• Member Since 5th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Clockworklich


T

Annoyed that the nobles keep taking up all of princess Celestia's time filly Twilight vents the only way she knows how. By writing an essay! However she wrote this essay on the blank bottom of the scroll containing the speech Princess Celestia was to read to her little ponies. And once the speech ends, Celestia doesn't stop. Much to the horror of some of the nobles in the crowd.

Proof read by Cobalt Comet

Edited by Dark Chocolate

This story now has a Youtube reading.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 193 )

Well, he's screwed

Oh, this is brilliant. XD

Lol loved it hope to read a sequel one where Celestia deals with the nobles that Twilight talked about as well as Celestia talking to Twilight about her paper.

7416407

It'd be interesting to see what kinds of poetic justice Celestia would dish out. Perhaps it wouldn't have the brutal efficiency of say Tywin Lannister but Celestia can generally get the job done.

This story is rich with comedy gold

This was fantastic. :rainbowlaugh:

This is one of those fics you shouldn't be laughing to late in the night.

:twilightoops: Twilight is watching you.:pinkiecrazy:

This is amazing XD
At least Celestia doesn't have to chase that Goose any more.

Oh deary me. Looks like there's going to be A Bit Of A Clearout in the ol' palace there,..

Twilight Sparkle, fighting corruption since [childhood]...

This is a Twilight is best pony moment. taking down nobles from early childhood.

Oh man, I wish I had thought of this. If Twilight had written a report like this when she was a teenager, she would have started a revolution!

The sad part is that only Tight Schedule remained. If all the offending ponies had been caught so Celestia could issue some major corrective justice. I do feel sorry for Twilight's parents though, this will be an interesting meeting with Celestia.

I've wondered what was in that essay of Twiley's

Heh. This is a great story. definitely in the top twenty. Possibly top ten.

I have to admit this IS a darn good short story. Too bad only one of the offending nobles will be getting immediate punishment, but the humor WAS quite well done.

She'll also need to remember to have all of her sheets and blankets burned and to order new ones. Scratch that. She needed her entire bed burned and replaced after this.

And even that might not be good enough. :ajsmug: :rainbowlaugh:

Like some times when the princess is away he will go into her room and try on her jewelry and makeup.

The poor guy. I hope he won't get punished too badly. He just wanted to feel pretty!~

As such I can say with absolute certainty that there is no boop button!

:rainbowlaugh:

Why did Clause Trap run off? She should be proud of the boop button.

7417722 You're assuming she stuck around to find out what was written about her once she heard her name.:pinkiehappy:

stupid canterlot ponies!:flutterrage:
there's nothing noble about them!:facehoof:
woot!:trollestia:

I found the perfect punishment for Two Timer. Sick Sirocko on him.

The nobility is really in big trouble now and the best way thing to do next would be to publish this essay in an important newspaper which would reveal their corruption to all of Eqeustria.

That is how government reform happens :pinkiehappy:

"Come now princess the clock is ticking! We must hurry!" Tight Schedule reminded as she led princess Celestia out.

That is where Twilight knows this statement!

And Two Timer must have balls as big as coconuts (at least!).
I mean taking (serveral) fillies to Celestia's bed...

Very importand lesson to all evil beings:
There is nothing more dangerous than an honest child.


Nice story!

But I have one question: What do you mean with "take the princess to chase a wild goose"? Do you mean a literal goose or is there something else?



Edit: fixed.

Yeah, that's the reason Celestia is one of my favorite characters. She's not my favorite Princess (Lunar Republic forever) but she deserves so much better than the hand she's dealt by the fans.

This is gold, PURE GOLD I SAY!!! :pinkiecrazy:

Okay, this was cute:heart:

Very funny.

7417835 This had me laughing just as hard as the story itself! I knew this was going to be a great story!

-BFBL

7417749 You should make a sequel to this, PS I assume Clause is the only one who kept her job.

This was a good read. I like that there was a variety of characters, from bad, to weird, to normal.
Also
7418349
Captain Froo Froo did literally NOTHING wrong.

I really don't know what else you can expect from a pony literally named Two Timer. At least it makes things easy!

7418426

Theft is theft...

I somehow don't think that the used make-up can be returned.

--Spade

7417989 Oh thank you. Fixed. As for your question have you ever heard of a wild goose chase? They make good distractions.

"I suspected Sir Money Grubber of embezzling funds, but then I realized that's impossible. No pony would be so stupid as to skim the treasury by underreporting and hoping no one noticed, they'd write in some made-up expense like "Consulting fees" then reroute the money through a complex series of shell companies and banks in the Caymare Islands."

Princess Celestia paused. "On reflection, I probably shouldn't have read that part out loud."

Smiling Celestia looked down at her scroll and was about to roll it up when the color purple caught her eye. Once she saw what was written there she smiled widely.

Oh, this is going to be good.

After Celestia read that part out loud Tight Schedule who had been trying to sneak away suddenly found her hooves held to the floor by a golden glow. She could do nothing but sweat nervously as Celestia continued.

Oh, don't you know? There is no escape.:pinkiecrazy:

"But let's not use too much paper on just her. There are still others that I can add to this too. Like sir Money Grubber the pony in charge of the treasury. Now you would think that when a noble would get a job counting bits he would be able to do basic math. But no. I don't know where he is going wrong but every time he writes down less than what comes in. What's more confusing is nopony else noticed all of the extra bits that must have piled up in the treasury by now. And when you try to correct his work he gets really mad and chases you away."

Okay, sir Money Grubber you have absolutely no one to blame but yourself. The princess's personal student had figured out what you were doing albeit in an innocent and naive manner. You had to know this would come back to bite you in the ass.

Like some times when the princess is away he will go into her room and try on her jewelry and makeup

Captain Froo Froo, I don't really have much to say here except that you really should reexamine yourself and get your own jewelry and makeup. I don't judge, but it is more polite and much less creepy to do this with your own stuff.

Skimming down through the words written down on this paper Celestia started to turn green with each passing second until finally, ten Paragraphs later, she came to the end of what will be an extremely awkward topic of discussion with Twilight's parents when they find out about this.

Two Timer, I have two things to say to you. One, this will not end well for you-either you're going to end up with foals, angry and possibly psychotic girlfriends, or more likely, both. Two, get your own damn place-it's just not classy to use a princess's bed.

"Speaking of needing help with homework that brings us to lady Clause Trap who needs to work on her basic biology. Because every time I met her she pokes me in the nose insisting that she's pushing my boop button.. I can even see her mouth moving when she makes the booping sound she's not fooling anypony. She should just admit that she was wrong already.".

This is where you are wrong, Ms. Sparkle. Everypony has a boop button-you just have not attained the secrets to pressing it.

Well, that was certainly fun. Celestia was mischievous and fun as usual while also screwing over others who weren't doing anything good, and young Twilight was absolutely adorable, essay and all. And, frankly her description of the the "stinky" nobles was just hands down hilarious.

This was hilarious.

That was pretty good. I liked it.

Oh, I knew this was pure gold by the title alone.:rainbowlaugh:

Uh... not to be rude, but you really need to look into getting an editor.

For starters, there are no where near enough commas to break up sentences. Not counting the title, I can count the number of commas used on one hand. Some examples of where commas should be for instance include here:

Oh! Careful, Twilight."

here...

Scrunching up her nose in anger, Twilight was about ready to throw a temper tantrum

... and here.

"I'm sorry, Twilight. I didn't mean to lose track of time, but I need to finish preparing for the speech I'm giving today," Celestia apologized.

Other issues include:

princess Celestia's room

Again, there's more than one instance of this, but "Princess" needs to capitalized as it's referring to Celestia's title.

a large roll of parchment on the princesses desk

This is the plural of princess. What you're looking for is the possessive, which is "princess's"

As the crowd cheered loudly for the greatest hero Equestria has produced in two hundred years, at least until Twilight grows up and saves her sister.

This sentence doesn't scan for multiple reasons. First off, the "at least until Twilight grows up" part makes no sense in the context of the paragraph. Even if it did, the sentence would make more sense if you connected it to following line where Celestia begins rolling up her scroll, such as, "As the crowd cheered loudly for the greatest hero Equestria had produced in the last two hundred years, Celestia looked down at her scroll..."

ten Paragraphs later,

Why is paragraphs capitalized?

There is also captain Froo Froo of the royal guard.

Again, titles like Captain and Lord need to be capitalized

In all fairness who would not do what claus trop did in their position. I mean come on that's gold :rainbowlaugh:

7418440
Hmm hard to say really yes it can be considered theft but considering the ponies' forgiving nature I would suspect he may keep his job. But I doubt celestia was going to let him off that easy. Probably, put on every shit detail she can think of and had few words about privacy. but other than that meh... Celestia get a lock.

Didn't read but I gotta post this:

7417989 When she says "Wild Goose" She's referring to a Snipe, in actuality.

7416396
Fun! This Reminds me very much of Brief Reign, with a slightly younger Twilight. In my head this will be Brief Reign's unofficial prequel.

7418698 Thank you. Just went over it and made some fixes.

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