• Member Since 22nd Oct, 2012
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Spike’s having a great time with his new hobby, pyromancy.

Twilight has a few concerns. Mainly, that one mishap could cause all of Ponyville to burn down. So, of course, she takes a few precautionary measures.

Just a few.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 109 )

I lol'ed to this. And yeah, Ponyville gonna Ponyville, Twilight gonna Sparkle, Spike gonna burn.

Hillbe #3 · Mar 7th, 2016 · · 4 ·

A pink and green rolling fire ball ignited all items of a flammable nature :twilightoops:
Dihydrogen monoxide is explosive ask Sweetie Belle :duck:
but that's water! :unsuresweetie: just stupid H2O
:moustache: we all have seen your cooking
:pinkiegasp: I burned down the 4th wall
:fluttercry: poor every pony

I'm split on this one, mostly because I can't help but think about it more than I should. Twilight's horrifically insensitive at times and the reasoning behind the last scene has more than a few holes in it, yet parts of it were quite amusing.

In all, this is a fun story. I'm just not the target audience.

7005561 Yeah, Twilight is fairly insensitive in this story. She's a bit exaggerated in that way, especially now that in the show she's grown as a character by the time she's become a princess. I took a few liberties. I at least tried to keep her mind hecka focused on safety so her dismissals of Spike's comments were at least somewhat believable, but I think I stretched it in that regard.

I'm glad you found some enjoyment out of it, though. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :twilightsmile:


Poor Spike, really. It's a flammable world out there.

Good job on this. The humor had the right level of exaggeration, and everyone involved learned a valuable lesson by the end.

I'm glad I read this, the running instincts joke was funny, the absurdity of the fire was funny, I think my favorite part was

Twilight looked up from her book on archaic reading techniques and yawned. Catching up on the Crystal Empire books had stretched well into the afternoon, but she didn’t feel the need to take a break. Her list of books to read wasn’t getting any shorter.

so meta!

7005633 7005648

I'm glad to hear y'all enjoyed it :> It's always interesting to hear why people like my stories.

technicaly twilight was risking something worse with the broon closte
compressed oxygen and fire = bad.

Nopony smelled the methane at all?:rainbowhuh:

There have been two huge gas and gasoline explosions in Mexico, and believe me, everyone could smell the fumes just before the bang.

Pure methane is odourless. It is possible that ponies don't add the extra compound to give a smell that humans give.

7005980 If methane's not odourless & colourless, then Google lied to me D:

7005844 The oxygen wouldn't be all that compressed, though, in this case. If you close the door, the air pressure would barely change, if at all.

However, I do agree with your equation there, in general :P

Wow. Brafuckingvo. I went from laughing my ass off to stunned silence thanks to this sentence.

Spike looked up at Twilight, twiddling his thumbs. “It was fun, until you made me feel like a freak.”

well done.

Methane by itself is odorless and colorless, but methanethiol (which has a distinct smell) is almost always added so that gas leaks can be easily detected.

Spike caught the fireball in his claw and presented it to Twilight. “Ta-da!” He tossed it back and forth between his claws, the ball making a low fwoof sound with every toss.

Alas, Power Spike has discovered a new superpower, and can now make baseball analogies while he fights crime!

Its citizens ... munching on one of many dishes prefixed with either “hay” or “apple”.

Ain't that just how it is. It's refreshing when people point out these clichés with such cheeky straightforwardness.

In my mind, I am screaming.

They walked off together towards the barn. Over the blaze that used to be Ponyville, the sun shone as it drifted behind the horizon, the biggest fireball there ever was.

Sooo... all went well I take it?

That was quite a bleak ending. I'd say that's what you call 'black comedy'.

Well as the saying goes, "F is for fire that burns down the whole town..."

Like, you and Rarity have magic and Rainbow has wings and Applejack has apples and Pinkie has… you know.

No Fluttershy love? :fluttercry:

Overall an entertaining read. Twilight felt more like early series Twilight, but in a good way. Borderline Lesson Zero. I kinda felt bad for Spike after a certain point (more specifically when Twilight got involved).

Is Pyrokinesis different that Pyromancy?


Yep. Pyromancy is doing firey stuff with magic while pyrokinesis is doing firey stuff with your miiind.

genraly, Pyrokinesis would allow one to manipulate existing fire. Pyromancy allows them to create and manipulate it.

but they are very similar, and considered the same. those they do have small differences, they are almost the same.

7006770 Pyrokinesis generally implies the ability to psychicly control the fire with ones mind. Pyromancy however is more controlling in with your hands.

:rainbowlaugh: Love it. Love how Twilight is so overly paranoid and over analytical. Something i honestly don't see many fics add for some reason. Also love how deep it gets at the end with how Twilight made Spike feel like a freak and fear his own power. Spike would make a good X-man.


Fluttershy looked down at the ground. “She, um… she dropped and rolled, but forgot to stop.”

That line! Right there! Made my day!!!:rainbowlaugh:

This doesn't fell like a comedy at all. It has its funny moments, but in all, it's quite depressing, seeing how control freak can destroy passion of the young mind.
Adding the fact that by freak accident, her paranoia proved her right, makes it even worse.

Spike, next time you need to practice something safer, like Necromancy.

7006748 To hell with Fluttershy. She's Spike in this fic.

♫ U is for Unfortunate, you ought to see them frown... ♫

Murphy's law - whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

At least there's a kinda-sorta happy-end.

Well, it IS a happy-end. It's Ponyville, they've faced worse :rainbowlaugh:

I enjoyed this fic, though it seemed a bit uneven. It was like funny, funny, funny, and then it turns somber and it's like running into a brick wall.

I think it might work better if the somber part happened while Twi was trying to lock Spike in the closet. Then he tells her he feels like she's locking some freak away and she realizes what she's done and how obsessive she's become and allows him to practice on the castle balcony...

At which point all hell breaks loose. :rainbowlaugh:

Eh. I'm not fond about how often the show makes Spike the buttmonkey, and this one kind of goes there, too. Well written, but not my thing, I think.

That...wasn't really funny. I can see what you're aiming for, but it didn't really work for me. Much too grim and depressing for me to properly enjoy it. Sorry.

so is the humor here twilight being a giant overbearing jerk?

seriously. there really isn't a fine line between being a manic obsessor and being a raging asshole. it's more like a 5 lane highway and your characterization crosses it and keeps going. it's good that you recognized it at the end but there was nothing learned and no apologies given.

the situation you created in your story is just plain bad parenting.

7005575 Celestia is secretly a pyromaniac.

Tis confirmed by the largest fireball on record in their current galaxy.


No Fluttershy love? :fluttercry:

Nah, adding "Fluttershy has animals" or "Rainbow and Fluttershy have wings" hurt the flow of that line for me.

7007044 Yes, Twilight’s obsession with being safe discouraged Spike greatly, but Twilight did learn her lesson, and Spike still retained his passion by the end. Plus, the chances of that freak accident happening were so low in the first place. The reason it happened was very convoluted on purpose.

But I can see how this might be depressing. I aim to write things so ridiculous that readers don’t take it too seriously, but play it straight enough that readers take it seriously enough to follow it. It’s such a hard line to straddle, though, I’m finding.

7007519 7007547 I'm sorry to hear neither of you enjoyed it, but regardless, thank you for giving it a try. :twilightsmile:

7008085 Celestia's been juggling the sun for at least a thousand years! Fanon confirmed :V

Um, the sudden 'town is on fire and burning to the ground' bit doesn't fit real well. It felt like a poorly located Twilight paranoia dream rather than a consequence of Spike having lots of fun and the fire somehow getting out and setting crystal on fire or something. So, I'd say your story could use some more work still. This would be a bit more amusing if the castle actually turned out to be flammable or if Spike was being really safe somehow and somepony's stupidity was really what responsible for the fire getting out of hand.

Huh. I misread "pyromancy" in the summary as "pharmacy."

... Pyromancy makes a lot more sense.

Spike's new hobby is pharmacy?

Is it dangerous to himself and others? Yes.

Would Twilight not want Spike doing it, and imply he was wrong for doing it? Yes.

Could misuse of it destroy the town? Just about as easily as a fireball the size of a baseball could so...

It checks out.

Despite being labeled as a comedy, I couldn't put it in my Comedy folder due to the extremely well executed mood whiplash. GGWP, author.

Hmmm.... I was thinking it would be funnier if Twilight started the fire while cutting the hole. And then sent a letter to Celestia asking her to supervise Spike, since 'juggling balls of fire' is her thing.

7008865 Secretly burns...


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