• Member Since 4th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2023

Bootsy Slickmane

Retired writer and graphic artist.


The Crystal Empire finds itself in the middle of property dispute when a representative from the north comes in, claiming that Equestria doesn't own the land. Who does? Canada, apparently.

Alternate universe tag because this is a world with Canada in it. Random tag because it's a bit silly.
Written mostly for the group Canadance is Best Pony.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 150 )

I don't believe it.:rainbowhuh:

You actually wrote a Princess Canadance story.:pinkiegasp:

There is something terribly, terribly wrong with this fandom.:rainbowlaugh:

Canadian's, the world's best fucking diplomats ever!

I would love to see more of this! xD

There really is, and I love every minute of the madness.

You know it.

Well, I was considering writing a story where Canadance goes on vacation to Manehattan, and runs into all kinds of absurd problems along the way.

Luna:You can't take our land!


Holy shit, this is gold. :pinkiehappy:

Awesome one shot story also nice cover pic! CANADA AS A PONY!!!!!!!!!!! :D

I think they made the right decision there, eh. Canadians* are so polite.

*offer not applicable to Quebec


We just assumed you were high, though."

I dunno, Canadance didn't seem upset at the idea that Cadance was high while on duty.

... I think a part of my brain just broke.

I'll get the popcorn.

Not sure I'd quite go that far, but thank you very much. And she is quite cute, eh?

I concur, good sir.

you should make a sequel or something!

I'm really considering it, either following up on the Crystal Empire being Canadian, or just something else with Miss Canadance.

I am Canadian, I just don't type my accent.....
Cool story bro!:moustache:


Okay. Nice story, but I am a Canadian and we do NOT say eh after everything. Eh. :-)~

Yeah, I tried not to go overboard with the accent, particularly the "eh." It's such a versatile word, though, eh?

4929058 Our Canada just contracted a bad case of Republicanitis from the USA. The worst this Canada can catch from Equestria is Hasbroitis, the curse of tasteless new character and accessory design.

You know, there are Americans who think actual maple syrup is watery, not sweet enough, and not to be compared to Aunt Jemimas. :pinkiecrazy:


The French are actually part of Canada's immune system, they make it indigestible to the US.

And truth be told, I don't actually say eh after every sentence, nor do I like hockey that much, nor do I say "aboot"... Eh.

I expect to get a lot of down votes for this and I know it's more in my failing to keep my suspension of disbelief but I still feel the need to explain why I down voted this story.

I know this was intended as comedy, but the idea of surrendering any sovereign territory and its people, particularly the efforts involved to liberate them for a mere food commodity, no matter how delicious particularly considering the fact that said product comes from trees which can just as easily be harvested by a more friendly government that can be installed should "Princess Canadance" prove to much of a hassle over recognizing Equestrian quasi rule of the Crystal Empire. Heck the right war of words can easily make her out to be the villain in her own country.

I say this as someone who has Canadian grandparents who still visit the nation regularly.

Maybe it's the fact I'm a History major political science minor who has spent so much time studying foreign policy, but I just can't suspend my disbelief for this story.

A fair point. I'm certainly no expert on politics, but really, this was never designed to make much sense anyway. Luna certainly called Celestia on how absurd it was. Though, really, is there a precedent for a city that was a sovereign state so long ago that nobody remembers it appearing out of nowhere on your land, only to be claimed by another country that moves in and installs their own leaders? Though there is the whole "Crystal Princess" thing, in which case the Empire might be considered it's own state (and might be in canon, it isn't clear) and shouldn't be sending their taxes anywhere. But then, there's no story, here.

Yeah, uh, this was pretty much just written because "Canadance" needed a story written about her (I'd probably have called the Canadian princess "Maple Heart" or something), and I'm crazy enough (and have enough time) to actually do it. For the record, I actually like Canada.

Anyway, I appreciate you letting me know why you downvoted the story. I appreciate all feedback, whether positive, negative, or even a simple "meh."


Like I said so long as you can suspend your disbelief it works fine, unfortunately because of my areas of study and special focuses within those I can't help but think broader and thus make it harder for me to suspend my disbelief on these issues.

If I had been able to suspend it I assure you I would have gotten a chuckle out of it, but sadly I couldn't.

Perfectly understandable. We all have areas in which we find our disbelief difficult to suspend, usually based on our hobbies or areas of study. I certainly have mine, as well.

I like canada as much as the next guy, but when will there be a Yooper pony? we have stuff in the U.P. too ya know.
like.... mining....deer hunting season may as well be a holiday.... and....mining.....and.....trees......and mining, did I mention mining? we have a lot of iron up here.... oh oh! we have..... some micro brewerys where I live! quite a few in fact! so we have beer.... saunas? I guess we have those... uhhh...Lake Superior? I think we own half of that, canada gets the rest...
I feel like sometimes canada could annex us and no one downstate, or in the u.s. for that matter, would even notice.
but we are in the dictionary so there is that.

Ya, nobody really remembers that the upper half is just chillin' up there, sitting on Wisconsin like a pointy elf hat. It's too bad, really. I'd say there should be a pony for my home state, but all we really have is corn and the Indy 500. Oh, and coal plants. Lots of coal plants.

We rule the world with maple syrup and Kraft Dinner. Our reign is absolute with tasty fist!

4930515 cool, we have iron mines.
not to mention they act like we don't even exist downstate, like this winter was really bad, like, damaged our infrastructure pretty severely, bad. We asked the governor for some money to fix it. essentially gave us the middle finger.

Oh! Oh oh oh!
This is glorious! :pinkiehappy: I was ready to fave this the moment I read the name "Canadance". The rest of the story was just an awesome bonus.

Oh, to think of how much has resulted from me making fun of a typo! :facehoof:

As an American whose closest connection to Canada is having had a Canadian roommate for a few months, I loved this story.

All it needs is some poutine.

Weirdly enough, the cliché 'Canadian accent' does exist, but only in a small percentage of people who play hockey, often.

Anyway, being a nationalist Canadian made me read this as soon as I saw it. Also, well written. Kudos from me.

What's this aboot, eh? Might be worth a read, so take off, ya hosers.

All hail the delicious power of Canada!

Aw, dude, that sucks.

Why thank you, glad you liked it so.

I know, isn't this community just crazy awesome?

I know, I just couldn't find a good place to put it. It'll surely be in a sequel, if I ever write one.

Thank you kindly.

Oh, man with all these people wanting more Canadance, I might just have to provide. She is pretty cute, after all.

Comment posted by Shadow Hero deleted Aug 31st, 2014

This was good, very good.

As a Canadian, I fully approve.

Ah,Canadia...Truely the greatest nation to be found....Well aside from El Salvadonka

4930434 I'd say that Israel is actually a pretty good real world comparison - key similarities being popping up out of nowhere and powerful foreign interests enforcing the sovereignty of the new state. The current situation with Ukraine and Russia is also similar; Russia is laying claims to foreign territory based on racial and ethnic history (that's their big, public excuse anyway), similar to how Equestria lays claim to the CE.

I also remember reading of some cases where people where confused on what side of the Canada/America border they were on; it was established based on the latitude line, and as better tech evolved to measure such things, the line shifted a bit (plus, lots of people heading west couldn't or didn't measure at all). People would wake up one day to a government surveyor telling them that they were trespassing on foreign soil (and that the government had given their land away to someone else), despite living and homesteading the land for years.

I do know that the current border is still kind of screwy for a bunch of people (seriously, watch this video. Cool stuff).

... er, right. The story. I liked it; I read it as a pretty dry comedy with most of the humour in understated absurdity. I'm not familiar with "Canadance" as a concept, but I guess one doesn;t need to be to get the story. Got a favorite and an upvote from me.

Who the heck is Canadance? :rainbowhuh:

'Meri...oh wait, wrong country.

CANADA! :pinkiehappy:

...is best country :pinkiehappy:

Thanks. Always pleased to see pleased readers.

The Princess of Maple Syrup.
Really, this began because a group formed around a misspelling of the name "Cadance." Someone suggested that a story about this new pony "Canadance" be written. Apparently, she's the nation of Canada ponified. I took up the challenge, wrote this story, and now we're here, in the eye of this storm of wonderful madness.

Russia isn't looking too good with their takeover, either. The Crystal Empire, like Ukraine, ought to be allowed to be its own sovereign state. Perhaps I'll explore that quest for independence if I ever write direct sequels to this.

That's one screwed up border, there. Seems that property confusion is pretty common. Thanks for the link, by the way.

Yeah, the whole story is very subdued in what humor it has. The name "Canadance" is pretty much just an inside joke, but that name really has virtually no bearing on the story itself, indeed. In short, it's pretty much just the country of Canada in pony form, used as a representative of the nation in this story. Thanks, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

As a proud Maple syrup-blooded Canadian I approve of this story.

Ah, nothing like some good ol' simple, stereotypical depictions of this entire nation of people.

I gave it my like and favourite.

"Throwing an oat" really does some like some sort of slang term for... something, like "pitching a fit." Hey, "throwing an oat" actually sounds like something the ponies might say, too. And yeah, everyone always writes it as "oot" and "aboot," but the stereotypical English Canadian accent always sounded a lot more like "oat" and "aboat," to me.

Luckily for everypony, you guys cleared everything up and blew that evil unicorn away, so it all turned oat okay.

We're not your guys, buddy.

Oh, and I do love Princess Canadance. I hope to see the Maple Heart activated by the power of politeness sometime in the future.

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