"I still can't see it."
"See what?"
"You as Celestia, I mean, how could you be Celestia?"
"Would you like me to transform back?"
"Oh come on, you know what I mean."
"Scootaloo, I like to relax and play practical jokes on others. I just do what I do because I happened to be the most responsible and concerned pony in the room at the time."
"So you're the princess because nopony else is the princess?"
"Yes."
"I can't really see that."
"So, you wake up one morning."
"Okay."
"Everything's good, everything's fine, you go out and you grab the newspaper."
"I don't read the newspaper, but alright."
"Turns out they discontinued the color brown."
"...What?"
"Color brown, no longer using it. No longer allowed."
"So uh, what about naturally brown stuff?"
"Comes out in shades of gray."
"You know, I could totally see all the rich snobby Canterlot ponies spending a million bits over authentic brown poop. I can see it now, brown wrapper that was thrown off the side of a ship found at the bottom of the sea, they spend a million bits to try and recover it..."
"Dirt stains on clothing is only worn by the highest social class."
"You just want an excuse to look dirty all the time don't you?"
"Worms are hunted to extinction because they eat brown dirt and poop out gray dirt. Farms are destroyed and the planet is ruined because everypony is hording dirt."
"I don't think anypony is that crazy."
"Turns out an undiscovered pony civilization used brown paint for rituals and ceremonies. They're completely killed off out of frustration by the rest of the world."
"What does this have to do with you being Celestia again?"
"Okay, so new scenario."
Sigh
"You wake up, and everypony in Ponyville is like a balloon, where they float off into the air and eventually pop."
"What."
"They float off really slowly, so you could go around town pulling them back down all day if you want. Do you?"
"Well, yeah."
"You wake up the next morning and it's the exact same thing, all slowly floating off, what do you do?"
"Nopony, this is stupid."
"You wake up the next morning and Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are dead."
...
"Back then, the tribes were united but not at peace with each other. They squabbled over the silliest things. I had a way with words though, and I could usually stop anypony from doing something rash. But it was something I had to do everything single day. One day I grew tired of it and said they could work out their own issues. The next day a lot of ponies I knew since they were born were dead."
...
"What did you do?"
"Helped them out until I was too frustrated, and woke up the day after to a lot of dead ponies, again."
...
"Eventually, things calmed down enough that I could go off and have time to myself without everything falling apart."
"What happened then?"
"Discord discontinued the color brown."
...
"I'm sorry."
"Don't sweat it kid, I'm fine."
"...So, I can see why you were the way you were back then, but why are you doing all of... 'this' now?"
"Oh, that's easy. With the addition of a certain purple alicorn, I'm not the most responsible, concerned pony in the room anymore, am I?"
No, not the color brown!
7245420
You're supposed to link this video.
Now if only she could go back and undo that part where she peed all over Twilight's books just to piss her off I might actually believe that. I'm still at a loss for why people think that was funny.
But other than that I really liked this one. Gave me all sorts of feels. I approve.
This makes an absurd amount of sense
Kudos for keeping this going!
So basically Twilight has inherited the shittiest job ever?
If they made something like that cannon in the show, I might actually be forced to take back all of the jokes that I made to my friends about Celestia being useless.
That last line was totally amazing
Good work as always
7245492
She was trolling Twilight in such a way that she could help a very sick Scootaloo without revealing herself or Scootaloo's living situation. I would love to see the conversation about why Scootaloo has not told her friends that she is homeless. At least Applejack would give her a roof over her head, 3 good meals a day, a warm bed, and plenty of love. Hopefully we will see in a future chapter!
This reminds me of Lewis Carroll. It all seems non sensical but is put into light once it's all read.
HEHE Its so true Twilight is the most uptight person in the royal tree.
7245973 Yes, exactly!
Pass it all over to Twilight! Let her rule Equestria for a while!
7245612 Not so shitty for a perfectionist eager to please her
lord and mastermentor.7245753
I'm ok with him messing with Twilight, but practical jokes that destroy something important to the person you're "pranking" aren't funny. He could have just as easily gone two doors down and used the kitchen. Or gotten Spike to do it for him. Or a whole bunch of other things that would have still been funny and not made him a complete jackass in the process.
7246535
Thank you for liking this story so much, or else you wouldn't care so much about the logic behind it. Especially since it's primarily about two idiots sitting in a box. It is, unironically, touching to see how much people have grown to take this story seriously.
If it gives you any peace in your heart, those books were not sentimental in the sense she had them since her childhood or anything, Celestia was aware of that, and Twilight has way more than enough bits to get new books without it giving her any grief. She likes those books, but she wasn't planning on reading them anytime soon, although there was no way Celestia could've known that without spying on her or something. Take that as you will.
If that doesn't console you, well, try not to worry about it.
THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE!
...was this a history session or another joke? Hail Twilight, lol.
7246817
He was grabbing a sexual organ, but using in a nonsexual manner for a brief moment with the intent of humor. Not E-rated, not M-rated, T-rated.
7247978
Yes.
That was surprisingly hard-hitting, despite the fact that I saw it coming.
7245490 I don't remember that being a thing. When did Rarity show any enthusiasm for explosions?
*Double facepalm* Ye gods and little fishes, I know exactly how Celestia feels. EXACTLY.
This is the role I tend to play in my social circle and for the exact same reason, 90% of the time I'm the most responsible and concerned person in the room.
And just like Celestia, I don't want to be the responsible one but everything starts falling apart to an unacceptable degree if I don't put in at least a minimal effort at propping things up.
7255089 All the power to you I guess.
7255102 I am the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the vanilla and the chocolate... with whipped cream and nuts.
7256276 Alondro... how many hours a day do you spend reading and commenting on this website? I would say I've seen your comments on at least 60-70% of things I read...
7256289 A few every other day.
I read very very VERY fast. I used to be a database production analyst and editor for a biomedical informatics company.
I was the fastest of all time! (That's what she said!) HEY!! Shut up self-narrator!
7256295 Fair enough. You even responded in record time. Praise be Alondro, lord of the readings and timely consumption of fanfiction.
7256295
7256324
Hey, wouldn't be FIM if we didn't have Alondro leaving a charmingly silly comment here and there.
7256324 I write, however, at a snail's pace... mainly due to my mind being able to see EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE PATH my story could take... and then there's word choice, tonal structure and pacing... its like staring randomly at a road map where each path to your destination is potentially fascinating but you can only choose one.
7257491
I find using parentheticals and footnotes a reasonable way to create a few forks in such things. Not perfect, but short of creating spider diagrams in a drawing program and posting that it is the best you are going to get...
Actually, now that I think of it Outline format might be another option that might work for one or both of us.
7263761 I do outline the basic plan... but then it starts getting more complex as I'm writing it and realize I need to add details here and there to flesh out certain portions, alter dialog from what I'd initially intended.
Word choice is also tricky for me since I have a terrible time recalling the exact words that best fit the tone and intent of what I'm attempting to portray. Without that one word, it just doesn't fit together correctly, or I can't make the rest of the phraseology work.
7264260
Sorry, I had a derp and thought you were having problems!ms writing feedback poasts for some reason.
7265014 Oh no, random feedback insanity is easy!
mkay
7268746 Same thing different names... It does sound more fancy.
And that's the real reason why she turned Twilight into an alicorn
This is gold.
It is free trade, free range, and organic!
7245612
The job, to be sure, does come with a large measure of effluent impacting the rotary cooling device, but just think: once Discord and Celestia discontinue the colour brown (again), she will be the most powerful and influential pony in Equestria!
7303529
No, brown
Pure unfiltered genius this is, I love it!
no one likes Twilight
7245614
Funny you should mention that...
You could have just ended the chapter right there and it would have been just as hilarious.
The sentence we didn't know we needed.
r/brandnewsentence