• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Captain_Hairball


Total trash mammal.

More money means more caramel macchiatos. More caramel macchiatos mean more sexy horses. Just so you know.

Click Here to Support my Kinky Loving Clop!

Support Captain Hairball by Buying His Real Book

Check out my first collection of horror stories! Almost as gross as my porn!

• A white hat hacker must move down a dark path to escape the clutches of a dark web torture site.
• The survivor of a slasher massacre is not what she seems.
• A demon must discover the sins of a pair of apparently incorruptible twins, or face damnation himself.
• A mercenary is driven to confront an eldritch horror by the love of a young male prostitute.

This volume from the deeply disturbed Leonard Warren includes five grotesque, surreal short stories and five gruesome flash fictions.

Read it for free on Kindle Unlimited!

Author Bio

Name: Capt. Horatio Herbert Hairball

Occupation: Pornographer, Space Pirate

Age: Older than soap.

Furaffinity: capt_hairball

Sexuality: Writesexual

Influences: Chuck Tingle, David Cronenberg, Tony Burgess, William S. Burroughs

Religion: Crazy guy on the bus telling you about Jesus and aliens.

Relationship Status: None of your damn business.

Best Pony is: Fluttershy

Waifu: Frazzle Rock

Husbando: Shining Armor

Best Video Game Evar: Civilization series

Best Video Game RIGHT NOW: Civ VI (obviously), Deathstate

Takes Online Bios Seriously: Sort of, I guess?

A helpful chart by my awesome editor Cerulean, who ought to know.

Nov
22nd
2017

New Skanky Chapter! · 2:24am 6 hours ago

T The Resurrectionists
Skanky Biscuits acts like a mean pony, but all she wants is for her friends to be safe. Now they’re involved in experiments with near-death experiences! How can she protect them when they’re literally courting death?
Captain_Hairball · 14k words · 65 views

This one has Celestia in it!

Four more chapters. Couple of weeks 'til its done. Man, 20K words feels eternal, how do people write long fics all the time? I mean, my original novel is pushing 80K, but I've been working on that for two years.

Anyway. After that? More porn, more horror, maybe something war or something innocent. Lots of unfinished stories in my pony folder yes sir.

Report Captain_Hairball · 8 views · Story: The Resurrectionists ·

Latest Stories

Watching

252 members follow Captain_Hairball

Captain_Hairball follows 34 members

Groups

Extremely Filthy Stories

My Best Stories

  • Never Have I Ever When Rarity throws a client get-together at Canterlot Boutique, nerdy geologist Frazzle Rock sees an opportunity to confess her feelings for the older mare. by Captain_Hairball 7,580 words · 190 views · 19 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Why There Are So Many White Unicorns in Equestria Nineteen year old Princess Celestia can’t stop worrying about death. She tries to distract herself by banging every handsome stallion she can find, but her suitors are never around, and her resentful little sister is up to something. by Captain_Hairball 9,272 words · 1,214 views · 95 likes · 13 dislikes

Top Favorites

  • Home is for the Weak The princess of the sun and a gimp orphan sit in a cardboard box. by Pickleless 22,660 words · 7,756 views · 1,529 likes · 34 dislikes
  • A Nightmare in Ponyville Screwball and the Ponyville kids must overcome Discord in their worst nightmares! by Paleo Prints 48,468 words · 5,739 views · 261 likes · 12 dislikes

More Favorites

Read it Later List (For My Own Reference)

Comments ( 36 )
  • Viewing 32 - 36 of 36

2521845

*Claps hooves excitedly!*

I’ll blog about it on Monday!!!

It's ready~

2493219

I only write the spiciest!!! :rainbowwild:

Whoa there Captain, these spicy clopfics you write are making me feel some kinda way

2487506

Sorry. I had a fit of guilt about it being kind'a dubcon and took it down. Maybe a mistake. :ajsleepy:

  • Viewing 32 - 36 of 36
Login or register to comment