• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

Captain_Hairball


Harkness compliant since 2015.

T

Nineteen-year-old Princess Celestia, fresh from her and Luna’s victory over Discord, can’t stop worrying about death. She tries to distract herself by banging every handsome stallion she can find, but her suitors are never around when she needs them, and her resentful little sister is up to something. What's a teenage princess to do?

Sex tag for mature themes, immature jokes, and (barely) off-stage frolics. Contains no clop.

Written for the Imposing Sovereigns contest.

Cover art source.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 47 )

Celestia’s fist foal’s flawless ultramarine eyes.

Should be "first".

In all honesty, this does explain a lot...

And the white unicorns shall blot out the sun!

Hey-ho, missed a closing bracket here:

It was going to be agony[/i waiting

Most of the chapter is in italics.

Hot damn, did not see that fish surprise coming. Plot threads!

Each was made of a different material — one was horn, the other ivory.

Heh. I understood that reference.

In any case, this was certainly an interesting journey, at times running a hair's thickness away from a higher rating. I'm not sure if the en medias res opening did anything for the story, and the title spoilers definitely didn't help, but there are some interesting tidbits to be had.

Often, though, those tidbits are much like the ponyfish, still unformed. They aren't key to the story, but I'm still left with numerous questions. You captured the feeling of a young Celestia in over her head well, but the tale overall still feels somewhat underdeveloped. Still, thank you for this and best of luck in the contest.

Well, this is an interesting chapter.

8024056

Thanks! Yeah, the horn and ivory thing is pretty old, apparently, but I got it from Sandman. :twilightblush:

Well that took an unexpected turn. And the end was sad too.

Well that explains everything!

8024056 What is it referencifying exactly?

This was silly. Funnish. And silly.

And I can't decide if Celestia's baby is supposed to be a Rarity joke, or a nazi joke. I mean, white, blue eyed - if it's Rarity, emphasizing the purple mane would be better.

8026300
See here for more on the gates of horn and ivory and their relation to dreams.

8026300

Netiher. It's saying it's Clean Sweep's kid. I was just ignoring the human racial implications of the white fur, but maybe "white with blue eyes" is too much and I should change that. :trixieshiftright:

8026541 Ah! Yea. I missed his coat colors, etc. But yea, I'm sure it wasn't intentional but, well, white & blue in regards to color & eyes does carry kinda unfortunate historical baggage. Bleh!

Hitler. Such a horrible asshat he's sabotaging the ending of pony stories 70 years after he died.

Angsty Celestia worrying about death?

Why do I like this so much...?

Wow. That was... amazing to be honest. I had not expected this to be so powerful of a read. Teenage Celestia was a treat, and seeing how she ended up growing up to become the maternal Celestia we all know and love was beautiful.

So wait... does that mean that... Rarity is also one of Celestia's descendants?

Either way, I loved this story. I was not expecting it, but it is definitely going into my special folder.

Your story took me THERE...

If you’re concerned about your legacy… well, you’ve already done great deeds. Perhaps you could write a book? So ponies can read your words after you die?

Later:

8027461

Best damn movie.

Best damn WWII general!

8027044
8026688

You know what? The Rarity thing was totally synchronicity, but I'm owning it. When I get a chance, I'll go back and make her dad and her have purple manes. :derpytongue2: If for no other reason than that I like my interpretation of this period, and if I ever go back to it (maybe for the Crystal War I, Equestrian Civil War, or Jane Austin but with ponies), Celestia Jr. there will make a good protagonist.

I like how nobody noticed and/or cared that Peaceful Pumpkin is Fluttershy's past life, but two people realized Celestia Jr. looks like Rarity and I didn't even notice. :rainbowlaugh: Also I need to have Rarity find out she's a direct lineal descendant of Celestia and a janitor. Just for the look on her face! :trixieshiftright:

Celestia giggled. “Sister! I know I’ve become very liberated recently, but I have to draw the line there.”
Luna’s eyes flashed with rage. “Sister! Can you get your mind out of the gutter for one moment? This is serious!”

:trollestia:: "Never!"

If she would invent a gender-swap spell she could make foals much faster...

Meh, better not.
Nice story, by the way.

8027553

Thanks! Also thanks for the plot bunny. :moustache:

8027482 Wait... Peaceful Pumpkin was Fluttershy's former life?!

Holy shit how did I miss that?!

8028538

Well, I based him on my interpretation of Butterscotch, so it might not be 100% obvious. :trixieshiftleft:

Ah, Scotchie. <3<3<3

>Gate of ivory and horn
I see what you did there.

I came here for silly royal shenanigans, and instead I got soul-searching angst with a sprinkling of world-building. I'm actually okay with this.

Found a repeated word you may want to fix.

The other other thing is that we only live in the present.

She is going to have some many babies... :facehoof:

One being Twilight and M6 sent them to the future by mistake :rainbowlaugh:

8073930

If nothing else she's definitely a direct descendant in this headcanon/continuity.

All of them did.

You killed me

8127427

OMFG! :D I can never read reviews, even positive ones, without a day or two to calm down about it, but I'm glad you liked it! :raritywink: Thanks!

8127441 VERY WELCOME, AND GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT, THANK FOR THE GREAT STORY.

Also I'm to damn lazy to fix that after all that typing.... stupid caps lock key.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh, that was good fun! :D

Heir.
The word is Heir.

8161657

Is there a typo? What chapter. What did I put instead, if you remember?

8162202
It's right there at the end of the epilogue, which is the chapter in which I posted the comment. You put "air" instead.

8164120

Air to the throne. LOL. There's a fart joke in there somewhere.

Fixed. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

Celestia giggled, and gave him her best princess-next-door-smile.

Lol!

This is a pretty cool interpretation of young Celestia. She is angsty and teenager-y as all heck in some ways, yet she (and Luna) are already incredibly skilled in the arts of governance.

“They are mine to protect. And I love them. All of them. So much.”

This is Celestia.






Also totally notices the Fluttershy ancestor!

8398651

Also totally notices the Fluttershy ancestor!

Yay!

“The Princess,” sad Phalanx, “is too much mare for any one stallion.”

Clean sweep sighed. “I do believe in distributing resources fairly.”

“Like precious, precious princess booty,” said Pumpkin, smiling dreamily.

:rainbowlaugh: I lost it.

8660673

Ha! I forgot that part! I slay me! :rainbowwild:

Seriously: thank you! This comment made my morning.

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