"Often when you want a sandwich, you don't have one. Often when you have a sandwich, you don't want one."
In the Ponyville schooling system, story-time is represented by two seperate, yet equally important groups: The gangsta rapper who reads the tale, and the pony school children who are forced to listen to it. These are their stories... *Chung Chung*
--Rated Teen for cursing. A good deal of it. What did you expect? It's Ice Cube, for God's sake.--
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Okay readers, I have 2 predicaments.
1) I don't know if I made this as subtle as I wanted it to be. Not that I meant it to be all that subtle in the first place, but I might have been a little too gung-ho in making this. I want your honest feedback on the story. Don't worry about my feelings; hold nothing back.
2) I'm not sure what story I want Ice Cube to read next. So I'll leave it up to you, the readers, to mention what story you want him to read next. The fate of this story is in your hands.
Fic of the year.
1562924 That's the nicest sarcasm anybody's ever given me.
Oh my god that title.
After reading: This story wasn't exactly literate gold, but reading the ugly duckling in Ice Cube's voice was just amazing on so many levels.
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That Law and Order sound...
*read later*
I read this while listening to "Straight Outta Compton". That was the best thing I've read in a while.
Crazy mutha f*cka named Ice Cube! From a gang called "N*ggas With Attitude!"
faking sweet fic!!
This... was funnier than the last 10 comedy fics I've read combined. Excellent work, and welcome to the world of feature boxes and screaming fangirls. Or.... at least writing another chapter.
Oh and have a ho-broof.
I AM OKAY WITH THIS
I thought this was gonna end up being a troll fic, but it turned out to be really funny and well written.
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Ice Cube was really big twenty years ago, then he made Are We There Yet, which is one of the worst films I have ever seen in my life and that caused him to lose almost all credibility and its sequel beat any remaining credibility to death with a shovel and buried it in a shallow grave in somewhere in New Mexico. At least most of his other contemporaries went on to make good things.
^ Sums up his current career.
Peace Out.
1563215 *Chung Chung*
1563242 "When he's called off, he's got a sawed-off. Squeeze the trigger, and bodies are hauled off."
1563275 Man, I wish. It moved too quickly down the line for a featured, but hey, Fimfiction's gonna do what Fimfiction's gonna do. Oh, and ho-broof /)
1563594 1563607 Marine marksman and TNaB like my story? Sheeit. Still, nobody's told me what story he should read next. Maybe Goldilocks.
1563648 Ice Cube will always be a legend. Besides, even if he did give us "Are We There Yet", he also gave us "Fuck the Police", "Us", "Good Day", "Gangsta Rap Made Me Do It", and "Ghetto Vet". I believe he's earned some forgiveness.
1563749
I must agree with what this fine sir has suggested.
Hmm, maybe one of the Disney fairy tales... like Star Wars?
1563835
The pain is still fresh.
Oh, and hello, by the way! I don't believe we have met, which is odd, considering the amount of stories and watchers you have...
Right, I'll go lurk elsewhere!
1563835 I tthink you mean "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish". Also, I'll consider Robin Hood. Isn't it a novel, though?
1563780 Haha, I wish. Unfortunately, Star Wars is a long saga. Ice Cube is reading nursery rhymes and others of the sort.
1564086 Jesus Christ, yes! So many possibilities. I'll begin writing another chapter tomorow... after I'm done teaching, and grading, and answering E-Mails... Okay, I'll start Tuesday on election day. I sure as hell aint' voting for anyone.
Ice cube may be old but he still a boss he tell it how it is fo true
1564194 Yep. Chemistry.
1564358 Haha. That was Spanish for me. Spanish kicked my ass like I owed it money.
1564449 SECONDED
1564449>>1564454 THIRDED
1564503 Blood orgy? I haven't done that since college. Agreed.
1564503 I have to get up early for work.
1564520>>1564537 We can set up a GDoc and just collab the heck out of things, or is there another way you'd prefer to work?
1564548 1564537 Nuclear ships I can handle, GDoc's I cannot figure out. So please, lead the way.
Thumbs up just for the title. Will read later, when I get the chance
wow. all of my favs are belong to you.
Snow White (as in, coke), Cinderella (crackarella more like it) Hanzel and Gretel (run from da police!) Little Red Riding Ho you already had listed, Little Spermaid, N*igga with da golden goose... the list goes ever on and on...
1566238 *Claps a bit faster*
best ending
MOAR
Oh Ice Cube.
I can't stop laughing from imagining this... MOAR
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Takes more than one person to converge.
I was expecting something much more random than this, but it was done surprisingly well, so thumbs up from me!
He said it!
Please do Little Red Riding Hood next, please???
1580146 Can I tell you a secret? *Leans in close* *whispers in ear* "I'm in the process of making that very chapter, and I'm almost done.
1580184 Don't spit in my ear, dude! It's very rude when you do that . . .
And now we need more references to old school rappers
1580201 I may or may not be planning to do some stories similar to this, all involving rappers in Equestria. Example: "Ol' Dirty Bastard Gives Public Service Anouncements in Ponyville".
*Sees title*
ICE CUBE, MOTHAFUCKA!
*Clicks to actually read*
After reading: Holy shit, this is the best fic of its kind. And I've read a lot of stuff like this. A LOT. Safe to say, this one actually has a followable storyline. If you don't keep writing this, Imma cap yo ass in ITS ass. LIKE A BAWS.
You've done it once again!
This got me so amused, this is the only story I've favorited that's not featured...
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I DEMAND MOAR PLESE
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHABAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
This made my day, well done!
"Captain Shitstain." Oh God!
In all seriousness, though, I'm a big fan of classic fairy tales from all over the world. A few stories I would love to recommend are
Prince Ivan, the Witch Baby, and the Little Sister of the Sun (A Russian fairy tale. In Soviet Russia, fairy tales read YOU!)
The Bamboo Cutter's Daughter (A Japanese fairy tale.)
And finally, if you haven't done Cinderella yet, I recommend Yeh-Shen, which is basically a Chinese version of the story, albeit a little more fantastical in its scope. I can't wait to hear how Ice Cube would screw it up:
"This here's a story about a bitch in China. Her big sis was a ho. So was her mama. The prince tried fitting General Tsao's chicken on their feet, but only Yeh-Shen was sexy enough that he wanted to eat off her."
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Shituation.
Me likey.
FUCK YES.