• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • online

Captain_Hairball

"Hot but gross." — Cerulean Starlight

Captain_Hairball Joined 20th Oct, 2015 · Online

Author Bio

Name: Capt. Horatio Herbert Hairball

Occupation: Pornographer, Space Pirate

Age: Older than soap.

Furaffinity: capt_hairball

Sexuality: Writesexual

Influences: Chuck Tingle, David Cronenberg, Tony Burgess, William S. Burroughs

Religion: Crazy guy on the bus telling you about Jesus and aliens.

Relationship Status: None of your damn business.

Best Pony is: Fluttershy

Waifu: Frazzle Rock

Husbando: Shining Armor

Best Video Game Evar: Civilization series

Best Video Game RIGHT NOW: Civ VI (obviously), Deathstate

Takes Online Bios Seriously: Sort of, I guess?

A helpful chart by my awesome editor Cerulean, who ought to know.

Nov
14th
2018

Beta Readers Needed for Equestria MILFs III: Weekend at Fluttershy's · 3:02pm Wednesday

So I'm going to run with what I have in terms of plot, and just post this sucker. No reason not to do it right, though. I'm aiming for a deadline of... some time next week? Maybe the week after? I'm going to run into Thanksgiving somewhere in there but I need to think about what I'm doing about cover art. My 'Great Dane sized dog Spike' is a rare interpretation (100% author appeal) so I'll probably have to draw my own.

Read More

Report Captain_Hairball · 30 views · Story: Equestria MILFs 2 — When Twilight Comes · #readers needed #EqM #dogfucking

Latest Stories
9

Watching

325 users follow Captain_Hairball
Captain_Hairball follows 36 users

Groups
286

Extremely Filthy Stories

I love writing filthy, kinky, bisexual clop.

Smart Cookie University Stories

  • The Resurrectionists Skanky Biscuits acts like a mean pony, but all she wants is for her friends to be safe. Now they’re involved in experiments with near-death experiences! How can she protect them when they’re literally courting death? by Captain_Hairball 24,484 words · 14 · 1
My original setting — Rarity's alma mater, a world-class university located in freezing cold Whinnyappolis.

My Best Stories

  • Trains, Tesseracts, and Alicorns Twilight Velvet and Princess Cadence struggle with a long train ride, a natural disaster, a portal to oblivion, and their own awkward relationship. Which challenge will be most difficult? That last one. by Captain_Hairball 5,970 words · 56 · 3
  • The Thing in the Sub-Sub-Sub-Basement Maud Pie and Frazzle Rock are called in to investigate a problem deep in the bowels of Canterlot Palace. What lies beyond the doors marked “speak ‘friend’ and enter”? by Captain_Hairball 2,559 words · 19 · 0
  • Perfectly Not Perfect Rainbow Dash has pulled a muscle in her wing. Not a big deal, until she tries to fly home on it in bad weather and nearly dies. Fluttershy saves her, carries her home, and takes care of her. by Captain_Hairball 1,690 words · 49 · 1
  • Why There Are So Many White Unicorns in Equestria Nineteen-year-old Princess Celestia can’t stop worrying about death. She tries to distract herself by banging every handsome stallion she can find, but her suitors are never around, and her resentful little sister is up to something. by Captain_Hairball 8,944 words · 105 · 14
Well, the ones I like best, anyway.

Seminal Favorites

I read these stories either before or very soon after I started writing fanfic, and they remain an inspiration.

Read it Later List (For My Own Reference)
278

Comments ( 41 )
  • Viewing 37 - 41 of 41
Captain_Hairball
Captain_Hairball #40 · September 27th · · ·
Reply

2651343

That’s wonderful to hear! Thank you so much!

Ambrosia_Firehoof13
Ambrosia_Firehoof13 #39 · September 27th · · ·
Reply

Good lord...in the last two weeks I have actually gotten to take enough time out of work to finish reading the last of your 38 stories. Amazing work. Per usual.

Captain_Hairball
Captain_Hairball #38 · March 6th · · ·
Reply

2575119

No. I have too many unfinished ideas of my own, sorry!

Alphamon_Ouryuken
Alphamon_Ouryuken #37 · March 5th · · ·
Reply

Do you take requests?

  • Viewing 37 - 41 of 41
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