.

A few vignettes that span the course of the story thus far.

Some of them a bit trollish, yet plausible, but they were fun to write and don't have a direct effect on the main story so far, hopefully not at all. Again trying to keep the mane six mostly in the background, but giving a few tidbits here and there can be fun. May end up needing to rewrite/change them if a future plot point needs a different pairing or I think it is beneficial in some way. I'm planning to finish this story. . .eventually and learn to draw ponies soonish, and then submit to EQ Daily.

Daw, I like the 'behind the scene' but was really hoping for Chapter 5 soon :fluttershysad:

Starting work on it my Friday night, which is your Friday day if in the US. . .I usually finish in one or two nights, but lately things have been hectic. Going to do my best. I'm out of the country for a bit, writing in between the work I have to do. Someday I'm going to leave the US on a vacation, not for work, I swear.

Finish in one or two nights once I actually get past re-outlining and start writing that is. I've added so many plot threads beyond the original quick outline that I have to re-read everything every time I sit down to write.

Fixed formatting issues on interlude, my apologies, forgot not everything as far as centering and paragraph indents transfers right from Google Docs.

:twilightsheepish: okay you had me going there with that last segment, great sleuthing silver spoon. like the story

Wow. :O So many snippits! And SO MUCH SHIPPING~

Glad to see this update. <3

this is very well written, i shall track this so i may enjoy it sober

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