• Member Since 4th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 25th, 2023

Bootsy Slickmane

Retired writer and graphic artist.


Diamond Tiara goes shopping for eggs. Nothing ensues.

Now with a reading on Youtube.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 103 )

I like this. I guess you can have entertainment without all the chaos and the drama.
Isn't it good to just sit and watch the world end? Great job, mate!

I enjoyed this a lot more than I should have...

Greatest adventure ever.

Very enjoyable!! I like these kinds of stories.

Holy crap, that opening joke!! I love it!!! I always love Dad humour.

I do enjoy me some quality, drama-free fluff. Have a moustache. :moustache:
There was even a mini-friendship report! :pinkiehappy:

That was sooo slice of life. I like.

...you did NOT seriously reference the movie Jack Frost... :facehoof:

I can picture this happening while the CMC or the mane 6 are doing something crazy involving the rest of the town.

Now this, THIS, is "slice-of-life". With all the tear-jerking dramas, spicy romances, and epic adventures around here, it's good to slow down once every so often, and enjoy the little things in life, like grocery shopping with a friend.

It seems Diamond isn't the only one who knows how to manipulate family.

I can agree that this is very slice of life-y for normal people. However, to make it more believable for Ponyville, there might need to be more townsfolk running around in the background like it's the end of the world.:twilightblush:

Regardless, you have my like.

Loved the moral. Miss those days when you just walked everywhere with your buddy talking about whatever came to mind that day. Nice end.

Filthy Rich should start up a comedy act with Pinkie, they'd knock them dead. xD

3820208 Also, NMM must return again and destroy 1/4 of Equestria. Discord must turn super-psycho and destroy 1/4 of Equestria, humans must show up (with token magical immunity and/or hyper-competency in all forms of magic, science, and demonology) and destroy 1/4 of Equestria, King Sombra must show up and destroy 1/4 of Equestria.

And Chrysalis then takes all the scattered ponies, drains them of love, converts them into changelings... and then they all starve to death.

THEN this will qualify as a true pony fanfic!


That was so wonderfully mild, it was amazing.
In the sex, violence, and drama filled world of My Little Pony fanfiction, this is an odd breath of fresh air.

This is a very well written and novel work that clashes against everything out there in a beautifully plain way.

Upvoted for truth in advertising, and for giving two minor characters some screen time and innocent laughs.

Almost as epic as Gurren Lagann.


I don't know what I expected.

It takes some talent to take something boring and make it entertaining... without changing much of anything at all. :applejackconfused:

I wasn't aware that horses ate eggs.

I read this. And it was a story. I feel adequate. :eeyup:

3824528 Cakes dude. Cakes.

Of course this does raise a good question, do they eat other egg based things like scrambled eggs? I mean they already use them for cakes, so why not?

Bilbo Baggins should have just gone grocery shopping instead.

Yeah, but then the story would have been more interesting. Nothing but boring egg shopping to be found here.

Thanks. Walking home from high school with friends was indeed a source of much inspiration for this one. And I can't take full credit for daddy's joke, because...

Eeyup, I most certainly did. Modified the line a bit, though. I think I'm the only one who didn't completely hate that movie.

Yeah, I don't think real horses eat eggs. Our pastel ponies here do eat cakes, though, as wiiman mentioned. And also, Rarity fried four eggs for breakfast in "Sisterhooves Social," so take that however you will.


Me neither, really.

Your comment was informational.

Wow, I'm more than a little surprised at the reception this has gotten, as well as slightly confused. Honestly, this idea came to me while reading a forum post about things to not do when writing stories. It's a good article, and I having nothing against the person who wrote it (just putting that out there). The post mentioned that most people probably wouldn't be interested in reading a story where a character does nothing of consequence aside from buying eggs. Being the cheeky little weirdo that I am, I decided to write just that, but write it in such a way that it might actually be enjoyable anyway. Judging by these reactions, I think I might have succeeded just a bit.

Thank you very much, everyone. I never expected so many people to like this, but I feel quite honored by all of you. It was a fun little slice of life to write, and I'm very pleased to see that some people found it enjoyable.

Go for the cheeky stuff. It's definitely what you should do while writing. Be different by just changing conventions. Screwing around with them.

3825471 Actually, it wouldn't be more interesting.. but it would gather a massive fanbase of emo teens who think their life is terribly because their parents won't buy them a new Mercedes.

(In other words, I hate children.) :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

When everyone else is pounding away with hammers, pick up a screwdriver, eh? I can get definitely behind that.

Heh. Perhaps "interesting" was the wrong word.

While others try and write super masterpieces, I know many people just see them as 'another story'. Screw with the conventions. Make people stop and wonder what they're looking at. Because then you've grabbed their attention, just by being different in a different way.

3825658 When everyone else is pounding away with hammers... use a mass driver. (There's no kill like overkill!) :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

So far, I've just written whatever I've felt like writing, regardless of what seems popular or conventional. I have restrained myself from finishing and publishing some things for fear of backlash, but perhaps it's time I shed the last of my literary inhibitions. Thank you.

You know I half thought something completely crazy would happen. I guess you don't always get what you, eggspected! Sorry I love egg puns.:twilightblush: Great story by the way.

No need to apologize for the pun. I daresay it was positively eggzemplary. And thanks; I do try to be entertaining.

Very well written, high quality. Even though I'm not a fan of this genre, I like this story. I can't say it's great or extraordinary, because nothing happens, but since this was the purpose of the story, it accomplishes it more than perfectly.

And I'm also astonished by the reception it got. Maybe I should try doing something like this... I keep creating original stories (mostly in my head), but people in this site only like stories that have been done thousands of times over an over again... And apperently, also this kind of story. Again, great work, your writing skills are great.

Thank you kindly. I'm not sure I quite understand why this has gotten such a good reception. I'm virtually unknown around here, so it's not due to any association with the author. As far as I can tell, it's a tale of unabashedly-mundane events in a sea filled with stories of fantastic and extraordinary happenings, and people find it refreshing because it's so ordinary. A paradox, really: it's unique because it's about something insanely generic (as in shopping), which I guess isn't seen that much around here.

Or something like that. Wrote it on a mobile device in a couple of hours on a whim, and it becomes my highest-rated story within a day (by the site's sorting system). Go figure.

You are welcome. Wow, you wrote using a mobile? You're even better than I thought.
Something that is also weird in this site, but I believe it happens in the entire fandom, is that the majority of bronies get scared easily. Everywhere I see them saying that they don't like dark stories. And that also happens with the authors, as you can see by the revolting lack of true dark stories. I'm not talking about gory stories, but dark stories that actually make you afraid, that you can almost feel a cold hand on your shoulder when reading it.
And the ammount of stories of "foalcon" that are out there is unnerving.

Well, thanks again. Yeah, our fandom certainly has its, uh, quirks. Honestly, I've never been much into gorey stories or tales or true terror, though I do prefer the latter. Too much "horror" today isn't scary at all, it's just gross. Horror stories should make you paranoid and literally keep you awake at night, but that's not generally something I like feeling. Just not my style, I suppose. I've never really written horror like that, but I might give it a shot someday. You've kinda got me wanting to fill that void.

Maybe you should try it.

I'm not specifically sure about eggs, but herbivores aren't actually limited to plants, that's just what they mainly eat:

Whoa. Now that's something you don't see everyday.

3827608 I also am quite fed up with 'horror' characters who are even dumber than humans are normally. :trollestia:

Forget 'idiot-balling', many characters seem to have taken a blow from the 'idiot nuke'! :raritywink:

Does that fulfill your Horror genre desire?

3827458 Well, the problem with making Pony into a dark story is that one must take into account that the presence of truly nightmarish creatures of puerile vileness would tend to alter the world's history up to this point.

Butterfly effect, ya know?

So, many of the show's traits would be drastically altered, something which few darkfic authors bother to take into consideration, and I don't care for lazy writing.

3827608 I do have an idea... but it's such a hopeless scenario I have a hard time making myself write it.

Biologists can come up with terrible things, you know... such as subtle modifications to real-world parasites to create a horror monster that is not quite out of the realm of reality.

Umm.... A little bit, actually.

Oh yeah, it's insane how inane most characters in those kinds of stories act. It's a wonder they've survived at all.
There's some potential for horrors in Everfree, of course, but don't forget about Tartarus. And, of course, we've been witness to transformation magic. That could create some serious horror. There's always aliens, but not everyone likes that sort of thing.

And, wow, this comment thread has gone from mundane grocery shopping to the inadequacies of modern horror. Interesting.

Hum... You are mostly right. This kind of lazy writing appears to be an epidemic because 99% of the fanfictions present radical changes to the world of MLP but don't use the Alternative Universe tag. Most of them contain completely implausible scenearios. But no one cares, appearently.

It's not impossible to create a dark story that fits the "canon" world of MLP. There are lots of darky things in the FIM universe that many people miss. I'm going to give a few examples, some of them might not be very dark but they certainly shouldn't appear in a little girl show: Celestia banished her posessed sister, her own sister, to the moon, thousands of kilometers from the entire ponykind. According to the show, she has the power to move the sun without a sweat. I think that's power enough to "clean" her sister from whatever posessed her. To compare, Luna moves the moon, which is more than a few million times smaller than the sun and is incredibly light in comparison with it. Is like comparing an elephant with a feather.
Other example: they sentenced a guy to be trapped in the same position, literally petrified, for more than a thousand years just because he turned clouds into cotton candy. He is the god of fucking caos! If he can't cause chaos, he serves no purpose. Then they "converted" him to the "good side". He's not evil, the guy didn't even hurt anyone. And chaos is neutral, it doesn't choose who or what is going to get screwed.
Another one: Chrysalis kidnapped and mantained Cadance in captivity, mind controled her friends and husband.
Of course, she could have knocked the door of the Canterlot Palace and asked for Celestia's help. If Celestia is a as benevolent as everyone says, she would help. But I think that the changelings had to invade or they would starve to death.
Finally, King Sombra. They blew him to pieces. Literally. Obviously, he was evil. But they could have said WHY, exactly. Unless he enslaved and raped all the Crystal ponies, I don't see why not locking him again in a prison that actually works, or send him to the moon with his horn cut off so he can't use magic to escape. These situations make me question the Mane 6's true nature.

3829759 Ah, but you're assuming the Equestrian Sun and Moon are the same as ours.

It is rather more likely that both are magical bodies of nearly the same size which are co-orbital, save for NMM's eclipsing of the Sun.

Remember, on this world, the Sun orbits the planet. We cannot apply our cosmological models to their world in any regard.

Magic tends to muddy the waters of classical physics rather severely, as nothing can be taken for granted in a magical world.

If you assume the Sun-moon equality, then Celestia and Luna possess the same relative power. This is one thing that IS taken into account in many fics.

Discord is not just the spirit of chaos, he's also DISHARMONY. Why do people always forget that? Chaos may be neutral, but disharmony tends to be negative in connotation. At any rate, Discord isn't a perfect avatar of chaos given that he has plans now and then... forethought is inconsistent with the principles of chaos.

That pun was... eggcellent. :trollestia:

aw, this was fucking cute
I loved it :heart:

Last night, I read this to my brother. When I got to that pun, his reaction was exactly the same as Diamond's was initially. For a moment, I was narrating real life.

Thanks. I never would have expected it before joining this fandom, but it looks like cute might be one of the things I do best. Glad to see you loved it.

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