• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago


A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).


When a magical malaise falls over Ponyville, stealing the very words from ponies' mouths, it's up to Applejack to save the day!

... so long as she can figure out what the heck everypony's trying to say, first.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 117 )

You're going to write Zecora with a restriction on the vocabulary you can use?

You're a braver man than I.

I think, maybe, but I don't know, but I'm starting to feel like we got a brain problem situation on our hooves.

Not even 1500 words, and I'm hooked.
Well played, Tumbleweed. Well played.

Well... This was something.

You do word very good. I make happy noises with mouth while eye-staring at words.

“Huh.” Applejack rubbed at her chin, looking between Twilight and Rarity. “So it ain't just Rarity. But you n' me are talkin' just fine. Maybe it's a unicorn thing?”

Nah, it's just that background characters are immune. :trollestia: :trollestia:

Oh. Good. Another one of these, "I have loads of followers, I can write anything I want to!" stories. :yay:

9415061 We still don't know if it has spread that far yet, nor if non-unicorns can be affected.

You know I was reading your latest blog post and... is this what you call rarijack subtext? Coz this ain't subtext, this is overtext, supertext.
Maybe duhdoi-text but not subtext.
Aaanyway, carry on now. Looking forward to more.

Great start. In a very short time, you've set up the situation, then introduced the problem and magnified it. Very well-written with no technical issues I can see.

I can see a drama or adventure tag in this story's near future.

Word uh-ohs problem am scary-bad, but this one have happy-feels for word-train papers like such. Do the thing!

Ha! “Doctor book no help” indeed.


Myself'm hooked. The writing was pretty well will, and the myself found action grammar funny. Myself taking abrue to't to to what to see taking that method ridiculous this gets.

...Bad English aside, I look forward to seeing where this goes. :)

The hilarity of Twilight, of all ponies, shouting out "Doctor book no help!" resulted in much uproarious laughter.

This is very good. I enjoyed this very much. I wrote something nearly the same (but not quite) a while back, using Simple Writer thing, but told it from Star Bottom's point of view. It was very hard, but fun to do. Also, I am using Simple Writer thing to write this, which is why I could not say Star Bottom's real name. Having to say Many Colour Sky Light Bridge Rush instead of real name for pony with hair of many colours did get a bit tiring, though.

Scanning Equus system for Intelligence eaters.

I don't know if I'd say Zecora has a vocabulary restriction, but it's more of a... Hm. Structure? restriction? She has an expanded vocabulary, but she speaks in a very, ah... structured? way? I'm not sure how you'd explain her rhyming tendencies, but we do have the Tamarians that speak in metaphor, so that's my best way to explain how I mean...

And my terrible lunch has gone to my head, now I can barely do the words D:

Looks like the Big Brain has arrived in Equestria.

Darn it, now I want to revisit that tribute to Thing Explainer.

Very intriguing story. Looking forward to more.

Me am going to look at pony-words more. Good thing, Rolly-twig-ball-thing!

This interesting. Me follow.

Oho! Now that's an original problem. Or an original way of attack.

So what will it be. A sickness? A Starlight Glimmer botched spell? A Words Eater monster?

If this was in Equestria Girls universe, I would say an ancient artefact grimoire that belonged to an author afflicted with the blank page syndrome. Rather than work at it, he created a magic book that would take the idea of other pony right out of their head. But it didn't go like he intended and the cursed book only stole more and more random word from ponies around him. Huh... that idea kind of ran wild there... sorry.

Ah. They talk like Super Mutants.

This story looks interesting. Looking forward to how it will play out. :pinkiehappy:

So, is it aphasia or schizophasia?

Me make happy sounds wif mouf while eyes look at werds. Me like make happy sounds! Need moar werds to look at wif eyes.

This silly. You silly. Please keep do be silly.

If by run wild, you mean create a very interesting story hook, then yes. It "ran wild".

Huukt on fonix werkt for mee :rainbowlaugh:

“Brain problem situation!”
“Doctor book no help!” Twilight's voice wavered at the betrayal.

Well duh Twilight! You were not supposed to eat them!

That's all I got out of that as well. Along with what little normal words are being spoken, which are quite few.

All I got from the title (Don't judge me, I haven't read it yet.) Is Twilight is having a stroke.

Edit: Not what happened, I still find this funny. Favorited.

So...all the unicorns are channeling Ryan from Achievement Hunter now?

But aluminum monkeys not phasing sink automobile yak, despite bidet sounding transmorph culling. However, descending roast beef golan always fricterizes habit-forming zebras, which then monterize washtub blast. Clear?

I'm a normal person. Maybe the only one left.

I also like the story.

Random aphasia? I'm SO in.

Me no word speak good. I not need know what right use word is. Do me are stupid? Me stupid are no.

A story where some ponies can only talk in Up Goer Five with butchered syntax? I am SO down for this! Word faster!

Admit it. This is sweet, sweet catharsis after all that 'not the right word,' 'this sounds dumb,' and such, that you get in normal editing, huh?

Heh, wish I'd thought of it. :rainbowlaugh:

As long as they arent channeling Gavin lol

First thought: those intelligence eating brains from Futurama except instead of not affecting Fry, they only affect the 'field experts' or those with high vocabulary.

Well, now I want to see how Pinkie would deal with the creature...

Annoying low-brow pop song earworms, or if that failed, puns.

Awww, you missed the chance to have Twilight and Rarity having to eat the half digested word barf to regain their speeches. Just imagining their disgusted faces :pinkiesick:... :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Especially Rarity. Would have needed to be forcefed with a spoon to do it!

Neat little story that could have easily featured as an episode on the show.

“Not a book, but a creature. One with quite a fearsome feature. This beast's favorite source of nutrition, is to feed on others' erudition.”

You’re serious. Oh wow.

“Once the psychic link is made, your words and thoughts begin to fade. If the Thesaurus feeds too long, then your power of speech will be gone.”

Oh shit.

“The Thesaurus is the reason I speak in rhyme-- it protects a pony, at least sometimes. The couplets give my words a flavor, that Thesaureses do not favor.

Huh. Didn’t expect that.

“Sexy pony save us brains?” Rarity blurted-- and then immediately started blushing (either from the oversharing or the butchered grammar, depending on one's perspective).


This, Applejack knew, would be the hard part. For as much as she'd love to simply knock the stuffing out of the Thesaurus for what he had done, she knew that wouldn't help her friends get their voices back. Instead, she dredged up every memory she could of her time staying with the Orange family in Manehattan, as well as every conversation she'd had with Rarity (not to mention the arguments, though the lines there tended to blur more often than not), in order to put on the poshest, most refined accent she possibly could.

Oh this will be fun.

The Thesaurus blanched. “What ... what are you doing?”


Applejack blinked at the surreal display-- she almost felt sorry for the Thesaurus as it choked out polysyllabic words (including, ironically, the word polysyllabic itself). The words splattered onto the grass, lingering there like the world's grossest learning aid before they dissolved away, leaving little but foul-smelling puddles in their wake.


“Alright then, git.” Applejack said. “But remember, iffin' you're lyin', or iffin my friends ain't back to normal next time I see 'em, I'm comin' for you. And next time, I'm bringin' my friend Pinkie.”

Oh god.

Well, if words could give you diabetes, Pinkie is a one-way ticket to losing limbs. Also she’d just roll with the lack of words and enjoy not knowing the correct things to say. There’d be too much for her to say and that beast would be thoroughly stuffed in less than *clears throat* ten seconds flat.

A magnificent resolution, and a fine entry into the Equestrian bestiary. Rather bizarre mental image of the Thesaurus in defeat, but I doubt even Agent Sweetie Drops could've handled it better.
The previous sentence has been redacted by an organization of no particular notability. Please do not read it. Thank you.

In any case, thanks for a quick, fun adventure.

Aww, it's over already? I was kinda hoping it would be longer. Oh well, that was still pretty fun.


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