Too Silly
“Till we die from our brains exploding.” Dinky sighed.
“Oh come on.” Sweetie Belle sighed.
“Is it too late to disappear in the Everfree forever?” Escargot whimpered.
Part 11
Having a day off actually felt good. Snips had come over, and they’d played some board games. He didn’t have to hide anything, or worry about, he could just be himself. He spent the entire day lying in bed, but the medicine had worked well, as had an elixir from Zecora. The zebra’s elixir had eased the cough and sped his recovery.
Since Celestia had spoken with Twilight, the town seemed to have calmed down. The girls hadn’t been by again, but they were probably off on some cutie mark quest. Besides, they rarely hung around with colts.
Noot, noot!
Noot, noot!
“And, so it begins.” Snails hit the alarm clock, stretching out with a yawn.
Sliding his way wearily out of bed, he looked at himself in the mirror. He tried a few poses, doing his best to look like a big strong stallion. With a sigh, he shook his head. He had to impress his father somehow.
As Snails opened the door, he could see his mom in the bathroom. She huffed in annoyance as she rubbed the collar of a shirt under running water. “Darn stains.”
Absently, Snails turned to Escargot’s room since the bathroom was occupied. “Liquid soap, tablespoon of baking soda, and some peroxide.” He said it without really thinking about it. It’s what Rarity taught him in boot camp several times and made him repeat it until he knew it without thinking.
“You shouldn’t disturb your mother when she’s working.” His dad said, sternly watching Snails as he passed. “Leave the housework to her.”
“Yes, father.” Keeping his head low, he bit his tongue. If he slipped like that again... after all, Rarity’s fashion boot camp was for Escargot. Cleaning was decidedly not a real stallion’s job.
‘Well, I may as well slip into the spare room and get things ready there first.’ Opening the door to Escargot’s room, Snails blinked in alarm when he saw Gisa on the bed.
Seeing an intruder... AND a male, no less... opening the door without knocking was more than enough to put Gisa into full guardian mode. She adopted an aggressive, predatory posture, spread her wings wide, feathers fluffed in fury, and roared at Snails, rattling windowpanes around the block.
Slamming the door shut in a panic, Snails leaned against the door panting hard, his chest heaving in fright. “For a little thing, she’s got big lungs.”
“Careful Snails, Gisa is protecting Escargot’s room. You need to knock first and ask permission.”
“I heard, mom.” He shook his head and huffed to himself. Seeking respite and food, Snails turned and trotted down to the kitchen. As he sat, he watched his father carefully.
“See, I told you you could lick that cold without magic and without being pampered like a snivelling unicorn. You need to be strong, and self-reliant.” His father said, sipping coffee and watching Snails with smug approval.
“Yes, sir.” Snails hummed and retrieved some muffins and butter. He moved to the table and pondered his breakfast.
“So, what are your plans for today?” Long Haul glanced at Snails.
“I was thinking of helping Snips out, he’s thinking of building a treehouse.” Taking a bite from the muffin he stopped. Standing up he grabbed a muffin and headed back to the spare room.
“So you’re finally doing something to be a stallion? Don’t let me down, son.” His father sipped his coffee, the corners of his mouth turning up ever so slightly. “Building is a good hard working occupation.”
Snails returned to Escargot’s room, licking his lips nervously. Taking a deep breath, Snails put his hoof on the door. “One… two…” Opening the door as quickly as his fear-honed reflexes allowed, he slid the muffin inside and slammed it shut once more. Squeezing his eyes shut, he cringed, but didn’t hear anything. Slowly, he opened his eyes to make sure his forehoof was still there.
“I wonder if there’s a book on ‘how to feed your griffin’? I’ll have to check the library.” Snails shook the distractions from his head, returning once more to the kitchen table to finish his breakfast.
Content and a little weightier, he snuck back upstairs, finding the bathroom thankfully empty. It only took a quick blast of cold water for his mane to grow, and pink fur to appear again. Taking a breath, Escargot walked to her room and opened the door.
Gisa was a blur of motion. She leapt off the bed and tackled Escargot full force, knocking the filly to the ground. Giggling, she sat on Escargot’s belly and flooded the room with her questions, tail flicking excitedly. “You’re back! How did your test go? What’s Celestia like? Did you see Luna?”
Escargot coughed politely. Yet again, the little griffin was sitting on a sensitive spot. At least he wasn’t a colt right now or that might have hurt, a lot more than it had, anyways. “Hi Gisa, good to see you too.”
“I’ve been keeping an eye on your room. Dumb males keep coming in without knocking, though Miss Haul is nice, she brought me scones!”
“Let me guess: the way to a griffin’s heart is through their stomach?” Escargot rolled the griffin off her and stood up, retrieving her bags from the dresser.
“Or pocket book. We griffins are a simple folk.” Gisa shrugged and hopped onto the filly’s back.
Escargot stopped beside the dresser to give Gisa the opportunity to pick up the saddle bags and place them on Escargot’s back.
“So, what’s Celestia like?” Gisa asked eagerly as Escargot trotted down the stairs.
Glancing over her shoulder, Escargot smiled back, “Wise, strong, and powerful, but at the same time, somehow playful and caring. I can’t exactly put my hoof on it though.”
With barely a thought, Escargot’s horn lit and the door unlocked and opened. “Luna’s the surprising one though, you’d always think she was scary but, she’s really...”
“No magic in the house!” Long Haul yelled angrily. “Don’t make me rethink your invitation to stay here!”
Cringing, Escargot bit his lip. Why did he do that? He knew better than to test her father. It’s a basic rule, he should never forget that. “Sorry, sir.”
Closing the door with his hooves, Escargot pointed himself towards Twilight’s castle. Head low, he thought about being Snails. He had never had any real training in magic, he had never worried about using it, because it wasn’t something he had.
“Your magic’s getting better. You’re starting to use it second nature now.” Gisa said.
“Unfortunately. I’m really going to have to watch that Gisa, I could upset people.” Looking down the street, Escargot saw the girls waiting for her at Twilight’s castle.
As they spotted Escargot, Sweetie Belle and Dinky charged up and gave him a tackle hug, “It’s so good to have you back!” Sweetie Belle said, “Twilight was driving the town nuts.”
Blushing Escargot looked down. “Sorry, I wasn’t allowed to talk to her, or you.”
“We heard.” Apple Bloom said, “Celestia was giving you a friendship test, and you passed!”
“Who’s your friend?” Dinky asked.
“I’m Gisa, her assistant!” Gisa stroke a proud pose.
“Oh, just like a real princess,” Noi said giggling.
“I know, it’s all just too silly.” Escargot said.
“No way, it shows trust and responsibility!” Sweetie Belle turned heading for the castle.
“Escargot?” The voice came from behind her.
He turned and saw First Base standing there somewhat shyly.
“Oh hi Base, what’s up?” Escargot smiled at him, though he felt Gisa’s talons tightening on her back.
“I wanted to apologize for last week. I know it was the potion, but it still wasn’t right.” Quickly he held out a bundle of flowers to Escargot. “Here.”
Blushing, Escargot took them and watched as First Base turned and ran. “Okay, correction: that was too silly.”
“D’aww!” All three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders fluttered their hooves, “Somepony has a special somepony!”
Groaning, Escargot walked inside the castle. “I don’t have a special somepony. Ask Gisa.”
“Well, other than that griffin that wants to marry both of us.” Gisa said and fluffed her feathers. “Males. Ugh.”
“Hello girls.” Twilight observed the group. “Today’s going to be a special day. Apple Bloom is going to be working on potions here. Dinky, Sweetie Belle, and Escargot will be with me in the lab, practicing magic. Noi and Scootaloo will be helping Heart Wrench.”
All the girls high-hoofed, then looked at Escargot expectantly. Nervously, Escargot joined in, and the girls cheered. “Friendship power!”
As the girls spread out, the three unicorn foals looked at each other and opened their books. Twilight however shook her head, smiling, “Nope, today we are going to do something more fun.”
“Fun?” Dinky asked, clearly interested..
“Yep! You three are going to work together and play a game.” Twilight set a large wooden box on the table.
All the girls perked up at that, looking at the box expectantly and eagerly, “What kind of fun?”
“Fun-damentals!” Twilight said, giggling at her own joke and smiling brightly as she emptied a box of gears on the table. “You can’t spell Fundamentals without Fun!”
Escargot groaned in dismay. He had read about this once, and it wasn’t fun. It was mental.
“Each one of you picks up a piece on after another, and joins it with another gear in the air. Once you start them spinning, just keep adding gears.” Twilight said cheerfully.
“Till we die from our brains exploding.” Dinky sighed.
“Oh come on.” Sweetie Belle sighed.
“Is it too late to disappear in the Everfree forever?” Escargot whimpered.
“I loved playing with these when I was your age.” Twilight said, still smiling brightly. (And perhaps even worse, sincerely.) “Once I even disassembled an old cloud machine and made it work! But then mom took it away because I filled the kitchen with clouds.”