After her humiliating encounter with Luna, she bathed and extracted the promise of another foursome from her paramours. Then Celestia went down to see Star Swirl. She stepped into his lab to find him reorganizing his collection of pickled manticore parts. Luna was already here, lying on a cushion in the corner, reading a book.
“You wanted to talk to me, Star Swirl?”
Star Swirl looked up from labeling a jar of what Celestia suspected were either appendices or penises. ”I did?”
“Actually, I did,” said Luna, from behind her. She slammed her book closed and stood up. “Star Swirl the Bearded, as Princess of the Night, I demand that you rescind the Princesshood of my sister.“
“What?!” said Star Swirl. “I can’t do that! And if I could, I wouldn’t. I’m your guardian, not your… oh bother.” Star Swirl had let the jar fall from his hooves. Celestia caught it with her magic. She didn’t want to have to help clean those things up.
“Luna!” she said. “What’s gotten into you?”
Luna stomped. “You’re irresponsible! You’re frivolous! You steal all the cake from the kitchens! You introduce major legislation without consulting with me! And to top it all off, you’re conspiring against me!”
“Conspiring against you?” Celestia tossed the jar to Star Swirl, and stomped around to face Luna. “Why would I do that?”
Luna loomed from below, glaring at her over the tops of her spectacles. “You’ve been meeting in secret with an army legate, a priest of the Old Ways, and a known pro-democracy firebrand!”
Celestia looked at Luna sideways. “Pro-democracy what now?”
“Clean Sweep! He just spent a month in jail for distributing subversive leaflets!”
Oh. So that was where he’d been. “Oh for buck’s sake!” shouted Celestia.
“Do you deny it?” said Luna.
Celestia stepped up until she was nose to nose with her sister. She could loom from above quite well, when she had a mind to. “Phalanx is a loyal soldier who would never betray Equestria! Not even at his Princess’s command!”
“His record is spotless,” admitted Luna. “But what about the priest? Do I need to remind you of the excesses of the Old Ways? The orgies? The pony sacrifices?”
“Peaceful Pumpkin is a pacifist. He’d never sacrifice anypony!” At least, she hoped he wouldn’t. She hadn’t asked. Celestia felt like orgies were a tradition that was ripe for a revival, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up. “As for democracy, I hadn’t thought about it, but maybe it is time we gave our subjects more responsibility. We could at least let them elect their own mayors.”
“Democracy,” spat Luna, “leads to anarchy. Or tyranny. And if you weren’t conspiring, what were you doing with these stallions? You’re telling me you had them over just for sex?”
“For Equus’ sake, Luna, is that so hard for you to understand? What do you think healthy mares of marriageable age do with handsome stallions in the privacy of their own rooms?” Star Swirl was suddenly very interested in his collection.
Luna glared at her. “So. You’re a floozie, then.”
Rage boiled in Celestia’s chest. “I am not a floozie; you are a prude. And if you were more interested in what ponies liked to do at night, maybe you’d be more popular.”
Luna’s cheeks were flooded with tears. She fled Star Swirl’s lab in a flash of indigo light. Celestia stared at the empty space where her sister had been. That had come out harsher than she’d intended. She felt terrible. She’d feel worse in time, when, rightly or not, she’d trace what would happen between her and her sister to this moment. But that was still many years away.
Star Swirl cleared his throat. “You should include your sister more. And you should be more gentle with her. It’s lonely at night.”
Celestia scrubbed at her eyes with her hooves. “What do I do?”
Star Swirl shrugged. “I’m an expert at magic, not friendship. Go talk to her, I suppose.”
“She’s still going to be mad at me!” said Celestia.
“She’s not going to get any less mad unless you apologize, young mare,” said Star Swirl.
Celestia blinked. “But she accused me of treason!”
“Teenagers,” said Star Swirl dryly, “often say foolish things when they are upset. Oh, but before you go, there’s something we need to talk about. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you some very personal questions.”
———
Celestia sat in front of Luna’s doors. Each was made of a different material — one was horn, the other ivory. They had a lovely moon-and-stars motif carved in them. It would be a shame to knock and risk scuffing such magnificent workmanship.
“I know you’re out there,” said Luna from inside.
“I’m sorry I was mean to you,” said Celestia. “Can I come in?”
Luna’s ivory door creaked open a little. “You’d better.”
It was dark inside her room. The windows were heavily curtained, and there were no lights. After a few seconds, Celestia could make out her sister sitting on her bed.
“I should have known better than to accuse you,” said Luna. “I supposed I just wanted your attention. I am sorry.”
Celestia climbed up on the bed and hugged Luna. “It’s all right. I’ve been very wrapped up in being a princess. I just assumed if weren’t saying anything, you were fine.”
“Are you still… troubled? About…”
Celestia nodded. “Death. Yes. I guess I’m learning not to think about it as much. Talking to Pumpkin has helped a little, but I can’t believe a lot of the things he teaches.”
“Sister,” said Luna, taking Celestia’s hooves in hers. “I didn’t tell you, but when I became an alicorn, I discovered that I have the power to walk in dreams. I’ve been exploring, and there’s something you need to see. Will you sleep with me now?”
Celestia giggled. “Sister! I know I’ve become very liberated recently, but I have to draw the line there.”
Luna’s eyes flashed with rage. “Sister! Can you get your mind out of the gutter for one moment? This is serious!”
“Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. Anyway, yes, I could use a nap.”
———
The checkerboard hills flashed past beneath them. Discord’s twisted minions were closing in. Horrible warped creatures, bristling with bone spikes, or melted together into giants the size of castles. Many of them had once been ponies.
Storm Wind’s pegasi banked off to intercept the enemies closing in from their flanks, and the sisters dove low, following Phalanx and his soldiers as they crashed through the line of abominations protecting Discord.
Celestia stopped in midair, pausing to shoot beams of magical sleep at the creatures closing in around her ponies. She couldn’t bear to kill, but she had to help.
“Go!” shouted Phalanx from the ground beneath her.
“You’ll die!” she replied.
“It doesn’t matter! You have to face Discord! Go!” Then a chattering thing with swords for legs cut him clean in half. No. That hadn’t really happened. Was this a dream? Weeping, she turned and flew towards Discord. The Lord of Chaos, red in tooth and claw, watched from his throne.
“Ho ho!” he chuckled. “This is so much fun. Thank you for the new toys to play with. I do so enjoy listening to their screams while I remake them.”
“Playtime is over, Discord!” said Celestia, unlatching her saddlebag.
Luna tapped her on the shoulder. “We already did this, sister.”
Celestia frowned as she floated the elements out. They were the wrong colors. And why was one of hers shaped like a balloon? “We did, didn’t we? It was awful. I don’t want to see it again.”
Luna nodded. “You come to this battle often. I think you have unfinished business here.”
Celestia narrowed her eyes. “You’ve been spying on my dreams?”
Luna shrugged. ”It is easiest to visit the dreams of those closest to you. You also dream of praise, and glory. Which concerns me.”
“All right,” said Discord, “you two are confusing me. You need to stop it right now. I’m supposed to be the weird one here.”
Celestia looked sideways at him. “Luna, I know he’s not real, but can we turn him to stone anyway? He gives me the creeps.”
“Quite,” said Luna. Prismatic light lanced out from the elements. Discord died laughing.
And then they were standing on a cloud, racing through a blue sky. Blue everywhere; there was no ground that Celestia could see. She decided not to look down again.
“I discovered my powers slowly, and by accident at first. Oneiromancy is earth pony magic, so it is a new thing to me. As is augury, but we’ll get to that,” said Luna.
Celestia could see a dot on the horizon. Or… there wasn’t really a horizon. At head level, she guessed? Looking straight ahead was making her vertiginous, too. Maybe if she looked straight up.
“The realm of dreams runs deep,” said Luna, “and… Sister, what are you looking at?”
“Nothing. just trying not to toss my cookies,” said Celestia. Looking up really wasn’t helping.
“Well you can stop it; we’re almost there.”
Celestia looked forward. There was Mount Foal, hanging in space, the Canter river pouring off the side into the abyss. And there, on the side, was Canterlot — not the city as it was now, ruined by Discord, with years of work ahead to clear melted stone and dead bodies from the streets, but the Canterlot of her childhood, perfect and gleaming. And yet…
“As I was saying,” said Luna, “it took me some time to find the realm of the dead. But now that I know how to get here, it’s a relatively simple trip.”
As they drew close, Celestia saw that the gleaming city wasn’t gleaming at all. Its colors were dulled, and it was too quiet. Hundreds of ponies moved through its streets, as she remembered, but their coats were dull and their eyes looked straight ahead without blinking. “This is awful,” she said, as their cloud sunk into the pavement.
“It is, isn’t it?” said Luna.
“Is this really what happens to us?” She said. She waved a hoof in front of a passing pony’s eyes. He ignored her, and walked on. Her hoof bounced off his forehead, and he grunted, but didn’t even turn his head.
“Yes,” said Luna. “We go on, but not in a way we would choose. Perhaps what Pumpkin said is true, and we are reborn one day. I’ll have to tag a few of the dead for observation.”
Celestia gasped. “Mom. Dad.” And she took off running.
She could hear Luna cursing at her from behind.
———
She found them in their chambers at the top of the Sun Tower. They were playing chess.
“Check,” said her mother, scooting her queen forward.
“And out of check,” said her father, moving his bishop in front of the queen. “Mate in three, I believe.”
“What nonsense. Check again.” She looked up from the board. “Celestia! Luna said she’d bring you. We’re so happy to see you!”
Celestia rushed over to hug and nuzzle them both. Luna arrived while they were still greeting each other. “I can’t blame you,” she said. “This was the first place I came, too.”
“She brought so much news!” said her Father. “We’re proud of you both.”
“You’ll make such good queens!” said her Mother.
“Princesses, actually. We chose to keep the title of Princess,” said Celestia, ignoring the throat-slicing motions Luna was making with her hoof. “We feel it’s less… ostentatious.”
“Well, that’s disappointing,” said her father. “Checkmate, Dear.”
“Oh, bother. You always win. Another game?” said her Mother.
“Let’s,” said her father.
Celestia watched them as they reset the board. “What’s it like, being… you know?”
“Dead?” said her mother. “You don’t need to beat around the bush, dear. We can handle it. It’s very easy to handle being dead, actually.”
“Nothing ever changes,” said her father. “No surprises. Even very surprising things aren’t surprising.”
“Like being visited by your still-living daughters. I feel that ought to come as a shock, but I’m taking it in stride,” said her mother. They continued playing as they talked, the tap of chess pieces punctuating their words.
Celestia lowered her head. “I have more news. News for you, too, Luna, actually. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with a bastard.”
Luna turned a noticeably paler shade of indigo.
“That’s nice,” said her mother. “I always wanted grandchildren.”
“How do you know?” said Luna.
“Star Swirl was concerned. He checked, before I came to find you.” Celestia cast the spell he’d used, and an image of a tiny blob of white and pink hovered in front of them. “There it is. It doesn’t even look like a pony, does it? But it’s my little ponyfish.”
“What a precious little embryo,” said her mother. “It looks rather like you did, at its age. Check, dear.”
“I think not,” said her father. “Mate in three. Yes. Lovely foal, though.”
“Are you going to keep it?” said Luna.
“I don’t know,” said Celestia. “I’m really scared.”
“Please do,” said her father. “Bastard or no, it would be a wonderful addition to our family.”
“We can’t wait to see it,” said her mother. “Though I suppose it would be better if we didn’t for a very long time. Check again.”
“But what will I do with a foal?” said Celestia.
“Love it. Cherish it,” said her mother.
“And send for your army of nurses and tutors when it gets to be too much to handle,” said her father. “That’s what we did with you two. Checkmate.”
“Bother it,” said her mother. “Another game?”
Celestia watched them reset the board and start playing again. She was no chess expert; she barely knew how to play. But she could see that they were making the same moves they had at the beginning of the last game. Her father was setting the same trap, and her mother was falling for it again. Nothing ever changed here. She kissed them each on the cheek, and turned to Luna. “Sister, I want to go home.”
“Very well,” she said. And everything went dark.
“As I mentioned earlier,” said Luna’s voice, echoing in the darkness, “I’ve also found I possess the earth pony gift of augury. I can see that I have set something dark in motion. I will struggle against it, but I will fail. I will try to keep my distance, to keep you safe. But I want you to know that whatever happens, I will always be your sister, and that on the longest day of the thousandth year, I will once again stand by your side as a friend.”
Celestia tried to ask what in Equus’ name she was talking about, but she couldn’t move her mouth. She forced herself awake, willing her eyes open only to find that Luna had left the room. She put her hoof on her belly and wept into one of her sister’s pillows until it was soggy.