Stray Ardor

by thewaffler

Direct Sequel

Hi, to everyone that enjoyed this fic. I have good news. There is a direct sequel called: The After Years. It takes both five and ten years after the events of this story and chronicles what happened to Spike, Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Snips and Snails, from Prom to Adulthood.

*Note: if the editing is meh. I kinda lost my editor. Sorry.

Comments

[Rhythmic Gravity Chance]

It was fluffy and heart warming to read.
I only wish you didn't use that Aladdin song.....
Oh well your it's your fiction.

[BlackWidower]

This was... okay, this was bad.

Fist of all the opening feels a bit rushed and unusual. Spike just happens to discover Scootaloo sleeping in the clubhouse? And her two best friends never knew or did anything before then? Even though they would have spent a lot more time with her and at the treehouse?

I'll buy that Spike immediately came up with the idea of letting her move in, but i don't see why you had to increase the size of her house.

Then, I assume the other Crusaders found out she started living with them. Why aren't they offended that their best friend never trusted them with such a secret?

Once you pulled out the magic carpet, as a joke, A Whole New World started playing in my head. Then I turn the page and see you actually did that. That's really corny my friend.

Also, overall, the dialogue and pacing is awkward and it simply doesn't feel right.

I could probably go over that in detail, but it's hard enough typing with one hand. So, that's it.

Oh, and the scene with DT should have gone somewhere. Why didn't it?

[The Cure]

Love it when you say meh it reminds me of skydoesminecraft

[thewaffler]

3087657
To be honest, I've never liked the term everypony, because it's grammatically not a word and it feels exclusive to equines when in the show we see griffins, a minotaur, cows, bears, mules, dragons, and even the pets have a level of sentience.

[thewaffler]

3480481
In all honesty me and my co-writer of this fic thought it was good idea at the time, it was fairly innocent and when we got the initial backlash it was really too late to change anything because it would mean having to rewrite the entire chapter, all I can say is that I learned my lesson and that why none of the other chapters and sequels have any musical numbers in them. We wrote this almost two years ago and lessons have been learned.

Thanks for reading it and finally get me to change that scene.

[thewaffler]

3685754
Wow that's a lot of comments Thanks a lot. Yes, Moon Sugar is a an Elder Scrolls reference that my editor wanted to include. As for Spike x CMC, I normally prefer the Spike x Sweetie Belle, which is the partial focus for my adventure story You and I, Me and You. SS and DT get better in the sequels, so yeah... I didn't make them the punching bag that a lot of writers are want to do. I was trying to go for a Wonder Years/ That 70's Show kinda vibe. No huge drama, just characters growing up.

[Pony Jack]

3686487
Thanks for replying!
You like SpikeBelle too?! That... is... AWESOME!!!
BTW, your idea for this fic was amazing!
Oh, and one more thing, I just gots to know, Who is your overall favorite MLP:FiM character?

[thewaffler]

3689583
Favorite character is Zecora , but she' difficult to write because of the rhyming.

[thewaffler]

3996307
Thank you and glad you enjoyed the fic.

[Crosssthepony]

How did you put 12 ponies when you can only have 5

[thewaffler]

4071457
That's a easy question, you see along time ago on this site you could put an unlimited amount of characters in the character box, this fic was written before the 5 character limitation.

[Rhythmic Gravity Chance]

The edit on chapter two was good idea, it made the story a better read to me the second time.

[thewaffler]

4398173
Yeah, thanks. At the time it was a good idea and my co-writer had no issues with it, but after the overwhelming about of negativity and looking at objectively, it had to be changed.

[lunaishot]

3039053

Da fuk