• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago


Total trash mammal.

More money means more caramel macchiatos. More caramel macchiatos mean more sexy horses. Just so you know.

Click Here to Support my Kinky Loving Clop!

Support Captain Hairball by Buying His Real Book

Check out my first collection of horror stories! Almost as gross as my porn!

• A white hat hacker must move down a dark path to escape the clutches of a dark web torture site.
• The survivor of a slasher massacre is not what she seems.
• A demon must discover the sins of a pair of apparently incorruptible twins, or face damnation himself.
• A mercenary is driven to confront an eldritch horror by the love of a young male prostitute.

This volume from the deeply disturbed Leonard Warren includes five grotesque, surreal short stories and five gruesome flash fictions.

Read it for free on Kindle Unlimited!

Author Bio

Name: Capt. Horatio Herbert Hairball

Occupation: Pornographer, Space Pirate

Age: Older than soap.

Furaffinity: capt_hairball

Sexuality: Writesexual

Influences: Chuck Tingle, David Cronenberg, Tony Burgess, William S. Burroughs

Religion: Crazy guy on the bus telling you about Jesus and aliens.

Relationship Status: None of your damn business.

Best Pony is: Fluttershy

Waifu: Frazzle Rock

Husbando: Shining Armor

Best Video Game Evar: Civilization series

Best Video Game RIGHT NOW: Civ VI (obviously), Deathstate

Takes Online Bios Seriously: Sort of, I guess?

A helpful chart by my awesome editor Cerulean, who ought to know.


New Skanky Chapter! · 2:24am 6 hours ago

T The Resurrectionists
Skanky Biscuits acts like a mean pony, but all she wants is for her friends to be safe. Now they’re involved in experiments with near-death experiences! How can she protect them when they’re literally courting death?
Captain_Hairball · 14k words · 65 views

This one has Celestia in it!

Four more chapters. Couple of weeks 'til its done. Man, 20K words feels eternal, how do people write long fics all the time? I mean, my original novel is pushing 80K, but I've been working on that for two years.

Anyway. After that? More porn, more horror, maybe something war or something innocent. Lots of unfinished stories in my pony folder yes sir.

Report Captain_Hairball · 8 views · Story: The Resurrectionists ·

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Extremely Filthy Stories

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Read it Later List (For My Own Reference)

Comments ( 36 )
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*Claps hooves excitedly!*

I’ll blog about it on Monday!!!

It's ready~


I only write the spiciest!!! :rainbowwild:

Whoa there Captain, these spicy clopfics you write are making me feel some kinda way


Sorry. I had a fit of guilt about it being kind'a dubcon and took it down. Maybe a mistake. :ajsleepy:

  • Viewing 32 - 36 of 36
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