• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
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A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).


Princess Celestia writes a letter to her favorite student, highlighting the need for proper lab safety.

Apologies to Tired Old Man. Not connected in any way to his body of work-- I just went with the pun.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 53 )

though I do not believe your friend Rarity's suggestion for lead-lined undergarments will prove the fashion trend she thinks it will be.

I lost it.:rainbowlaugh:bwahhaaaahhhheeeeaahhhiiii!!!!:rainbowlaugh:

On a side note, I do not believe the title “Gargantulon” fits any current taxonomy, though I suppose that's just what happens when you let Rainbow Dash name things.

Oh, I don't know, it has a certain...flair to it.

Also, I hope neither Fluttershy nor Pinkie accompanied Twilight to Monster Island. God only knows what they would bring back. Possibly a very large, very angry relative of Gummy for starters?


Eh, kinda funny... but I can sadly see Twilight being this hideously irresponsible and careless in canon.



7474873 For the most part it looks like the results of a series of unfortunate events that she couldn't have predicted.


Dear Princess Celestia,

Gargantulon is quite happy on Monster Island, which thanks to its Everfree-like self-sustaining ecosystem, is putting up an admirable but futile struggle against my glorious creation

Dear Princess Celestia,

Gargantulon and Monster Island appear to agree with each other quite nicely. Given the half-life of his radioactive aura, it should be safe for pony visitation within the decade. On that note, I have a plan for the leavings, provided that my hypothesis about your connection to the Sun giving you immunity to any form of harmful radiation is correct. If not, I have several other plans, though none of them will be quite as enlightening fun expeditious.

Also, Rainbow Dash says that if we don't want her naming things, we should name them first.

Your fellow princess,
Twilight Sparkle

7475350 your comment deserves more likes.

:rainbowdetermined2: YOU KNOW YOU MUST TAKE THE CHALLENGE, TWILIGHT! DO EEEEET :pinkiecrazy:

Even when Gargantulon decided to use my palace as its nest, I took it all in stride. At least I didn't wind up cocooned in changeling slime this time around, which is always a plus...

P.S. Speaking of which, have you seen Luna since the attack?

* * *

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,
We are greatly impressed by thy giant mutated radioactive lepidopteran larvae, and the way in which it took over the Canterlot castle. Quite entertaining, and a wonderful show. We just have one request once you return from Monster Island, now that the immediate threat is over.

Please go to the southern wing of the castle, in the third room on the left down the Corridor of Annoying Violet Statues, where there are a number of cocoons hanging from the ceiling. If you could remove all of them to a place of safety in the northern wing of the castle, next to the Royal Baths, we would be most appreciative.

While you are working, be very careful of the Gargantulon droppings, as the radioactivity could be considered quite dangerous. Also, if you would expedite matters as much as possible, because the eggs in this room appear to be maturing at a fairly rapid rate too, and we are not certain what the Gargantulon young eat.
Your Friend,
Princess Luna

P.S. Spike, when you get this letter, please give it to Twilight Sparkle at once and have her read it. If so, I will ensure a bare minimum of at least a dozen rubies and emeralds will accidentally show up at your new home, regardless of the diet Twilight Sparkle has you on.

P.P.S. Twilight Sparkle, you are forbidden from reading the above P.S.

Why does this feel like it could fit in canon?

If the island is uninhabited, what will the creature eat? What do centipedes eat anyway? I suppose there could be plant life there. Of course the creatures radiation will probably kill it all, or mutate it as well. Pluss it will probably mutate any other insects that happen to be there... This is sounding more and more like a bad idea the more I think about it. Why didn't they just kill it?

I cesium what u238 did here. This was quite a reactive story. Isotope they do have a solution for the droppings. I erg you to remconsider centipedes, though. Millipedes are far less prone to con-fusion when accidentally mutated.


Centipedes are carnivores, and they'll eat whatever they can kill with their venom. Other bugs, bats, mice and rats, etc.

sealed off the south wing of the palace for safety’s sake, though the smell is more than enough to keep most ponies away.

Whelp... Everyone who got a nose full is dead. Smell is particles. Particles from a heap of organic waste are part of said organic waste. If the organic waste is as hot as corium, then it goes without saying that everyone just inhaled aerosol corium.


It's fantasy "dangerous" radiation. Which means it has mutagenic properties that are not only stable, but rapidly propagating, and often have bombastic effects, and it is generally much less harmful and more just inconvenient than RL dangerous radiation.

They'll probably just get super nose-hair powers.

The Rise of Gargantulon! Thrill at the Excitement! Scream In Sheer Terror!
Coming to the Ponyville Drive in next week!

and yea Haledrake is right, in a fantasy setting Radiation causes stable mutation not poisoning. And Bugs always turn giant and hostile for no reason.

Next you'll say they grow a blonde afro and act completely insane.

Perfect comedy story:) thanks

Plus self-amplifying. Consider that normally the entirety of radioactivity within the centipede is induced radioactivity plus possibly very minuscule amount of ingested radionuclides. Hardly a cause for concern unless you swallow the centipede. Maybe a gram of quite mildly radioactive matter. And suddenly it turns into enough irradiated matter to make a whole palace wing off-limits.

I mean, unless the apples filling that train car were thoroughly infused with radioactive materials.

I'm... not quite sure I understand the apology. Fans of mine have misread my story title as that on occasion long before this was written, so I don't get why I'd be upset over it.

In fact, the only thing that upsets me is that this is just one letter. With a title like that, I was expecting more! But as this stands, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. :pinkiehappy:

I just hope Gargantulon doesn't get any ideas about returning to the nest though. It'd be like watching a fuzzy, horrific train make a beeline for its 'home'.

wlam #23 · Aug 16th, 2016 · · 1 ·

Apologies to Tired Old Man. Not connected in any way to his body of work-- I just went with the pun.

And somehow, it's still funnier.

I now want to read the story that took place for this letter to be written.

7477999 That looks like it's from a game. Is it?


Sequel: Fluttershy Snuggles Godzilla.

Well, when you think about it would that sort of thing be more prevalent if there would be some pro-life benign harmonic field around the world? I know i know, but in magic pony world maybe extreme and 'cool' mutation WOULD be more likely than agonizing bleeding to death since, well magic of friendship.

7494000 Stabilizing magic perhaps? Since every creature there would have natural magic of it's own, however small, it could likely nip cancer in the bud in most cases, not to mention counter-act some of the negative effects of radiation, would be limited in power though.

I reviewed this story as part of Read It Now Reviews #91.

My review can be found here.

Here on account of TD, that was fun.

*goes to like*
*Sees zero dislikes*

7512774 *clicks like* *goes from 256 to 258* HE IZ WIZARD!!!:pinkiegasp:

Oh, and: displayed on front page thingamajig? On: August 28, 2016, 3 pm!!!!!


We really should stop letting Rainbow Dash name things.

:rainbowhuh:rainbow dash: wait what but why?
Princess Celestia : Because Rainbow you have gotten out of control with you're naming . And plus the last one didn't make sense.

I want to know the story of Twilight getting on Monster Island.

Was it just to transport the Kaiju? Or was she herself temporarily mutated as well?


Bumping this question.

>Giant caterpillar.
>Relocated to abandoned island, left to its own devices.
>Caterpillars become moths and butterflies.


the centipede mutated and got pyrosis ... sounds like doc lesko has some explaning to do.

[this is a reference to fallout 3]

good story though

We really should stop letting Rainbow Dash name things.

Gargantulon sounds awesome


This story is funny. This line is the funniest in the story for me.

That ending was wonderful.

With a side of fire breathing

Author Interviewer

Happy 500 upvotes! :V

Now I'm imagining Celestia growing each time she eats and breathing fire.


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