Home is for the Weak

by Pickleless


The Backstory that Doesn't Really Matter.

Once every decade, one of the two royal sisters would take a whole year off from ruling the country. They would disguise themselves as a normal pony and live whatever life they wanted for a full year, and then come back to rule the country feeling refreshed. Luna would always try to pick up a hobby: painting, creating music, writing stories... Celestia, on the other hand, would always do one thing and one thing only all year round.

"Please tell me you don't plan to sleep in a box all year." Luna frowned.

"I won't sleep in a box all year." Celestia said calmly.

"It's been a thousand years, you have ruled this country diligently without rest. I understand the temptation but PLEASE sister, don't just doze off in a box all year long."

"I said I wouldn't do that. Lulu, look at me."

Luna stared her older sister in the eyes.

"We're both much more mature than we were a millennium ago. I'm not going to do something as unproductive as sit in a box all year long, I promise."

"You promise, really? Because I'm going to check the streets of Canterlot daily for you sister. You better not be lying."

"Look, Luna." Celestia laid a hoof on her sister's head. "I PROMISE that I will not spend all year sitting in a box, being a dirty, smelly, lifeless pegasus male who does nothing but sleep."


Scootaloo walked into her alleyway to find a dirty, smelly, lifeless pegasus male sleeping in her box.

"Hey," she growled, "this is MY box!"

"Uuuuuuuugh..." The homeless stallion quietly groaned.

"Go find somewhere else to sleep." Scootaloo stamped her hoof.

"I'll cut you-" The stallion starting having a coughing fit.

Scootaloo backed up in fear.

"-a deal kid." The stallion croaked.

"What?" Scootlaoo relaxed.

"I'll cut you a deal kid." The stallion said once more.

Scootaloo watched as he scooted over, making room in the box for her.

"That's not a deal!" She whined.

Her complaint fell on deaf ears, as the stallion was already snoring again. Grumbling, Scootaloo climbed into HER box and tried to get comfortable.

"Well..." she muttered, "at least you're warm and cushy."

Ponyville's winter blew cold air into the alleyway. Scootaloo snuggled in deeper under the stallion's wing. Within minutes, the little pegasus soon joined the older one's deep sleep.