• Member Since 19th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 22 minutes ago


A Pole by birth, a Lawgiver by trade and a Trickster by choice. Altogether a most friendly, sociopathic madman. At your service...


  • EStand and Deliver
    When plotting revenge, it is good to find yourself a willing and useful accomplice among your enemies. And Queen Chrysalis is... lucky to meet a professional...?
    Gulheru · 9.6k words  ·  354  5 · 4.2k views

Princess Cadance, just like everypony else, needs some time of leisure from her many duties. While Shining Armor is taking care of their daughter, Cadance enjoys her lone trips to the nearby Nephrite Forest, where she can be away from all of her burdens and obligations for at least a short while.

She was simply destined to get mugged eventually, wasn’t she? Why not by somepony who takes his job very seriously.

Also available in Mandarin Chinese (translation by keplebletbett) and Spanish (translation by SPANIARD KIWI).

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 328 )

A professional through and through. Fantastic. :-)


Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

This makes the second top-notch read of my day. Well done, Gulheru.


I'll take that gladly! Thank you!

this was a really funny read, Good job Gulheru

My my. I love this. And I like Basis's character alot. The ending was a pleasant surprise!


Thank you, I'm glad to deliver.


Just a small idea that was growing in my brain for a while. That, thanks to a little, kind push, saw completion. :twilightsmile:

7506129 I have to question your definition of Kind lol


Oh, come now, you know it well. :raritywink:

That ending do great jobb *klapp klapp* :pinkiehappy:


I'm very happy you liked it! :twilightsmile:

Perhaps, for once, i'm at a loss for words at an original character:rainbowlaugh:


I'll take that praise gladly, thank you! :twilightsmile:

This is what happens when unemployed lawyers cannot find jobs running for public office. A terrible fate indeed, and the Equestrian Revenue Service is glad to find a place where their talents can be put to best use.

Well, he ended in a better situation than Dick Turpin, I suppose...

Excellent story! Here's to good mannered highway ponies everywhere! Pip pip! :3

It's just like a British bandit.
Of course i mean after they sent anyone who could do a right brutal stand and deliver to Australia.

That was hilarious. True to form and the show, definitely. Bravo good sir, bravo :twilightsmile:


The story is inspired by life itself, trust me. :twilightsmile:


Why, thank you, ol' chap! Cheerio!


An Australian bandit will be in another story of mine one day, worry not. :rainbowlaugh:


Thank you very, very much! :twilightsmile:

Well done, Legal Basis really comes off as a well spoken and stately robber.
10/10 maximum points for clarity


Very generous of you! Thank you kindly. :twilightsmile:

In the distant chamber of the Crystal Treasury, yet another shaking petitioner was sitting, dreading what was about to happen.Legal Basis was sitting on the other side of the desk, a warm, satisfied smile on his muzzle, ready to turn to the necessary formula.“Your money or your life.”



Appropriate, if you ask me... :twilightsmile:

That was silly. You're silly. Well done.


My profession gets silly like this somehow, it's not my fault! :pinkiehappy:

Not bad. It kept me pleasantly occupied for a while. Good job introducing variety to your repertoire.


Glad you enjoyed it, friend!

Okay, I expected Cadance hiring him to many positions where he could report any inconsistencies and call for inspections, but definitely a tax collector.
This was great :rainbowlaugh:


Why, thanks. It's just... the similarities, man! :rainbowlaugh:

7507927 Indeed.
I think we all would benefit when the rich (especially those who sneakily avoid paying taxes) get a tax collector who says those few words :rainbowlaugh:

A totally and wholly delightful read. The characterizations are spot on, both canon Cadence—in regards to how I can absolutely see and hear her acting the way she acts here—and OC Legal Basis—in regards to how I immediately get a feel for his character that remains true throughout.

Love the dialogue. Love the action that takes place around the dialogue to keep the whole feel of the situation wonderfully lighthearted, such as Basis making her tea while simultaneously explaining why he's going to rob her. There are so many delicious quotes that I could pull out that made me giggle, but I want them to be read within the story first, not by a cursory glance through the comments section that spoils the fun.

Super duper job well done.


I am... humbled to receive such praise. I truly am. And from a writer I respect so much. I am overjoyed you considered the tale delightful.

Thank you. :twilightsmile:

This was simply fantastic. :twilightsmile:


Thank you very much!

This is the most riveting autobiography I've ever read!

This is autobiographical, right? I mean, this is how ypu got your current job, isn't it? Attempting to rob a princess in the woods? I can put that on your application to the League of Ultimately Minor Personages?


League of Ultimately Minor Personages? Please, friend, do not be ridiculous! I am a Honorary Member of the Memorable Villains and Antagonists Society!

Well, that may be, but surely the two aren't mutually exclusive!

And even if they are, what's so great about MVAS? Wouldn't you rather be a LUMP?


I'll pass, thank you.

Drat. Well, if you change your mind, we meet at this pub down the way every other Tuesday. It's called On a Log, it's hard to miss.

Now if you'll excuse me, you have a library I need to sort through....


Take your time and suit yourself.

7507516 remember the proper term for a Aussie bandit is Bushranger.


Not... exactly who I have in mind, but I will remember. :twilightsmile:

I came here 'cause of the book club mob mentality and stayed in the hope that I too would receive a free car.

The question is, would he remain so polite while beating your money out of you? Apologize for breaking a leg, extemporate on the necessity of bashing a face, and then send a pre-arranged dragonfire message to the local hospital while stretching your unconscious self out so you wouldn't risk suffocation from dirt/blood inhalation?

Yeahhhhhhh... I'm thinking way too hard about this.


Not really. And your not so far from the truth, I think. :rainbowlaugh:

Ok, this is actually pretty funny. :rainbowlaugh:


I'm very glad you appreciated it! :twilightsmile:

7508748 Already added it to Favorites.

Excellent read, my friend. I daresay I learned something today.


Then I am twice overjoyed! :twilightsmile:

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