Part 20: The Perfect Date
The perfect date
“The dress must be the best one there. You have always guaranteed quality, and in this case it must be perfect.”
“The idea of purposely making a dress less than perfect is... is...”
Part 20
“A Cuteceñera? What did I do to deserve this?” Snails asked the heavens as he walked down the street. Shaking his head, he looked around town. Pinkie Pie was already hard at work, running from store to store, stall to stall, buying supplies.
Gisa giggled beside him, “You? Nothing, nothing at all. This is for Escargot.”
“Not funny.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad, just think about the Cuteceñera you had when you got your cutie mark.” Gisa said.
Snails blinked and looked at the little griffin. “What? I never had one.”
Gisa stopped in her tracks and blinked in confusion. “If it’s such a big deal, why didn’t you have one?”
“It’s usually just for fillies. Colts take pride in it, but don’t get a frilly party.” Snails watched Noi and Dinky laughing and playing jump rope with Piña. “Uggh. I need to find some colt stuff to do.”
“Like what? Wallowing in the mud?” Gisa huffed and stuck her beak up in mock indignation.
“It’s not wallowing, it’s hoofball, and it’s fun. Except I don’t want to fall in puddles, or get wet.” Snails said with a sigh.
“Wus.” Gisa said with a chuckle, “Hey, is that your father with Filthy Rich?” The little grifflet might be small, but she still had the eyes of a hawk. Or eagle. Definitely bird’s eyes of some kind.
It took a few moments for Snails to see what she was talking about: on the far side of the market, he could see Filthy Rich gesticulating excitedly as he talked with Long Haul. Normally, such things would never really worry Snails, but over the last few months, nothing was normal about his life.
“Let’s go see what’s going on.” Snails said, bounding across the market. He stopped a short distance away behind the Foal Free Press stand. He was close enough to hear, but not close enough to intrude on the conversation.
“… I know you’re not considering sending your colt there, but the mere fact that the princesses have taken an interest.” Filthy Rich went on, “The chances for social advancement cannot be denied.”
“I’m a labor pony, I’m not concerned with social advancement.” Long Haul said. “And the fact that everyone is taking interest in Snails isn’t a problem, as long as he remembers his place, and his duty to our family.”
“I understand, but the possibility that one of the princesses may show up at this event, and with the princesses already familiar with Snails- well, it could be big!” Filthy Rich said, smiling. “It could lead to the possibility of my daughter impressing the princess, and my family gaining better contracts.”
“And that’s why you want Snails to take her to Escargot’s Cuteceñera?” LongHaul said. “I wouldn’t think he would be interested in something so frilly and girly.”
“But in this case, he would be escorting my beautiful daughter as a gentlestallion.”
Gisa looked at Snails, confused, “Beautiful?” Then stuck her claw towards her beak making a gagging motion.
“How about I include some fresh cabbage and rice into the deal?” Filthy Rich said with a smile. He could always unload some of the surplus cabbage.
“Deal.” Long Haul said, shaking hooves.
“Dad?” Snails trotted up, shocked.
Mr. Rich glanced over his shoulder and nodded to Snails, “Make sure it goes well.”
“What?” Snails blinked, looking horrified.
“Perfect timing! I have a job for you, my son. You must escort Diamond Tiara to Escargot’s Cuteceñera.” Turning to the colt, he looked at him and nodded firmly, “It is a matter of family honor and duty.”
“It’s for food!” Snails said, blinking in shock.
His father smiled, “That too, but it could also lead to more shipping contracts.”
“You… I…” Snails stammered, at a loss.
“I need this to be the perfect date. You need to take proper care of this young princess.” Ruffling his mane, “You can use the fancy jacket we have for you. Don’t mess this up.”
“But…” Snails looked at Gisa for help as his father trotted off.
“For cabbage and rice? What kind of a father sells their son for cabbage and rice?” Gisa said, then looked up, “Oh right, yours.”
“And Diamond Tiara of all ponies! What am I going to do?” Snails blinked, and made his towards Rarity’s shop.
“Well, at least it’s going to be a really short party.” Gisa said with a giggle.
Blinking, Snails looked down, “What party? If I’m stuck escorting Diamond Tiara, then Escargot can’t go. And its Escargot’s party.”
“Do you want to go to the party?” Gisa asked, blinking.
“Well, not really. I don’t like being fussed over, or being the center of attention. But if Escargot doesn’t show up for her own party, she’ll get in trouble… or worse, everyone will panic.” Snails said, opening the door to Rarity’s shop.
He froze in the doorway. Diamond Tiara and Spoiled Rich were already there. Diamond was sitting proudly by her mother’s side, looking smug. She looked as clean and pampered as always.
“The dress must be the best one there. You have always guaranteed quality, and in this case it must be perfect.” Spoiled Rich said firmly.
“I will do my best.” Rarity said proudly.
“My daughter must outshine everypony there, including Escargot.” Mrs. Rich stated firmly.
Rarity blinked, “You are aware I am also making Escargot’s dress? And as the party girl, her dress can be nothing less than divine.”
“I am also aware that I am a paying customer, as well as a member of the Ponyville elite.” Spoiled stated calmly. “If you cannot make my daughter’s dress better than Escargot’s, then perhaps you should consider spending less time on Escargot’s dress.”
Opalescence stalked out from the kitchen and hissed at Gisa.
“I can’t skimp or sacrifice on a dress I have promised to the person the party is for, that would be unethical, improper and uncouth.” Rarity protested.
Mrs. Rich stuck her nose in the air, “Then perhaps your skill and business capabilities have been exaggerated. If that is the case, I may need to let the elite here- and in Canterlot- know, so they can take their business to somepony with more skill.”
Turning to face Opal, Gisa spread her forelegs and wings, puffing out the feathers on her head, and raising the fur on her back. Hissing back at Opal, Gisa's tail thrashed back and forth.
“I will do what I can to accommodate your wishes.” Rarity said, looking a little offended.
“Good. See that something is done for that colt. Make him look at least somewhat presentable for the party.” Mrs Rich said, waving a hoof dismissively at Snails. “Come on dear, we have an appointment at the spa for a therapeutic mane styling.”
Opal mewed and retreated to the kitchen, obviously a safer place than the showroom.
Walking past Snails, Diamond Tiara stuck her nose up as well, “Don’t disappoint me.”
Closing the door, Snails turned to Rarity, “It’s ok ma’am, you can make Escargot’s dress simple and plain if you need. I won’t mind or be offended.”
Gisa sat looking at Snails and Rarity with concern.
“What?!?” Rarity blinked and stumbled backwards in shock, “The idea of purposely making a dress less than perfect is... is...”
“It won’t be less than perfect, it will be perfect for Escargot, no matter how it looks, just because it came from you.” Snails smiled.
“This is my reputation on the line.” Rarity said, “If Escargot’s dress is not perfect, then what does that say about me?”
“Then don’t make a dress, I don’t really need one anyway… ‘sides, I don’t even know if Escargot will be able to go.” Snails said, looking down. “I’m supposed to take Diamond Tiara as me.”
“Well then, how do you intend to be there as two different ponies?” Rarity asked, tilting her head as she lay down on her couch pulling out a pad and colored pencils.
“Well since there isn’t like, some magic pool I could dive into and make a copy of myself, I guess I’ll need to change back and forth. Show up as Snails, sneak off, and get changed to Escargot, then change as needed.” Snails sighed, “This means a very simple dress that’s easy to get into and out of would be best.”
“No, no there is not. And if there were, it would not be appropriate to use such a thing.” Rarity said, trying to look aloof. “So you require something that you can change into and out of quickly. Something that will be plain, yet elegant. Functional yet unique. Minimal, yet eye-catching”
“And I’ll need to find a place that I can change quickly, and dry off faster.” Snails said with a quick nod.
“I will see what I can do. Though, Gisa may need to help you in this.” Rarity said with a smile.
Rearing up on her hind paws, Gisa gave a salute, “Here to serve and protect the princess!”
“Perfect, darling. We shall make this the best Cuteceñera, and a perfect date to boot!”
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Huh... Well this couldn't possible go wrong in any way at all.
... Anypony wonder if Snails' snout is like that because he's going through puberty and it's sorta the awkward middle stage between a rounded mare snout and the broad square stallion one?
Loved the update!
Ah, Gisa, where would be Snails if you are not there to rub some salt into his wounds?
So, Long Haul has the worst traits of BOTH of Saotome's parents.
My advice for Snails: leave two notes on the kitchen table. From Escargot: I and Gisa are going to Canterlot.
From Snails: ROYAL ORDER FROM CELESTIA AND LUNA AND TWILIGHT. SORRY DAD. THREE PRINCESSES TRUMP ONE CRAZY STALLION.
What could possible go wrong?
7331121 You wound Genma's pride. He sold his son for food hundreds of times, Haul only managed one so far.
He'll need to work hard to catch up.
7331008
7331144 Invoke Murphy and he's gonna kick your teeth in.
Can we seriously have karma begin to catch up to Long Haul? So did the mirror pool episode not happen yet or did the town think it was just Pinkie being Pinkie?
7331245
I think he knows about the whole Pinkpocolypse episode, but let's face it. From the perspective of a depressed, stressed, adolescent colt's mind; the mirror pool seems kinda worth the risk.
And yes, we all hope that Long Haul doesn't get the Karma Houdini treatment. Perhaps, if we are lucky, good, and eat all our veggies; Long Haul will get the Celestia Fury treatment instead!
Of course Rarity would support the zany 'two dates at once plan", it's something right out of one of her romance novels even ignoring the fact there is only one date involved. Perfectly in character for her... and still makes me facehoof.
Seriously, I love this story. :)
7331245
I'm pretty sure Rarity remembers it.
Seems to me as if she's doing the Rarity version of "Nope. Never heard of it. And if you know what's good for you, you've never heard of it, either."
--Spade
I believe there was a Ranma/Gold Digger fanfiction where he obtained a magic ring that produced garments in two colors, red and blue (depending on which gender he was at the time) that would switch colors. Then again, I remember reading a third chapter to Prospero Hibiki's ' On That Winter's Day, and can remember Carrot Glance/Contrabardus having a web comic about a one armed food service worker. I even remember a comic called Oberon that had a similar plot to Two Kinds, but was much better structured and was more age appropriate. I also remember a comic about a one winged angel with a personality disorder that was both Machiavellian and reminiscent of the little prince.
love it next few chapters please
This can only end in tears... and tears. The dress will be destroyed.
7331008 I love how she tried to hide the Mirror Pool.
That would've been a S***storm by itself.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH HATERID I HAVE FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!!!
Edit: For Snails to take Diamond Tiara and his father selling him out for cabbages.
7331308 Now all we need are some zany, exotic martial arts challengers (or magician challengers, if you prefer...) and we would have the perfect feel of a chapter of Ranma 1/2.
You forgot the stinkin' fish and TWO pickles! Honestly, the value of sons has gone down the last couple decades....
“How about I include some fresh cabbage and rice into the deal?” Filthy Rich said with a smile. He could always unload some of the surplus cabbage.
1:31
7708026
Except that consistency within the story is most important when you've gotten this far in and that wouldn't really be consistent with how Snails and the tone have developed.
Who?
9682051
images5.fanpop.com/image/polls/997000/997017_1333994328326_full.png
Pina. Pina Colada.