• Member Since 20th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Captain_Hairball


dead horse; please beat me . he/her

T
Source

When secret agent Sweetie Drops is captured by the Mare with the Emerald Hands and taken to her secret underwater base, she thinks she knows how things will go. She’ll be imprisoned. She’ll nearly lose all hope, then she’ll find the inner strength she needs to defeat the villain in a climactic battle.

But then Lyra makes it weird.

There are no series tags for James Bond or Austin Powers, but I'm sure you'll get the idea. :raritywink:

Second Place winner in Bike's Lyrabon contest.

Chapters (1)
T

Frazzle Rock can't believe her good luck to have attracted the interest of a young, beautiful mare like Izzy Moonbow. But when an encounter with a mystical gem at the Equestrian museum brings back a traumatic memory from her past, will she find the strength to be vulnerable to her new lover?

Totally fluffy, low-stakes datefic. AU for Frazzle and Izzy existing in the same historical period. Rated teen for references to alcohol, dirty jokes, and mild eroticism.

Chapters (2)
T
Source

"I cut, you pick" is the time-honored rule for sharing treats. But what if a pony is sharing love with two others? When Maud brings one big brownie home to Trixie and Starlight, they have to figure that out.

Rated T for heated kissing. Written for the StarTrixMaud Shipping Contest, based on a prompt by my friend Hummingbird.

Chapters (2)
E
Source

Shining Armor spends some time with his daughter while he is recovering from a war wound. They play chess, and talk about some thoughts the game brings up.

Written for the Father's Day Not-a-Contest challenge

Chapters (2)
T

Sunset asked Wallflower on a date, and Wallflower is in a panic. What could the coolest girl at Canterlot High want with her? What do they have in common?

But it may not even matter, because Sunset is late and Wallflower suspects a trap.

Sweet and sour slice of life romance. T-rated for occasional profanity, jokes about spanking and mind control fetish, and mention of some films you definitely don’t want to Google. There isn't an archive warning for depression and negative self-talk, but there's lots of that. No self harm tho.

Wallflower's dress is based on this. Thanks to My Little Pastafarian for letting me use the design and for editing my description of it. Check out #ponymakeover on DA for more wonderful pony dress designs.

And thanks as always to Scoots for letting me constantly bug them with questions about how to word correctly.

Entry in Scampy's SunFlower Shipping Contest. Winner of Lord Camembert's Commendation for Excellence in Gay Giggles (Gayggles).

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Teenage Derpy Hooves has gotten pregnant, and she doesn’t know what to do. How will her coltfriend react? What will her friends and family say? Can she be a good mom? She wants to be a good mom, but she doesn’t have a job and she can’t even see straight!
She’s heard that a wise mare lives in the Everfree Forest. Better yet, a wise mare that nopony talks to. She sets off into the winter woods seeking her. But can she even make it there alive?

Rated T for discussion of unplanned pregnancy.

Jinglemas 2019 story for Freglz.

Edited by Scoots.

Chapters (1)
T

The Storm King has defeated the reigning Princesses and put Twilight Sparkle to flight. Now more than ever, Equestria needs a wise and selfless leader. Instead, they have Blueblood.

Trapped in Canterlot Palace, Blueblood must lead the ponies held captive there to safety. Can he rise above his failings and overcome Tempest Shadow and her army of raiju? Or will he and the ponies under his protection go down like a flaming airship?

An entry for FoME’s Imposing Sovereigns II contest. The prompt was for Blueblood and War.

Chapters (3)
T
Source

Twilight Sparkle exiles war criminal Tempest Shadow to the human world for Tempest's own protection. When she arrives, she discovers that the mirror has chosen to ‘translate’ her broken horn as a missing right hand. But that’s the least of her problems.

Human World Pinkie Pie and Rarity have agreed to take care of her. Together, they set off on a road trip to the best theme park in the world. But it’s a long drive down. In the Human World, Tempest is safe from the Storm King’s minions, and from pony reprisals. But she isn’t safe from her greatest enemy: herself.

Warning: A named canon character dies in this. At the beginning. He’s the only one, I promise. No, wait, also Grubber is apparently dead to? Not sure why I did that.

Sex tag for sensuality and not-really-described nudity. Not porn.

Written for the Villain Exchange Program contest

Chapters (6)
T
Source

Pinkie Pie feeds Fluttershy some pony-bacon cupcakes. Fluttershy knows exactly what they are, and she likes them anyway. They decide to become vigilante cannibal serial killers, as you do. But have they bitten off more than they can chew? And what will happen when Twilight finds out?

Based super-loosely on KingMoriarty's Horsemeat for the Springtime-Sequel-Slash-Sandbox Switcheroo contest. Gore and violence are low-key in execution, but super disturbing in concept.

Edited by Scoots.

Chapters (1)
E

Twilight Velvet has never really understood her daughter-in-law. Princess of Love? That seems a little shallow, even to a secret romance novelist. So when they end up sharing a train to the Crystal Empire for Hearth's Warming, things are a little bit awkward. When the journey is faced with disasters natural and supernatural, their fragile relationship will be tested to its breaking point.

Edited by Scoots, Olden Brony, and Zontargs

Cover art by author.

Chapters (2)