• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

Captain_Hairball


Harkness compliant since 2015.

T
Source

Teenage Derpy Hooves has gotten pregnant, and she doesn’t know what to do. How will her coltfriend react? What will her friends and family say? Can she be a good mom? She wants to be a good mom, but she doesn’t have a job and she can’t even see straight!
She’s heard that a wise mare lives in the Everfree Forest. Better yet, a wise mare that nopony talks to. She sets off into the winter woods seeking her. But can she even make it there alive?

Rated T for discussion of unplanned pregnancy.

Jinglemas 2019 story for Freglz.

Edited by Scoots.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 22 )

A very nice story!

Aaaaaw this was really cute!!!

You wrote Zecora's rhyme perfectly! This was a very sweet and magical tale and I very much enjoyed it!

Now that's a good Zecora! And an absolutely wonderful Derpy. Very well written sir, congratulations!

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Thank you! I labored hard on Zecora's dialogue especially!

10001236
You're welcome! And getting Zecora right isn't easy.

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Eeyup, she needs meter as well as rhyme, lotsa guys don't do that.

This was a really nice story, and you did a fantastic job writing both Zecora and Derpy.

Wow! Brilliant. Really hits the feels!

Even though I personally feel the story could have a little more to it and carry even more 'umph', I highly enjoy the premise and it has influenced my headcanon. Congratulations on that.

VShuffler42

Yay! I swear, there is too few fics with Zecora that are good. I loved this one.

Love it. That's all I have to say. Love. It.

The stallion had an hourglass and a ball of twine and was clearly trying to explain something

A sweet little story. Zecora was especially well written. :twilightsmile:

:fluttercry:this is absolutely adorable:pinkiesad2:

"In Gilead far I hawked my fine balms"
.
Is there—is there balm in Gilead?—tell me—tell me, I implore!
.
.
Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?

Nice subtle literary reference there... among others. :D

Scant few can pass the zebra test
But this one was among the best.
And this is more than just discourse.
She reassures my favorite horse.
One stronger than she ever knew
Until she looked into the brew.
A tale to warm the hearts of all.
Merry Jinglemas, Hairball.

Humm first time we referenced a grey Pegasus foal Derpy helped with the Ponyville cart race.

This was Beautiful I will admit I enjoyed it quite a bit

Sorry it's taken so long for me to reply -- I read it the day it came out, but I wasn't in a good headspace to comment.

When I requested these two characters, I also asked for something "fresh like peppermint, but sweeter and fluffier."

This isn't exactly sweet and fluffy, but it's definitely fresh. And while there are some general writing points I'd raise, I don't feels it's appropriate and genuinely appreciate the story being told here. You've done Derpy and Zecora a service. I'm sure it must've been tricky, but thank you for giving some much-needed attention to a poner and a zeeb who deserve all the love this fandom can give.

As many have already said, getting Zecora right isn't easy. Even the show falters in some instances. As I read her lines aloud, I think I might have added maybe five words, total, to fit the meter I heard. That's a great accomplishment for a writer.

I want more of this, author. I want these two to become friends. Zecora's stories and wisdom would provide a strong foundation for the life lessons Derpy is going to have to teach her little pony bean (which is an adorably descriptive way to put it!).

10099108

Well thank you! I don't know if I'll write any more of this story -- I have a hard time writing long stories without sex and violence in them -- but I was happy to get the chance to write this.

Maybe Zecora and Derps as Dr. Hooves companions? Now there's a good idea. :trixieshiftright:

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