"I thought tentacles were suppose to be slimy and inappropriate for children!" Scootaloo screamed.
"Well it's still inappropriate for kids. After all, it is murdering you." Nopony shrugged
"Why aren't you helping me?!"
"So first off, we really need to have a talk about this helping thing sometime." Nopony scolded.
"Nopony." Scootaloo growled.
A large, usually homeless pegasus stallion casually pushed away the floating skull over his head and examined the unholy light coming from the center of the beast. He frowned, this wasn't any of his favorite elder gods. Nopony couldn't accept getting killed by some random ancient being he knows nothing about, that's boring, and lame. He watched Scootaloo give him the stink eye as she slightly tilted her head left to avoid a tentacle with a giant spike on the end of it, trying to impale her.
Nopony was a very tall stallion with white fur stained slightly brown due to rolling around in Twilight's Sparkle's front yard. His mane was pale heliotrope in color-
"THAT'S NOT A REAL COLOR YOU IDIOT! ALSO STOP MONOL- AH! " Scootaloo screamed as she slid down a crumbling wall, avoiding death.
"It's totally a real col-"
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
"It's a real-
"WHAT?"
"-TELGIP ELCISPOP ELTTIL EGNARO UOY LLITS DNATS HSOG YM HO ,SELCATNET HTIW SUTCAC DEROVALF DIALOOK DER TNAIG A EB OT EVAH TRESNI FLES YM DID YHW-"
"WHAT?" Scootaloo parroted herself.
"He called you a Popsicle."
"WHAT?"
"I said-"
"NO I HEARD YOU THAT TIME, WHAT THE HE-"
Nopony watched as the ceiling collapsed on Scootaloo.
"Thank the maker." Nopony grunted.
Nopony was known as the local bum avoided by most of Ponyville, Princess Twilight's most hated citizen, Scootaloo's weird not Dad, goddess of the sun, beloved by all of Equestria, Princess Twilight's beloved teacher, and Scootaloo's weird not Mom.
Most importantly, s/he's Scootaloo's friend.
Celestia, or rather, Nopony sighed and starting jumping over pits of lava he wasn't aware of until now.
Then he remembered he had wings.
Nopony flew over to where Scootaloo was and casually tossed a couple chunks of roof towards the monster. Under the chunks was Scootaloo hiding in a narrow niche.
"Hey Scootaloo."
"Finally, let's-"
"Hey Scootaloo."
"What?"
"Hey Scootaloo."
"...What."
"Guess how I saved you?"
"Ugh." Scootaloo rolled her eyes as she did a short hop in the air, dodging the sweeping tentacle.
"I flew over here, with my wings. You know, the thing that-"
A giant tentacle slammed Nopony into the ground, making an indent.
"Thank you." Scootaloo monotoned.
".TI NOITNEM T'NOD"
"Enough messing around, let's go!" Scootaloo poked Nopony.
No response.
"Nopony?" Scootaloo frowned, and dodged a ghost.
Nopony peed himself.
"Welp." Scootaloo stared at the majestic royal princess in defeat.
Scootaloo was a small orange avian with a purple something mane. She had two flaps on her back, and-
"Are you doing a monologue on being a chicken?" Nopony asked.
"What? No, I'm... doing a monologue." Scootaloo blinked. "Also, how are you okay?"
"What?" Nopony raised an eyebrow.
"Weren't you just..."
Scootaloo looked down to see Nopony knocked out on the ground, and Nopony- er, no-pony next to her.
"Uhh." Scootaloo frowned.
".EMIT SIHT EM T'NSAW TAHT"
"Oh right! Elder god, going crazy." Scootaloo sighed in relief.
".EREH TSENOH GNIEB"
Scootaloo grabbed the sensitive part of Nopony's wings and roughly dragged him in the opposite direction of the eldritch abomination.
"Don't worry Nopony, I'll get us to safe-"
A tentacle slapped Nopony across the room and into a wall.
Scootaloo facehoofed.
"SERIOUSLY, WE ARE IN THE BASEMENT OF MY HOUSE, WHY HASN'T ANYPONY HEARD THIS YET?!" Scootaloo screamed upwards.
"I don't know what the heck to do." Sweetie Belle shrugged.
Scootaloo looked up at the entrance to her basement. "What the- how long have you been there!?"
"The past two hours." Sweetie Belle calmly replied.
Scootaloo sighed, looked like she had to do this herself.
She was known as the local bum avoided by most of Ponyville, The first kid in class to always start making trouble, too stubborn and prideful to live with any of her friends, plucky child that wanders Canterlot Castle, The first kid in class to always end trouble when she sees it, and was forced into living in a house by the princess. At least, that's the story she tells others.
More important than all that, she's Nopony's friend.
Launching into the air, Scootaloo swung across a ceiling beam and did a perfect flip before getting knocked into a wall.
"If it makes you feel any better, you looked really cool for like two seconds." Sweetie Belle commented.
Scootaloo flinched as a tentacle was about to crush her, before a bright light shot the beast from below, rocketing out of the basement into the Ponyville streets.
"I don't think we'll set up decorations this year." Celestia sniffed, then transformed back into Nopony.
"Yeeeeah, I don't feel like getting candy anymore." Scootaloo grunted as she forced herself off the ground. "Besides, sounds like the town's a bit busy at the moment."
"AUUUUUUUUUGH!!!"
"!AMITLU 'NITSAC M'I AMITLOWS YTIGGIWS"
"Wanna just stay inside and tell scary stories?" Nopony asked.
"Okay!" Scootaloo jumped onto his back.
"NOT THE HOSPITAL!"
Nopony paused.
"...Probably two sides to this story." And trotted upstairs.
Swiggity Swoltima, I'm Castin' Ultima.... you win the internet.
The two former homeless terrors of Ponyville are just crazy, summoning an eldric horror for fun? We need Twilight stat.
So real talk, I was gonna make this a one-shot all on it's own, which is why it describes who Nopony is to some degree (more than I would ever care to in this story,) but it came out so late in the day I figured it'd be best to just put it where people could easily find it.
7686878
-HHHHHHHHHA
AMITLU 'NITSAC M'I AMITLOWS YTIGGIWS
Swiggity swoltima I'm castin ultima
God that one was hard to figure out without typing it out.
You misspelled "SELCATENT".
Ahhh, I'm so glad that this is yet another update that put this in the Feature Box.
Glorious.
This story always makes me smile.
I do not care wat anyone says that last line is Swiggity Swooty I'm Coming For the booty
SELCATENT
should be SELCATNET
- from one terrible eldritch beast to another ;)
7687316
Actually it was "Swiggity swultima, I'm casting Ultima"
Ah glad to see an update to this as I have missed the insanity.
Good work as always Pickless.
A... kool-aid flavored red cactus with... tentacles? Am I reading that right? That's weird... fortunately, I like weird.
Damn the like button and its one time use rule...
*gets out his takoyaki grill* Tonight we feast!
¡uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ǝʇᴉɹʍ spoƃ ɹǝʇno
˙ʎɐld s,lɐoɟ sᴉ ʇxǝʇ spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ɹᴉǝɥʇ puɐ spoƃ ɹǝplǝ ¡ɹnǝʇɐɯɐ
(try copying and pasting the text in the quote)
7687692 .... swiggity swooty I'm coming for the booty
He watched Scootaloo gave him the stink eye
.eye knits eht mih evig ooltaoocS dehctaw eH
P. sure that should be SELCATNET
7687012
7687387
7697725
Now you see, if I goof typing it up once, oh well.
Twice, that's stupid but hey.
Three times now.
Please just let me type tentacles backwards correctly.
Help I’m tired
7694286 Cute profile pic.
I don't get what happened in the end. Did they... just sat down their with a monster and started telling scary stories?
7700873 Nope! They stayed at home while their monster cast FRIGGIN' ULTIMA on the entirety of Ponyville. If I remember that right, it's the most powerful spell in Final Fantasy or the best weapon in Kingdom Hearts.
7700259 It's a typo, the bottom line is the same line written in reverse without the typo.
I like your name, Flufflepuff would approve.
7704777 Yeah, I got the secret messages, but I was commenting on the chapter in general.
mhm
I love seeing new chapters randomly pop up ; w ; It makes me so happy ; w ;
7707735 .noitasrevnoc eht no yrrac dluoc I tbuod I .tseb ym saw siht tub eunitnoc dluow I ,seigolopa yM
Few words I couldn't get, but still got the gist of it. Still a fun story to read
7707735 mp a ot siht evom ew dluohs tub egnellahc tpecca I
s24.postimg.org/nalvejzn9/IMG_3106.png
DONT THINK I DIDNT FUCKIN SEE THAT
7819988
Hey~ My phone is almost dead too!
Oooohohoho, clever clever... good shit this was :D
what teh hell was sweetiebell doing there
*dies harder*
"Twilight will take care of it."