Home is for the Weak

by Pickleless

Happy Birthday!

Author's Note:

This takes place after Scootaloo gets a home.

Scootaloo threw open the closet doors that connected her house to Celestia's room in her castle.

"Happy Birthday Tia!" She cheered, holding out a present box.

Celestia was laying on her bed, making out with a cake carefully baked, frosted, and shaped like Nopony Special. Moaning, she bit off the front half of his face before noticing Scootaloo.

"Wow." Scootaloo dropped the present. "I mean... wow."

Celestia slowly pulled her blanket over Cakepony Special

"So my first question isn't 'what is this?' I mean, I'm not even all that surprised." Scootaloo continued. "But uh... why the male version of yourself?"

"I like to make a different cake each year." Celestia said stoically.

"So you make out with a different cake version of a pony each year?"

Celestia started to sweat.

"How many times have you done this?" Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

...

"What's in the present box?" Celestia asked.

"Oh yeah!" Scootaloo picked up the box. "Here!"

Celestia unwrapped the box to find a picture of herself and Scootaloo posing together.

"Awwwwww~" Celestia smiled. "I don't remember taking this picture."

"You were really drunk!"

"Oh, that explains why I look like a complete vegetable." Celestia set the picture on top of her dresser.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Celestia kissed Scootaloo's forehead.

Scootaloo giggled and wiped the frosting off her forehead. "That's all I came by to do, see you later tonight!" She turned around and started trotting back through the closet.

"Thank you, good bye!" Celestia smiled and waved as she left.

...

"Now..." Celestia Pulled the blanket off Cakepony. "Are you devil's food cake? Because I'm feeling an unholy temptation..."

Comments

[VanillaWaffle]

dear god that last line

[Lazauya]

Wow! How did you almost know it was my birthday?! Just 1 month and 10 days away! And let's be honest, on a cosmic scale, that's nothing! So thank you so much!

[Scorch215]

That last line was both disturbing and hilarious at the same time and I'm not sure if I should be horrified or laughing.

I think I'll go back away slowly while laughing that way both emotions get attention at the same time.

[BlakeCorman]

Um... yeah...okay...
media.giphy.com/media/12pFgdUj0KLiU0/giphy.gif

[Ultimate Bromaeda]

Why are cake sculptures not a thing yet, especially of this variation.
Scootaloo next year, chicken flavour.

[Captawesome]

I'm using that as a pickup line tomorrow at work

[re- Yamsmos]

Pants are down let's roll.

[Kryssi]

7428974 Holy turd, it was posted on my birthday as well!

Erm… give or take four months…

[Hungryman]

Cake-sexual...

[Kichi]

Uh, I was thinking for a moment that Luna was going to help Scootaloo for Celestia birthday.

[Flisky]

7428974
7429255
9 days. Suck it.
And by 'it,' I mean these complimentary celebratory ice-creams

[Kryssi]

7429346 Let me guess: it comes with frogurt?

[cogwheelbrain]

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3845_small.png

[NorrisThePony]

derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/4/5/1125624.gif

... Oooooooh kay then, Celestia....

[Flisky]

7429365
Uh. Sure, I guess.

[Telaros]

This was a perfectly normal Birthday for Celestia. Perfectly, perfectly, normal.

I think it's possible but I might be biased towards Celestia being care taker/mom stories. Though admittedly I've only ever read one but the author retired that story. Shame, in a way this Scootaloo reminds me a lot of that Scootaloo. Wow, I totally forgot what the name was!
(EDIT: Found it! Scootamom)

Cute short. By the way, is that closet a potal between her home in Ponyville or does Scoots just live in the closest now? XD

[badninja]

At least Scootaloo knew not to ask to many questions and just back away.

[Georg]

Ah, the difference between "(Censored) Crazy" and "Delightfully Eccentric" is the ability to raise the sun. A faint but vital shading of the lines between the sane and the insane. Good to know.

[HiddenMaster]

I'm...I'm not even surprised.

At least Scootaloo knew not to question too much, lest she descend into madness like so many before her.

[Seether00]

I'm not surprised in the least.

[Scorch215]

7429527

Cute short. By the way, is that closet a potal between her home in Ponyville or does Scoots just live in the closest now? XD

The story stated back at the ending THST the door to the master bedroom in the house back on Ponyville links to Celestia's closet in the castle and that scootaloo should not prank her during court hours and apparently should also knock else she see something rather bizarre that is best not questioned for very long.

[Neece]

7429681 and this delightfully demonstrates how the chicken doesn't give a flying . Wonderful, simply wonderful

[mastermenthe]

Now to wait for Megapone to do a food fetish fic starring Celestia and Cake.

[Scolipede]

Welp, 2 days late for my 21st birthday, but thanks anyway!

[NeuroticScientist]

"Now..." Celestia Pulled the blanket off Cakepony. "Are you devil's food cake? Because I'm feeling an unholy temptation..."

If someone tried that pick up line on me, it just might work.

[Jake Witt]

7429961 Chickens can't fly. They can hover, be near, then run away, and fall without grace.

[King of Kings]

7428974
Well mine's 3 days away! And I was hoping for it to be a cream cake! Now, the secret here is to not ask what type of cream it is...

[Bloody_Tofu]

"Now..." Celestia Pulled the blanket off Cakepony. "Are you devil's food cake? Because I'm feeling an unholy temptation..."

Um...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FjWe31S_0g

[Pickleless]

7429074
7429464
7431535
Legitimately curious if this was the straw that broken the camel's back.

[Bloody_Tofu]

7431721 ohhh nonono. Not leaving the story... Which is still marked complete.

Walking away from that comment. I have a very good imagination and gahh.

Cakelestia and Molestia combine to form Voltron... Er.. Anyways needless to say that chapter was kinda cringe inducing.

[BlakeCorman]

7431721
I wouldn't say the camel is broken yet, but he is certainly stumbling quite a bit... but I'm still going to sit here with my popcorn and soda and wait for more.

[keaton-furman-prower]

This story has crossed the line so many times I've lost count, but this one might just top them all

...Now I'm wondering how much farther we can go...

[Aguion12 - GotA]

...My english fails me now, so I can only describe this in my native language.

Puta que me pariu, Celestia...

[antomarsi]

7432047
In portuguese is "God dammit, Celestia"

Who knows meet another brazillian here!

[NorrisThePony]

7431721 Oh fuck no. Quite the opposite.

I'm here till the fat lady sings yo.

[Pony on Wheels]

7431721
I think Scootaloo sums it up best.
"Wow. I mean... wow.
I mean, I'm not even all that surprised."
*finish chapter*
"That's all I came by to do, see you later tonight!"

[Kirbs]

Making out with cakes in bed is filthy! At least do it in the shower or something.

(That joke got away from me)

[Bipper]

that's the closest face they have to horror. I mean. That last line though

[Bipper]

7432706 great now pickles is going to make Celestia sing yo in the next chapter. Just watch and when this happens I will laugh very hard.

[Iron Comet]

Scootaloo will eventually be scarred for life. But not as scarred as the Royal Baker who bakes the cakes.

[MidnightFMare]

7431752 Past Luna's moon and Twilight's incompetence

[Haysit T Ganaram]

7449965
Maybe she gets a new one each year.

[randome284]

And this is why this is one of my favorite stories.

[Neoarcad]

Please don't ever stop writing these.

[Dustchu]

I just have no words for stuff like this, it's just too good!

[AMuffinlover]

wait, so she's eating herself.. ew

[Thatguywiththeface]

24.media.tumblr.com/42cba8c05575b36b1200e1d7503e8b4a/tumblr_meq6reZnez1r19504o1_400.gif

[DNC]

[Gizmo Gear]

"Now..." Celestia Pulled the blanket off Cakepony. "Are you devil's food cake? Because I'm feeling an unholy temptation..."

[Gizmo Gear]

7469526
*dies*