• Member Since 22nd Mar, 2019
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I am become cringe, destroyer of... my own shame, lol


David had a decent run of things in Equestria for a while now... A house, decent job doing silly little precision tasks that took the average pony waaay longer to do in exchange for some bits... Semi-frequent home-invasions...

Waking up to his- very dead- phone blowing up, and a Princess knocking on his door, out of breath and desperate, he has to figure out exactly why she's shown up.

Or more accurately- why she's now chasing him. Preferably after he's booked it, and no longer feels a mortal fear from the sheer insanity that was on his phone.

Such is life for human David.

I had the inspiration to write this just by seeing the image (and wanting to make myself write more/post more) and originally it was going to be an Anon- but then I had a funny idea.
I gave myself Edgerunners PTSD. And I couldn't fit the joke in well. It was not worth it.
... At least I got more third person practice!
Therin lies the sunk cost fallacy, and my desire to write more third person.
Ah well, I had some fun with the banter, so worth!

Give Icey some love. Peak funny arts.
Obligatory Ko-fi beg.

Featured on release day, and got to 1st at that. (Also apparently featured on EQD-) Thanks to y'all for enjoying my silly horsewords, to this day. :raritywink:

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 73 )

Plus at some point I was like 'ah fuck I'm going too long' lmao. Morphed from a stupid one-shot, to a 10k of me just going 'and then-' So I had to eventually grab my hand and go 'just post it.'

Imagine posting a net new story, couldn't be me! :trollestia:

Will read this later.

Imagine, right? Smh

Do it, coward.

this was quite a lovely read!

Aside from Lyra potentially molesting David but you know still a good story

Cadance being an absolute nerd about spreading love is actually a really nice premise, and it made this a nice fic. Thank you for sharing it 🙌🏽

That cover is perfect

If you've ever written something out and gone 'this feels a bit too real,' it was this for me. Small, joking text chains that break into long personal tangents, then winding back to someone's interests... yeah.

I... concerningly... relate to this...

Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

So can we get a sequel to this cause David/cadence ship is pretty cute

I have just one thing to say about this story. More please

Praying this gets a sequel. Cadence is my favorite of the three and doesn’t get enough human pairing stories imo. Great work!

I'm also on the team of "Make a sequel/Expand this story" because this is a neat little setting you've made here with room to grow; what's here now almost feels like a prologue in itself.

This was a good, nice read

I will, jeeeez, give me some time you goofball.

This story is reminding me that I miss young love.
I'm only 25 but the world just feels too adult these days....
Thank you mr author man

Alr bois, time for my favourite gameshow- EARLY STORY RELEASE LONG REPLY TIME-
Much appreciated! Dw about it it was nothing bad... ish
Much appreciated, broder, I find balancing fanon chaotic Cadance with fanon serious Cadance is a good way to do it.
Coverart hunting takes some of the longest time in my writing- though sometimes, like in this one, it came right into my feed!
I think it can depend! It can be a nice thing because of the connections you make, but it can be a bad thing if you get into a loop of only doing it!
Cackles evilly
Much appreciated, and godspeed Mr Bruuuuuuuuh.
No U
Honestly, my favourite comment so far. The bubbly, fun feeling of messaging and getting anxious over getting replies... it's a special thing. Young love is easy to lose, but always a ride.
It's a feeling I wanted to channel into the middle-chapter, because that kind of thing can really shape someone.
And for the record, got it right the first time. :raritywink:

I really want to see more of this. Just like someone else said, this feels more like a prologue than a short story.

I sure hope this turns into a long store, Im loving it!

Really cool story! :heart:

Love Cadance's characterization in this one, feels really refreshing compared to the usual 'I AM A LOVE PLOT DEVICE' (which I am deffo NOT doing in my own story).

Chapter 2 was so real lol reminded me of the teenagers texting meme.

If you ever do expand this or write a sequel... I WILL BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT

Man I hope this story gets a sequel or extensions. It was adorable and fun.

Good stuff.

I didn't know what to expect when I decided to give this story a chance, and for a minute I was lost as to what was happening. I'm happy that I did. It was stories like these early in the fandom that helped foster the fandom's desire to write. Thought some themes I would normally eye roll at didn't give me that vibe in this story, and honestly seemed to cement the story together.

Cadance being a shut in and why Twilight acts the way she does? It could have been done before, but to me this was a first time reading that and love the idea.

As with most, a sequel exploring their budding friendship as Celestia 'takes what she can get' by pressuring them into action would be funny to read. And hopefully we can discover what she did to mess up her chances with Shining Armor.

Hahah, it's comments like this that get me writing more too, ngl! It goes both ways, I think.

Honestly, I think the issue people have is using tropes as crutches. When you take some concepts and run with them, giving apt amounts of seriousness and silliness to them, that's when you win. I like to take from the Araki school of thought, there. Any further ideas just kind of flowed off the top of my head- hell that last epilogue there for the flashback was written less than an hour before the story was posted :raritywink:

No promises, but more might come.

I also think my characterization of Cadance is a merge of different fanon interpretations, along with a sprinkle of 'hot mess' and 'Twilight but more developed.' I'd like to say it makes her a fun character- without someone to balance her out she's a ball of chaos.

"Except for the poor person who realizes they can't handle several ponies! What happens then, huh?!"

I don't understand how would this be? A argument against the idea of herds

Enjoyed your story!

I would read more of this if there were ever any continuation… :raritywink:

This was a great read I hope you do more . I've really enjoyed your writing.

Everything in moderation, as they say.

This had far better worldbuilding, far deeper characterization, and was far cuter than it had any right to be. Just as intended, I assume. :raritywink:

We need a sequel or a continuation! I want to know what happened with Lyra or Shining so bad!


The exact reason I won't do a 3-way.
You might struggle to keep up with the needs of two other people, especially if either of them are higher maintainence.
And I know you can have your other partners pick up the slack but its not a 50/50 proposition and not everyone is willing or able to do that.
I'm not saying all, but I've PERSONALLY ANECDOTAL seen a higher rate of emotional neglect in poly relationships for what I THINK is this reason. Can work, just, harder. And some people, like myself, are definitely not up to the task.

Good story bruh, you've put another keeper out der.

but copying that spinning disk seemed to be half the battle done!

Oh god, what phone uses a hard drive instead of a solid state drive? That would actually be terrible. Any sort of quick movement would cause it to stutter and glitch lol.

As I am currently working on a tiny bonus chapter that will release very soon, thanks for pointing that out, I will quietly fix that in post :twilightblush:

Well this story was really cute, and I wish there was 11948249 can't wait for more!

Well, consider this a small treat for now :raritywink:

Very cute,thank you

Hope this gets a sequel someday.

Oooooooh I hope that means we get a sequel story. This is too good not to. :raritystarry:

Nice chapter, but it irks me that the fic is listed as ‘completed’ but this leaves it on a cliffhanger that feels like theres more to come, ughhhhhhh

Nothing stops you from tracking it anyway just in case (after all, if it really is complete, what does that cost you beyond one extra click?). I know I have. :raritywink:

Haven't seen this interpretation of Cadance before, but I dig it! Awkward Princess of Love who ends up scaring away most other ponies? Heck yeah! :rainbowwild:

This story was an absolute treat to read, and rather adorable :twilightsmile:

Here's hoping we might see more of this awkward duo!

It all flashed in front of his eyes- his mind struggling with it all. Like an eldritch horror, a Necronomicon of shipping. No mortal creature was supposed to see any of this, no mortal mind could comprehend it, unless they were on Tumblr before the porn ban.

That's crazy.

If you don't continue this it's a crime against humanity..... pls q.q

Loved this 🙌🏽

I love that Cadance was characterized as someone hyper fixated on her special talent. It really fits the whole notion that ponies, in general, get their cutie marks because they find something they want to hyper fixate on for the rest of their lives. Hilarious how she has to constantly stop herself from making a suggestive joke. :rainbowlaugh:

I also really enjoyed the dynamic between Cadance and David, especially once they got past their initial misunderstanding. I find myself in the same place as Celestia: I ship these two a lot and would love to see more of them. silently starts chanting "sequel"

The only minor thing I would note is I noticed contractions used when they aren't necessary (i.e. when the intended use of the word is to show possession, such as using "it's" when "its" needs to be used and similarly with "her's" instead of "hers"). It mainly stood out to me because it's a minor pet peeve of mine but not too big a deal. Just figured I would mention it for future reference.

Great story! Had a lot of laughs.

So, another reference to a mysterious "incident" with Cadance that no one is talking about in detail, but which it sounds like it resulted in Cadance becoming more withdrawn and possibly having her privileges restricted in some way. And we learned in the other chapter that Shining does indeed exist in this AU, and that he and Cadance had some relationship but then "Cadance dropped the ball," so they clearly aren't together now. Wonder if the two are related, that Cadance did something drastic or unwise and drove Shining off for good? I don't think she would have done anything too illegal or immoral if she's kept her crown and Twilight is still on good terms with her, but I am getting the impression that there's some feelings of shame present here.

Caught up. A chaotic piece of literature that characterizes Cadance being way too in love with her own talents to realize at the time that she's overstepping many boundaries for a poor estranged soul named David. Bonus chapter really adds on to that description as well. Celestia just being Celestia as well, my god. :trollestia:

Thanks for the fic!

Back to writing my own fics...

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