//------------------------------// // Time? Heheh! Time, is an illusion! The only time, is party time, mmkay~? // Story: Home is for the Weak // by Pickleless //------------------------------// It was 3 AM, Shining Armor was in a snuggle coma, and oddly enough, Cadence had grown to love her insomnia. Even while exhausted, it was a precious, peaceful moment to hold her husband close and stare into nothing, she- Three gentle knocks tapped on her door. Frowning, Cadence carefully extracted herself from her bed and made her way to her bedroom door. Upon opening it, she was confused to see Celestia in her old Uncle disguise. "Aunt Tia? What are you doing here, it's the middle of the night!" "Good to see you Cadence, and I'm Nopony Special," the stallion answered. Cadence snorted, "You're the Alicorn of the Sun." "Right, yeah, so Celestia kicked me out, can I crash here for a bit?" The Alicorn stared up at the tall mangy pegasus in silence. "You are Celestia." "Yeah, so like, the couch down a couple stairs. Just until I find another box and-" "N- No, wait, you are Celestia." Cadence groaned in frustration. "Yes, I am indeed." He nodded. "The one who took me in when I was a foal?" "I do remember doing that." "The owner of Canterlot Castle and generally all of Equestria?" "Nah, Celestia kicked me out. That's kind of why I'm here actually. My back up is Fluttershy but her house smells like sweaty animals, so if-" "Okay okay okay, back up!" Cadence stopped to take a deep breath, and let it go. "What happened exactly?" "So I was hanging out with Scootaloo." Nopony started. "Who?" "She was a flower girl at your wedding." "Who?" "She babysat Flurry Heart a couple times." "Who?" "She can't fly due to gimp wings and her ribs are visible-" "Oh! The orange furred purple haired filly?" "Yep, Scootaloo, so I was hanging with her-" "When did you two start hanging out?" Cadence frowned. "About a year and a half ago, she lives in my closet." "She moved to Canterlot? I thought her and those other flowers girls were the little sisters of the elements of harmony?" "Yeah she's still in Ponyville." "Didn’t you just say she lives in your closet?" Cadence inquired. "Uh huh, so Scootaloo and I were hanging out, and a monster attacked Ponyville, like usual." "What do you mean like usual-" "And there's sorta of an unspoken town rule that whoever is closest to the monster usually deals with it. Just helps daily life not get so interrupted and all that." Nopony shrugged. "Don't you have a military? What is wrong with Pony-" "Ponyville's great, I love it, don't worry about it. So Scootaloo fell asleep in a really cute pose and I wanted to get a picture, so I had to deal with the monster quietly." "What's your relationship with Scootaloo?" Cadence raised a brow. The two stared at each other in silence. "I had to get that picture, so I decided to just teleport the monster away." Nopony continued. "I really starting to get confus-" "And while I was teleporting it I thought of how cute Luna was when she was little and accidentally teleported it to her bedroom while she was sleeping." Cadence gasped, "Oh my goodness, is she okay?!" "I 'unno, anyway, after that I tried doing damage control, and accidentally set Scootaloo's closet on fire, and Luna's room got destroyed and long story short Celestia kicked me out." Nopony scratched the side of his hip. Cadence stared at Nopony, then back at her still somehow asleep husband, then back at the dirty stallion before her. "Um, so..." Cadence tried to shake her stupor off. "Are you currently a separate entity from Celestia?" "Of course not," he chuckled. "Okay, uh, could I talk to her? Please?" Cadence whimpered. "Naaaah she's busy venting to Luna right now." Cadence slowly pushed her hooves into her face. "I don't understand!" Cadence whined. "Okay, from the top, so Scootaloo and I were hanging out-" "Couch downstairs, you can use it, good night-" Cadence slammed the door shut. "I love you too Niece!" Nopony shouted through the other end of the door. "Go to bed!!" "So if I end up staying for a while can I invite some friends-" "GO AWAY!!"