• Published 15th Mar 2017
  • 2,586 Views, 47 Comments

Why There Are So Many White Unicorns in Equestria - Captain_Hairball



Nineteen-year-old Princess Celestia can’t stop worrying about death. She tries to distract herself by banging every handsome stallion she can find, but her suitors are never around, and her resentful little sister is up to something.

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Epilogue

For the next eleven months, Celestia had to add frequent checkups to her already busy schedule. She was asked, by everypony, to rest and be careful. And she did, and she was, though it pained her. Star Swirl, meanwhile, did some research into the matter of alicorn lifespans, and could find no sign of natural aging in the sisters beyond the process of sexual development in her or her sister. Celestia felt, in retrospect, rather silly to have worried about it so much.

When the time came for her child to be born, the foal was stuck in a breach position, and Star Swirl had to summon a surgeon to cut it out of Celestia’s belly. When the nurse held it up, screaming and covered in gore, it looked like a little goblin, and Celestia was sure she’d made a terrible mistake in carrying it to term. But then they washed it and brought it back for her to hold. Clean and wrapped in its tiny blanket, it was a little miracle — a beautiful white unicorn mare, with a face that reminded her of her mother’s. She kissed it on the nose, and suddenly she understood everything.

“No wings,” observed Luna.

“Probably for the best,” said Star Swirl. “An alicorn foal would probably be difficult to handle.”

“My subjects are my children, too, aren’t they?” said Celestia.

“What?” said Luna, setting down her coffee.

“It’s the painkillers talking,” said Star Swirl.

Luna nodded, and started drinking her coffee again.

“They are mine to protect. And I love them. All of them. So much.”

“Especially the stallions,” said Luna dryly.

Celestia had nothing to stay to that. Her little foal had, in fact, had rather a bumpy ride inside her belly. She had probably been in a breach position because she had wanted to get away from all the pounding. “That is why I’m going to have as many children I possibly can.”

Star Swirl made a choking noise. Luna spat out a mouthful of coffee.

“If alicorns live as long as Star Swirl thinks we do, I’m going to need a reminder of the importance of my duty from time to time. And what better reminder than looking out over my assembled subjects, and seeing hundreds of white unicorns amongst them?”

“Hundreds?” said Star Swirl weakly.

The nameless little foal had worked her hoof out of her swaddling, and begun gnawing toothlessly on it. Oh. She had a smart one. “We’ll need to start a school for them, of course. ‘Celestia and Star Swirl’s School for Gifted Unicorns’. Because of course all of my babies will be gifted, won’t they, little one? Yes they will, yes they will. Who’s a smart foal?”

The foal stared at her blankly, and mashed its hoof into its nose.

“But… who will you take for a husband?” stammered Star Swirl.

“Please not the janitor. Please, please not the janitor,” said Luna.

Celestia laughed. “What do I need a husband for? To create legitimate heirs to our presumably immortal reign? Can you imagine the trouble that would cause?”

Star Swirl and Luna raised such a fuss that the nurse made them leave the room, leaving Celestia alone with her child. The sunlight moved across them both as the morning went on, and sparkled in Celestia’s first foal’s flawless ultramarine eyes.

Comments ( 31 )

Celestia’s fist foal’s flawless ultramarine eyes.

Should be "first".

In all honesty, this does explain a lot...

And the white unicorns shall blot out the sun!

Each was made of a different material — one was horn, the other ivory.

Heh. I understood that reference.

In any case, this was certainly an interesting journey, at times running a hair's thickness away from a higher rating. I'm not sure if the en medias res opening did anything for the story, and the title spoilers definitely didn't help, but there are some interesting tidbits to be had.

Often, though, those tidbits are much like the ponyfish, still unformed. They aren't key to the story, but I'm still left with numerous questions. You captured the feeling of a young Celestia in over her head well, but the tale overall still feels somewhat underdeveloped. Still, thank you for this and best of luck in the contest.

8024056

Thanks! Yeah, the horn and ivory thing is pretty old, apparently, but I got it from Sandman. :twilightblush:

Well that explains everything!

8024056 What is it referencifying exactly?

This was silly. Funnish. And silly.

And I can't decide if Celestia's baby is supposed to be a Rarity joke, or a nazi joke. I mean, white, blue eyed - if it's Rarity, emphasizing the purple mane would be better.

8026300
See here for more on the gates of horn and ivory and their relation to dreams.

8026300

Netiher. It's saying it's Clean Sweep's kid. I was just ignoring the human racial implications of the white fur, but maybe "white with blue eyes" is too much and I should change that. :trixieshiftright:

8026541 Ah! Yea. I missed his coat colors, etc. But yea, I'm sure it wasn't intentional but, well, white & blue in regards to color & eyes does carry kinda unfortunate historical baggage. Bleh!

Hitler. Such a horrible asshat he's sabotaging the ending of pony stories 70 years after he died.

Wow. That was... amazing to be honest. I had not expected this to be so powerful of a read. Teenage Celestia was a treat, and seeing how she ended up growing up to become the maternal Celestia we all know and love was beautiful.

So wait... does that mean that... Rarity is also one of Celestia's descendants?

Either way, I loved this story. I was not expecting it, but it is definitely going into my special folder.

Your story took me THERE...

8027461

Best damn movie.

Best damn WWII general!

8027044
8026688

You know what? The Rarity thing was totally synchronicity, but I'm owning it. When I get a chance, I'll go back and make her dad and her have purple manes. :derpytongue2: If for no other reason than that I like my interpretation of this period, and if I ever go back to it (maybe for the Crystal War I, Equestrian Civil War, or Jane Austin but with ponies), Celestia Jr. there will make a good protagonist.

I like how nobody noticed and/or cared that Peaceful Pumpkin is Fluttershy's past life, but two people realized Celestia Jr. looks like Rarity and I didn't even notice. :rainbowlaugh: Also I need to have Rarity find out she's a direct lineal descendant of Celestia and a janitor. Just for the look on her face! :trixieshiftright:

If she would invent a gender-swap spell she could make foals much faster...

Meh, better not.
Nice story, by the way.

8027553

Thanks! Also thanks for the plot bunny. :moustache:

8027482 Wait... Peaceful Pumpkin was Fluttershy's former life?!

Holy shit how did I miss that?!

8028538

Well, I based him on my interpretation of Butterscotch, so it might not be 100% obvious. :trixieshiftleft:

Ah, Scotchie. <3<3<3

8073930

If nothing else she's definitely a direct descendant in this headcanon/continuity.

8127427

OMFG! :D I can never read reviews, even positive ones, without a day or two to calm down about it, but I'm glad you liked it! :raritywink: Thanks!

8127441 VERY WELCOME, AND GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT, THANK FOR THE GREAT STORY.

Also I'm to damn lazy to fix that after all that typing.... stupid caps lock key.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Oh, that was good fun! :D

Heir.
The word is Heir.

8161657

Is there a typo? What chapter. What did I put instead, if you remember?

8162202
It's right there at the end of the epilogue, which is the chapter in which I posted the comment. You put "air" instead.

8164120

Air to the throne. LOL. There's a fart joke in there somewhere.

Fixed. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

“They are mine to protect. And I love them. All of them. So much.”

This is Celestia.






Also totally notices the Fluttershy ancestor!

8398651

Also totally notices the Fluttershy ancestor!

Yay!

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