• Member Since 19th Jan, 2015
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"Only the most subtle of references." -No fanfiction writer ever


The yearly flu has struck Ponyville once more and countless ponies are resting up at home, surrounded by used tissues and bowls of various home remedies.

Unfortunately, this year's variation of the age old sniffles has an unexpected new symptom: Spontaneous bursts of supervillianry.

Fortunately, none of them are any good at it.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 178 )

HA HA HA HA HA, loving this story already, hoping for more.

Starlight, of course, is already immunized on account of being crazier than a bat under the surface.

...She’s going to have to beat up Twilight again isn’t she :pinkiehappy:

Also, I recall a phrase from another fic that still has power to freeze the heart.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders: Evil Masterminds! Yay!”

That wasn't going to be a thing, but now it is definitely going to be a thing.

"We'd better go check on the others," Twilight advised as a worried expression clouded her face, "I'd hate to think what might happen if any of them also caught the bug."

Actually Twilight. You should only be really worried about Pinkie getting this. Oh the insanity...

I blame Discord for this.

Usually a fair bet, he probably created the virus back in the day. Same time he created poison joke.

I like it and the first chapter is good. I will watch but I have just two tiny criticism to make:
dunked in vinegar = vinegar into every single orifices = Yeowch.

Rainbowdash don't even react to having vinegar in her eyes, ears, mouth or nether region? I know apple cider vinegar is not that strong but any cuts rash or sensitive skin will feel it. Come on, I dare you to put vinegar in your eyes.

And when Applejackknife pull the lever to dunk Rainbow into the juice, I understand Twilight and Spike chock is preventing them from reacting in time but it feels like they should have done something the moment Applejackknife pulled the lever. In fact in the show, Twilight often have great reaction time to grab her friends before they fall or something falls on them. So that she don't do anything irks me a little. I know it's a very small detail and kind of unimportant to the story but maybe you could add something so it doesn't seems like they could have done something.

Oh and I have a couple suggestions for future victi-err-villain.

-Trixie (come on, you can't pass up the Great and Powerful Trixie!?)
- Mayor Mare (political and administrative power turned evil)
- Bonbon or Lyra, I don't know which one would be funnier. ( the actual undercover spy or the total amateur Lyra pretending to be an evil spy)
- the Flowers Trio ( you know, those three flowers seller who always faint at everything?)
- the Couches and Quills vendor ( I just want to see if you can do something villainous with Couches and Quills)

There was actually a small section that I removed from the final draft where Applejack mentions that 6200 apples don't actually amount to that much vinegar, so she had to water it down significantly to fill the tank. But it broke the flow of the scene so it got the cut.

Also, those are some very good suggestions. Originally I had intended this to be 3-4 chapters about mostly the Element Bearers and maybe one or two lucky background ponies, but now I'm starting to get some fun interesting ideas of new places to take this concept.

may celestia have mercy on us all....I'll be in the megaspell proof bunker

I love the build up to casual villainy in Applejack. Complete with helping friendship at first, and so polite too!

Hmm... What other evils could there be...

Fluttershy, attempts to stir her animal friends to fascist levels of military activity, fails on account of a particular bears own political leanings.
Rainbow Dash, attempts to hold her job and performances hostage from all of Ponyville! That's right, SHE KNOWS SHE IS SO AWESOME THAT THE MOST EVIL THING SHE CAN DO IS DENY ANYPONY ELSE HER AWESOMENESS! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Pinkie Pie, attempts to bake an ARMY OF UNSTOPPABLE GINGERBREAD MARES!
Rarity, attempts to seduce Spike into her service of Fashionable Evildoing. Because let's face it, Spike is the most dependable and useful minion in all of Equestria! ...okay, so I'm also a Sparity shipper and thought it would be funny.

Obviously Starlight, Luna, Sunset, and Tempest came down with a version of it that lasted awhile before Twilight cured them.

And are we sure Trixie doesn't already have it right now? The description almost fits her to a tee. Especially the megolomania. If she doesn't have it at first, they shouldn't be able to tell the difference between it and her natural personality when she does get it.:rainbowlaugh:

Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie will have her great and powerful revenge on you, Princess Twilight.

Twilight: Oh no, I think Trixie caught it.

Starlight: No. That's just Trixie being Trixie.:pinkiecrazy:

Of course ponies are not naturally evil. It's a disease that causes it. It makes sense now.:pinkiecrazy:

My vote would be for Lyra pretending to be a villain for 2 reasons.
1. This is a comedy so pretending to be a super spy when her closest friend IS a super spy works here.
2. Having an actual super spy as a villain would be a problem.

The background ponies need some love too.

Oh man...we could be hear all day going on about ways this could go next. So might as well get started... :rainbowlaugh:

With the amount of wreckage those three cause, I'd say calling them evil is superfluous.

Derpy has the potential to be either the biggest threat or the greatest (and entirely accidental) savior.

"You saved us all!"
"I was trying to kill you, I just don't know what went wrong!"

I think I want to add a vote for Lyra/BonBon in a chapter. Lyra is the one that actually gets sick and BonBon spends the whole time trying to keep her in check, but ends up with endless amounts of facehoofing as Lyra has not the slightest clue how to be an evil super spy.

Also, I'd love to see some pony, maybe Carrot Top or some other background pony that is a food merchant in town do EXACTLY the example Twilight gave spike when she explained how the new flu strain might work to him.

Aww, that was a very sweet two part with both Dinky and Sweety Bell.

Kind of sad we wont see a the terrible trio lunching a crusade of evil but it was still a sweet chapter. It's good that you work the vilainous obcession with what the pony is passionate about.

And Fluttershy pulling a ''Yup, it's time to get out of the universe for a while." :pinkiecrazy: :raritywink:

I would have wanted to see Cheerilee dictatorship. The homework would have been torture...

I've always said Rarity is a greater mage than she gives herself credit for.

"Because if I break the door," Twilight explained, "Then Rarity has to fix it out of her own pocket. But if you break it, it's covered by her insurance." I always wandered if they had insurance on account of rainbow dash breaking so many things!

I fabulously did not see that coming. Good show and Dinky remains adorable!

I'm surprised they would even allow ponies to insure against RD considering it's such a sure thing it will happen. Kind of how they won't insure a person when they get over a certain age.

Of all things, I was not expecting a reference to the surprising adventures of sir digby chicken ceasar. Awesome

Okay. This looks very very promising. You, sir, have earned yourself a tracker.

Can't wait to see who gets the disease next!

By the way, was anyone else reminded of SailorJack from Pony Point of View while reading this?

Yeah, you could really go places with this. Villainous Derpy, anyone?

Just WHERE did Dinky learn that phrase? One assumes she doesn't know what it means.

Ditzy wins the Good Parent award for this chapter. Sweetie Belle gets honorable mention, despite technically being the little sister.

Rainbow Dash Insurance. That never gets old.

Yep. Disease coupled with abandonment by friends, jealousy, and/or maiming by giant cosmic bear cub.

While I am slightly disappointed that there shall not be any evil Derpy, I think I can forgive this for that adorable evil Dinky.

Or, she could end up as one of those insanely smart super-villains who predicts everypony's move and succeeds in conquering Equestria...until the disease runs its course.

"They thought I was an idiot, but I'll show them! I'll show them all!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! WHO'S A DERPY PONY NOW?!"

Would you believe that that's what inspired this whole thing?
This whole story exists so I could make a digby-dinky pun.

I interpreted it as how some insurance went cover "acts of god" or government actions, but will cover vandalism

Inspiration is what it is, and now we get to see Ponyville in the grips of ineffectual villains and a pick pocketing Dinky. I salute you.

This is delightful. Not sure if it was intentional but Rainbow's idea on Discord as a "Magic hobo" reminded me of a certain infamous tabletop character by the name of "Boxcar Joe the Magic Hobo".

I just realised that I never figured out what Dinky stole from Twilight.

Bon Bon's sweat shop.

Just what kind of operation is Bon Bon running here? :rainbowlaugh:

Well, that happened. I was right, this is too weird not to investigate. And now I am filled with ever more curiosity.

:rainbowlaugh: Oh my Luna. That bit Sweetie Belle and Rarity at the end. That was really funny.

And I wish to know oh great and comical author. Just who beat out Dinky for sweetest filly three years in a row?

Another chapter, and it's still as funny as ever. I can't believe we got to see Derpy this early in the story. Kind of a pity she wasn't a villain, along with these other lovely ideas...

Roseluck was not building a flower empire with hypnotically controlled stallions. Nor was Pokey Pierce holding up the bank for their supply of free toasters. Cheerilee had not converted the school into a iron-hooved dictatorship and Photo Finish had declined trapping ponies' souls in photos of themselves.

But hey, it's Derpy, for cryin' out loud! How can you go wrong with that?

"Because candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker!”

Nice reference. Love that movie. RIP, Gene Wilder...

Well, she is Derpy's daughter, and they obviously spend a lot of time near each other. Derpy might catch this disease yet.

Aww, reading Sweetie's interactions with her big sister... that's not a disease, that is sweet !! :raritywink::unsuresweetie:

"Hiya Spike!" Sweetie Belle cheered as she pulled him into a spinning dance. The cutie mark crusader had not been spared Rarity's fashionable efforts. She wore a flouncy pink dress with a simple sapphire brooch and tiny golden crown. "Great party, huh?"

Aww, how cute! Sweetie Belle in a Princess Peach outfit.

After the Crystalling?
I'm saying someone rigged that contest.

I'm just waiting for Fluttershy to have caught it and Discord to be egging her on.

I don't think so, that one doesn't live in Ponyville.

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