• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago


"There was that whole weird thing with the horses." -- Craig Finn, "The Weekenders"

Author Bio

Name: Capt. Horatio Herbert Hairball

Occupation: Pornographer, Space Pirate

Age: Older than soap.

Furaffinity: capt_hairball

Deviantart: capthairball

Twitter: @Capthairball

Sexuality: Writesexual

Influences: Chuck Tingle, David Cronenberg, Tony Burgess, William S. Burroughs

Religion: Crazy guy on the bus telling you about Jesus and aliens.

Relationship Status: None of your damn business.

Best Pony is: Fluttershy

Waifu: Frazzle Rock

Husbando: Shining Armor

Best Video Game Evar: Civilization series

Best Video Game RIGHT NOW: Civ VI (obviously), Deathstate

Takes Online Bios Seriously: Sort of, I guess?

Commission Rates

Rates: $.05/word, minimum 3K words.
Payment up front in full via Paypal, non-refundable.

Fetish or cuddle fluff only. No non-con, gore, or bathroom stuff. Commissioner gets one round of edits and I'll post the second draft.

A helpful chart by my awesome editor Cerulean, who ought to know.


New Chapter Up, and a Nice Request · 10:35pm 8 hours ago

Yup. NEW CHAPTER! Much violence. Big character moments.

Meanwhile. This is going to sound strange. But can no one else please upvote this story? I like the votes where they are.

Latest Stories

Read it Later List (For My Own Reference)

Comments ( 44 )
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By the way, should be interested to know about Lyra, I could send a PM

Thanks for warchingm

Sweet. Welcome to Epic Adventure, High Fantasy, and Sci-Fi!


That’s wonderful to hear! Thank you so much!

  • Viewing 40 - 44 of 44
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