• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 16 minutes ago


Weird old horse furry.

Author Bio

Name: Capt. Horatio Herbert Hairball

Occupation: Pornographer, Space Pirate

Age: Older than soap.

Furaffinity: capt_hairball

Deviantart: capthairball

Twitter: @Capthairball

Sexuality: Writesexual

Influences: Chuck Tingle, David Cronenberg, Tony Burgess, William S. Burroughs

Religion: Crazy guy on the bus telling you about Jesus and aliens.

Relationship Status: None of your damn business.

Best Pony is: Fluttershy

Waifu: Frazzle Rock

Husbando: Shining Armor

Best Video Game Evar: Civilization series

Best Video Game RIGHT NOW: Civ VI (obviously), Deathstate

Takes Online Bios Seriously: Sort of, I guess?

Commission Rates

Rates: $.05/word, minimum 3K words.
Payment up front in full via Paypal, non-refundable.

Fetish or cuddle fluff only. No non-con, gore, or bathroom stuff. Commissioner gets one round of edits and I'll post the second draft.

A helpful chart by my awesome editor Cerulean, who ought to know.


Well. That Worked Super Well! · 11:11am April 9th

Feeling as emotionally fragile as I am right now1, I decided that while I needed to publish Night of the Sunflower, I couldn't deal with the drama of watching up-and-downvotes fight. So, I was motivated to Leechblock2 the site and actually stay off it.

This morning, I took off the filter, came here, saw that my story had done decently by my standards3, and answered the overwhelmingly sweet and positive comments, and was happy!

Read More

Latest Stories

Read it Later List (For My Own Reference)

Comments ( 51 )
  • Viewing 47 - 51 of 51

Yeah, I figured that was the case.


No, I have too many of my own projects.

Would you be willing to read a suggestion for something to write, or does it have to be a commission?
I think I know the answer, but I don't think it'll hurt to ask

  • Viewing 47 - 51 of 51
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